When you’re in love with someone sex can be much more than “just sex.”
Do you know what I mean?
You feel a deep connection and profound energy flow between you and your lover.
It’s that earth-shattering, nerve pulsing, full-on expression of desire that transcends the purely physical world.
Sometimes we can feel completely into making love with our partner but can be hard to know if he is experiencing the same level of connection.
It’s easy to be blind-sighted by the intensity of strong sexual chemistry.
Are you wondering if he feels a connection as deeply as you do?
Are you are worried that he is using you for sex and chasing time between the sheets?
Don’t worry. We’ve all faced this question in our relationships.
The truth is, how a man behaves in bed mirrors his overall respect and intentions toward you, so it’s extremely important to understand what’s going on.
Keep reading for the 30 biggest signs that he’s really into making love to you and that it’s more than “just sex” for him, too. Let’s jump right in.
1) Eye contact
“There’s a huge difference in sex and making love. We have sex with someone who can satisfy us physically, but we make love to someone who can satisfy us soulfully and eternally. Once you realize the fine line between making love and having sex, you will understand the meaning of life! Life isn’t only about survival, it’s about living and so is making love.” ( – Mehek Bassi )
If your man holds eye contact and meets your gaze with gusto, then there’s a clear sign that the sex is on another level for him, too.
When he looks into your eyes as he makes love to you, he’s showing his deep appreciation and connection with you and also responding to your expression with his lovemaking.
When he avoids eye contact it can be a sign that he’s shy in some cases.
But it can also mean you’re mostly just an intimate encounter for him, or that he’s imagining someone else, and the sex doesn’t mean much more to him than a path to his next orgasm.
2) He focuses on giving
A partner who truly is into you will genuinely care about your pleasure and he will focus on giving you the maximum amount that you can both handle.
He will react intuitively and intentionally to your desires and give generously to make you climax and relish your time together.
He will go down on you, be tender and gentle with your body, massage you, kiss you passionately, rev it all up, and want to know what works best for you.
He’ll change his speed and pressure, care about what you like: he will moan, and speak, and give sounds of pleasure to show he likes it, too.
The fellow who feels for you will care about your physical pleasure and act accordingly.
He won’t just be a racehorse galloping for the finish line. If you pay attention, to who’s needs he puts first, you can immediately notice the difference.
3) Kisses for miles
Kissing someone you don’t care about can feel kind of blah. It’s just … nothing.
It is a bond that is as deep and unique as the individual, unlike any other feeling in the world. It is as impossible to describe and explain in order words, as it is to articulate how you can’t live without it.
Kissing is one of the closest ways we can bond and communicate our feelings with someone new.
You can tell if someone is feeling playful, turned on, and into sex by how they kiss you and where they lay their lips.
Kissing someone you care about and love can feel like you just won the mega jackpot lottery.
It can charge up your whole body.
You get lost in it and feel tremors pulsate through your whole body.
4) He wants to do it again — and again
When your guy is making love to you and wants you on a level beyond the physical realm of sex, he will kiss you frequently on your lips and all over your body, and make love again and again.
He will enjoy the experience of being with you and make it last as long as he can. Likely he will fall asleep with you and want to do it again when you wake up.
He will feel an insatiable hunger to express himself with his body.
There’s affectionate, intimate foreplay, kissing, touching, and all sorts of closeness before the main act.
He will worship you with his lips, showing his desire and his intensity of emotions for you.
It’s hard to miss the difference between a quick peck and a deep kiss: you’ll know. And the more he comes back, the more he is feeling deeply connected to you.
5) Next-level pillow talk
If your man is open and expressive after making love it’s.a clear sign that he enjoys having sex with you.
One of the best parts of making love is the emotional connection and the conversations that take place on the pillow, especially after sex.
It’s a well-known stereotype that guys just want to sleep after sex and don’t usually like pillow talk much.
But the truth is, when their depleted testosterone levels return to a state of normalcy, they will be flooded with oxytocin and want to bond more closely with you.
