It’s hard to maintain a healthy relationship when one partner is emotionally unavailable.
In this article, we’re going to explore how to get it right and overcome the challenges of being in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man and what you can do about it.
Let’s dive in!
1) You will feel alone a lot of the time
You will feel alone a lot of the time.
This is because the emotionally unavailable man won’t be there for you when you need him to be.
He will either have to work late, or he just won’t answer your calls and texts.
This is one of the hardest things to deal with in an emotionally unavailable relationship.
2) It will start affecting his ego and self-esteem
When you ignore a man who’s emotionally unavailable, it will start bothering him to such a degree that he’ll start feeling depressed and anxious.
He will try to figure things out on his own and won’t turn to friends or family for advice. He will be stuck in a cycle of overthinking, overanalyzing, and worrying about why you’re not responding to him.
Does he even care?
Because you are no longer validating him, he will start to clam up even more, not the best way to approach the situation!
So, what can you do?
Let him know that you care about him and that you are prepared to give him the time he needs to sort through his feelings. This will allow him to feel more secure (because you haven’t cut him off entirely,) but also, don’t overdo it on the texting and calls.
You should check in with him periodically – just enough so that he knows you are still interested in him.
3) You’ll try to change yourself for him
I’ve been here and it’s not pretty!
You’ll try to change yourself for him.
He might tell you that he doesn’t like the way that you dress, or he doesn’t like the way that your hair looks, or he doesn’t like anything about you.
It gets pretty frustrating when someone is telling you that there are things about yourself that need to be changed, especially when those things aren’t really a big deal at all.
But, this is one of the most common ways in which an emotionally unavailable man will try to manipulate you.
So, how do you deal?
If you love this guy, it’s challenging. I hear you. But, if he really loves you, why on earth would he try to change you? You are enough and you shouldn’t ever change who you are for anyone.
If he cannot accept you for who you are, it might be time to start thinking about walking away.
The are plenty of guys out there who will accept you for you!
But the problem here is to learn how you can accept yourself.
As I said, I noticed that I was trying to change myself when I had to deal with an emotionally unavailable man.
Luckily, I got in touch with a professional relationship coach who helped me re-focus on myself and accept my feelings and thoughts.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with issues about self-acceptance as well.
Most importantly, I’m sure they will provide helpful guidance to build a fulfilling relationship with important people in your life.
If this sounds like something appealing, here’s what you should do:
4) You’ll feel like you’re always apologizing
When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man you’ll feel like you’re always apologizing for things that shouldn’t be your fault.
This can be anything from something small, like forgetting your anniversary or forgetting his favorite meal, to something big, like accidentally breaking something really expensive or getting in a car accident.
It doesn’t matter what it is that you did wrong; the emotionally unavailable man will make you feel like you did something wrong and that there’s nothing you can do to fix it.
Here’s the secret…
STOP apologizing! The problem lies with him and not you so if he’s the type of guy where you feel you need to walk on eggshells around him, this is not a healthy space to be in.
Not everything is your fault and the sooner he starts realizing this, the easier it will be for him to accept that life happens and it’s not wise to try to blame people.
5) You will feel like giving up on him
You will feel like giving upon him.
Yup, when you ignore him he will most likely do the same to you.
It’s a textbook case of tit for tat, butter for fat!
It’s hard to keep trying with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
It’s hard to keep trying with someone who doesn’t even try to make things better.
If you feel like this relationship is never going anywhere, then it might be time for you to give up on him, and move on.
6) You won’t have any friends
You won’t have any friends, because he won’t allow it.
Yes, even though you are ignoring him, he is still pulling the strings!
He wants all of your attention on him and no one else.
He might even get jealous if he sees that you are spending time with your family or friends, and he might even make you feel bad about it.
He will make you feel like you should be spending more time with him, and less time with everyone else.
This is not a healthy relationship. It’s the opposite!
Do you really want to be with someone who denies you the opportunity to spend time with those who love and support you?
Didn’t think so!
7) You’ll try to be someone you’re not
This follows on from the point above, but, it’s different.
It goes deeper than just the superficial.
You’ll try to be someone you’re not. You might even start lying about who you are and what you want out of a relationship.
This is because he doesn’t want to hear about your wants and needs, and he doesn’t want to compromise with you in any way.
If this is the case, then it can be pretty easy for him to convince you that there are things about yourself that need to change, because he will make it seem like those changes are a good thing for both of you.
They are not!
Don’t allow yourself to be brainwashed. As mentioned earlier, if he can’t accept the real you, start evaluating your relationship and start doing some soul searching.
The truth is, most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:
The relationship we have with ourselves.
I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his genuine, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
He covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, such as codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without even realizing it.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t much different from yours and mine.
Until he found a way to overcome these common issues. And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change today and cultivate healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.
8) He won’t be able to have a normal conversation with you
When you ignore him, he won’t be able to have a normal conversation with you.
He will only talk about the things that he wants to talk about, and he will only talk about the things that he wants to share with you.
This means that if there is something on your mind, then he probably won’t want to hear it, because it’s not going to have anything to do with him.
And if there is something that you need or want from him, then this isn’t going to be a good time for him either.
The way you deal with this scenario is up to you.
Yes, you could carry on acting like the world revolves around him and lose yourself in the process, or, you can put your foot down and say “enough, is enough”!
9) You will feel like you need someone else to be happy
Lightbulb moment alert!
You will feel like you need someone else to be happy. You will feel like you need someone else in your life because he just isn’t enough for you.
If this is the case, then it might be time for you to realize that you deserve so much more than what he can offer.
