“My husband left me and I still love him”: 14 tips if this is you

So your husband left you for somebody else?

Or did you make a massive mistake that ended a wonderful relationship for good?

Well, whatever the case may be, this article is for you.

Here are 14 tips for women who still love their husbands, even though they left them:

1) See the positives in living alone and do things that make you happy

Think about this for a moment:

Life without your husband is a blessing. You may have no kids, but you have all the time in the world for yourself.

I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change.

They leave behind their friends, the jobs that they love, and the happy memories from years gone by.

What they do have is their freedom:

The ability to do what they want and when they want.

And most importantly, they have the ability to be themselves and to own all the happiness that they deserve.

You deserve this too.

Once you get past the initial sadness, you will be able to take advantage of your life again.

You can meet new people, try new things, and pursue your dreams . . . all by yourself.

2) Understand the reasons behind your husband’s decision

I know your heart is broken, but you need to understand that your husband may have left because he was unhappy and wanted something better.

It might not seem this way, but maybe he just wasn’t in love with you anymore.

Trying to force him to love you again is a waste of time because that’s not how love works.

There isn’t anything you can do to change the past and make him stay with you.

I know the feeling:

The feeling that if you just change yourself then he will be happy, he’ll never leave you, and life will be wonderful.

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesn’t work that way.

Instead of focusing on yourself, try to understand what is behind his decision.

Sometimes when a person leaves, they are unhappy not because they don’t love you, but because they are hiding something.

Is he struggling with finances? Is he hiding an affair? Is he depressed and hating life?

Because you can’t fix all of these things, try to understand why he left.

3) Be patient with your husband and his remorse

No matter how much you hated your husband for leaving you, the fact is, he still loves you.

So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing.

He probably misses the way things used to be.

Let’s dig a little deeper:

What he’s regretful about is not leaving. What he’s actually regretful about is how he left, which means he probably regretted telling you.

Don’t punish him for this though, because he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Instead, be patient with him.

Let him feel remorse for a little while and give him the time to miss you and appreciate you once again.

4) Take care of yourself and don’t sabotage your happiness because you’re upset

Some women ruin their lives because they feel so heartbroken over the loss of their husbands.

Instead of moving on and doing what’s best for themselves, they take out all their anger and sadness on anyone who will listen to them.

And even worse, they ruin their own happiness in the process by doing things that destroy everything that makes them happy.

Don’t be this woman.

You want to be loved? Love yourself first before you love others.

So there are a lot of things you can do to help you get over the loss of your husband:

  • Listen to some good music
  • Pick up a new hobby or two
  • Work on your self-mastery and the things that make you happy
  • Get out of the house and do something with friends or family

Those are just a few of the most important things you can do to get over your sadness.

And you know what?

Getting in touch with a professional relationship coach is one of the best things you can do in order to start taking care of yourself and living a fulfilling and happy life.

I’m saying this because professional coaches at Relationship Hero helped me not only once but twice to get through a difficult time in my love life. How so?

They gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.  

So, don’t sabotage your happiness just because your husband left you, and contact these incredible coaches to receive personalized advice about your love life.

Click here to get started.

5) Feel free to cry and scream as much as you’d like

Trust me, I know how hard it can be to stay strong when you’re sad and heartbroken.

So feel free to cry and scream as much as you want because it’s perfectly normal to hurt.

I’m sorry that you have to go through this, but all the pain you’re feeling is valid.

Just move through it, let your emotions flow freely, and don’t let anyone make you feel like less of a person for feeling this way.

After all, you’re not weak for feeling this way.

You’re normal.

And once you get through this, you’re going to feel like a brand new woman.

You’re going to feel happy and wonderful again.

6) Spend time with your children

When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them.

And even though your kids are older now, they still need you.

Spending time with them is the best way to get through this because they see the pain you’re in and they will understand why you’re so sad.

They might even join in on helping you through this by giving comfort or simply laughing with you at how “messed up” your marriage is now.

Want to know the best part?

Your kids will love you more now than they ever have because they know you’re doing your best to get through this emotional pain.

And having them around will be the best medicine you can get.

7) Have a friend or family member help you work out your feelings

One of the best ways to help get through something like this is to have someone else to talk to.

You might feel like there’s no one who can understand how you’re hurting, but that’s not true.

You do need help, and having a friend or family member around is not only a great way for you to feel like you’re not alone, but it’s also a better way for them to understand your pain.

It’s also a safe space where you can be vulnerable and honest with them.

If you had make a big mistake and don’t know how to fix it, your friend or family member will be able to help you figure out what you did wrong.

And you can also earn back their trust by showing them that you can change.

8) Keep your self-esteem up

You might be wondering:

How do I keep my self-esteem high when I’m going through this?

Well, self-esteem is highly important in any relationship.

If you have low self-esteem, your man might lose respect for you and feel like he doesn’t honor you anymore.

