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I’m so tired of living: 7 key steps to start loving life again

I’ve been exhausted lately. Not just physically exhausted, but emotionally and spiritually drained.

I’ve just felt tired of living. I’m all tapped! I got nuthin’ in the tank.

I’m sure you’ve felt this way before. Where it feels like you’re running on a treadmill — going nowhere fast.

But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to feel that way. There’s hope.

When you feel that life has kicked you in the shins, here’s what you can do to find joy in living again.

Signs you’re tired of life

Before we get started, I want to say that there is a difference between “tired of life” and “tired of living.” I’m talking about being exhausted by life to the point of indifference to what it brings.

It can go further than this though, can’t it? You can be so tired of life that you can seek self-harm or have suicidal feelings. If you are suffering from serious depression or thoughts of self-harm, please seek medical attention immediately.

If, instead, you’re finding that life has become a grind and that you’re pretty much pooped out — and you’re looking to be re-energized, then look no further! I got you covered.

It’s pretty easy to spot the signs that you’re tired of life once you know where to look.

Here are eight key signs that you’re tired of life.

1) You’re exhausted, even though you slept for ages

It doesn’t make sense. You got your full eight hours, or nine hours, or (could it be) 12 hours, and you still feel tired as hell. While this can be a sign of major depression, it can also be a sign that your life isn’t on the right track, and you’re not excited to greet what it has to offer.

2) Your passion doesn’t bring you passion

What used to fill your mind with excitement now only brings cursory pleasure. If you’re a writer, nothing comes out of the pen but mindless ink. When you’re a photographer, nothing you capture is worth printing out. If your passion feels dispassionate, you’re probably tired of life.

3) You daydream constantly

Do you find that your mind wanders far from what you’re supposed to be doing? If you’re at work, you’re dreaming of that vacation — or that job you wish you had. If you’re alone in the apartment, you’re dreaming of having friends over. Constant daydreaming is a sign that you’re not satisfied with where your life is currently.

4) People drain you

You used to be able to handle whatever people threw at you — even those grating conversations with Barb from accounting (jeez Barb, I’m working on those invoices!). But now, even the slightest conversation leaves you pooped. Even discussing lunch options with your coworkers is a chore.

5) You’re quick to anger

Your fuse has become short or nonexistent. You’re blowing up at the slightest of things. What’s happened? In short, you’re overreacting. Why is this happening? Because you’ve expended all your energy already. You don’t have any spare energy to stop yourself from exploding. You need to recharge.

6) You want to be alone all the time

You used to be a social butterfly, but now all you want to do is hide out by yourself. Unfortunately, society doesn’t work that way, and you’re forced to deal with more and more interaction, which suddenly feels overwhelming. This, of course, further pushes you toward isolation.

7) You’re stuck in a negative thought pattern

Positivity seems impossible. If someone cuts you off on the drive to work, you stew on it all day. You ruminate on negative memories and emotions until you’re a stew of anger and resentment. You’ve begun to view life as only one thing: ugly.

8) You’re empty

You feel like a shell of yourself. Nothing brings a reaction. You simply shrug it off with a “nothing matters” attitude. It all feels pointless, and you can’t even muster the ability to fake it anymore.

Why you’re tired of life

There are many reasons why your life has pushed you to the point of exhaustion. Life is — literally — the hardest thing you’ll ever go through.

The good news is that you’re not suffering alone. Many people have felt (and will feel) the same forms of frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness that you’re going through.

Here are some reasons why you’re tired of life.

1) You lost someone you love

It could be your partner, your child, your parent, your pet, or your closest friend. Loss takes many forms. A withering breakup can be just as devastating as an unexpected death.

Regardless of how the loss occurred, the result is the same: a strong feeling of emptiness, confusion, and abandonment.

Loss is painful. It’s crucial to allow yourself to grieve. There’s nothing weak about it, and there’s no right way to grieve. Allow yourself to feel your pain. Embrace it as valid.

2) You’ve lost your job

Losing a job is one of the most stressful things you’ll go through (along with the death of a close family member and divorce).

On top of that, it can be embarrassing.

Even if it was a layoff, you often feel a sense of abandonment.

If you were let go because you weren’t performing at the company’s desired level, you can feel like a failure.

It’s hard to talk about this feeling, as society can be very judgemental.

