“Why is my husband such a jerk?!” – 5 tips if this is you

You’re in a relationship, and you’re feeling frustrated.

You know your partner is a jerk, but you can’t seem to do anything about it.

Does this sound familiar?

Maybe this is you: you’re probably wondering why your husband is so bad at communication, why he makes you feel bad or why he’s being selfish.

So, this article is for you! My purpose is to help you understand the reasons why your husband is such a jerk and how to deal with it.

11 signs your husband is a jerk

1) He doesn’t listen or pay attention to you

When was the last time he listened to your problems carefully?

Admit it. When you talk about things that are important to you, he’s inattentive.

He may appear attentive, but he’s probably only listening half the time. This is especially true if he’s doing something else while you’re talking to him (watch tv, do something else on his phone..etc).

He may be listening when he’s not supposed to be, or if he wants something from you.

Does this sound like you?

And to make matters worse, he won’t even acknowledge your existence.

  • “What did I forget?” he’ll ask.

And you know what? You will have a better chance of getting a response out of him if you call him a jerk, then ask him to make dinner.

As a result, you may feel as if your communication is being ignored when this happens. But it’s not like that at all! Your husband is just distracted by his own thoughts. Why? Because he’s such a jerk.

2) He tries to manipulate your feelings

Believe it or not, your husband might be a master manipulator.

He may do this in different ways, but the end result is always the same. He wants you to think he cares about you, and he wants you to feel good about yourself.

But guess what?

The truth is, he’s only trying to manipulate your emotions so that you will do what he wants.

How does he do this?

Let’s say your husband has asked you for a favor (such as helping him with something or giving him a hand), and you have agreed to help him. He might then turn around and try to make you feel guilty for having agreed to help him, even though it was your idea in the first place!

This way, he can manipulate your emotions and make you feel like a bad person if you don’t help him.

Or maybe he wants to make you feel good about yourself, so he compliments you on something that you did not do (such as cooking a nice meal for him). Then, he tries to take credit for something that was actually your idea.

Sounds familiar?

If so, it might be hard to determine the right course of action to avoid damaging your self-esteem.

That’s why I think that speaking to a professional relationship coach might help.

From my personal experience, certified coaches at Relationship Hero are specialized to provide practical solutions to complex relationship situations.

Whether it’s regarding your emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, they can provide unique insights and help you look at things from a completely new perspective.

So, if you’re looking for ways to avoid being manipulated and handle this tough situation, here’s what you should do:

Click here to get started.

3) He doesn’t show appreciation

This is another way to manipulate your emotions.

He might try to make you feel good about yourself by praising or complimenting something that you have done.

Why is this so?

The answer is simple: he’s only trying to make himself look good in front of others! It’s not the real thing at all! And also, because he’s a jerk!

Have you ever thought about the reason why he’s not showing any appreciation?

Whatever your answer is, I hope that you don’t think the reason is that you don’t deserve it. No! No! No!

The reason why he doesn’t show appreciation is that he doesn’t like you!

And this is the worst thing that can happen to you.

He’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself, and he’s doing it in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. He’s trying to control your emotions.

If this is happening, then there’s only one thing left to do: leave him and move on with your life! Don’t let him control your emotions any longer!

4) He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions or words

This one’s a bit harder to spot, but I’m sure you’ve experienced this before.

Maybe he never admits that he was the one who said something that hurt you. Or maybe he doesn’t admit that he did something wrong.

When it comes to taking responsibility for his words and actions, your man is a real jerk.

It’s one thing if your husband is trying to help you with something, but it’s another thing entirely if he refuses to take responsibility for what he did or said.

He wants to control you by making you feel bad about yourself and not admitting his mistakes.

I know how it feels when your husband doesn’t take responsibility for what he says or does. It’s like the world is crashing down on you.

You feel hurt, insecure, and vulnerable. You try to make sense of the situation by thinking that he’s the one who’s being irrational.

And that’s when you end up feeling worse about yourself. And that’s when you start to lose your love for him.


The truth is, he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions or words because he wants you to be dependent on him and not have any self-respect.

He wants to control your feelings and emotions! He wants to make you feel bad about yourself!

So if there is one thing I can guarantee, it’s this: if your husband doesn’t take responsibility for his actions or words, it means he’s a real jerk.

5) He makes you feel guilty about things that aren’t your fault

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Guilt is a feeling that makes you feel bad about yourself.

When you feel guilty, your mind starts to tell you how awful and worthless you are. Yes, it’s true.

Sometimes, instead of telling you how you can improve yourself, he criticizes you.

He might say things like, “You’re so stupid” or “You’re the dumbest person I know.”

The result?

This will make you start doubting yourself and feeling insecure about yourself. This will increase your chances of losing your self-esteem.

And guess what? This will also make you start questioning yourself and feeling like you’re not good enough.

You’ll start to feel sorry for yourself. You’ll start to feel like you’re not good enough for him. And that’s when the love starts to fade away… You see, this is how men make you feel bad about yourself.

No doubt it makes you feel like he doesn’t care about your feelings. It makes you feel like he doesn’t respect your mind and your body. And it makes you feel like a piece of trash.

6) He makes you feel like you’re not good enough for him

Have you ever asked yourself why you feel like you’re not good enough for him?

