Do you ever get the feeling that your husband talks down to you?
Is he always brushing off your ideas and telling you no, even when it seems like a good idea to him as well?
If so, then your relationship might need a little more work.
To help you get on the right track, we’ve included 14 warning signs of a condescending husband.
1) He feels entitled to make all of your decisions
A condescending husband feels like he has a God-given right to make all of the decisions in your life, especially the high-stakes ones.
For example, he’ll tell you that your birthday is at his parent’s house, not the restaurant you picked because he knows what’s best.
Or he’ll make all of the decisions about where your kids go to school and how they should be raised.
I know the feeling:
It’s frustrating not to be heard, especially when he’s making decisions that will impact your entire family.
2) He doesn’t believe you need to talk about your feelings with him
Another warning sign of a condescending husband is that he doesn’t believe you need to talk about your feelings.
For instance, he might tell you that you’re doing something wrong by expressing your emotions or giving you an attitude when you try to talk about how something makes you feel.
When your husband is truly a good man, he’ll respect your feelings and listen to how you’re feeling.
Over time, you and he will develop a better understanding of each other’s needs, because you’ll have talked to him about your feelings.
But if he doesn’t believe in listening to his partner — the woman who is supposed to be his partner and best friend — then something may be off with his character.
This means you’re going to have to work extra hard to keep your relationship from turning stale and less romantic.
3) He constantly criticizes how you look, but doesn’t take personal care of his appearance either
Have you wondered why your husband is so critical of how you look?
Maybe he tells you to lose weight and that you don’t dress well. He may even tell you that your clothes are ugly or your makeup is too heavy.
Or maybe he points out that your hair looks like a rat’s nest in the morning.
All of this criticism can make it hard to love yourself, especially if your husband fails to take care of his own appearance.
“So, why would he be so critical of you?”
Because of his condescending attitude, your husband may judge how you look according to cultural standards.
But then he gets upset if you don’t meet those standards, even though he doesn’t live up to them either.
4) He’s quick to point out your faults
If your husband is always pointing out your mistakes, then he might be condescending.
You may feel like he’s telling you what to do all the time, even when it’s something small. But you’re afraid to say anything because you don’t want to upset him.
A condescending husband may have learned that this is how he gains control of his wife.
You’ll do things his way and not question him because you don’t want to add more stress to your day.
His behavior might be inevitable since you’re both stuck in a cycle of stress and resentment. But do you really want to spend the rest of your days in that miserable cycle?
Of course not.
So even if you don’t want to argue, you must still stand your ground and say what you need to say.
5) He looks down on your interests as inferior
Are you interested in fishing or knitting?
Maybe you enjoy baking, scrapbooking, or even just reading a lot.
If so, your husband might make it seem like your hobbies are childish or lame.
He’ll tell you that they’re stupid and he’s never interested in doing what you’re doing.
And if you try to tell him all the things his hobbies are missing out on, he’ll just brush it off and ignore what you have to say.
That is a warning sign of a condescending husband.
Not only that, but it will probably make you feel like you should stop doing the things that you love.
All because your husband doesn’t support and encourage your hobbies and interests.
6) He will attempt to make his “friends” feel more important than you
Think about this for a moment:
Does your spouse have friends that he refers to as “the cool guy and his buddy”?
Or does your husband do things like putting away the car and going to dinner with “his buds” while you stay home alone?
I know this is hard to imagine, but if you look closely at this question, I think you can see that it’s a warning sign of a condescending husband.
He might like hanging out with people who are better than you in some way. He may refuse to be around you because he’s ashamed to be seen with you.
If you’re uncomfortable with this, then talk to him about it. But the fact that he doesn’t treat you as an equal is a serious problem.
7) He’s extremely controlling of your finances
One way for a husband to feel superior over his wife is to monitor her spending. He may try to tell her that she doesn’t need something or tell her what she can and cannot buy.
What happened next was unthinkable:
Some husbands might even go as far as checking their wife’s credit card statements or bank accounts on a regular basis.
They want to feel like they have more power over their wives so they’ll do whatever it takes to feel superior and this is definitely a sign that your husband is condescending.
Now, it’s up to you to talk with him about it.
That’s not how a real marriage should work. You’ve worked too hard for your money and earned it because of your hard work and sacrifice.
