Being ghosted by someone you like? 9 smart ways to respond

We’ve all been there. You finally meet someone that you like, and they seem to like you back.

They’re flirty, attentive, and seem to be really into you. And then one day, you don’t hear from them at all.

They ghosted you!

Ghosting is when someone pretends to be interested in you but abruptly stops replying to your messages or calls without any explanation whatsoever.

It’s frustrating, confusing, and downright weird.

So what do you do? What should you say to your ex when they ghost you? Should you just accept it?

Here are 9 smart ways to respond if you’ve been ghosted by someone that likes you.

1) Don’t take it personally

Have you ever gotten into a relationship with someone who seems like they are the perfect person for you, only to have them go silent and disappear for no reason?

It’s a frustrating and, oftentimes, very hurtful experience.

Some people get scared when things start to move too quickly. As scary as this is, it might be that the person is just not ready for another relationship.

But guess what?

The truth is that even if someone has ghosted, it’s all about them and not you.

It’s not about you! It’s about them. It’s they who have a problem, not you.

Why am I saying this? Let me explain.

If someone ghosts you, it means that their values are different from yours. You just couldn’t agree on the way to go about things.

Maybe they don’t really like you after all, and they just didn’t want to deal with you anymore.

But you know what?

You can’t change that person. But you shouldn’t change yourself too. Why?

Because that’s who you are. And if that relationship didn’t work, don’t let it break you. You’re not the one who messed up.

You can’t be upset at someone for showing you that they’re not interested in dating you.

So don’t take it personally.

You can’t control what someone else does, so don’t let it get to you.

2) Keep your cool (And play it off like it’s no big deal)

Yes, that’s true, dealing with the fact that someone ghosted you isn’t easy. In fact,  it’s very frustrating.

But you can’t let that get to you.

You can’t let it ruin your life. It’s not worth it, right? So no matter how much you’re feeling hurt, don’t let it affect how you act in front of them and how they react to you.

The truth is that it’s important to keep a level head when you’re ghosted by someone that likes you, because if you act too upset or angry, then they will think that you are the one doing the ghosting.

If that’s what they think, then they won’t ever call or message you again (and who knows what could happen next).

So make sure that if someone ghosts you, it’s not an indicator of how much of a bad person you are.

So, even if you’ve heard this advice a million times, here’s what to do:

To keep your cool, be strong, and keep a level head. You have to keep logically thinking about things and not let yourself get swept away by the situation.

You might feel like this situation is getting out of hand but don’t let that stop you from handling things in a logical way. Be strong and just tell yourself “it’s not my problem”.

I know it sounds harsh, but if they don’t want to be with you, then they don’t want to be with you. And you shouldn’t waste your time worrying about it.

3) Don’t panic

I know. Being ghosted by someone you like can be pretty painful.

You feel like you’re being ignored, and you feel like there’s no one to talk to about the situation.

You feel alone, and you don’t know what to do. You may not have anyone who understands your situation and is willing to lend an ear or offer advice.

Does this sound like you?

Then I’m going to give you some straightforward advice.

Don’t panic about your situation!


Because there’s always a way out of this loneliness if you’re willing to take the necessary steps towards healing yourself.

So how can you deal with it being ghosted by someone you like?

Just try to keep calm and don’t panic. There are a lot of reasons someone might ghost you, and the most common one is that they’re just not interested in you anymore.

They might be having a hard time, or they might not be ready to commit to a relationship.

The thing is, there’s always another way out of this situation if you’re willing to put in the work.

What you need to do is keep your cool and do the things that are going to help you heal from this heartbreak.

Here are some things you can do:

  • Get clear on what went wrong: When someone ghosted you, it’s easy for them because they didn’t give any explanation as to why they ghosted you.
  • Do not let them get away with this! You need to make sure that you understand exactly why they did it and what their intentions were.  You’ll be able to figure out if they were being honest with themselves when they ghosted you or not.
  • You may also want to ask them questions like “What happened? What made you change your mind?” or “Are we still together?”

If they can’t give a clear answer,  then it’s probably a good idea to end the relationship.

Either way, it’s not as if you’re going to get any happiness out of being ghosted by someone you like.

So why would you want to keep trying?  You should just be happy that you got another chance at happiness—and be glad that they gave it to you!

Don’t panic and don’t think negatively about yourself either. Instead, make yourself focus on what’s good about your life.

4) Be patient

Let me guess.

Instead of being patient, you’re trying to get in touch with this person over and over again.

I know the feeling. It’s really hard to be patient when you’re aching for someone you like.

But this is exactly what you need to do.

If you want to get in touch with them, then be patient and wait for the right moment.

I know it’s hard, but if you want to get in touch with them, then it’s better that they make the first move.

So what are you going to do about being ghosted by someone you like?

Here’s the tip: give them space and some time to process what’s going on in their life.

Even if they never come back, at least you’ll know that they got the chance to make their peace with whatever has been holding them back. And that’s a good thing, right?

So,  don’t forget the following tips:

  • Understand that they’re not being mean or nasty.

They’re probably just in a really bad place and need some time to come to terms with it.  It’s a good thing that they did give you the chance to show them that you’re worth more than whatever is holding them back.

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  • Give them space (at least until they decide to give you their attention).

If they don’t contact you in a week, then it’s probably safe for you to assume that they’ve moved on from whatever was bothering them.  And if this is the case, then it’s probably for the best for both of you because nothing will ever be better between the two of you than what already exists.

  • Remember that there are always ways out of this situation if you keep looking for your happiness—no matter how long it takes.

It’s not as if you’re going to get any happiness out of being ghosted by someone you like.

So, try to be patient and let them see that you’re worth more than whatever is holding them back.  It’s not going to be easy, but believe me when I say that it’s worth it!

