16 signs your breakup is temporary (and what to do to get back together)

They say that breakup can be hard to get over, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

However, there are also indications that your breakup is just for the meantime, and won’t be too long for you to be back in each other’s arms.

Minding these factors may also save you some pain as well as potential heartbreak.

If you’re determined to get back together with your ex, we’ve collected 16 signs your breakup is temporary and what you can do to make it happen.

1) The two of you are still talking to each other

While your ex may have moved on and you may feel that you’ve moved on, it’s important to learn from past mistakes, especially in romantic relationships.

If you talk about your ex often or get caught up in old habits frequently with no progress, there is a possibility for reconciliation.

Keep in mind that consistent communication is key to better communication—that’s what makes couples real happy together.

Maybe it is still in your system to reach out to them at the end of the day just to spend a little one-on-one time before you go to sleep.

Try to reach out to your ex or keep in touch with them at least once a week and see where it goes.

This is especially true if you still talk about the things that you’ve shared together, especially the good ones!

As mentioned above, remember not just the bad but also the good times that you had together.

Remembering these positive experiences will help counterbalance all the negative feelings associated with your breakup.

2) Your ex has grown out of their childish attitude

If you thought the breakup was mutual but truthfully you initiated it, you might sense that your ex will act childish hinting that they are not ready to move on.

Perhaps this is the first time they have faced a true challenge and they might not be ready to accept the challenge that is your relationship yet.

It all comes down to how they cope with the pain of being rejected.

Some people are able to put on a brave face and act as though nothing happened when you break up with them, while others continue to be distraught about being discarded by you despite your thoughts of moving on.

If your ex is acting immature, you may be the one who really has moved on and they just can’t seem to get over you.

They may also interpret your rejection as a rejection of them.

Be careful, though, once you see that your ex has grown mature and has put aside their childish ways to deal with the breakup, you may be the one who begins to think twice.

Work on growing up together for your own sake and for the sake of your (second chance) future together.

3) What would a relationship coach say?

While the signs in this article will give you a good idea about whether your breakup is temporary, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you to get back with your partner.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

4) They are taking time away from you as a means of testing their options (which is good)

Depending on what their reasons are for taking time away from you, it could mean many things.

But keep in mind:

Do not take it personally.

Do not feel like you are back at square one.

Do not simply consider it “back and forth.”

Do not ask: “Why aren’t you calling me anymore?” or “Why did you cut off contact?”

It may be a good thing that they took time to look at their options, but the next step should come naturally—appearing to want to get back together with you in some way.

On the other hand, if you have been chronically communicating with them, you may be feeling insecure about being abandoned or that this is all a big game and that they’re just playing with your emotions.

You can remedy this by trying to remain calm and realistic about the situation. If they do return your calls, give them the benefit of the doubt and don’t ask why they haven’t called you back.

Stay patient and if they want to get back together, things will happen naturally—you never know what may go down!

If you are developing negative feelings about the situation, remember that communication is also important.

You don’t want to be too blunt or too presumptuous in trying to contact them and start things off wrong.

5) They are acting like your relationship is normal again

When you have been together for a long time, even if you are ending the relationship or getting back together, there may still be some emotional attachment from the past that lingers.

This may also be because of feelings of insecurity and, or insecurity about them moving on if you start dating someone else.

You might find them acting more reserved than usual, sometimes acting distant especially when they are around their friends and other people that they used to spend time with (such as your family).

Do you want to know why? This might be because they are trying to figure out if there is any potential for getting back together.

This could also mean that your ex is keeping up appearances.

If you have been constantly communicating with them, your ex may know that you are still interested in getting back together with them and just want to maintain the relationship until the time is right for them to present a better opportunity for you to get back together.

They may be using their friends and family as a buffer from emotional pain at this time, so let them have their own ways of figuring themselves out after the breakup.

6) They start seeking you out in one way or another

This happens when they start to miss you and they want a part of you back in their lives, this could be physically, emotionally, or mentally. If they are hoping things will go back to the way they were before or that it’s not “over” for them, this is a positive sign.

It is often a good sign if you have been constantly communicating with your ex and have been hung up on them since the breakup.

Honestly speaking, if your ex does not want to talk about their feelings, it may be a sign that they do not want to get back together with you.

It could also mean that they are not ready for a relationship right now, so it’s best to be patient and wait until they’re ready.