Don’t let another person steal that from you — especially the person you love the most.
8) He expects you to cook, clean, and be sociable at all times without complaint
A condescending husband will expect his wife to be on call 24/7.
He’ll expect her to cook, clean, and do whatever she can to make him happy at all times and he won’t give her a break.
She’ll most likely feel like she’s walking on eggshells around him because she doesn’t want any extra stress in her life.
9) He doesn’t believe in your ability to make decisions or solve problems on your own without his help
Here’s the truth:
You don’t need your husband’s permission to go out.
Your husband may pressure you to do things like register for a class or take an online class without first discussing it with him.
He may even tell you that you’re dumb or silly for trying to learn on your own and he’ll belittle your efforts to learn.
This sounds awful, but it happens all the time in relationships especially if you get married to a condescending husband.
But you deserve better.
You work hard every single day and you shouldn’t have to get permission from anyone to learn something new.
So don’t ever feel like you need to ask your husband for his permission just so he won’t get upset with what you’re doing. You can do whatever it is and he has no say in the matter.
10) He insists that he should be the head of the household
This is another sign that your husband is condescending and he will most likely want to control every aspect of your life.
If you don’t make the money, you can’t spend it.
If you have kids, he’ll make sure they’re in school on time even if he doesn’t have a job.
He’ll also instruct you on how to raise them and tell you when they should go to bed and when they should get up in the morning.
He’ll treat you like his little servant and refuse to let you make any decisions because he knows better than you do.
So take the next step:
Build your own self-worth. Learn how to speak up for yourself instead of letting your husband walk all over you.
Don’t let him tell you exactly how things will be done anymore—you’re not a child, and he’s not the boss of you.
11) He takes credit for all of your accomplishments
Imagine what it would be like:
You work so hard and finally get the promotion you’ve been working on for the past three years.
You’re thrilled, but when you tell your husband about it all he does is laugh at you and criticize your efforts.
He’ll tell you that he deserves the credit for what you’ve accomplished because he’s made all of your decisions for you.
Now, I know that this is pretty harsh and brutal.
But it’s important for you to realize what’s happened to you.
If your husband constantly takes credit for your accomplishments and never tells you that he’s proud of you, then he respects you very little.
12) He belittles and judges others more often than listening or learning from them
When your husband belittles you, it’s hard to feel great about yourself because you know deep down that he doesn’t respect you.
Dealing with a condescending husband can be extremely frustrating and trying.
You’ll end up feeling exhausted and depressed as a result of this type of emotional abuse.
And the worst part is that you can’t leave him because you’re too afraid he’ll find someone who will treat him better than you.
You think that if you try to leave him and fail, he’ll lose respect for you even more.
But you have to remember that you’re human and your flaws are what make you unique.
We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean your husband is right in judging you.
13) You’re always the one apologizing and making excuses for him
This is one of the most damaging things that can happen to your marriage and relationship because of his condescending behavior.
You end up not feeling like you deserve better than your fears.
Instead of focusing on the positives in your life, you spend all of your time focusing on the negative parts and you feel like a failure.
Eventually, you might stop being able to see good in yourself because you’re so exhausted from trying to please him.
No relationship is perfect. And every relationship will have a few ups and downs.
But you have to learn to recognize the problems in your relationship and confront them with your husband.
You can’t keep allowing your husband to belittle you and blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
14) He feels threatened when he sees you spending time with other people
One of the major signs of how your husband is condescending towards you is when he feels threatened anytime he sees you spending time with other people.
He may warn you about their intentions and try to get you to stay with him because he’s afraid of what they’re up to.
But here’s the thing:
Your husband doesn’t have the right to feel threatened because he’s not your boss.
He can only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
If you’re too afraid to leave him, then you won’t respect yourself enough to be independent and make your own decisions.
Final thoughts
Hopefully, by now you’ve got a better idea of what it feels like to be married to a condescending husband, and you’ve realized that you deserve better.
But if you’d like to know how to go about resolving your marriage issues, I’d recommend checking out this excellent video by marriage expert Brad Browning.
He’s worked with thousands of couples to help them reconcile their differences.
From infidelity to lack of communication, Brad’s got you covered with the common (and peculiar) issues that crop up in most marriages.
So if you’re not ready to give up on yours yet, click the link below and check out his valuable advice.