5) Have faith in yourself

If you feel about the fact that someone ghosted you, I bet you’re pretty bummed out.

But remember that it’s not the end of the world.

It’s really not.

That’s why I need to have faith in myself.

Remember that you’re an amazing person and deserve better than being ignored by the one person who seemed like they really wanted to see where things could go with you.

So, you know what?

Don’t let the fact that they ghosted you get you down.  You have so much to offer this world, and if someone doesn’t see it, then it’s their loss, not yours.

And even if they do see it, but don’t want to be with you because of something that happened in the past, then at least you know for sure that you’re worth more than whatever is holding them back.

So how can you overcome this insecurity that’s been nagging you?

The most effective way is to tap into your personal power.

You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We stop doing what brings us true happiness.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.

He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.

Because true empowerment needs to come from within.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.

So if you’re tired of living in frustration, dreaming but never achieving, and of living in self-doubt, you need to check out his life-changing advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

6) Don’t ghost them back

This is probably the most common way that people try to get in touch with someone they like.

They’ll send them a message and then decide that they’re never going to hear from them again.

But guess what?

That’s not really the best way of doing things, is it?

You should at least give them some space to make some decisions in their life before you decide to ghost them.

And if they do eventually come back, then it’s better that you’ve given them time to reflect on what’s happening in their life rather than deciding to ghost them right away.

And don’t think that you can ghost them and then get in touch with the same person later on because it won’t work like that!

You’ll just be hurting yourself by doing this. And hurting yourself for no reason at all, too!

So why would you want to hurt yourself like that?

Because you’re afraid to face the truth?

So when someone ghosts on you, don’t try to get them back – it won’t work like that!

Instead, just learn from their actions and move on with your life. Don’t hold a grudge against them or let them ruin your future by being in the past.

You need to start being happy with who you are because, in the end, no one else can do that for you but yourself.

7) Send the last text and get over with them

Another common mistake that many guys make is that they’ll send the last text message or email to their ex-girlfriend/boyfriend and then try to get them back.

But let’s be honest. That’s a bad idea, too.

If you want someone to come back, why would you keep on talking to them?

And why would you keep sending them messages after they’ve decided that they don’t want anything more to do with you?

It’s not really a good way of doing things, is it?  You’re actually hurting yourself by doing this. And hurting yourself for no reason at all!

So why would you want to hurt yourself like that?  Because you’re afraid to face the truth and admit that the relationship isn’t working anymore?

And therefore it’s better for you if your ex doesn’t come back into your life anymore (even though he/she might still be in love with you)?

That’s a really sad way of thinking.  You need to be happy with who you are and what you’re doing in life. And stop trying to get your ex back just because you’re afraid to accept that the relationship is over.

Just send the one last text and make sure that you don’t contact them anymore.

And then move on with your life.

8) Enjoy the fact that they left you

You’ve been going out with someone for a few months and things are going really well.

You text them all the time, you share personal information, and you feel like you really know what they’re thinking.

But one day, they just disappear.

They stop texting back and they never answer your calls or texts. You’re left feeling confused, hurt, and angry.

But here’s one thing you should remember:  They left you because they weren’t the right people for you.

Your relationship was going the wrong way.

And what’s better, now you have the chance to find someone new and build a relationship with them that will last.

You’ll be able to love and care for someone else, and you won’t ever have to worry about the pain of being in an emotional relationship with someone who didn’t want to be there anymore.

So enjoy that they left you.  Because you’re much better off without them.

9) Don’t overthink and start meeting new people

You know that you’re in love with your ex.

But you also know that the relationship wasn’t working for you.

But then, one day, you start to think: “Maybe it was me who wasn’t right for him/her. Maybe I’m not good enough.”

You start thinking like this: “Maybe they didn’t want to spend more time with me because I wasn’t attractive enough or interesting enough.  I wonder if they’re thinking about me now and missing me.  Maybe I should try to make myself more appealing to them.”

And once you start thinking like this, it’s really hard not to feel like a loser.

You don’t feel good about yourself anymore, and it’s no longer fun in your life.

You have no friends and nobody is interested in spending time with you anymore because of those terrible thoughts about yourself.

You feel so bad all the time that you just want to end it all.

But you shouldn’t overthink this.

You are not the problem here.  You’re not the reason that they’re not interested in being with you anymore.

You’re not the reason that they don’t want to text you anymore and call you back.  You’re not the reason that they didn’t want to go out with you anymore, and now they don’t even want to see you again.

You shouldn’t allow those thoughts in your head to continue and make things worse for yourself.

Just because your ex isn’t texting or calling you back doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or that there’s something wrong in your relationship, it just means that they don’t want to be with you anymore and their priorities have changed – just like yours has changed!

So don’t stay sad just because of one person who isn’t interested in being with your anymore.

Start meeting new people.  Meet new people in your area who are interested in meeting you and being friends with you.

Meet new people who are interested in dating you, and let them know that you’re single again and that you’re looking for someone to go out with.

Meet new people who are interested in getting to know you, and ask them if they’d like to hang out sometime.

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You’ll feel better about yourself when there’s someone else in your life, or when there’s someone else who cares about you enough to want to spend time with you.

That will help you feel better about yourself because it means that someone cares about what happens to your life and wants to have fun with you!

Final thoughts

When someone you like ghosts you and cuts ties with you by simply disappearing, chances are that you’ll feel bad.

But as you can see, there are a lot of smart ways to respond instead of feeling bad, overthinking, or trying to get them back desperately.

So just remember that you’re not the problem here, and you’re not the reason that they ghosted on you.  You’re not the reason that they don’t want to hang out with you anymore.

Trust me, that way, you’ll easily get over being ghosted and move on with your life!

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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