“Does she like me?”
Are you asking yourself this question?
It’s no secret that women are incredibly hard to read. I’m a guy and I’ve found it impossible my whole life.
But when you do some research on women psychology, you start to realize that it isn’t as complex as you might think.
The trick is knowing what signs to look for (while also keeping in mind her individual psychology).
So check out what I’ve found from my research. I hope it can help you as much as it has helped me.
1) She can’t say yes fast enough!
Pretty obvious, right?
If she says “yes!” to any opportunity to hang out with you, then clearly she wants to spend time with you.
It’s not that she’s desperate, but she knows a good guy when she sees one.
Susan Whitbourne, Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, says that “someone who truly cares about you will use whatever time is left over to have some together alone.”
However, if you don’t know her very well, she may not say yes to any opportunity to hang out with you as she doesn’t want to appear needy and desperate.
Women tend to be more socially intelligent than men (in general), and they intuitively know that an overly clingy and desperate person can turn off a more psychologically healthy person (which they assume is you).
But keep in mind that she will make time to see you if she likes you, even if she says she won’t initially. Perhaps she’ll try to organize it for another day. She won’t want to miss her chance.
However, if she is relatively comfortable with you already and you’re not in the initial courting stages, then if she likes you she’ll undoubtedly say yes to any chance she gets to spend time with you.
2) She is mirroring your actions
If a girl likes you, there are a number of things that she is going to do that are going to give you a good sense of just how much she is into you.
For example, watch for her mirroring your behavior when she talks.
If your legs are crossed, her legs will be crossed. If your head is tilted, her head will be tilted. If you laugh, she’ll laugh.
When people feel comfortable with someone else, they subconsciously start to act like them.
This may actually be rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System.
This network in the brain is the glue that binds people together. A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is linked to cooperation and liking.
She could mirror you in a number of ways. It could involve copying your body language, your talking pace, or even using the same words that you use.
Jane McGonigal, Ph.D. told Big Think that “mirroring” suggests that you’re compatible with someone, personally or professionally.
So these mirroring acts don’t necessarily mean that she romantically likes you, but it is a good sign that she feels a rapport.
3) She lightly touches you
Whenever you are around other people, she feels the need to reach out and touch your arm or hand.
According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, “women may lightly touch the arm of the person they are talking to. This light touch is not an invitation to a sexual encounter; it merely indicates she likes you.”
This is a subconscious behavior that she does to build rapport.
You can also observe how she responds to your touch. If she’s comfortable with your hand on her shoulder, then that’s a good sign.
But if she takes a step back when you lightly touch her, then that’s a sign that she doesn’t feel comfortable with you enough for touch yet.
4) You can talk and talk without effort.
Your conversations are all but exhausting. If someone had to listen to the two of you talk, they would get tired of the back and forth pretty quickly.
But for the two of you, the conversation is effortless and very exciting.
You feel like you can talk to her for hours on end and she seems perfectly happy to do just that.
When two people are making an effort in the conversation, asking engaging questions and actually listening, then the rapport and chemistry will be high.
In the same vein, she may also start revealing personal details about her life to you. She obviously trusts you if she is doing this, and that’s a great sign that she likes you.
A girl might like you more than you realize if she shares something personal with you.
She trusts you not to tell anyone else and that is a big step in any relationship – even a friendship.
It’s hard to tell people our secrets so if she has shared something important with you, don’t take that for granted. It’s a sign.
According to University of Dayton psychology professor R. Matthew Montoya:
“When we like someone, we act in ways to get them to trust us. From this perspective, we engage in these behaviors to increase the degree of overlap, interdependence, and commitment to an agreement.”
On the other hand, if she doesn’t seem to really care if there are awkward silences or not and appears like she just doesn’t have much invested in the conversation, then it’s likely she isn’t attracted to you.
5) Her friends and family already know all about you when you finally meet them.
If you are looking for a surefire way to tell that she likes you, you’ll know when you meet her friends and they already know everything about you.
They might know things about you that you didn’t even tell her so watch for that.
It’s funny how girls will share little tidbits of details that turn out to mean a lot more to her than you might realize.
And this makes sense. When someone is in love, they can’t stop thinking about that person, so it’s likely they’ll talk about them to their friends.
In the book “The Anatomy of Love,” by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, she says that “thoughts of the ‘love object’ begin to invade your mind. …You wonder what your beloved would think of the book you are reading, the movie you just saw, or the problem you are facing at the office.”
6) She acts like a dork in front of you.
A girl likes you when she lets herself be vulnerable around you.
If she’s doing silly things and being a total dork about the things she likes or does, you can believe that she is into you and trusts you enough to show up like that.
According to popular dating expert Matthew Hussey:
“It’s school playground stuff. The boy or girl is going to act strangely around the person they like. As soon as we like someone, it tends to be that our charisma and our wit and our fun, casual nature goes out the window — and this new, strange, awkward fumbling person shows up.”
What’s more, they may even start to blush around you when you compliment you.
Blushing is developing a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment or shame.
It’s common to blush when you receive an unexpected compliment or you like someone.
When you are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red.
According to behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards in Huffington Post, “this actually mimics the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It’s an evolutionary process to attract the opposite sex”.
Interestingly, this is why red is known as the sexy color.
So if they’re looking slightly red in the face when they’re around you, that could be a good sign that they’re attracted to you.
7) She laughs like a fool at your awful jokes.
You know your jokes are terrible. Everyone tells you so. But this girl seems to think you are the funniest guy on the planet and doesn’t even make fun of you when you lay it on thick and tell a string of bad jokes. It must be love.