When they are into their lover, many men enjoy talking to their lover after sex.
Topics can get very deep and personal, and build the connection you have. Opening up and expressing fears, feelings, and vulnerability is a sign that enjoys the deep connection that he feels with you.
6) You will feel like you can open up to him, too.
This next-level pillow talk is a sign that you’ve been making love, not just having sex. If he enjoys having sex with you, he will also be open to knowing how you feel and what you want to say.
After sex, a man who is into you will take his time with you. He won’t be rushing off to a meeting or to meet up with his friends.
He’ll give you a chance to be in his world, in his arms, in a lingering moment with him, and let you open up to him.
Just like you, your man wants to savor your time together and build up the anticipation. You mean more to him than only release: you’re a person he truly cares about and relishes his time with.
He’ll take his time because he enjoys every pleasurable interaction with you, not only the sex.
7) He’s vulnerable and shows his emotions
There are special moments that occur before, during, and after lovemaking that open up new frontiers in your relationships.
Old traumas and triumphs can emerge, emotions rush to the surface, laughter and tears spring up.
These are all healthy and clear signs of a man who is making love to you is connecting with you on a deep emotional level.
You’ll be able to feel it when he’s opening up to you: he bares his soul and invites you to bare your soul.
It’s risky and raw, but all real lovemaking is exactly that.
But this kind of bond, no matter how strong, can be full of disappointment and deception.
Experiences like feeling deeply connected and then quickly discarded are enough to make you give up on love for good.
When we don’t fully trust ourselves and the person we are with, we can easily mistake their feelings and fall into toxic ways of relating.
I want to suggest that you hang on for just a moment longer.
In fact, I want to suggest a solution.
I came across some practical and useful tools from the modern-day Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about sex and intimacy are part of what traps us in things like distrust, fear, worry, and anxiety.
As Rudá explains in this transformational video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.
The alternative is to fool ourselves into thinking that we finally found the one who truly understands us and can make us happy.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a different way to think about my connections.
While watching, I felt like someone understood the misunderstandings I’ve had in my relationships and finally offered an actual, practical solution to finding the best way to open to a deep love and intimacy with another being.
8) Say my name, say my name
Another big sign that your partner enjoys making love to you and feels a deep connection with you, is that he will say your name often, especially during lovemaking.
If he feels close to you, he will want to emphasize your intimacy, show that he cares about you and that you are not just in some physical activity.
He will say your name to call you towards him.
He will say your name to make you feel like you are his.
He will whisper your name, moan it, shout it.
He’s into you.
Return the favor by saying his name, too.
9) He doesn’t want to leave
A man who enjoys making love to you will never want to leave your side and will be happy to return when you are apart.
If you’ve been with a guy who’s not serious at all you know the feeling: the sex reaches a crescendo and finishes and before you can count to three the guy is doing a kind of stop, drop and roll out of bed and putting on his shoes.
Well … bye.
The feeling can be distasteful like you’ve just been used like a product, or service, or something.
When a guy’s into you he doesn’t have to fake wanting to stay. He’ll stick around and chat, make some food, share a cup of tea with you or watch a movie.
Simple: he wasn’t just there for the sex, he was making love as part of his overall love for you.
And if he does have to leave, he will quickly find a way back to you.
10) He doesn’t hide the depth of his desire for you
If a man enjoys making love to you, he will feel free and let loose.
He will enjoy experimenting with you and feeling playful around you. He will have a coy smile and enthusiasm about him.
He’ll make noises, thrust deeply, cradle you in his arms. He won’t try to hide how deeply he’s into you.
He won’t be self-conscious, detached, or robotic. He will be authentic, perhaps even a little nervous or overly excited, and honest.
He’ll be fully with you, present, engaged, and on fire with physical and emotional desire.
Watch for it and you’ll know.
11) The look of love
When you’re trying to assess if the sex is “just sex,” sometimes appearances can tell you a great deal. There is a look to love.