They might just need some time to figure things out and move on at their own pace. However, if they are constantly pushing away your offers to talk with them or back off from communication altogether, this might be because they have found someone else.

Either way, this is a signal that the relationship between you and your ex is not over.

7) They want the relationship but want to take the relationship slow (which could mean several things)

If your ex wants to keep talking but wants to take it slow getting back together with you, well, this certainly means that there is still something for you two.

They may still have feelings for you and they want to take the time to see if they can rebuild a relationship with you. If they are asking questions about you, this will give you hope that things could possibly work out between the two of you.

However, if your ex wants to keep talking but doesn’t want anything serious between the two of you, this could mean that your ex does not feel comfortable with moving on.

People who remain single for too long sometimes start to develop feelings for the people who were in their lives before but now are gone.

Keep in mind that when you rush back into the relationship, you may destroy the good memories and feelings that you made in the past.

So while being apart, appreciate the little efforts they do to make you feel special, they do care and they still want to be in your life. You may be surprised by all the things you are now discovering about your ex while apart!

But haven’t you thought about finding out more not only about your ex but about yourself as well?

Believe it or not, one of the most subtle ways to fix our relationship problems is to get to the root of the inner relationship we have with ourselves.

Sounds intriguing, right?

Well, I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy. As he explains, in order to understand our partners’ perspectives, we need to build a relationship with our inner selves first.

And guess what? This will also help you to understand why your ex is trying to take the relationship slowly.

Check out the free video here.

8) They start trying to be “friends” but are not able to get over you

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In most cases, if your ex tries to be friends with you, this means that they want to keep the lines of communication open so they can know how you are doing and continue to have a friendly relationship with you.

This could also mean that your ex wants things to go back in time when nothing happened and everything was the way it was before.

However, if your ex’s behavior starts changing towards you (for example there is no more flirting or touching), this may be because their intentions have changed for staying in contact with you.

It may be that your ex is trying to find a way back into your life but they feel uncomfortable with getting back together.

Things can change in a matter of minutes, so it’s best to try to keep your eye open for proof of whether or not something is actually happening between you two.

You have the final say on whether to agree to their invites to hang out or not. If you do agree, be sure to keep things casual and stay away from any serious conversations if you can help it.

It may just be that they want to enjoy the time they have left with you while they still have it.

9) They start to contact you more often

If your ex is back into the picture, they will probably start contacting you more often than they used to. This is because they have had time to think about what happened and they missed you too much.

Most likely, your ex has realized that the breakup was a big mistake and they want things to go back to the way they were before it happened.

If your ex starts a lot of meaningless conversations with you on email or Facebook, this may also give you a clue that there is still something between the two of you.

This could mean that your ex misses talking or texting with you or maybe even seeing each other on a regular basis. When it comes to how long your ex will stay in contact with you, it can be hard to tell.

Once they have sent you messages or even call you often, don’t be surprised if they will ask to see you again or want to talk about getting back together. Pay close attention to whether you are being pushed away or not.

If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable around them, they may have other things going on in their life and they are just using you to forget what happened between the two of you. If so, you should cut the crap and move on.

10) They start to act differently

If your ex starts acting differently, this means that they still have feelings for you and want to get back together.

There are many ways to tell if your ex still has feelings for you, but sometimes there are no signs at all.

This is why it’s important to try to find these signs and take action immediately. The best way to get your ex back is by having a clear understanding of what you want from them and what they want from you.

I know it’s hard but, after a breakup, try to stop overthinking everything and start taking action.

Where and when you see your ex may be the most obvious way for you to know whether or not they still have feelings for you.

It should be clear that your ex wants to know that something is going on between the two of you and they want to feel close to you again.

This can be a sure sign that there are still feelings for each other in the relationship. This is why it’s important for both people involved in a relationship to communicate about everything that goes on within their relationship.

11) They act “cold” toward you

If your ex starts acting like they do not care about you anymore, this means that they do really want to get back with you but they are scared to act on those feelings.

They want you to know that they still have feelings for you but don’t want to show it right away.

Trust me, this is because even though your ex knows that there are feelings for each other, it’s not something that they can control and make happen immediately. They may be afraid of showing their true feelings or afraid of getting rejected because of their intentions.

This is one of the biggest signs that your ex wants to be with you again.

Even if they don’t feel comfortable showing how they feel, they definitely still do want this relationship because they can see that it’s working for both of you. It’s important to know what your ex wants from you and make them feel safe enough to say what they really want if this is the case.