She might not always think it’s cute that you could win a bad-joke contest, but right now, it’s the greatest thing ever to her.
According to human behavior and attraction expert Norman Li, telling jokes is a great way to find out if she likes you or not.
“There’s an easy way to find out… try to make them laugh. If the laughter comes easy, the answer is likely yes. If it doesn’t, the answer is likely no.”
Humor is a huge indicator of a positive relationship with someone. If she engages in smiles, humorous and playful banter, then she is definitely interested in you.
Don’t stop sharing those silly stories and she’ll be yours before you know it.
8) She fixes her clothes and hair.
Preening is a thing both guys and girls do when they want to look good for someone. If she’s attracted to you, she’ll want to look her best when you are around.
Pay attention to whether or not she fixes her clothes or plays with her hair.
These are both signs that she wants you to notice her and take notice of the effort she has put in to look good for you.
We tend to preen subconsciously when we want to look good for someone else in our vicinity.
According to Helen E. Fisher in Psychology Today, preening is used as a way to draw attention to the whom they’re attracted to.
“Young women begin the attention-getting phase with many of the same maneuvers that men use—smiling, gazing, shifting, swaying, preening, stretching, moving in their territory to draw attention to themselves.”
9) She gets jealous when you’re around other women
You can tell she’s jealous of other women coming around and while you might enjoy the attention, she doesn’t want anyone else to be around you.
Jealously can be a sign of attraction, according to Bustle.
So if they are acting weird, flustered or angry when you’re talking with someone else, that could be a sign of jealousy.
If you notice that she sits closer to you when other women are around, or if she seems confrontational around other women on your behalf, she’s into you.
She might not admit it, but she is certainly trying to block another girl from entering the picture.
10) Her head tilts to the side.
You might think that this just means she is listening intently to you, and she might very well be.
But what this really means is that she is being submissive to you and wants you to know you are in control of the conversation.
She might be assertive in nature, but when she’s trying to get you to notice her and make you feel important, she’ll refrain from taking the lead on the conversation.
This is a particularly big sign if you’re in a group of people and they’re leaning in towards you. According to Science of People, this is a telltale sign that they’re interested in you and want to engage with you.
11) She asks bizarre questions.
If you think she’s just a strange girl who has strange interests, think again: she might be asking those weird questions of you because she really does want to know more about you.
Disguised in cute and funny questions, she will want to know as much as she can so she can feel closer to you.
Don’t be put off by the way the questions come up, she’s trying to connect with you in a different way than most people do.
12) She doesn’t block her body with her hands or arms.
Wondering if she likes you after all of that? If you find she’s not closed off to you and she is opening her posture in your direction, she’s into you.
According to clinical sexologist and author Dr. Dawn Michael:
“When a woman is intrigued by you, her body will let you know – and not how you think. She will posture her body in a way that is facing you in an open position, uncross her arms, switch her legs if they are crossed, and turn in your direction.”
She won’t cross her arms, and she won’t hide her body when she is talking to you.
In fact, she’ll likely be leaning into you as she talks to you and even more so when she laughs at all those bad jokes of yours.
Don’t take all this information for granted, make sure you are doing something about all the signals she’s giving you and ask her out!
13) She finds her way to you.
Regardless of where you are in a room, she will move in your direction.
Whether by instinct or because she can see you standing there, you’ll soon find her standing right in front of you looking into your eyes and making your day even better.
14) She seems shy and nervous around you.
If she is waiting for you to carry the conversation or she isn’t giving up a lot of information about her, it might be because she is shy.
But if she keeps hanging around and isn’t walking away, it’s because she likes you and is trying to find her comfort level around you.
15) She’s trying to deflect comments about the relationship between you.
When your buddies make jokes about the two of you hooking up, she deflects the comments rapidly.
She laughs and turns red and you can tell she is embarrassed that people can see her affection toward you. It’s not that she doesn’t like you. It’s that she can’t believe people can see she likes you!
16) She asks a lot of questions about you and your life.
She’s into you if she is asking you lots of follow up questions and digging into your life. She wants to know everything about you and doesn’t want to miss a detail.
If you aren’t used to girls taking an interest in you, don’t let the interest freak you out.
17) She asks you to hang out but insists it’s not a date.
If she asks you to hang out, don’t be alarmed when she makes it clear that this isn’t a date. It’s just her way of trying to control the situation because she is totally into you and is trying to play it cool.
It’s coming out all wrong, so just give her some space and go along with her plan until she realizes that she is totally into you.
18) She keeps touching you.
Whether you are alone or with other people, her hand finds its way to your arm, shoulder, hand, hair, face – she is always looking for some reason to be near you and touch you.
She likes you. Don’t mistake her touching for intimate friendship. Friends don’t have to touch each other that much.
19) She is trying to impress you.
She goes out of her way to make sure you know she is doing awesome things, has an awesome life, and looks great when she leaves the house.
She wants you to see how great she is and is making a real effort to be seen by you when you are around her.
20) She asks about you when you aren’t around.
If you don’t get to see her for a while, don’t be surprised when a friend says she was asking about you. She likes you when she has to tap your buddy on the shoulder and inquire to your whereabouts. It’s not weird. It’s awesome.
Plus, an added bonus is that if you aren’t around all the time, she’ll miss you more, which makes her like you more. You must be doing something right!
Dating is tough. It can be even tougher if you are spending the whole time trying to figure out if she likes you are not.
There are a myriad of ways to tell if someone is into you, but a few key actions and behaviors will tell you for sure.
Wondering if she is into you? Pay attention to whether or not your girl is doing these things on a regular basis.
You can tell she likes you without asking, but the best way to tell if she likes you? Tell her you like her and see what she says.