Thinking about your ex with someone else, who is likely to have replaced you in their life, is one of the worst things that can happen after a breakup.
It’s a painful experience and it isn’t uncommon. In fact, many people go through this after their relationship ends.
If you are currently going through the same thing, I understand how frustrating and upsetting this must be for you. You probably feel angry and jealous at the same time.
So, here are 15 practical tips to stop thinking about your ex with someone else as fast as possible.
1) Don’t stalk your ex and their new partner
The first thing you need to do if you want to stop thinking about your ex with someone else is to refrain from stalking them.
Let me explain:
If you keep tabs on what your ex is doing, you might find that you’re obsessing over every move they make which will only make you feel more miserable.
So, my advice for you is:
Don’t be that creepy ex who keeps tabs on their ex and their new partner.
What will you gain from stalking them?
Are you hoping to find out if they are happy?
Do you want to put them in the same pain you feel?
Stalking your ex and their new partner will do nothing to stop you from thinking about them. It will only make you feel worse about yourself because you are acting like a crazy person.
Even if your ex isn’t involved with someone at the moment, this advice still stands. Cutting off all contact is the best way to stop thinking about them altogether.
2) Stop using social media for a while
While social media isn’t the enemy, it’s also a breeding ground for comparison and jealousy.
Well, you may have noticed that everyone posts the good stuff and filters out the bad stuff.
And when you have just broken up, you are likely to experience a lot of negative emotions like jealousy and envy.
If you aren’t careful, you will find yourself getting sucked into the black hole of social media and that’s when you know it’s time to switch off.
While you might want to be connected to your ex’s life, it will only make you feel worse about yourself.
By disconnecting from social media for a while, you will give yourself an opportunity to heal.
You can also protect yourself from social media’s potentially negative impact by setting healthy boundaries for yourself.
3) Exercise to release endorphins that will make you feel better
I know this is not what you want to do, but hear me out:
Exercise has been shown to help people with a wide range of issues, including anxiety, stress, and depression. It has also been proven to lower levels of the hormone cortisol (the hormone responsible for stress) in the blood.
If you are stressed or anxious, then your body produces more cortisol. And sometimes, when you’re going through a breakup, your body might produce more cortisol, which is why you might feel more stressed or anxious.
As a result, you might be having trouble sleeping, eating, and might even feel hopeless.
So, if you want to stop thinking about your ex with someone else and make yourself feel better, then get moving. Put on some music that makes you feel empowered and make sure to push yourself to the max.
When you exercise, you are releasing endorphins in your brain that will make you feel better. And let’s be honest, you might be breaking a sweat too, which will make you feel better.
4) Get tailor-made advice for your situation
While the tips in this article will help you stop thinking about your ex with someone else, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like picturing an ex with someone else. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
5) Don’t blame yourself or dwell on it
You might be blaming yourself for the breakup and this is making you think about your ex with someone else.
You may be dwelling on the thoughts of “what if” or “if only”. If this is the case, then you need to stop blaming yourself and move on.
I know that learning how to stop thinking about your ex with someone else won’t happen overnight but it will eventually happen. You just need to be patient and don’t blame yourself.
As I mentioned before, one way to get rid of the blame is to take action. If you blame yourself for letting it happen and want to stop thinking about your ex with someone else, then do something active to make a change.
One way would be to imagine the worst possible scenario. But, more about that later.
6) Imagine the worst possible scenario
According to relevant research in the area of psychology, one very effective way to stop thinking about your ex with someone else is to think about the worst possible scenario.
Simply put, imagine the worst about your ex and someone else. Regardless of how painful this might be at the beginning, if you keep thinking about the same thing, your mind will get used to the idea.
What’s more, you will get bored eventually and move on.
Numerous people who tried this method insist that it’s effective. And that is because the mind usually takes the path of least resistance.
So, if you keep thinking about the worst possible scenario, your mind will automatically stop thinking about your ex and someone else altogether.
Another tip is to ask yourself questions like “what could happen if” or “what are my worst fears” and this will help you move on as well.
7) Write down your thoughts so you can process them
Another practical tip to stop thinking about your ex with someone else is to write down your thoughts and feelings about what happened.
Whether you want to simply let them out or process them, writing them down will help you move on. It can even help you sleep better!
How does this work?
When you write down your thoughts and emotions, you are putting them into perspective. This means that you are not taking it so personally anymore.
It also helps you be objective and see things from another angle. To be more precise, when you write down your thoughts, this will trigger the brain’s ability to look at things differently and make you think about a different perspective.
8) Rely on breathing exercises to move on
Doing breathing exercises is a pretty simple yet effective way to clear your mind and relax.
One breathing exercise that you can try is the 4-7-8 breathing technique.
