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19 big signs he loves you without saying it

Are you wondering whether your man loves you without saying it?

Well, stop thinking and start reading.

Below, I’ve gone through the complete list of 19 signs he loves you.

It’s pretty cut and dry if you ask me, but have a look for yourself. You’ll probably be kicking yourself for not realizing the truth sooner.

Let’s get straight into it. These are the 19 surefire signs he loves you.

1) He’ll do anything for you

It doesn’t matter what it is, if you’re in need of something, he’ll be there to give it to you.

If you’re feeling a little down and need someone to cheer you up, he’ll be right there telling you stupid and goofy jokes to get you smiling.

When you really have feelings for someone, you love to make them laugh and enjoy life.

Even if he’s not as funny as Jim Carrey, he’ll make a noticeable effort to get you laughing and find the humorous side of things. This is especially true when you’re down or he can sense you’re not quite feeling up to par.

Maybe you’re stressing over a job interview or feeling depressed about your body image. Whether it’s a thoughtful gift, a listening ear or heartfelt advice and encouragement.

You’ll be able to tell that he’s not just doing or saying what you want to hear.

He really means it and wants the best for you in this situation and always.

A guy who cares about you more than just a bit is not going to fade out or ditch you when times get tough.

Like anyone he has his own issues, but if he loves you he’s going to be there for you the best that he can and explain to you if he can’t for any reason.

If he lets you down he’s going to apologize and make it better next time.

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Because he really cares about you.

If he’ll do anything for you when you need it, there’s a good chance that he might love you. A man that’s in love always wants to help out the girl and be the hero. When it comes to signs he loves you this is a big one.

Tiffany Toombs, Relationship Expert, and Director at Blue Lotus Mind, told Bustle that “we learn most about a person when they are placed in stressful situations.”

So if they’re reacting to the challenges you’re experiencing by helping you out, there’s a good chance he genuinely loves you.

2) He protects you

Is your safety and wellbeing his number 1 priority? Does he make an effort to protect you against things that can harm you—from the little things in life to the big threats?

When a guy falls in love, it’s often because you have triggered something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs.

What is it?

To fall in love, a guy needs to feel like he’s your protector. And that you genuinely respect him for doing this.

In other words, he needs to feel like your ‘hero’. Because when a man loves you he wants to be the one guy you can count on.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

Although you may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want him to fall in love with you, then you have to let him.

When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, watch James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your man.

I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across. And James Bauer is the real deal when it comes to relationship advice.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

3) He’s more distant than usual

This may seem like a strange one, but hear me out.

When a guy is in love, it can leave him feeling confused and unsure of what to do with his emotions. He may have liked someone before, sure, but now he’s swept up in something that’s more intense and all-consuming and he’s wondering exactly what to do about it and with it.

He doesn’t want to blow it because now that he’s met you he’s feeling things he might not have even known were possible.

So in order not to feel uncomfortable, he might start avoiding you. When family and friends ask about him you might wonder what to say and be worried in the back of your mind: why hasn’t he called in two days?

But sometimes when you really love someone you need to look deeper than their surface behavior to understand what’s going on: is he ghosting you or is he just feeling overwhelmed by his own feelings?

In fact, some women say that they thought their guy was going to break up with them when they actually popped the question!

A reason for this could be that a lot of men may have a fear of intimacy, so the feelings of love are intimidating them a little. If a man loves someone it can freak him out a little bit sometimes.

According to Seth Myers in Psychology Today, one study found that “men scored higher on a fear-of-intimacy scale.”

So don’t worry if he’s appearing more distant than usual, he might just be experiencing deep emotions that he’s unsure of how to handle.

Give him time and he’ll start to feel more comfortable with his emotions.

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4) He wants to grow and evolve in life with you

In the free masterclass on finding love and intimacy, the shaman Rudá Iandê says that the sign of a healthy relationship is that the two partners want to grow and evolve in life together.

Ask yourself this:

Does he want to create a genuine and lasting partnership with you? Does he share his life’s challenges so you can help him overcome them?

Is he wanting to help you get through your own challenges? Make sure you are honest about the answers to these questions.

There are many signs he loves you, but this is one of the most important.

Life is a process of continual change and growth, and if your partner isn’t willing to come along for the ride then it’s going to get rocky.

