Have you ever known someone who can get whatever they want, whenever they want it? Have you looked at this person with awe, and yet, a little bit of distaste in your mouth because it doesn’t seem right?
Well, if you felt like they were taking advantage of you or someone else, you are probably right. Many people are master emotional manipulators in work, life, and relationships.
It’s a tough thing to spot and it hurts like hell when you realize someone has been playing you for their own advantage, but there are ways to recognize it so you can stop it before it even happens.
Here are 10 ways people can emotionally manipulate you to get what they want. Watch out for these tricksters so you can stay ahead of the game.
1) They invite you to their space.
One way that master manipulators gain control over the situation is by inviting you to their home or office so that you are in their territory.
It’s a control thing and makes you feel like a guest so you won’t speak up against them. Keep your eyes peeled for sneaky people who are trying to take advantage of you in their homes.
2) They listen first.
You might think this is good behavior, but what they are doing is looking for holes in your story, finding things to criticize you about, and judge you for their own purposes.
They’ll let you talk all day just to turn around and use that information against you to your face or to others.
3) They twist the facts.
Even if you are very clear about what you want, need, or said, they will find a way to turn the truth around and work in their favor. And they’ll brush it off by saying things such as “oh yeah, but what you meant was…” and then you are left defending yourself.
4) They inundate you with information.
To overwhelm you and confuse you, and get you to agree with them, they’ll often put a great deal of information on you so that you don’t have time to respond. They’ll make the decision for you and then you’ll just have to go along with it.
5) They block you with red tape.
At work, this is especially common. Bosses who don’t like subordinates will block requests or issues with tons of red tape to maintain power over that person. It’s a power play and can really hurt organizations as well as individuals.
6) They speak louder.
For some reason, people think if they talk louder it makes them sound smarter or better. They also think it makes them right. Emotional manipulators do this all the time.
They just keep talking. They talk louder and over everyone else to gain control of the room and then you have no choice but to listen to them.
7) They are negative.
Emotional manipulators are not happy people and so it comes through in their work and life. They yell and scream at everyone, or they are very quiet, but either way, they aren’t actually having a good time.
Many times, they recognize they can control someone else, which they think makes them happy because it gives them a sense of control. But it just ruins life for everyone.
8) They use ultimatums.
They’ll give you a tight deadline, tell you to take it or leave it, or decide ahead of time that you need to do something specific in order to please them.
It’s tricky and if this emotional manipulator is your boss, you might not realize that they are trying to set up your for failure.
9) They make fun of you.
They might laugh at you and make you feel shitty about yourself or something you accomplished. It comes out as a backhanded slap and others might not even pick up on it, but they meant it and you sure as hell felt it.
It could be as simple as a comment about the way you dress, but you know they meant to hurt you.
10) They judge you openly.
They make no apologies for saying you are wrong or doing things wrong. And by wrong, what they usually mean, is that you are not doing it their way! You’ll always be wrong unless you do it the way they think it needs to be done.
They’ll never be happy so stop trying to please this kind of person and focus on making yourself happy instead.
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