After you make love, glance at your man.
Is he avoidant, nervous, all locked up like a stone statue?
Or is he glowing, satisfied, relaxed, looking at you, seeking further connection with you?
Does he reach for his phone?
After real lovemaking with a woman he cares about, a man will be more connected to you, not less connected.
He will have enhanced what’s already there between you in terms of the connection rather than pumped and dumped.
12) He’s open to new things with you and exploring fantasies
If a man enjoys having sex with you, he will be open with you about what turns him on.
Sometimes a guy will suggest a threesome or kinky sex act because he’s using you: he just wants to have you as a springboard to further phallic adventures and curiosities.
But there’s a difference between that and him being open to experimentation, and will also want to know what you might suggest for the two of you.
Whether that’s trying out new toys, oils, positions, roleplaying, or other fantasies, this topic will be more of a conversation than a demand or a request.
Especially if he’s a fairly reserved or traditional guy, his openness with you to trying out new things is a good indicator that he wants to do what you like and that he’s excited by what excites you – because he cares for you on a fundamental, loving level.
13) He calls after
One of the flashing signs that say his lovemaking with you was all that and more is when he calls after to see how you are.
He will want to keep the connection going on.
And not just to schedule your next sweat session between the sheets.
He calls to chat, to ask how your day is going, to invite you for a coffee or dinner. He calls because he’s feeling connected to you.
Listen for the warmth in his voice. That will tell you what you need to know.
14) He wants a second round
If a man wants to repeat what he just experienced, it’s a good sign that he enjoys making love to you.
Especially if he has an intense orgasm, a man may feel drained and roll over to sleep.
That’s not necessarily insulting and it can be a good sign that he’s enjoyed himself.
However, eventually, when he’s really into you there’s a good chance he’ll still kiss you more after, want to cuddle, and eventually get hard again and want more.
If he’s reaching for round two soon after the first round you can make a good bet that the sex has reached a new level beyond just the physical for him, too.
15) He comments on more than just your looks
If a man is taken by your beauty, and lets you know, it’s a clear sign that he enjoys sex with you and finds you unbearably attractive.
There is nothing wrong with physical beauty and physical attraction.
It’s beautiful and wonderful and makes the world an incredible place.
When he recognizes your physical beauty and his attraction to you and your body that’s perfectly fine and a deep part of your lovemaking experience.
But when you notice that he’s also very focused on the things about you and your unique life experience, energy, and self that he loves you can be assured he’s making love to you at the deepest level.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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16) He’s respectful when you don’t want sex
It’s entirely reasonable to not always be in the mood for sex. Sometimes guys don’t respond well to this when you tell them, however.
But the guy who wants to make love to you and truly loves your time together won’t react like an angry bear.
He’ll nod in a relaxed way and be completely understanding.
His affection for you won’t dim even 1%. And the next time you make love he’ll enjoy it just as much, without any expectations or obligations put on you.
17) He’s relaxed and opens around you
A guy who enjoys making love will feel relaxed and at ease around you.
When he’s not stuck inside his head and can let his heart – and body – do the talking.
When he’s relaxed around you and open and feels at ease, like he can really be himself, it’s a sign that your lovemaking is hitting home for him.
His body language will be easygoing and confident. He will say what’s on his mind and heart and speak candidly. He will feel like he is showing his true self.
His touch will be caressing and sure, seeking out your most intimate places and comforting and stimulating you beyond your wildest imagination.
18) He tells you he loved it
If a man tells you that he loved having sex with you, it’s a clear sign that he enjoyed it. Believe it.
This one is the most obvious, but it’s often a bit confusing.
That’s because some guys who just want sex will say they loved or enjoyed being with you and not mean it. Or the feeling can be so overwhelming that they don’t want to admit it.
When a man means it you’ll be able to tell. He’ll look you in the eyes, he’ll go in for a kiss, he’ll caress your face.