Even if you started out with the love story of your dreams it can quickly go off track.

If he isn’t wanting to evolve and grow with you and doesn’t respect or value the transitions and developments that are happening in your life then you can end up lonely and disappointed.

Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass on finding true love and intimacy is full of excellent insights and valuable new approaches to understanding whether your guy is the guy for you and whether the path you are going down is one you should continue on or not.

5) He’s emotionally unavailable

Okay, being emotionally unavailable isn’t a definite sign that he loves you. But equally you should never take it is a sign that he doesn’t.

The thing is that men want deep and intimate companionship just as much as women do.

So why are so many men emotionally unavailable to women?

An emotionally unavailable man is typically someone who is unable to emotionally commit to a relationship with you. He wants to keep things casual and undefined to avoid commitments he doesn’t think he can handle.

I know about emotionally unavailable men because I am one myself. You can read more about my story here.

If you’ve ever been with a man who suddenly goes cold and pulls away, you’ll see a lot of myself in him.

However, the problem isn’t you. The problem isn’t even with him

The simple truth is that male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, did you know that the emotional processing center of the female brain is much larger than in men?

That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process feelings, leading to serious commitment issues.

If you’ve ever been let down by an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.

I learned this from relationship expert Amy North. She’s smart, straightforward and one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology and why men act the way they do.

In her excellent free video, she gives you the solution for dealing with emotionally unavailable men.

The key is communicating with him in a way that he’ll actually understand. Because there are words and phrases you can say that will instantly draw him to you.

Amy North reveals exactly what to say to make a man commit to a relationship with you. Her scripts work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.

Here’s a link to Amy North’s free video again.

If you want science-based techniques to attract men and get them to commit to you, this video is well worth checking out.

6) He is always looking for your advice

Is your man seeking your opinion, whether it’s work stuff or social life matters? Whatever it is, if he’s looking for your advice, it means he respects you, admires you and cares what you think.

He’s not just asking your advice to be nice either: you can tell it’s because your judgment of a situation, person or event matters to him.

Why?

Simple: because you matter to him. It’s natural that we want to know the thoughts and feelings of someone we care about and hold in high esteem.

They often say that one of the most important aspects of love is respect, and if he’s asking for your advice, then clearly he respects what you’re going to say.

A man who truly loves you cares about what you say and respects your perspective even when he doesn’t agree.

“Love brings bliss to both types of relationships, but only if tempered by respect.” – Peter Gray Ph.D. in Psychology Today

7) He’s talking about the future with you in it

If he’s talking about his future plans and it’s clear that you’re apart of it, then that’s a great a sign that he is committed to a future with you.

Let’s be honest, guys aren’t exactly the best at making concrete plans for the future, so if he sees you two together in 6 months, a year or 10 years, it’s clear that he’s happy in the relationship …

… and he wants you to be part of his life for a very long time.

It’s easy to become somewhat intimidated if he starts doing this too early, but if you’re falling for a guy and wonder whether he really feels the same watch out for this happening.

If he acts uncomfortable and shies away from questions about the future or his plans down the road it’s not a good sign, but if he opens up and gets a gleam in his eye talking about a future with you in it then you know you’re in his future plans.

Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, associate professor of psychology at St. Francis College says that when partners ask each other questions about the future, it shows “a certain level of intimacy”.

8) He won’t forget the little things

If you tell him that you’re having after work drinks with some colleagues, he’ll remember and ask you how it was when you get home.

If you mention that you need a new toothbrush, he’ll pick one up when he’s at the store.

If he’s in love, he knows that his responsibility is to look after you and he’s not going to bail from that. And if he’s in love, he’s always consuming the information about your life that you’re giving him.

After all, you’re his number one priority.

What do people do when they care about someone or something a lot? Ask a baseball fanatic who knows the statistics from the last three seasons for every one of his players. That’s right: we remember the details.

In fact, when you’re in love, it’s hard to focus on anything else. Research from Loyola University suggests that people who are in love have lower levels of serotonin, which could be a sign of obsession.

“This may explain why we concentrate on little other than our partner during the early stages of a relationship,” said obstetrician-gynecologist Mary Lynn, DO, in a news release.

9) He’s always physically close to you

If a guy is in love, they’ll always find excuses to cuddle you and be as close as possible to you.