I mean, this is a guy who’s supposed to love and respect you. This is a guy who’s supposed to make you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. But instead, he’s acting like a jerk and making you feel bad about yourself.

The simple truth is that he doesn’t respect your feelings or wants to make you feel good about yourself by respecting your feelings and needs.

Admit it. He wants you to be dependent on him so that he can keep control over your emotions and feelings. He wants to control your emotions and feelings so that he can keep control of your life!

7) He acts as a superior around you

Have you noticed that your husband has started to act if he were superior compared to you?

He might have started out with a few small things, but then he’s gradually become more and more of a …

He might have even started to intimidate you by showing off his wealth, power, position, and success. He might even start thinking that he’s better than you and that he doesn’t need any woman.

Annoying isn’t it?

This type of behavior is one of the biggest signs of being a jerk. He knows that if he makes you feel inferior around him, then it will make him feel superior to you. And this is exactly how men try to control women. They want to keep us under their control so that they can get the upper hand.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can learn how to stand up and fight back against this behavior by telling him that you’re a confident woman. That you’re not his inferior. And that he needs to respect your feelings, mind, and body as much as he respects your words.

8) He never lets you use his phone but wants to use yours

Now let me take a wild guess.

Your husband has been giving you a hard time with your phone.

He’s always asking you why you can’t just use his phone.

In fact, he might even have even started accusing you of cheating on him because he thinks that your phone is full of men’s numbers.

How does it make you feel?

I bet it makes you feel awful.

There are a lot of reasons why men do this.

One of the reasons is that they don’t want you to have access to their phone. They don’t trust you, and they think that if you have access to their phone, then they can’t keep secrets from you.

So how do we fix this problem?

You’ve heard the advice a million times but one way is for us to tell him that we won’t ever let him use our phone again. But if he still insists, then we go ahead and do exactly what we wanted to do on his phone without his permission.

Fair enough, right?

And that’s indeed another sign of him being a jerk.

9) He doesn’t help you with children and housework

When was the last time your husband helped you with the housework or took care of the kids?

That’s right. He doesn’t. If he does, it’s only when you ask him to.

Well, the truth is that you’re not the only one who has to do everything.

He should be helping you with housework and taking care of the children too. But he doesn’t. Why?

Because he’s a jerk.

It’s not fair for him to expect you to do everything all by yourself. This is why many men don’t like being a husband because they have to work all day long and come home in the evening, tired and exhausted and then do everything by themselves.

This is also why many men don’t like being a father because they have to take care of the kids all day long, wake them up in the morning, give them food, bathe them, take them for walks, play with them, etc.

Now, if you have children, I bet this is probably the worst thing that your husband can ever do to you.

Remember: if your husband doesn’t help you around the house, it means that he’s not interested in having a family.

10) He doesn’t respect your privacy

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It’s one thing for him to be jealous of your phone but another thing entirely for him to invade your privacy.

He might have started by asking you what numbers you have on your phone. He might even accuse you of cheating on him if he finds out that you have male friends on your phone.

Let me guess.

It makes you feel like he doesn’t respect the fact that you have a personal life outside of his life. And this is something that men don’t understand, and they can’t accept it. They want to keep all the control in their hands and they won’t let go.

But you don’t have to let him control you. You can tell him that you won’t let him invade your privacy and that he needs to respect your privacy and stop asking you about your phone.

11) He enjoys blaming you for everything

Let me guess once again.

Your husband is probably blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life.

He’s probably blaming you for his job not going well. He’s probably blaming you for his friend’s divorce, his best friend moving away, and all the other bad things in his life.

And this is something that men don’t understand and can’t accept.

They want to control everything, and it makes them feel powerful when they can point the finger at their wife and blame her for their problems.

But you don’t have to let him do this to you anymore. You can tell him that he needs to stop blaming you for everything that happens in his life and start taking responsibility for his own life instead of blaming you every time something goes wrong in his life.

Good news: You can get rid of him.

5 tips if you’re husband is being a jerk

  • Talk to him about it: This is the first step in any changeover male relations. If your husband isn’t happy with his behavior, it might be best to start by talking about it. He may not like the way he’s feeling and might find it difficult to change his ways if he doesn’t know how.
  • Take a break: Sometimes the best way to get your husband to change is for him to take a break from his bad habits. This can include anything from spending time with his family, going for walks, or taking a walk of his own.
  • Make sure your relationship is healthy: If your relationship is unhealthy, it might be difficult for your husband to make changes. You might need to make sure that you are both happy and healthy in your relationship. You can do this by communicating with each other and making sure your needs are met.
  • Get help: If you and your husband are unable to work out a solution, you can seek counseling from professionals who have experience in helping relationships.
  • Move on: If you and your husband are able to work out a solution, it is important that you move on. You need to be able to love yourself and love the person that your husband has become.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, by now you’ve got a better idea of why your husband is being such a jerk and what to do about it.

But if you’re still unsure of how to go about resolving your marriage issues, I’d recommend checking out this excellent video by marriage expert Brad Browning.

He’s worked with thousands of couples to help them reconcile their differences.

From infidelity to lack of communication, Brad’s got you covered with the common (and peculiar) issues that crop up in most marriages.

So if you’re not ready to give up on yours yet, click the link below and check out his valuable advice.

Here’s a link to his free video again.

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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