He’ll call you soon after with a heartfelt conversation or a loving message.
He’ll let you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your lovemaking was special to him and made a real impression on his heart.
19) He kisses your forehead
If he stops in the middle of sex to kiss you on the forehead, this is a sign of profound emotional connection.
There is nothing more comforting and safe than the feeling of his lips right above your eyes.
It’s a scientific fact that the sensation of someone’s lips on your forehead stimulates a chemical release that triggers feelings of bliss, enjoyment, and satisfaction.
Right above your eyes is said to be the gateway to your soul and if he is making an effort to gently kiss your third eye during sex, he’s beyond into you.
20) He holds your hands
If a man holds your hands while you have sex, it’s a sign that he enjoys making love and feels a strong sense of unity.
If he reaches for your hands and doesn’t release them until after you both climax, he is showing you that he is present and entirely at the moment with you.
He is taking charge, locking eyes as he moves deeply with you, and he isn’t letting you go.
When we intertwine our fingers with someone else’s, it is a gesture that suggests “being one”.
Our hands and our inner wrists, believe it or not, are erogenous zones that are extremely sensitive to touch.
Hand holding also releases oxytocin, the “love hormone”, so this subtle but meaningful action will trigger his intense feelings for you.
21) He holds you afterward
When a man. holds you tenderly after sex, it’s a clear sign that he enjoys making love to you on a deep level.
There is nothing more off-putting than having a man jump right out of bed after making love to clean himself up, grab a glass of water, or worse, check his phone.
(Ladies, if he does this last one, please, please, say “goodnight and goodbye” soon).
If a man not only stays with you in bed but holds you closely afterward, this is a true sign that the sex for him is way more than “just sex”.
He is attempting to keep the level of intimacy strong by holding you near his body. He is showing you that he doesn’t want to let you go.
22) He shares his fantasies
If a man feels deeply connected to you and enjoys sex with you, he will willingly open up about his sexual fantasies.
Men often will ask a woman about her fantasies or what her favorite position is. But, rarely do men reciprocate their fantasies and feel comfortable being vulnerable.
Men can be super shy when it comes to sex or taboo topics.
If a man is sharing sexual fantasies with you, especially ones he hasn’t shared with anyone else, he is trusting you, and trust is the first step towards real intimacy.
As Dr. Jennice Vilhauer writes:
“Being vulnerable feels like you are exposing yourself, and it’s what opens you up most to the possibility of being hurt, but it is also what allows someone to get to know the real you and develop that sense of closeness”.
In being vulnerable, he is letting you know that you are someone he wants to (s)explore with and experience a deeper level of sexual and emotional connection.
23) He does his research
If a man is taking time to learn more about sex and intimacy, it’s a clear sign that he is feeling deeply connected to you.
When it comes to sex, the nerdier a man is, the better. Meaning, he does his research and homework.
If a man is really into you emotionally and physically, he is going to listen.
He is going to ask for your feedback and he is going to try, try, try again until he gets every touch, movement, and kiss right.
If your partner shows up to your love-making sessions wanting to learn what satisfies you, this is not “just sex” for him. Pleasuring you is his mission.
He is there to learn and graduate with honors.
24) He is in sync with your breath
Nothing says you two are connected on a sensual and spiritual level, more than when you notice your breathing is in rhythm during sex.
If a man is inhaling and exhaling at the same pace as you, or you begin to inhale on his exhale, this is synchronized breathing and the beginning of tantric sex. In other words, sacred sexuality is where two bodies are woven into one.
When this happens, it is magic and the goal of all sex goals!
When a couple begins to breathe in sync, a form of sexual meditation begins to take place.
This is no longer about reaching climax. It is about the entire pleasurable and erotic journey that you two are taking together.
25) He’s down to get down
If a man takes care of all your sexual needs, he is enjoying making love to you.
Let’s face it – most guys like getting head. The sad part, however, is not a lot of them like returning the favor.