If you’re eating dinner at a restaurant, he’ll sit next to you so he can touch you. If you’re at a party, he’ll be by your side all night.

He feels great when he’s around you and he wants to protect you physically as much as he possibly can.

It’s just his way of saying I love you, without you know, actually saying it.

In fact, a great way to see if he’s really into you is to look where his feet are pointed. Want to see signs he loves you? His feet might literally be pointing out the answer to you.

Judy Dutton author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, discussed body language with Marie Claire and explained that:

“Feet typically point in the direction they want to go, so if someone’s feet are pointed toward you, that’s good. If they’re pointed away from you, that’s bad,” Dutton explained.

“If someone’s feet are pointed in toward each other, that ‘pigeon toes’ stance is actually a good sign, since it’s a subconscious attempt to shrink in size and appear harmless, approachable … which may very well mean someone likes you, a lot.”

10) He friends already know everything about you

Surprised at how much his friends know about your life? Don’t be. If a man is in love, he’ll talk about the girl he is into you to his friends and family. What her personality is like, what she does for work, why she’s so sexy…a guy just can’t help it.

So if he’s not great at expressing his feelings, but his friends and family know everything you, know that he truly cares for you and he might be in love with you.

After all, when someone is in love, they can’t stop thinking about that person, so it’s likely they’ll talk about them to their friends.

It can be a pleasant surprise to have it confirmed that you’re not just someone he spends time with and is intimate with one-on-one, you’re also someone he’s proud of and talks about to his friends.

He does this because your connection means so much to him.

In the book “The Anatomy of Love,” by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, she says that “thoughts of the ‘love object’ begin to invade your mind. … You wonder what your beloved would think of the book you are reading, the movie you just saw, or the problem you are facing at the office.”

In reality, you may be more than just friends.

11) He’s always showing up where you are

If you mentioned that you love the beach on the weekend, and suddenly he is showing up at the beach, there’s a good chance that he’s got the feels for you.

If you told him you’re going to a cafe and he rocks up 5 minutes later, then he is probably in love with you.

Obviously this can be creepy if he’s a stalker and you’re not interested.

But if your heart is beating for this guy and you melt every time you see him then chances are he’s feeling something very similar if he also keeps popping up around you.

Helen Fisher says that a key sign you’re falling in love is when the person you’re falling for has begun to take on “special meaning.”

This means that if he says “yes!” within a second anytime you invite him to anything, congratulations, he is probably in love with you.

12) How is he looking at you?

One of the best ways to tell whether a guy likes you or not is to look at his eyes. Are his eyes “glowing” when he looks at you? Is he always looking directly into your eyes without flinching?

If he can’t stop staring at you, it means that his undivided attention is on you.

When he gazes deep into your eyes it’s because he’s feeling attraction and something about you that holds his attention and focus more than just momentarily.

This often means there is something more than just physical attraction, too.

In fact, according to The Independent, some studies have found that couples who repeatedly lock eyes with each other have a strong romantic connection than those who don’t.

Another way to tell if he loves you is to see if his eyes are dilated.

Body language expert Patti Wood told Cosmopolitan, “Dilation is a brain response that occurs when you like and are attracted to something,”

So if he can’t keep his eyes off you, there’s a good chance that he’s falling in love and it’s one of the key signs he loves you.

13) He just wants you to be happy

We’ve all heard the saying that in the strongest relationships, two becomes one. And when this happens, your partner’s happiness becomes just as important as your own.

In fact, research has suggested that “compassionate love” can be one of the biggest signs of a healthy relationship. Compassionate love refers to love that “centers on the good of the other.”

“I just want the best for you,” might be a movie cliche, but it can also be a sentence that’s full of deep love.

Plans don’t always align perfectly and there’s guaranteed to be some stressful days, but if this man is making it clear that he wants you to be happy above all then it is a clear demonstration that you are more than just a short-term fling.

So if you find your man is going out of his way to keep you dry when you’re walking in the rain or he is making you breakfast on one of your busiest days, it’s a sign that he has got it bad for you.

14) He seems a little more stressed than usual

While we associate love with all those great emotions and feelings, the emotion of love can also release stress in the brain.