Now that you’ve seen the light, it’s time to move on.
Remember, know your worth and then add tax!
What can I do if my man is emotionally unavailable?
If you feel like your man is emotionally unavailable, then it’s important for you to understand that this is a problem that he needs to fix.
You can’t change him, and you can’t make him want to change.
You have to realize that if he is emotionally unavailable, then he will never be able to give you the love and attention that you deserve.
So what can you do?
Even though this isn’t something that you can control, there are still a few things that you can do in order to help yourself move on from it.
If this relationship isn’t going anywhere and it isn’t fulfilling enough for you, then it might be time to start looking for someone else.
If you feel like this isn’t the right relationship for you, then it’s time to move on and stop wasting your time.
If you want to find someone who will give you all of the love that you deserve and who won’t leave you feeling emotionally abandoned, then it’s time to start putting yourself out there.
Maybe he isn’t emotionally available now, but maybe he will be in the future.
There are some things that we can’t control and we have to just let them be.
I know that it’s hard to let go, but you have to realize that if this relationship isn’t right, then it isn’t right.
What causes a man to be emotionally unavailable?
There are a lot of different things that can cause a man to be emotionally unavailable.
It could be something that has happened in his past, such as his parents getting divorced, or it could be a bad experience with another woman in the past.
It could also just be a personality thing. Some men just aren’t wired to give love and attention and they don’t know how to do it.
When it comes down to it, emotional unavailability is something that we can’t control and we have to accept that.
Even if you do everything right and you are the perfect girlfriend for him, he is still going to be emotionally unavailable for reasons beyond your control.
You just have to accept that this is something that is going to be a problem in your relationship and you have to decide if it’s something that you can live with.
If you can’t accept it and if this is something that you need, then you are probably going to end up breaking up with him.
You have to realize that there is no way that he is ever going to change his ways and if he doesn’t want to love you as you deserve, then he isn’t the right guy for you.
What are the signs of emotional unavailability?
There are a lot of signs that a man is emotionally unavailable. I’ve listed some of the signs that I’ve had personal experience with but there are loads more!
If you haven’t already figured it out, the first and most obvious sign is that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
The other big ones are…
1) Future? What’s that?
They avoid talking about the future, they don’t want to meet your family, and they don’t want to spend time with you.
You’d swear you’ve got the plague because getting them to be with you seems like a full-time job.
And, when you’re not trying to force them into spending time with you, they are always busy and they always have something to do when you invite them over.
2) Unaffectionate and cold
He says he loves you, but what you’re feeling is definitely not love.
If his actions don’t match his words, then this is also a sign of emotional unavailability.
If he isn’t showing you affection or he isn’t spending time with you, but he tells you that he loves you and wants to be with you forever, then this is a big problem.
3) Constant Conflict and Drama
If the two of you are fighting all the time and there doesn’t seem to be any resolution, then this could be another sign.
If he can’t handle conflicts in your relationship, then it could be because he isn’t capable of doing it or because it isn’t right for him. You have to decide which one is.
4) Nothing is ever resolved
If you are having problems in your relationship and he wants to talk about it, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it, then this is another sign of emotional unavailability.
5) He doesn’t try to fix anything
He doesn’t want to work on your relationship because he isn’t capable of doing so.
He may say that he wants to fix things, but if he wants to fix them but isn’t willing to put the time and effort into doing so, then there is probably something wrong with him.
Does no contact work on an emotionally unavailable man?
No Contact is a technique that many people use when they are trying to get over someone who is emotionally unavailable.
It is a way of cutting off all contact with this person so that you don’t have to deal with the pain and hurt that comes from being around him.
It works for some people, but not for others. If you are dealing with an emotionally unavailable man, then it could be worth a try.
You don’t have anything to lose if you have tried everything else and nothing has worked. This could be the thing that finally does the trick for you.
Try not to think about him or contact him in any way for at least a month or two.
When this time period is up, you should be able to see things in a whole new light. If you still feel the same way about him, then you should try something else.
No Contact is a good technique to use when you don’t know what else to do. It is also a good technique if you are trying to give yourself a break and some time away from him.
It could be the thing that finally helps you get over him and move on with your life.
How do you move on when you are in love with an emotionally unavailable man?
If you’re reading this. I’ve been in your shoes!
There are times when we fall in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable for whatever reason.
We become obsessed with this person and want nothing more than to be with them.
We will do everything we possibly can to make them fall in love with us as well.
If you are in this situation, then you will want to take care of yourself and move on with your life.
You can’t make someone fall in love with you if they don’t feel that way about you. He is emotionally unavailable for whatever reason and there is nothing that you can do about it.
You should try to think about what is going on here and why this man is unable to love and commit to a relationship.
He is not going to change his mind about loving you, so it is time for you to find someone else who can love you the way that you deserve.
And once again, you need to start with yourself, reflect on your thoughts and focus on the relationship you have with yourself.
That way, you’ll realize how important it is to consider your own needs before trying to build a fulfilling relationship with someone else.
If this sounds impressive, once again, don’t hesitate to watch Rudá Iande’s free masterclass about Love and Intimacy.
Emotionally unavailable men are everywhere. Dating is like walking through a minefield at times!
It is hard to find a good man who can love and commit to you. If you are dating someone like this, then you will want to do something about it.
You can’t force him to love and commit, so what do you do?
If you try everything else and nothing seems to work, then it is time for you to try No Contact.
This could be just what the doctor ordered for your situation.
You shouldn’t have any contact with him whatsoever until you feel differently about him in some way.
If not, then it is time to move on with your life and find someone who wants the same things that you want out of a relationship.