When she says she needs time, here’s how long you should wait

If you’ve been dating for a while, it can happen that your girlfriend will ask for some time at some point.

Perhaps she needs space, or maybe she’s just not ready for the next step in your relationship.

If you’re hoping to make things work with this girl, here’s what you need to know when she says she needs time:

What this means for you

If your girlfriend says she needs time, it probably means that she wants to be able to think about her feelings for you and her goals for the future without any pressure from you.

When she asks for time, don’t take it personally.

It might not even be about you at all, but something she’s dealing with in her own life.

If your girlfriend needs time, she needs you to let her have it.

If your girlfriend needs time, it can be a sign that she’s not as invested in the relationship as much as you are.

While you may be ready to take the next step in your relationship, she might feel like she isn’t ready yet.

Now: you can spend a lot of time interpreting why she needs time, but in reality, you won’t know until she is ready to talk about it.

If you don’t know what to do in this situation, just be patient and wait for her to come to you.

Be sure that you’re treating this as an opportunity for her to think about her feelings and not an opportunity for you to control her.

Just because she asks for time doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want the relationship anymore.

She may just need time to figure out what she’s feeling, while still being able to stay friends with you.

Remember: if your girlfriend needs time, there is probably a reason why she needs it, so don’t take this as an insult or a sign that she wants the relationship over.

Why does she need time?

Andromedan1 When she says she needs time, here's how long you should wait

If your girlfriend says she needs time, it’s important to understand why.

It could be that she’s just not ready for a serious relationship.

She might feel like she isn’t ready for a new relationship after a breakup or a long-term relationship might have ended recently.

If your relationship is relatively new, she might be adjusting to being in a relationship and feel overwhelmed.

She might feel like she’s not ready for the kind of commitment that a serious relationship means.

You see, there are thousands of reasons why she might need a little bit of time, and you might not even have anything to do with it!

Before you overreact or worse, become demanding, just be sure you have a good understanding of why she needs time.

If you don’t know what she’s feeling or why she needs time, you might get angry and push her away.

If you’re not sure what to do in this situation, try asking her if there is anything that you can do to help make her feel better.

Just remember: if your girlfriend says she needs time, there is probably a reason for it.

It could be something that has nothing to do with the relationship at all and everything to do with her personal life.

She may want some time because of a physical issue or a health issue, or she may need some time because of an emotional issue.

Your girlfriend might want some space because she has been dealing with something in her personal life (a breakup or recent breakup), or maybe something else entirely!

How long should you wait?

If your girlfriend says she needs time, she’ll let you know how long you should wait before trying to contact her again.

Generally, the longer your relationship has been going, the more confident you can be that she will come to you when she is ready.

If your relationship is relatively new, she might ask you to wait a shorter amount of time, even just a few days.

If your relationship has been going strong for a while, she might ask you to wait a month before contacting her again.

If you’re unsure how long you should wait, ask her what she thinks is best.

If she doesn’t respond, you can take this as a sign that you should wait longer than contacting her right away.

You see, she might not know how much time she needs, either, but it’s not wrong for you to ask her so that you can both be on the same page.

Just remember that if you ask her how long you should wait, she might just say whatever she thinks is best because she might not have a good idea of how long she needs.

You can tell her that it’s OK to ask you what time you think is best, and together you can figure out what’s best for both of you.

Get an expert’s opinion 

While the points in this article will help you deal with your girlfriend needing time, it can be helpful to get a third party’s input about your situation.

Sometimes, the issue is something blatantly obvious to her, but that you might not be aware of. 

So if you’re unsure of the exact reason she needs space, this Self-love quiz can show you what you might be blind to about what’s causing the issues. 

The quiz is completely free and was created by a globally acclaimed shaman called Rudá Iandê to help people like you and me get to the bottom of what’s straining our relationship. 

After feeling helpless for so long, it gave me a unique insight into the reality of the dynamics of my relationship. My illusions about my relationship were shattered. 

