Remember plucking petals from a daisy and using it as a love oracle?
“He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not…”
While this was fun in fourth grade, as an adult you may be wondering if there’s a more definitive way to figure out a man’s feelings about you.
Obviously, every man is different and there’s no set of parameters that will fit every person. However, psychologists have narrowed certain signs and behaviors that men often exhibit when they’ve fallen in a forever kind of love.
So, let’s dive into some of these behaviors of a man in love to help you know what to look for.
Is he a lock, or should you keep looking?
1) He’s an open book with you
Many men have been brought up believing that expressing feelings or sharing their problems is somehow “unmanly.”
But if a guy’s in love with you, he’s more apt to start letting these walls down. According to relationship experts, opening up is a significant sign that he trusts you and wants to connect with you on more than a superficial level.
A man who’s in love with you might also approach you for advice about personal issues. This could run the gamut from what shirt to buy to dealing with a difficult sibling.
2) He loves you “as is”
If you truly love someone, you accept all that they are, warts and all. If your man has seen you “hangry” or down with the flu and he’s still hanging around, we’re gonna put that one in the “W” column.
If a guy’s in love with you he appreciates the authentic you and has no desire to change that. He still wants you to evolve in life, of course. But a guy who’s in love and will probably stay that way understands that the real deal includes embracing the good and the not-so-good.
3) Your quirks are endearing to him
No wonder it’s taking forever to find true love. There aren’t many guys that can recite every Monty Python sketch with 99.9% accuracy.
Someday …
But anyway, when a guy thinks your odd or weird quirks are simply adorable you’ve hit the jackpot. When your man accepts you unconditionally and even gets a giggle from your unique brand of goofiness that’s a pretty good indication that dude’s in love with you.
4) Active listening
When you’re regaling your man with the latest deets from the neighbor’s feud take note of how he responds.
Are his eyes glazed over as he silently hopes to be hit by a stray asteroid, or is he nodding like a bobblehead doll and asking you clarifying questions?
That’s what psychologists call active listening.
If this man’s in love, it won’t matter how long you’ve been talking or how mind-numbingly dull your story is. He’s there for it.
That’s because listening to what you say helps him know and understand you more. Not all men are going to come right out and say “I’d like to learn more about you.”
But if he’s showing genuine interest, that’s your first clue that he’s invested in every word you say.
5) The Royal “We”
If a guy perceives you as a friend or if you’ve recently started dating, he’ll most likely use the singular first person pronoun “I” to describe his experiences, as opposed to couple statements including “we” that imply both of you are together romantically.
When–or if–he makes the switch to using “we” statements, it could signal that he’s visualizing a future that includes you in it.
6) He’s there for you
If something messes up in your life, be it a minor inconvenience to a major disaster, who’s the first person you’re going to turn to?
If the man in question is always available to provide help and support, no matter how much of an inconvenience it is (a lift to the airport at 4 am, perhaps?) he’s probably emotionally attached to you.
Men in love get a charge from coming to their partner’s rescue, which is rather cute.
7) Your priorities are his priorities
If a man is in love with you for keeps, he’ll find a way to show up for you no matter how hectic his life is.
For example, he’ll take a raincheck with the guys to take care of you when you’re sick or even just had a rough day at work.
If you’re applying for a better job, he’ll go out of his way to be supportive and assist the process any way he can, from brushing up your resume to giving you a ride to a job interview.
You get the idea.
8) He has faith in you
Is your man your biggest cheerleader? Does he pick you up when you’re down, or quick to forgive minor transgressions?
Then that guy just might be in love with you forever.
When a man’s in love he tends to see his partner’s best qualities before their weaknesses. He knows your value, probably better than you do.
He believes you have the ability to accomplish anything because you’re just that incredible.
And the great thing is that he’ll always be proud of you, during your high points and your low ones.
This doesn’t necessarily mean the guy’s got you on a pedestal. How boring would that be? But he’ll always find the most positive spin on your character, which is sweet without being delusional. Hopefully.
9) He sees you as his future
When a guy is serious about his relationship, he can’t imagine life without his partner. So when he’s planning his future, he’s counting you in.
So if he says stuff along the lines of “Let’s take a trip to Italy one day and never come back” or “Next time we move we’re buying not renting,” chances are good he’s envisioning a future with you by his side.
10) Meets you in the middle
A healthy dynamic between any couple involves compromise and reciprocity. It’s like a beautiful dance where you and your partner take turns leading.
For example, say your guy isn’t a big fan of talking on the phone, but he happily makes an exception in your case because you prefer calls over texts.
If he’s happy to modify his habits for your comfort and pleasure, I’d say you’ve got yourself a keeper.
Final thoughts
Obviously, the easiest way to know for sure if a man loves you is if they inform you of such things organically.
Or, if you’re not really the patient type, you could always ask him. Just flat out ask him.
Sounds horrific to you?
Does investing years into a relationship with a guy who’s not interested in anything serious sound less horrific?
We’re not in high school anymore. It’s OK to be honest and upfront with our partners so no one is wasting their time.