Of course this doesn’t mean he can just act like a jerk, but it does mean you might notice him tapping his fingers oddly or scratching the back of his head a lot in a nervous way.

He could also just have dandruff, but that’s an entirely separate issue.

It sounds weird, but if you’ve found that he is a little more annoyed and stressed than usual, it might be that cortisol is getting released in his brain because of love.

Love is a lot of fun, but it’s also pretty intense!

This stressed and nervous behavior is generally in the initial stages of falling in love. A small study published in 2004 found an increase in levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, in new couples.

QUIZ: Is he pulling away? Find out exactly where you stand with your man with this excellent “is he pulling away” quiz. Check it out here.

15) He is constantly trying new things that you like to do

Everyone wants to impress the person they love, so if you find that he’s constantly trying new things that you like to do, then there’s a good chance he’s been bitten by the love bug.

In fact, a study suggested that people who claimed that they were in love had varied interests and personality traits after those relationships.

So if he is going salsa dancing with you when it’s something that he’s never done before, he’s probably in love with you or at least on his way there.

Most women don’t want a guy who falls all over them at every opportunity, but his willingness to try new things and share in what you enjoy most is a great sign.

Maybe he even tried a new food that he hasn’t before which you recommended. You can tell he didn’t love it, but it turned into a good joke instead of something awkward.

That sour face he made when he swallowed instead of asking the waiter to return the food?

That’s the face of love.

16) He is farting in front of you

As gross as it sounds, couples that are comfortable farting in front of each other are more likely to have a successful relationship. If you tell this to family and friends they would probably think you’re out of your mind but it’s actually true.

When you’re comfortable enough to do gross things in front of each other, it’s actually a good sign.

You might feel disgusted, but that’s what love sounds and smells like sometimes.

At least, some data says so. And facts are facts, right?

According to a 2016 survey by Mic, being comfortable enough to fart in front of each other is a key transition from liking someone to being in love with that person. So that disgusting fart he just did could actually be one of the important signs he loves you.

17) He’s feeling more anxious or nervous around you

Yep, falling in love can cause you to get the jitters! While it’s certainly true that love can make you feel great in the early stages of love, but according to Thought Co, they can also make you feel anxious and obsessive.

This is why he might appear like he is a little more nervous or anxious than usual. Pay attention to his behavior. Is he acting like he’s a giddy schoolboy at his first middle school dance? It could actually be a good thing.

This one is related to stress and sometimes it can manifest in him stuttering or even being at a loss for words when you act a question or acting strange when you invite him out.

However, this usually occurs at the beginning of the relationship and should dissipate as he becomes more comfortable.

18) He loves everything about you…even the weird things

We all have our quirks and once you truly get to know someone, those weird little traits start to come out. Have you always wondered about his bizarre email address or why he loves reptiles so much?

He’s probably wondering about some unique things about you, too.

And when you truly love someone, you start to get attracted to those weird trait that makes them, them. You want to know more, even if it’s a little bit strange.

According to Live Science, when you’re in love, you begin to think your beloved is unique. This belief is also coupled with an inability to feel a romantic passion for anyone else.

It’s like an “all rights reserved” stamp that goes on your heart and feelings when you fall in love with someone.

So if he loves the weird things about you…perhaps even things you consider liabilities for yourself, then it’s a strong indication that he is in awe of your uniqueness.

19) He can’t stop complimenting you

Compliments by itself don’t mean much. Any guy can give a compliment in order to get a girl in the sack…but usually, those compliments are generic and without meaning.

But if he truly loves you, he’ll probably be complimenting you on subtle things that you may not even be aware of.

It could be unique tidbits about your personality, or he’ll notice a little change in your hairstyle.

Jonathan Bennett, a Dating/Relationship Coach, told Bustle, “If your partner possesses the ability to brighten your mood with a few words of praise when you need it most, it’s a great sign that he or she understands what makes you tick and appreciates your authentic self. This person is a definite keeper!”

Let’s be honest, guys aren’t great at giving compliments, so if he is complimenting you constantly without even really knowing that he’s doing it, that’s a great sign that he loves you.

What do you think?

Written by Justin Brown

I'm Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod. I've overseen the evolution of Ideapod from a social network for ideas into a publishing and education platform with millions of monthly readers and multiple products helping people to think critically, see issues clearly and engage with the world responsibly.

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