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How to tell if someone likes you: 15 surprising signs!

I don’t need to tell you that it’s incredibly difficult to figure out whether someone likes you or not.

I’ll be honest, I’m a socially awkward person and I’ve found it virtually impossible my whole life.

But the truth is, when you do some research on human psychology, you start to realize that it’s not as complex as you might think.

So today I’m going to go through every sign that someone likes you that I’ve found from my research.

Check them out:

1) Exchange eye contact

If they’re locking eyes with you on a regular basis, then there’s a good chance they’re into you. Unless of course, you have something on your face.

If they’re a direct and forward type of person, they’ll lock eyes with you and maintain their gaze.

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They may even maintain their gaze with a smile on their face. That’s a pretty obvious sign that they’re into you.

If they’re not so direct, they may lock eyes with you then quickly look away. That’s also a good sign that they’re into you, especially if it happens repeatedly, rather than just a once-off-accidentally-look-at-you kind of thing.

According to Jack Schafer Ph.D. in Psychology Today, people look at people they like and avoid people they don’t like.

He says that elevated oxytocin levels increase mutual eye gaze and provide a sense of wellbeing and increased mutual attraction.

2) They stand taller, pull their shoulders back and suck their stomach in

This type of body language goes for both guys and girls. If you notice that they’re pulling their shoulders back and sucking their stomach in around you, then it might be that they’re into you.

After all, if they like you, then subconsciously they want to impress you. And we all intuitively know that we will look good when we have better posture.

There’s a reason people do this.

A study found that having an “expansive posture” may make you more attractive.

The researchers behind the study suggested that open posture might be more attractive because it hints at dominance, and that’s why people who stand or sit in that way appear more attractive.

This is probably going to be easiest to notice when they walk past you. Are they walking like they’re on the catwalk?

If you think they might be, then it’s fairly certain that they’re trying to impress you – even if they don’t consciously know it themselves.

3) Where are their feet pointed?

Psychologists say that this is one of the best nonverbal cues to know if someone likes you or not.

Why?

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Because when you think about it, we’re not really conscious of what our feet are doing. So where they’re positioned might indicate what our mind is thinking.

For example, when someone wants to leave a room, they may point their feet towards the door.

And if they like you, they may point their feet towards you.

If their feet are positioned away from their body, that may indicate that they are relaxed and comfortable around, which is a good sign.

“When the feet are pointed directly toward another person, this is a sign of attraction, or at the very least, genuine interest.” – Vanessa Van Edwards in Huffington Post

4) Is their body facing towards you?

In the same vein, if their body is consistently facing towards you, then that may be a good sign that they’re into you.

Just like our feet, we subconsciously turn our body towards what we’re interested in and what we’re comfortable with.

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So keep an eye out for where their body and feet are positioned in relation to you.

If they’re talking to you without moving their body towards you, then that may not be a good sign that they’re into you.

5) How do they respond to touch?

According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, “women may lightly touch the arm of the person they are talking to. This light touch is not an invitation to a sexual encounter; it merely indicates she likes you.”

This may be the same for a man as well – either putting their arm around her shoulder or even a playful punch.

Another indicator that someone likes you is if they start preening you. Preening means fixing a piece of your clothing or picking off lint off your clothes.

This obviously means they’re comfortable around you and they’re comfortable with touching you.

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Now one technique you can use to see if they do actually like you or not is to lightly touch them on the arm and then to see how they respond.

If they’re comfortable and move closer to you, that’s a great sign that they like you.

If they quickly pull away and look almost embarrassed when you touch them, then that may be a sign that they’re not that comfortable with you.

Keep in mind that if they pull away, it doesn’t explicitly suggest that they don’t like you. It might be that they’re just not a touchy-feely person.

6) They blush around you

Blushing is developing a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment or shame.

It’s common to blush when you receive an unexpected compliment or you like someone.

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When you are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red.

According to behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards in Huffington Post, “this actually mimics the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It’s an evolutionary process to attract the opposite sex”.

Interestingly, this is why red is known as the sexy color.

So if they’re looking slightly red in the face when they’re around you, that could be a good sign that they’re attracted to you.

7) Their pupils dilate

This one is a little more difficult to notice, but experts suggest that dilated pupils are a sign of attraction.

Body language expert Patti Wood told Cosmopolitan, “Dilation is a brain response that occurs when you like and are attracted to something,”

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Keep in mind that if the lights are dim, then their pupils will naturally dilate.

8) They are copying your body language and slang

This is a pretty big indicator that someone is into you. It’s something we all do subconsciously when we’re trying to build rapport and impress someone.

Jane McGonigal, Ph.D. told Big Think that “mirroring” suggests that you’re compatible with someone, personally or professionally.

