14 ways to win back an ex who is with someone else

Do you regret breaking up with your ex and want to win them back?

Do you want them to leave their new partner for you?

These 14 ways have been tried and proven to work time and time again.

Read on if you’re ready for some simple steps to victory!

1) Be sure it’s what you really want

Before you start breaking people up, you need to be sure that you really want to get back together with your ex.

You need to ask yourself if, after everything that you’ve been through with them, you’re ready to give the relationship another shot.

Be absolutely sure that this isn’t a passing feeling because you’re scared or lonely.

The best thing would be to give it some time. Don’t be rash. Think about it for a while, don’t make such big decisions on a whim.

Once you’ve taken the time to think about things without being emotionally mixed up, you’ll be in a much better position to make the best decision for both of you.

2) Find out if your ex still cares about you

Now that you’re sure you want your ex back, you need to make certain that they still care about you.

If you were together for a long time, it’s quite probable that they still have feelings for you, even if they are with someone else.

However, it’s also possible that they’ve moved on and are planning on getting married to the person they’re with.

Or maybe they have made it very clear that they want nothing to do with you.

The bottom line is that you can only get your ex back if they still have feelings for you. You can’t force someone to love you.

3) Consult a relationship coach

While the steps in this article will help you win back your ex, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like an ex who is with someone else. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) Think about why you broke up in the first place

If you want to get back together with your ex and you want the relationship to work this time around, you need to think about what was wrong with your relationship the first time around.

Ask yourself: What were the main problems?

On the one hand, if you broke up because of something that is no longer an issue, then it makes sense to pursue your relationship.

For example, you were very much in love but the timing just wasn’t right – one of you had to move across the globe for work or studies. Or, maybe one of you wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship.

On the other hand, if the reason you broke is still an issue, then you won’t ever be able to fix things between you.

For example, if the reason you broke up had nothing to do with time or scheduling and it was because one of you wanted to have children and the other didn’t,  then those issues aren’t going to miraculously go away once you get back together.

So, before you steal away your ex from their current partner, be sure that this time round you can make it work.

5) Stay friends with your ex

If you want to get your ex back, the key is to maintain a relationship of some kind with them.

Here’s the thing: You need to be present in their life, even if it’s just as friends. So, be friends with them. Keep in touch, text each other, talk on the phone, and get together occasionally. Whatever feels right to you, as long as you’re still in each others’ lives.

The point here is to keep your ex thinking about you and to remind them of how much they love being around you. After all, you don’t want them to forget about you.

What’s more, if you’re friends, you’ll be able to find out how serious their new relationship is and everything that goes on.

6) Remind them about the good old days

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You need to remind your ex of all the good times that you had together.

Think back to all the great moments you shared and tell them what you loved about them and why they’re still in your heart. The more time that passes, the more distant those memories become, so remind them of how special they were.

For example, you can send them a photo from a trip you went on together and write, “Was going through some old pics and came across this photo. Remember how much fun Thailand was?”

Or when you meet up for coffee, remind them of some funny situation you found yourselves in when you were together. It will give you something to laugh about and a chance to bond.

7) Address old issues

In my experience, if you want to get back together with your ex, then you need to communicate on some level.

You need to talk about what went wrong in the relationship and where you both stand now.

Address the issues that broke you apart in the first place and see if there was anything that was misunderstood or if either of you made any poor decisions.

If you can move past these problems and have a heart-to-heart, this will help build trust between the two of you, which is an important part of any relationship.

8) Flirt

Flirting is one of the most effective ways of getting someone’s attention and letting them know you’re interested in them.

You see, if you want to get your ex to leave the person they’re with, you need to let them know that you’re still into them.

And how do you do that? By flirting of course!

Now, you want to start out very innocently and let your flirting develop into something more. You can start off by saying things like:

“Hey, you’re looking really good today.”


“I’ve wanted to talk to you all day.”

By being subtle and playing it safe, your flirting will be effective and they’ll be more ready to open up to you.

Flirting can be a great way to get your ex thinking about you again, because flirting is the ultimate in confidence and seductive charm.

It can also be a great way for getting your ex to feel attracted to you again.

9) Show them you’ve changed

There are always reasons why people end a relationship. Sometimes it’s because one person is too clingy, or they’re not interested in the same things, or they can’t make the relationship work because of their job.

If you want to get your ex back, then you need to show them that whatever issue brought the relationship to an end isn’t an issue anymore.

So talk to them about what happened last time around and how you feel now. Let them see that you’ve changed and become a better person.