All you have to do is sit comfortably in a quiet place and close your eyes. Then, just breathe in for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and exhale for a count of eight.
But if you’re not convinced this will work, I get it. It can be hard to focus on anything else but your ex’s life, especially if you’ve been together for a long time.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focusing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to say goodbye to anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.
9) Try a few meditation techniques
Here’s another practical tip to stop thinking about your ex with someone else.
One way to try and move on is to meditate.
Thanks to countless studies and research, we now know that meditation has a lot of benefits, including improving your concentration level, focus, memory, and decision-making skills.
It also has benefits for people who are going through a difficult time. Simply put, meditating helps some people get a grip on negative emotions like anxiety, stress, and depression.
Managing your attention and awareness through meditation is what allows you to gain control over how much you think about your ex and how you feel.
You will be able to see things as they are and that is why it helps you not to dwell on things anymore.
10) Develop a new hobby or join a group
Want to know more?
If you have just broken up, you will have a lot of free time on your hands. This is the perfect opportunity to do something new and exciting, like joining a group or starting a new hobby.
When you have something to focus on other than your breakup, you will find that you are less likely to think about your ex with someone else. By having something new and exciting to focus on, you will also have new thoughts in your head.
What’s more, you will feel a lot better and less sad because you will have other people to interact with.
So, go out and start doing something new, like joining a fitness class or something else that keeps you occupied.
11) Explore new places and activities
One great way to get your mind off your ex with someone else is to explore new places and try something new.
Try doing things that you haven’t done before, like visiting an art museum, eating at a popular restaurant, or even going to a concert.
All of these things will help you experience life in a whole new way, which will make you feel like you have more to live for and more options to live your life.
Some people even find new love in new places. What’s more, you will make new friends or meet someone who will become your best friend.
You never know, you might even meet your soulmate.
12) Spend time with your family members or friends
Another great way to stop thinking about your ex with someone else is to spend time with the ones you love, such as your friends and family members.
Why does this work?
This is very simple: it keeps your mind busy and makes you focus on something else besides your ex and the one who replaced you.
If you have a friend over for dinner, you will not be thinking about your ex. If you are having drinks with your friends, you will not be thinking about your ex and someone else.
I guess the point is that when you focus on others, especially those who care about you, it can help take your mind off things. So, you definitely need to spend time with people who love you and care about you.
13) Try the AC psychological therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is a form of psychological therapy that helps you to develop greater acceptance of events and emotions, as well as a greater commitment to values-based action consistent with those aims.
It also helps you make changes that lead to more congruent thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
In other words, it will help you stop thinking about your ex with someone else by making things easier on yourself. With ACT, you will understand the reasons why you feel bad and accept them.
This does not change the facts that have happened. But, accepting the emotions and thoughts that you have will help you forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself for your breakup.
How does it work?
Basically, this form of therapy is about being in the present moment. This means that you are focused on what’s going on around you and not on the past or the future.
This can be achieved by doing mindfulness meditation, self-compassion, and acceptance exercises.
Mindfulness is a state of attentiveness and presence that leads to a sense of calm. Through this process, you will not be thinking about your ex with someone else. Instead, you will be focusing on what you can control at that moment.
This gives you the ability to appreciate your present thoughts and feelings without getting so caught up in them that it affects the other aspects of your life.
14) Go on dates with other people
While this tip might make you think that you’re fighting fire with fire, that’s not true.
One way to stop thinking about your ex with someone else is to be on a date instead.
Yes, it might seem counterintuitive, but going on dates with other people can really help you move on and get over your ex.
A study showed that people who started dating again had better mental health and self-esteem.
This is because they had something to look forward to besides the bad memories of their breakups.
What does this mean to you?
The more you get out in the world, the more you will be able to focus on what’s going on around you and not just your thoughts.
15) Celebrate yourself and who you are
Finally, to stop thinking about your ex with someone else, you need to celebrate yourself and who you are.
You might have just broken up with your long-term partner or short-term partner. No matter what the relationship was, you are still worthy of love.
You are still a special person who deserves to be loved and appreciated. So, make sure that you celebrate yourself and who you are.
Breakups hurt, but there’s no reason to let them keep you down. There’s also no reason to spend your time pining after your ex when there are other people out there who could treat you so much better.
It’s time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over with a clean slate! Although you might not think so now, you have a bright future in front of you romantically speaking.
So, those are 15 practical tips to help you stop thinking about your ex with someone else.
Your relationship ended, but that does not mean that you need to be miserable, sad, and lose your self-esteem.
Stop thinking about your ex altogether by healing from the pain of your breakup and helping yourself move on!
There’s no better time than now to start living the life you want as well as saying goodbye to your past and hello to a better future.