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Here’s what to look out for:

  • Are they copying your hand gestures? If you use your hands when you speak, are they suddenly doing something similar?
  • Do you talk slow or fast? Are they starting to mirror you with the speed at which you talk?
  • If they like you, they’ll also copy the words you use as well. For example, if you use a particular sort of slang, they might start to use the same slang.

If they do any of these, then there’s a good chance that they like you.

9) They’re preening themselves

We mentioned preening before, but in this case, I’m referring to fixing their own clothes or hair when they’re around you.

After all, if they want to impress you, then they want to look good!

According to Helen E. Fisher in Psychology Today, preening is used as a way to draw attention to the whom they’re attracted to.

“Young women begin the attention-getting phase with many of the same maneuvers that men use—smiling, gazing, shifting, swaying, preening, stretching, moving in their territory to draw attention to themselves.”

10) They lean in and tilt their head

We all lean in when we want to show that we’re engaged.

This is a particularly big sign if you’re in a group of people and they’re leaning in towards you.  According to Science of People, this is a telltale sign that they’re interested in you and want to engage with you.

On the other hand, if they around looking around the room, or over your head, then this may indicate a lack of interest and sensitivity.

11) They’re visibility nervous around you

It goes without saying that we all get nervous or shy around someone that we like. This is because we want to make a good impression so we start to put pressure on ourselves.

Remember that this is probably more relevant in the early stages of attraction when you don’t know each other that well.

So, how can you tell whether someone is visibly nervous?

According to Business Insider, there are seven signs to look for to tell if someone is nervous:

  1. They touch their face.
  2. They blink more frequently.
  3. They compress their lips.
  4. They play with their hair (also a sign of preening, mentioned above)
  5. They contort their hands
  6. They rub their hands.
  7. They yawn excessively.

So if they’re showing these signs around you, it might be that they like you and they’re feeling nervous around you.

Once they become more comfortable around you, those nerves should start to dissipate.

12) Changes in personality

Subtle changes in personality are a surefire way to tell whether someone likes you. On the other hand, it may also indicate the opposite.

Of course, this is going to be more relevant to you if you know them, rather than it being a first-time meeting. If you know them, you’ll be able to get a baseline of how they usually act.

But once you have a baseline, here’s what to look out for when you’re with them:

  • Are they more bubbly and enthusiastic when they’re around you? Does their energy increase? This is a great sign that they’re excited to be around you.
  • Are they less enthusiastic than you’ve seen them with other people? This is a bad sign unless they’re nervous and shy around you.
  • Are they treating you differently to other people? Are they touching you more than they touch others? If so, this is an indicator that they are comfortable around you and you’ve got a solid rapport with them. Again, this is a good sign that they like you.

13) Their friends already know about you

If their friends already know about you before you’ve met them, that’s a great sign that they’ve been talking about you.

You wouldn’t talk about someone you’re not interested in. It means you’ve become a significant part of their life and they’re at least intrigued by you.

And this makes sense. When someone is in love, they can’t stop thinking about that person, so it’s likely they’ll talk about them to their friends.

In the book “The Anatomy of Love,” by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, she says that “thoughts of the ‘love object’ begin to invade your mind. …You wonder what your beloved would think of the book you are reading, the movie you just saw, or the problem you are facing at the office.”

14) They’re paying attention to you

In a similar vein to eye contact above, if they’re giving you their undivided attention and they’re relishing the time you two have together, then that’s a great sign that they’re enjoying spending time with you and they’re engaged.

According to Jack Schafer Ph.D. in Psychology Today, not only will you have their attention, but they’ll also remove barriers between the two of you:

“People who like each remove any obstacles between them. People who don’t like the person they are with often place barriers between themselves and the person they don’t like.”

Of course, on the other hand, if they’re distracted by their phone or they’re not really present when they’re around you, or they’re creating barriers between the two of you that may not be a good sign – unless of course, they’re shy or nervous if it’s the beginning of your potential romance.

15) They get flustered when you’re talking to another potential competitor

Jealously can be a sign of attraction, according to Bustle.

So if they are acting weird, flustered or angry when you’re talking with someone else, that could be a sign of jealousy.

They may glance over multiple times to check out how the conversation going.

If you see them after, they may ask you about the conversation.

The facto of the matter is if they’re intrigued like this about the conversation you just had, then that may be jealous because they like you.

Keep in mind that this may also spur them into action and ask you out. But it may also do the opposite, where they think they’re no longer a chance. If that’s the case, you may want to single your intentions sooner rather than later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***Do you want to be a stronger person? Do you want to stare down your challenges and overcome any obstacles? If so, check out our eBook: The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Mental Toughness.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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