10)  Start dating

If you really want to get your ex back, then you need to start dating again. You need to show your ex that you’re moving on with your life.

Here’s why: If they see that you’re dating other people, they’ll realize that they could lose you forever.

If they have any feelings left for you, they’ll question their own relationship and whether they want to be with that person or get back together with you before it’s too late.

11) Be there for them

One of the best ways to get back together with an ex who is with someone else is to be their friend, their confidant, their shoulder to cry on.

You should always be supportive and non-judgemental.

When they have trouble in their new relationship, you want them to feel like they can talk to you about it.

If their new partner wants them to change or to do something unreasonable, you should let them know that you’re on their side, and that you’d never ask such a thing of them.

And the best part?

The more they confide in you, the deeper your relationship will become and the harder it will be for them to go back to their current partner because they’ll see how much better your friendship is than what they have now.

12) Work on your appearance

You want to make sure that you look your very best every time you have to see your ex. You want them to remember what they loved about you and what they’re missing.

In fact, you don’t want them to think of you as the same person that they broke up with, but instead a better, improved version of yourself.

Do whatever you need to do and spend some money on a new wardrobe and make-over if you have to, in order for your ex to see how much better off they’d be with you.

13) Enjoy the single life

Instead of sitting at home, moping around and waiting to get back together with your ex, you need to go out and enjoy life.

You need to go out with your friends and have fun. You need to meet new people.

Let me explain why. By doing this, you’ll not only feel more confident, but you’ll also be able to stay positive about the whole situation.

It could be easy to get caught up in being miserable and spending all day dwelling on your ex, but by focusing on your own happiness, you can make it so that there won’t be a reason for sadness or bitterness.

What’s more, when your ex sees how well you’re doing and how happy you are living your best life, they’ll be more attracted to you than ever before

14) Consider moving on

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Finally, if your ex is really committed to staying with their new partner, then they’re obviously happy with their new life and they’ve moved on.

In this case, I think it’s best that you start seeing someone else too.

If you’ve really tried all of the above and your ex is obviously happy in their new relationship, then it’s time to move on and find someone who can make you happy.

It’s important to try to mend things, but also to know when to let go.

How to know your ex still loves you

If you’re still hung up on your ex and want to know if they miss you, here are signs your ex may still have feelings for you:

They keep texting you

If your ex is constantly texting you to “check in” and to see how you are doing, this could indicate that they still have romantic feelings for you.

They’re curious about your love life

When you begin dating again and seeing someone new, your ex will get curious and will want to know who you are seeing and what they are like.

They’ll keep inquiring about your dates and how they’re going.

What’s more, they’ll keep finding faults with the person you’re dating – they’re not smart enough, they’re not good-looking enough, they have a boring job – you get the gist, basically they’re not good enough for you.

This is a surefire sign that they still have feelings for you.

They want to be friends

If your ex wants to be friends after a breakup instead of completely letting go, there could be feelings of love still lingering.

Try getting back into each other’s lives as friends first and see if the friendship can lead back into something romantic.

They get really happy around you

If your ex gets really happy around you, especially if they don’t normally get this excited around friends, then there’s a chance that they still have feelings for you and want to reunite.

They keep asking your friends about you

our ex will want to know everything about how your life is going and what you’re up to.

If they don’t get that information directly from you, they’ll ask your friends and family. A clear sign that they still care about you.

They’re active on your social media

Another sign that your ex is not over you is when they’re suddenly all over your social media.

Now, they’ll start liking all your photos and posts. And that’s not all! Your ex will basically be stalking you via your account and commenting on everything.

Nothing says “I love you” like a little bit of cyberstalking.

They reminisce about the good old days

Every time you meet your ex for drinks, they end up talking about how great things were back when you were together.

They’ll bring up happy memories from the past and make it seem like there could be a future together.

The bottom line is that if your ex talks about the past a lot, you might as well take that as a sign that they still love you.

They come to your aid when you need help

If you are struggling in any way, you will notice that your ex comes to help and make sure that everything is ok with you.

They’re there for you no matter what and you know that you can count on them even if you’re no longer together.

Your chemistry is off the charts

You and your ex always had amazing chemistry.

Even now, whenever you see each other you feel an incredible connection and they feel it too. This is a sign that you two are fated to be together.

You have fun together

You always end up spending more time together than you planned.

When you see each other, be it for coffee or for lunch, you always end up spending more time together than expected because you have so much fun together.

You get along so well and it’s easy to talk to one another.

Clearly, there’s still a connection between the two of you.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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