And that’s not good because he won’t want to be with anyone who can’t keep her self-respect.

You can keep your self-esteem high by working on yourself and becoming more confident.

It’s easy to do.

All you have to do is think about the things you’re good at and all the times you’ve helped others.

It doesn’t take much, all it takes is a little time and effort to help you get through this hard time.

pexels john rae cayabyab 3029471 1 "My husband left me and I still love him": 14 tips if this is you

9) Read self-help books on how to cope with loneliness and heartbreak

Another helpful tip we have for you is to read self-help books.

I know, it might sound a little weird.

You probably thought we were going to say “go get yourself a puppy” or something like that.

And that’s not bad advice either, but self-help books are incredibly helpful for getting over your pain.

You see, self-help books offer a different kind of advice because they often offer exercises and other activities you can do to help make your life easier.

So instead of just reading, you can actually take action.

Just make sure you get books that aren’t full of fluff and nonsense that doesn’t mean anything.

I’m not saying to use self-help books as a magic pill that will solve all your problems.

All I’m saying is that if you want to get better, you should start reading these books right now.

10) Join online forums where you can connect with others who’ve been through this before

If you noticed, we mentioned reading self-help books.

And online forums are the same thing.

Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another.

They’re also communities where you can help other members solve their problems.

And this is incredibly helpful because it gives people a chance to talk about what they have been through and figure out a way to fix it in the future.

You might feel like you’re on an island all by yourself, but that’s not true.

There are thousands, probably even millions of people in the world right now who’ve been through this situation.

And if you talk to them about it, they might be able to help you get through it faster.

You can find online communities everywhere.

Just type “online discussion forums” into any search engine and you’ll find plenty of forums that can help you get through this.

11) Forgive your husband for everything and move on with your life

If you’ve been through a lot of bad stuff with your husband, you might feel like you want to hold a grudge against him.

But the truth is that hating him just isn’t the best way to go.

Hating him will only make it harder for you to move on with your life and put this marriage in the past where it belongs.

If you want to get over the pain and suffering, the best thing you can do is forgive your husband and move on with your life.

No, I’m not saying that you need to forget all that happened.

That’s impossible.

I’m just saying that forgiving him will help you feel better.

And if you can’t forgive him, it might be time for you to walk away from this relationship completely because this isn’t a good place for anyone to be in.

12) Find a new companion to share that life with

I know you’re hurting right now, and I understand that you want another shot with your husband.

But I’m not saying that you should give up on your marriage and move on with your life.

For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through.

I’ve been single for almost two years now and I will be for a while longer.

And I can tell you first-hand that it’s not easy to go through something like this.

So find a new companion to share your life with.

You can get a new cat or dog, or you can even get a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

The important thing here is that you find someone who can make you feel good again.

You don’t have to be with them forever and ever, but they can help you through this time of your life.

It doesn’t matter what they look like, the color of their skin, or the gender they identify with.

All that matters is that they make you feel good inside.

13) Accept that your marriage may be over

And now the most important step you can take in your journey to get over your husband:

Accept that he might not be coming back.

I know it’s hard, but you have to realize that it might be over between the two of you.

I know he broke your heart and betrayed every single romantic connection you ever had together, but that doesn’t mean he can’t change.

I know he made some mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to live with them.

I know he hurt you really badly and broke your heart, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t fix it.

You have to let go of the past and move on with your life.

It’s not fair of you to hold a grudge and try to get your husband back when he’s more than likely done with you.

So take the next step:

Let go of the past and move on with your life!

14) Accept that you are going to be single for a while

If you’re feeling like you want to get over this pain and suffering, the last step you have to take is very important.

And that is accepting that it might be a few years before your husband comes back to you or before you find someone to love you again.

You have to understand that this is a painful process, and it’s going to take time.

I have been through this, and I know that sometimes it may seem like your marriage is over, but it might not be.

And the same is true of your new companion.

Just because it seems like they don’t love you doesn’t mean that they’re done with you.

This just might be a part of a painful process where you have to learn how to get over someone.

I know it’s hard and you might want your husband or another person to be there for you, but that’s just not going to happen right away.

So take the time to accept your new life and move on with things the best way you can.

Final thoughts

I know that getting over your husband is a very difficult process to go through.

And I want you to know that it’s not impossible.

Saving the relationship when you’re the only one trying is tough but it doesn’t always mean your relationship should be scrapped.

Because if you still love your spouse, what you really need is a plan of attack to mend your marriage.

Many things can slowly infect a marriage—distance, lack of communication, and sexual issues. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can shift into infidelity and disconnectedness.

Fortunately, relationship expert and divorce coach Brad Browning knows exactly what it takes to save a failing marriage.

Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. He is a best-selling author and shares valuable marriage advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.

The strategies Brad reveals are extremely powerful and might make the difference between a “happy marriage” and an “unhappy divorce”.

So, if you want to give your marriage another chance, watch his simple and genuine video here.

Picture of Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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