We all know that actions speak louder than words. Yet when we’ve fallen for someone, we can’t help but anxiously wait for them to say “those three words.”
If, after a few months, our man hasn’t verbally declared their undying love for us, we start to question their true feelings.
However, we’re often so focused on what they are (or aren’t, in this case) saying that we miss many non-verbal signs that show our partner is smitten!
So, if you’ve got yourself tangled in a web of uncertainty because your man hasn’t said he loves you yet, relax.
Tune into how he acts around you, and you may just realize that he has fallen head over heels without even realizing it himself.
Let’s start with sign number one to look out for…
1) You talk about your future together
If your man is nowhere near the love stage, he will likely exclude you when discussing the future, using “I” instead of “we.”
He will also seem disinterested or awkward about making plans. Try to schedule something together in a month’s time and see how he reacts!
If you’ve noticed your man has lately been swapping “I” or “we” or is discussing long-term plans like holidays together, this is a massive sign that he has fallen for you.
2) You’ve met all his family and friends
Most guys don’t introduce casual flings to their family. So, if you have met his parents, siblings, extended family, and entire friend group, take this as your man non-verbally telling you he is in love.
Remember that not everyone is close to their family. If he has a lot of family issues or his family lives in another city or country, not yet meeting his parents may not necessarily suggest he doesn’t love you.
But if you know he is super close with his family (he speaks to and sees them regularly), yet he hasn’t invited you for a visit, this may be a cause for concern.
3) He does small things for you
Love is not seen in the big gestures like coming home with a huge bouquet of flowers or treating you to an expensive meal at a fancy restaurant.
No, instead, it is seen in the small and thoughtful yet easy-to-miss things he does for you, like:
- Making you coffee every morning (one of my personal favorite ‘I love you gestures’)
- Doing extra chores like cleaning the kitchen when you’ve had a busy or stressful day
- Bringing home your favorite chocolate bar when he knows you’re upset about something
- Asking if you need anything from the grocery store when on his way over
So, if you want to understand if your man loves you, watch for little things like these.
And while I said big gestures don’t equal love, depending on the context, they can, such as this…
4) He has made a big sacrifice for you
In my relationship, there was one pivotal moment when I knew my partner loved me.
We met in Thailand, where we spent a few blissful weeks together. However, I had a job in Cambodia lined up, so I had to leave, which put us in that “will we, won’t we see each other again” situation.
However, he made sure this uncertainty didn’t last long and took this as an opportunity to show how serious he was about me.
Can you guess what happened?
Yep, he surprised me by turning up at my hotel in Cambodia!
And like they say, the rest was history.
So, if your partner does something that makes you say, “I thought that only happens in movies,” this could be your pivotal moment for realizing your man is officially in love!
But it doesn’t have to be a fairytale moment.
Perhaps your man turns down a job offer in another city to stay close to you. Or maybe he sacrifices going to a big soccer match to attend a family event with you.
A partner who is willing to make sacrifices for you is one who loves you, and research backs this up.
Melissa Curran, a professor at the University of Arizona, has carried out research on relationship sacrifices. She found that acts of sacrifice signal an investment and continued commitment to the relationship.
5) He acts interested in the things you like
While a couple does not have to share all the same hobbies to be compatible, how much interest both partners pay to each other’s passions can determine if a relationship will last.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family examined how spending time together can impact a couple’s relationship. They found that couples who engage in both hobbies and date nights had greater satisfaction in their relationships.
So, if your man genuinely seems interested in the things you do, this is a huge sign that he loves you and wants to take the relationship to the next level.
- If you love to paint, he might ask you to show him the basics.
- If you’re an avid yogi, he might suggest coming to a class with you.
6) He makes time for you
Because he sees you as a priority.
Seriously, if a guy loves you, you won’t have to jump through hoops to spend time with him. Nor will he cancel on you multiple times because “something came up.”
I feel like this is something we all know deep down. Yet we still make excuses for the flaky guy we’ve fallen for, convincing ourselves that he does love us, but he is just super busy right now.
The truth is, if a guy is not prioritizing you, it is because he doesn’t feel strongly enough about you to do so.
7) He wants to be physically close to you
Along with wanting to spend time with you, a guy who is in love will want to be physically close to you as much as possible.
Not because he is trying to get lucky.
He sits close to you on the couch, touches your hand, and stands close to you in groups because affectionate touch is a human’s natural instinct for showing love.
A recent study on the link between affectionate touch and love proved this. The researchers studied 7880 participants from 37 countries and found that touch is indeed a universal way for humans to show their feelings.
8) You catch him staring at you often
Does your man always look up whenever you walk in the room? Do you see him sneaking glances when you’re watching a movie together? Or does he look longingly at you when you’re speaking in a group?
If you see him staring at you often, especially if accompanied by smiling to himself, this is a huge sign that your guy is so in love that he cannot focus on anything else.
But this isn’t just my theory; it’s scientifically proven.
According to a 2013 study by Henk van Steenbergen, an associate professor specializing in Cognitive Psychology, when someone falls in love, it is difficult to focus on anything other than their partner.
His study involved over 40 participants in a new relationship (for less than six months). By examining their cognitive control while they performed several tasks, Henk found the more in love a participant was, the less they could focus on that task at hand.
So, if your man keeps looking at you, it’s because he cannot get you off his mind.
So you see, sometimes a guy’s actions shout louder than any verbal declaration of love. So, instead of getting caught up waiting for those three magic words, look at how your man acts around you.
Chatting about your future together, doing sweet little things for you, clearing his schedule to spend time together – these are all signs he’s smitten. And if he’s stealing glances or constantly shuffling closer to you, his heart is most definitely doing somersaults.