But although it was difficult, I was also given valuable practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

Through the information the results of the quiz gave me, I was able to heal and resolve those issues internally. 

You can take the quiz and get your results instantly here.

Try to fix the problem and move forward together

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If you’ve been dating for a while, you might be able to work through whatever issue is causing your girlfriend to ask for time.

If you’ve been dating for a few months and your girlfriend says she needs time, you can try to work things through in hopes of fixing the problem and moving forward together.

Try to have a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend and understand what she’s going through.

Ask her if there is something that you can do to help move things along and make her more comfortable in the relationship.

While you might not have anything to do with the situation, it could be that the relationship is causing her distress, hence the request for a break.

If she is willing to talk about it, you might be able to figure out a solution together.

No contact is important here

While you are trying to work things out and trying to get your girlfriend to open up to you, no contact is very important here.

If you’ve been dating for a few months and your girlfriend asks for time, no contact is essential to give her the space she needs.

When you don’t contact your girlfriend, she doesn’t have to worry about you contacting her.

This also gives her the time and space she needs to work through her feelings and come to a decision about your relationship.

If you stay in contact with your girlfriend, you’re going to make it harder for her to fully process her feelings.

You’ll also be putting pressure on her for her to make a decision before she’s ready.

So, try to follow the no-contact rule, which is as simple as it sounds: set a number of days, like maybe a week, or a few weeks, depending on your situation, and then refrain from contacting her in any way.

When she reaches out, you can talk to her, of course, but try to give her space during that time.

When the time is over, you can check in with her!

This will make it a bit easier for you to give her space.

Why is this happening?

That raises the question:

Why does love so often start out great, only to become a nightmare?

And what’s the solution to your girlfriend needing time?

The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.

We often think of love as an external thing we feel for someone else. But I learned recently that the love we feel toward others is always a reflection of the love or lack of love, we feel within. 

It sounds like a generalization, right? Well, far from it.

I realized this was a very accurate description when I looked at what triggered me in my relationships, and saw that everything was directly linked to what I lacked, or didn’t like in myself. 

I actually learned this valuable lesson when I took an unlikely chance on a Love and Intimacy masterclass I was recommended by a close friend. 

Taking this masterclass introduced me to Rudá Iandê, a shaman who works internationally with clients to help them live more balanced, healthy, and love-filled lives. 

His teachings left a deep imprint on the way I viewed self-love and romantic love, which immensely transformed the quality of my relationships.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes dashed over and over like I was, then this is a message you need to hear.

Click here to try the free masterclass.

What if she doesn’t come back?

attention When she says she needs time, here's how long you should wait

If you’ve done everything right and waited the appropriate amount of time and your girlfriend still doesn’t come back to you, it’s time to let go.

When your girlfriend doesn’t come back after the appropriate amount of time, it’s a sign that your relationship wasn’t meant to be.

That doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong.

You can’t control your girlfriend’s feelings for you or what she decides in her life.

In this case, you just need to be prepared to move on and find a better fit for your life.

Even if your girlfriend says she needs time, don’t lose hope.

You can work through the issue and move forward together. If you’re patient and willing to wait for the time that your girlfriend needs, you can get your relationship back on track.

Now: you might feel like “if only I’d tried harder”, but the truth is if she asks for time and you pressure her, she would have just ended things even sooner!

Trust me, your best shot here is to give her some time to figure out her own feelings a bit!

What now?

If your girlfriend says she needs time, it’s a chance to work on yourself and improve as a couple.

Don’t take it personally and be patient with her.

This is a chance to grow, improve your communication skills, and work on yourself.

And if you’re still racking your brain on what to do to improve the situation, you start with the Self-love quiz I suggested. 

It will give you insightful answers to your questions about why this is happening, and what you can do about it in the meantime. 

By doing the quiz, you can be more informed and prepared to fix the problem together once she’s ready to open up to you.

Here’s the link to the quiz again. 

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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