A guy who enjoys making love to you, however, will gladly do this. You don’t even have to ask for it!
It’s obvious – he wants you to enjoy the experience just like the way he does. For him, it’s pointless if you don’t achieve the ultimate height of pleasure.
Apart from this, a guy who loves making love will have many other reasons to go down:
- He finds it hot to see you writhing in ecstasy.
- It builds anticipation. No one likes to go from start to finish!
- It gives him time to recharge – while getting you ready – for the ‘draining’ activity that will follow. *Wink wink*
- It fuels his ego – he made you come, after all!
26) He’s slow yet passionate
When a man takes his time with you in bed, it’s a sign that he is enjoying the experience with you and wants to savor it.
While it’s fun to go fast, a guy who loves making love will make it a point to take things slow.
Slow sex, after all, allows him to spend more time with you. Better yet, it gives you – and him – a bigger opportunity to savor every moment of pleasure.
In an interview, Dr. Kate Balestrieri explained the benefits of slow sex: “Sure, you can feel things during fast sex, but during slower sex, there is more time for your brain to process the experience of each sensation.”
She adds, “So, it’s as if you feel more. Sex is a multi-sensory experience, and when you slow it down, you can savor more of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches.”
All in all, this slow and passionate pace allows him to:
- Connect with you more through sustained eye contact. As I’ve mentioned, this longing gaze is a way for him to show his appreciation for the intimacy you both share.
- Touch you lightly. According to Dr. Balestrieri, slow touching can ignite a passion unlike any other!
- Tease you. Psychology-wise, teasing lets him know how much you want him. He loves seeing how much you yearn for his manhood.
- Make everything last longer. Who doesn’t want to prolong a blissful experience? As Dr. Balestrieri puts it, slow sex is an adventure instead of a performance. As such, it creates more space for him to explore your body, likes, and expressions.
- Improve the orgasm. By slowing the pace, his body – and yours – get to relax fully. This, in turn, opens pleasure spots – thus leading the way for a more intense climax.
27) He’ll bring you to the edge
If a man isn’t afraid to bring you to your ultimate edge of pleasure and then hold back to see if you are ready for more, he is deeply enjoying the sexual bond you share.
Has he done something so intimate and arousing that you’re about to lose it – literally?
This edging – a form of orgasm control – is just one of the many telltale signs that he adores your lovemaking sessions.
With edging, he brings you near the point of no return – before pulling everything back. He repeats this until you’re ready to succumb to pleasure.
While most view this as a power play, it can’t be denied that it does have a profound effect on the overall experience.
According to Dr. Balestrieri, “Doing this over and over can extend sexual intimacy and send never imagined waves of pleasure throughout the body.”
28) He’s into tantric sex
If he is exploring deeper levels of intimacy with you through tantric sex practices, a man is thoroughly enjoying the deep bond that you both share.
Although the term tantra is often linked with sex, it means something more. It’s all about creating a deeper connection with you, his partner.
Tantra, to begin with, is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘to weave.’
That said, don’t be surprised if he leans towards tantric sex. After all, it’s about transcending the spiritual realm through intimate and meditative lovemaking.
And why not? Tantra helps him become more in-tune with his body. He gets to understand how it feels pleasure better.
This, in turn, helps him pay better attention to your needs and wants. A guy who loves making love to you will want to fulfill your desires every time – all the time.
Tantric sex is not just for his benefit, though. Since it channels both of your energies, you get to experience a more intense climax.
If you want to achieve this tantric pleasure, you need to:
- Prepare your mind by focusing on breathwork, stretching, and some journaling
- Prepare your space by setting the mood – candles, comfy temperature, a romantic vibe – the works!
- Let the intensity build!
- Breath deeply and synchronize this with your partner.
- Focus on your sensations – all of them. Don’t let your mind wander off to a far-flung place!
- Allow yourself to enjoy a whole bevy of emotions.
