What to do when a guy is unsure of his feelings for you: 9 important tips

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Whether it’s been a week, months, or even years since you’ve had the chance to get to know this guy better and discover where your relationship might be headed, the uncertainty in the air can be quite uncomfortable.

So what can you do about it?

There are proven ways to make a guy realize exactly what he feels for you and conscious actions that you can take to ensure that your relationship develops the way you’ve envisioned it.

This article takes a look at important things that you can do when a guy is unsure of his feelings for you.

1) Simply ask him what he really needs

Having a heart-to-heart conversation with this guy may not be the ideal way to handle this situation for you, but it might be in your best interest.

Therefore, what I’m suggesting is to gather up the courage and ask him what he needs to get clarity about where things really stand between you two.

This point is hard to put into practice; I know. However, it might get you the things you need too.

For example, you might find out that things are going too fast for him or that he just doesn’t think monogamy is suited to him.

Whatever his reason may be, at least you’ll know what’s going on in his head and whether or not you can do something about it.

2) Trigger one of his innate drives

Such a frustrating situation must be approached daringly, by triggering one of this guy’s innate drives.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

3) Have patience with him

A gentle approach to any relationship development is a great thing. What I mean is that you shouldn’t rush things.

The more time you and your guy spend together, the more likely he is to fall in love with you deeply and stay in love with you, as well as express his feelings openly.

As you might expect, a guy who is unsure of his feelings for you will try to put off talking about them because he doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable.

This is why patience plays a vital role in your pursuit of happiness in this relationship.

4) Give him the space he needs

If a guy is fighting his feelings for you, giving him some space will definitely work for you. Why?

Because the uncertainty he feels in his gut is more than likely the result of fear.

His fears could be related to the fact that he feels that he might not be ready for a committed relationship because he was hurt in the past, or maybe he’s not good enough for you.

Whatever the cause may be, it’s crucial to give him some space to figure out what he needs to do about things on his own.

This step is important because that’s how he will tune in to his deeper feelings for you. The result?

He’ll eventually be able to express his feelings for you and share what he feels in an honest way.

By letting him space out on his thoughts, you’ll show that you’re open to him, with full trust in his feelings for you.

The next move is up to him.

5) Reassure him of your feelings

A guy who is unsure of his feelings for you will most likely be looking for evidence that he’s not the only one who has deep feelings.

It would be a great idea to reassure him of your feelings and try to put his mind at ease with this. It could also work out great if you were willing to compromise with him.

So, if you’re willing to put enough energy into the relationship, you could actually convince him that you’re the one he needs in his life.

6) Let things play out the way they are supposed to

I’m not saying that you should let things get out of control. What I’m saying is that you need to give things some time and let them unfold naturally.

If a guy is unsure of his feelings for you, then he needs space and time to recognize what it is that he truly wants.

While this point could also be difficult for you to put into practice, it might lead you to a situation where you can build a stronger relationship rather than one that works just because you pressure him.

Stubbornness can land in anyone, at any point in time. This is why most guys who are unsure of their feelings don’t want you to push them into making commitments and decisions about their relationship with you.

7) Ask yourself if you really want to be with him

Sometimes, it’s best to take a second and have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself.

Do you really want to be with him? If you truly love this guy, then it’s worth trying the tips above and below in this article.

However, if you’re not 100% sure either, but more preoccupied with the fact that he’s unsure of his feelings for you, then maybe you could use a break to figure out your own feelings.

So, if you have your own doubts and insecurities, then ask yourself a few questions.

For example, you could ask yourself why it is that you’re having these doubts and if they’re really worth taking into consideration.

Either way, this is something that can help you figure out what the best move for you should be.

If it turns out that this relationship is not bringing happiness to your life, then it’s better to move on instead of hanging on to him.

8) Accept his feelings

I know it’s hard to accept that this guy is unsure of his feelings for you, and this was definitely not meant to happen.

However, if he feels unsure of his feelings for you, he might be in fact afraid of getting hurt or settling down.

It’s important to note that these reasons have nothing to do with you. They’re most probably coming from past traumas.

Accepting his feelings is the best option for you for a number of reasons.

First, because it’s the only logical thing to do; and second, because eventually, he will be able to admit how he feels towards you and show you how much he cares.

Sometimes, all it takes is to want to accept his feelings in order for him to open up.

9) Make sure he trusts you

Trust is crucial for any relationship to work. Whether it’s about you making him feel that way or the other way around, trust is crucial in a relationship.

If there are trust issues between the two of you, then it’ll be far more difficult for this guy to open up and be honest with you.

Trust is essential for love to flourish in a relationship.

Why? Because if you don’t trust someone enough to believe what they say or do, their emotions will always be at stake and your relationship might not go anywhere.

This is something you’ll definitely want to exclude from your relationship.

This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to trust you and fully commit to you.

And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.

All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

What does inconsistency say about a person?

Inconsistency is a trait that’s hard to deal with. If a guy is unsure of his feelings for you, then you need to go deep down and figure out why he’s like this.

Being inconsistent is usually the result of uncertainty and not being able to commit. Simply put, it’s a feeling that takes over his life and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

That’s why you need to understand why he’s like this and what you can do in order to make him feel better. So, you need to ask yourself a few questions.

For example, you could ask yourself, what is really the cause of his inconsistency? And if it makes sense for you to deal with it.

How do you respond to inconsistency?

Ways to respond to inconsistency are :

1) Talk to him about it

Perhaps talking to him about it will clear his mind and he’ll be able to see things from your point of view.

If you feel like there’s a chance that this will work, then this is the right thing to do.

Nevertheless, don’t get your hopes up too high because there are no guarantees here.

2) Don’t ignore it

If you ignore it, you’re not doing yourself any good.

You need to understand that this guy who is unsure of his feelings for you is a huge risk to your happiness.

So, if his inconsistency is harming your self-esteem and making you feel worse about yourself, then it’s time to cut him out of your life.

3) Don’t accept it

Let me be honest with you:

Unless this guy’s your soulmate or something like that, you shouldn’t accept his inconsistency.

In fact, this is one of the major things that could drive you crazy and lead you to a point where you have no other option but to leave him.

He’s unsure of his feelings for you. What next?

By now you should have a good idea of the things you can do in case he’s unsure of his feelings for you.

But, there’s something else you could do to resolve this. What?

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

Daniela Duca Damian

I’m Daniela, a passionate writer with an academic background in journalism. My work is based on research and facts. In recent years I have focused on the study of interpersonal relationships, analyzing, and writing about aspects related to social connections, romantic relationships, but also personal development. My goal is to decipher the most confusing concepts so that anyone who is interested in living a better and fulfilled life can apply them. When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life.

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