12) They try to impress you

If your ex tries to impress you, this may mean that they still want things to go back to the way they were before. They want to continue their relationship as if nothing ever happened and are trying to convince you that everything will be great as if it was never broken up.

Maybe they are also trying to prove themselves or try to win you back.

There are many ways to see if your ex is trying to impress you:

  • They dress up nicely.
  • They try to be overly nice or helpful.
  • They try to get you to do things for them (under the pretense of being your friend).
  • They start doing and saying things that seem strange or out of character.

They want you to know that they want this relationship back, but they are trying their best to act as subtle as possible.

If your ex is trying to impress you in any way, ask yourself what they are trying to prove and why they might be doing it.

Remember that your ex is afraid of getting rejected so they have been trying harder than ever at showing you how much they care about you or how much they want this relationship with you.

If this is the case, send them love and appreciation for all their efforts and if you agree with me, ask for them to focus on themselves for a little while.

13) They try to make you jealous

Jealousy is a natural response to feelings of unhappiness, possessiveness, and insecurity.

You should be aware of when your ex is trying to make you jealous because that could be a sign that your ex still has feelings for you.

If your ex wants to get back together, they may be thinking of other ways to bring the two of you back together again.

They may even try to make you jealous by going out or making plans with someone else.

This will make you feel insecure and upset about the end of your relationship as it makes you think that your ex is no longer interested in being with you or seeing you. It’s important to accept that this has absolutely nothing to do with you and that your ex is looking for something else.

Truth be told, there’s a fat chance that they still like you and they want to see if you feel the same way too.

It’s important to know what your ex really wants from the two of you so it will be easier for both of you in the future.

If your ex is trying to make you jealous, try to focus on yourself, not them, and use these emotions as a tool to bring yourself closer to understanding your ex’s ways in getting your attention.

14) They get mysterious

If your ex gets more and more mysterious, this means that they are feeling guilty about ending the relationship.

Acting mysterious is your ex’s way of getting you to pay attention to them because they want you to come back into their life.

Or, it means that they want to keep you out of their life for a little while just so that you won’t be asking about where the two of you stand.

Your ex may be hoping that if they don’t answer your calls or texts, you will feel like leaving them alone for a little while making them occupy your thoughts.

If your ex tries to be mysterious, it may also mean that they are trying to see if you still have any feelings for them.

They may be thinking of ways how they can win you back or want to feel closer to you.

They may try to make you think that they are over the relationship themselves so that they do not feel guilty about being too secretive or hurt over something in the past.

This is one of the biggest clues that your ex wants to get back together again because it means that they have strong feelings for you but do not know how to show these feelings just yet.

15) You see old pictures of you two together

Now this one’s really hinting that your breakup is just temporary: if your ex brings up an old memory that the two of you shared or a picture of the two of you, they definitely still want to be with you.

Your ex may be online posting pictures or sharing songs that will make you remember the good ol’ days.

Your ex may also bring up old memories that you had together as they try to show the two of you that there is no need to break up because it could still go back to the way things were before if they only just try hard enough.

However, it’s important to know that your ex may not bring it up on purpose because they may have been hurt too much over the relationship, and will most likely make them feel guilty for wanting something else.

This is why it’s important for you to talk with your ex about what they want from the relationship again and if they could see themself in a relationship with someone else.

16) They seek out a loyal friend or family member to talk to about the relationship

One of the biggest signs that they want to get back together is if they seek out a friend or family member that they are comfortable with, to talk about you and your relationship.

This could mean that your ex is trying to get another opinion from someone in order to understand their own feelings on what is going on. They may think of you in a different light and want to hear it from someone else who is much closer to you than they are.

If your ex wants to get back together again, they will want to hear exactly how you felt about them and how they felt about the two of you.

If your ex would rather talk with their close friend or family member, it’s time for both of you to talk about getting back together again and see what can be done next in order for things to be better.

Final words

You see, ending a relationship and moving on is not always easy. That’s why most breakups are only temporary.

But if you think yours is not, then the guidance of a professional will surely help.

Brad Browning, an expert at helping couples move past their issues and reconnect on a genuine level made an excellent free video in which he reveals his tried and tested methods.

So if you want a shot at making your breakup temporary, then you need to watch relationship expert Brad Browning’s free video right now.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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