29) He finishes ‘differently’
If a man magnetizes towards you after reaching his maximum release, it’s a clear sign he enjoys feeling deeply connected to you.
A guy who wants to feel goodwill just pants, gasps, and writhe in pleasure.
But if he enjoys making love to you, he’ll pull you close – and wrap himself around you – as he reaches his climax. It’s a sign of deeper intimacy when compared to men whose only aim is to finish.
As mentioned, you can thank the hormone oxytocin for this warm and fuzzy sensation. True to its moniker ‘love hormone,’ it helps bring about feelings of well-being and contentment.
The act of intimate lovemaking brings more than just mental relaxation though It can also lead to a variety of health benefits, such as:
- Decreased stress
- Improved sleep
- Lesser pain and bouts of incontinence
- A longer lifespan!
30) He’s not afraid to laugh
If a man isn’t afraid to laugh and be a bit goofy in bed it’s a sign that he feels like himself around you and enjoys the experience with you.
Lovemaking is fun, but sometimes it can get funny. No one’s perfect – anybody can mess up in the middle of the process.
That’s where you’ll see if he enjoys being with you – or if he’s just there for the physicality of it all.
You know a man enjoys making love with you when he freely laughs at booboos – whether it’s his or yours.
It’s not just during the laughable parts of the deed, though. He maintains this same positive attitude right after.
While you may take this in offense, you shouldn’t. It’s an obvious sign that he’s just too darn comfortable with you. He’s secure enough that what most deem as embarrassing – is just plain funny to him.
His constant laughs may also be his way to break some tension. No one likes being in an uptight situation, after all.
It’s clear that he enjoys it, but do you?
If you notice that you and your partner are experiencing these signs of connection, stop looking for additional hints that he enjoys making love to you.
He doesn’t need to say or do anything else to convince you. His mind and his body are saying it loud and clear.
This is not just a simple attraction for him and not “just sex”. He thoroughly enjoys making love to you and his intention is to continue doing so.
But this begs the question:
Do you enjoy sex with him?
Most women who are looking for the signs that their man deeply loves her and wants her are seeking out a deep sense of love and a true commitment from their partners.
They want to know that they have been fully accepted and loved by their man.
They are no longer willing to settle for anything less and want truth, honesty, and trust.
But how can we gain this sort of reassurance from someone else?
Sex, even deeply connected intimacy, always involves a sense of risk. Feelings, desires, and intentions can quickly change.
When you are facing this sort of uncertainty and fear, you have two choices:
- You can look for cues that he’s enjoying sex and wait for him to express how good and close he feels to you.
- You can build your confidence in yourself and let fill your sense of sexual empowerment, so that every time you have you have it fully, with enjoyment, and without any reservations.
The most important question to ask yourself when you are wondering if a man is enjoying sex with you, is how are you feeling about yourself?
The more confident and secure you feel with yourself, and your ability to sexually connect, the more you will give off a magnetized and sexually charged. aura.
When you feel so go about yourself, your man will feel the same draw and want to be closer.
The answer to feeling a vibrant and thriving sexual connection is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.
I learned about this key piece of advice from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, sex, and connection, and become truly empowered.
As Rudá explains in this thought-provoking video, intimacy is not what many of us think it is.
Many of us are self-sabotaging our sex and love lives and taking on toxic encounters.
We need to face the facts about the insecurities we have when sexually expressing ourselves.
Far too often we chase an idealized image of what we think a hot and heavy, connected, love-making session should feel like.
Far too often, we are on shaky ground with ourselves, and how we are relating with our lovers, and this carries over into relationships that can quickly feel like hell on earth.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a new way to think intimacy and offered some simple and practical solutions.
If you’re done with unsatisfying relationships, hot and confusing sex, frustrating confusion, and having your hopes for feeling deeply connected with a partner dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
The more you can come to love yourself, the more this vibrancy will reflect into your relationships and take your sensual encounters to another level.
I invite you to explore and feel the difference.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder