What it means when a girl says she needs time to figure things out

Do you have a hard time understanding what a girl might mean when she says she needs some space to figure things out?

You’re not alone.

In this blog post, I’ll explore 16 possible explanations for these confusing situations.

Let’s get started.

1) She isn’t ready for a commitment

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It is possible that she feels she needs to be with you, but she just doesn’t feel ready to take the relationship to the next level yet.

I can explain…

Girls typically need more time than men to get used to a new relationship and determine their feelings.

They might feel like they are in too deep already, or they simply aren’t ready.

Whatever her reasons may be, it is best not to pressure her into doing something she is not comfortable with right now.

2) She needs space because she is feeling insecure right now

Maybe something is bothering her and she is trying not to think about it, but in order to keep herself from getting upset, she needs some time to calm down and figure out what’s really going on.

What you can do?

Giving her space will help keep the situation from getting worse as long as she doesn’t need your emotional support for it at this time.

3) A relationship coach can give you real clarity

While the reasons in this article will help you deal with what it means when a girl says she needs time to figure things out, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with what to do then your girl says she needs time too.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

4) She needs time to take a break

If she has been doing a lot of thinking, making decisions or going through something emotionally, she may need some space to relax and refresh.

She might even just need a few minutes to breathe without having to worry about anything else going on in her life.

5) She needs time to see if you’d be good for her

If the two of you are moving fast, she might need some space to make sure it’s not too fast.

I have been there.

Romantic relationships can be exciting, but sometimes they need a little space and breathing room first.

6) She needs time for self-reflection

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It may be that she has been so busy with school, work, or other commitments that she hasn’t had time to think about the relationship at all.

Here’s why:

She wants to make the best decisions for her future and might need a few months before she can come up with a clear direction.

That’s why she needs some time to process her experiences with you and decide what is best for her in life.

7) She doesn’t want to let go of another guy yet

It is possible that there was someone else she liked at one point.

She needs space to figure out where she stands.

On the other hand, she might say this because she is afraid to move on from her ex, or because she wants to wait for another guy who also makes her happy.

Maybe she is confused about what she wants or needs. Maybe she hasn’t been thinking about what’s going on and doesn’t know exactly how she feels.

Or maybe her emotions are slowly catching up to her and she needs some time to think before saying or doing anything else.

She might even need space from her parents, boyfriend, or fiancé during this time if things aren’t clear yet.

8) She needs to work on herself first

She might be working through some things in life and she knows that a relationship won’t be the best thing for her right now.

Fair enough?

She wants to know that she can be happy on her own before she can commit to someone else, especially you.

What’s more, she may just need some time to get in a good mental state before she sees you again so that she can continue to work on whatever else is going on in her life.


If you ask her if you could come by and see her again soon and she tells you she’s not ready, give her some space.

It takes time to find what works for the both of you and there’s nothing wrong with waiting until she can really trust that you’re not going anywhere.

9) She is not ready for sex and isn’t comfortable talking about it yet

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She might be thinking about what you have told her about your sexual history, or she may just not feel ready for sex yet.

You need to respect her and do whatever it takes to reassure her that you are still willing to wait until she is truly ready and comfortable with the idea of sex.

10) She needs some time to see if you’re the real deal

A lot of guys fall in love fast, but girls know better than to take anyone at face value.

They need a little time to see if they’re getting someone they can trust and depend on in a long-term relationship.

11) She needs more time alone

If a girl says she needs to be alone for a bit and doesn’t want to talk about anything else, that could mean any number of things.

It’s important not to assume the worst if she isn’t in contact with you for a few days. She might be going through a really hard time in her life and she needs her space.

Give her some time, but don’t send her a bunch of texts asking when you might see her or what’s wrong.

12) She needs the space to figure out her emotions

Girls often need their emotions to be in balance before they are ready to enter a new relationship.

They feel like they need to be in control of their feelings sometimes and because of this, relationships can often go awry when two people don’t really know how they feel.

Let me explain…

Maybe she is confused, hurt or feeling something that she just can’t put into words yet.

Maybe she is going through some major life changes and needs time to figure all of that out.

No matter what goes on, giving her some space will help her process the situation, figure it out and feel better inside without having to worry about other things going on in her life.

13) She needs space to calm down before talking with you again

Maybe she is having a bad day or dealing with something major, and it’s taking more effort to keep her cool than usual.

Truth is…

She might not be realizing how tense she is even when she tries to stay calm, so giving her some space will help her relax and talk with you without feeling stressed.

It might even make it easier for her to talk with you about the situation after she has calmed down.

14) She doesn’t have the energy

Sometimes a girl is just too tired to deal with everything.

She might have had a long day, or she may be dealing with feelings that are more draining than she can handle for the time being.

Either way, if she says she needs time, it’s probably because she physically cannot face the situation.

15) She needs time to get her mind right

Sometimes a girl just needs some distance from whatever is bothering her so she can clear her head and gain perspective on the situation or feelings that are causing her stress.

This can be for any reason, but it may mean that what she is thinking about is making her stressed out, upset or otherwise uncomfortable.

16) She doesn’t want conflict

Sometimes a woman wants to avoid conflict with her partner.

This doesn’t mean she is afraid of confrontation, but rather that she values peace and harmony in the relationship more than anything else.

It is just she isn’t ready to make any decisions or set any boundaries yet.

How long should I give her space?

We’ve all heard the saying, “If you love someone, let them go.”

It’s not always easy to do when your feelings are strong and they’re worth fighting for.

You may have loved your girlfriend for a long time and would like to give her some space so she can reflect on what’s going on in her life.

As it turns out…

You want her to be happy, so step back and allow her some time away from you. Don’t ask too many questions. Allow the space she needs. Don’t expect an immediate response from her.

All of these can be hard, but it’s something you need to do for her happiness as well as your own.

Think about it …

If you’ve waited this long, then it is totally fine for you to wait a little longer too, and let circumstances bring about the answers you’re looking for.

You may find that she’s still committed to you and feels the same way as when she first fell in love with you.

But if she hasn’t returned your feelings, then it’s time for you to move on with your life. Don’t expect too much from anyone. You only need one person, yourself!

What to do after she says she needs time to think?

What can you say if the girl says that she needs time to think about seeing you again?

There’s a lot of variables here, but there are generally four options:

1) You can say a number of things, really

“I like time to think too,” “that’s not a problem,” or “no problem” are all good ways of saying it without coming off as desperate.

A lot of guys say something along the lines of, “That’s understandable… but would you be willing to try meeting up again sometime in the next week or so?”

This is a good option if you’re willing to wait it out, and not make her feel like she has to rush into anything.

2) You can say that you’d rather not wait and keep pushing on the date

You might also push your depth a little by saying something like, “I’m sure you’ve got other plans, but I just wanted to check in with you to see if we could grab dinner sometime soon.”

3) You can say that you understand, but that you’d rather end things while they’re good

If she seems to be dragging her feet, and she’s a little wishy-washy about you, this might be a good option just to make it easy on both of you.

I’ll usually say something in the lines of, “I totally understand. I think we could have really had something here, but if this is what’s best for you then I’m happy to let it go.”

4) If you choose to see her again, there are a lot of ways of handling this

You can act like nothing’s happened and just have a normal date. Or if you’re feeling bold, you can try to continue physical escalation.

Things that you can say after she says she needs time

If she says she needs time and wants to be left alone for a bit, here are some samples for what you might say:

  • “Ok, tell me how this goes and I’ll do my best to be understanding.”
  • “That’s ok, I’m sure you need to think about this for a bit.”
  • “Ok, well let me give you my number in case you change your mind.”
  • “Ok, well keep in touch if you’ve changed your mind then.”
  • “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, text me if you change your mind.”
  • “Good luck, have a good time.”
  • “It’s fine, I’m sure there will be other girls that need to think about this for a bit.”
  • “I’m leaving it up to you, I’ll see what happens.”

These are just some ideas, but I hope this helps you feel comfortable about the situation and gives you a better sense of what to say.

Final words

If you are dating a girl and she decides that she’s not ready or doesn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore, don’t take it personally.

She may need time to figure out things for herself before making such a big decision about the relationship.

Having a crush on someone is never easy, but it’s important to understand that she can’t give you the answer you want right away.

She will know when she is ready, so don’t rush her into anything unless you are ready to wait for her.

Being her friend at the moment and being patient will help you both in the long run.

While the points in this article will help you deal with what it means when a girl says she needs time to figure things out, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like what to do when a girl says she needs space. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.


Picture of Kathy Lee

Kathy Lee

Hi, I am Kathy. I am a blogger, contemporary dancer, yogis, traveler, and dreamer. Currently exploring the amazing Thailand. The beach is my happy place. I love sharing thoughts and feelings through dancing or writing. My dogs are my best friends. What I believe in: Simplicity. Kindness. Love. Ice-cream.

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