You just need to be both honest with yourself as to why you left, and understand that that opportunity wasn’t right for you. Your skills will find alignment in a new job!

3) You’ve been cut off from your social group

It could be because you moved, changed jobs, had a friend leave town, or because the whole world shut down (thanks 2020).

Your social ties are a critical component of your life satisfaction.

When you aren’t able to foster these ties, you feel isolated, adrift, and depressed.

4) You’re living the life society demands of you

Society puts a lot of pressure on us.

Our parents want us to excel in school.

Society wants us to get a high-paying job, get married, have kids, buy a house.

But what if this isn’t what you want to do? If you find yourself having a picture-perfect life but still feel so unhappy, it might be because it’s not picture-perfect for you.

5) You’re juggling too much

You’ve got a huge deadline at work. You haven’t bought the Christmas presents yet. You’re falling behind on your bills, and (to top it all off) your washing machine just broke.

You’ve got bad news flying at you from all directions.

No reasonable person could be expected to handle all this. You’re juggling too much. What you need to do is figure out what you can afford to drop.

Focus on what’s critically important, and leave the rest until later.

6) You’re struggling with mental illness

Mental illness can be exacerbated by any of the aforementioned reasons, but sometimes it crops up on its own for no discernable reason.

If you’re feeling deeply anxious (irritable, nervous, hypervigilance) or depressed (intense sadness, loss of enjoyment of life) then you very well may benefit from speaking with a medical professional. Mental illness doesn’t have to define you.

Take the first step to healing by reaching out!

Reasons to keep on living

Losing your vitality can be overwhelming. It sometimes may feel impossible to move forward. When you feel this depression and malaise, it can be very helpful to think about the reasons why life has so much to offer.

Here are a few reasons why life is worth living.

1) Your life has value

I don’t remember where I first heard this, but someone once told me “human life is non-negotiable.” By this, he meant that you can’t try and quantify the value of human life in terms of dollars, man-hours, or any other unit.

Life is a gift. It is a gift we cannot replicate, return, or extend. Life cannot be measured in dollars, contributions, sex partners, promotions, houses, or awards. So why are you measuring your life in relation to these?

Life is an indescribable state that we were given. Celebrate that! Your life has value because life has value. And your value cannot be compared to anyone else’s.

Enjoy it!

2) Life is dynamic

Life isn’t a static object.

It’s a dynamic state.

We move through time as a delicate symbiosis of zillions of cells, chemicals, memories, and electrical impulses that mystically create consciousness.

This state is changing constantly. Our cells slough off, and new ones are created. Our personalities change. We are ever-evolving.

Just as we are ever-evolving, our ecosystem is ever-evolving. That crappy coworker who’s here today could be somewhere else tomorrow.

My point is: you’re in a bad state for now.

But you’re not in a bad state forever. You weren’t always feeling tapped, right? So it stands to reason that this won’t last forever either.

Understand that this is a temporary state of suffering — one that you can overcome.

3) You don’t need a magic purpose to be happy

Hey, finding your life’s purpose is great. It can motivate you, impart you with a feeling of fulfillment, and improve your quality of life.

But don’t destroy yourself while searching for it.

Sort of like trying to find a husband on your first date, going into any activity hoping it will become your “life’s purpose” is a recipe for disappointment.

So many of us make ourselves anxious and practically sick by trying to find the “perfect” while ignoring the “good.”

Here’s a secret: you don’t discover the perfect. You build toward it.

I too used to be obsessed with finding my purpose. I was agitated when my efforts refused to bear fruit.

But then I had a miraculous and profound conversation with contemporary shaman Ruda Iande.

He taught me that I was looking at purpose all wrong — as something I needed to find, grab, and own. Instead, I needed to look at my life (and therefore my purpose) as to how I could simply contribute to making the world a little better.

He told me: “Purpose is something different. You don’t need to change the world. You just need to shift your perspective, from ‘what you can take from life today’ to ‘how you can contribute to life today.”

How to love your life again

When you’re so drained from life, it can feel like you’re never going to experience joy again.

The good news is that is not true! You will recover! You have the power to bring yourself back into the light.

Here are six ways that you can love your life once again.

1) Let go of living your life for other people

The first thing that you can do is make sure that you’re living your life for yourself. I don’t mean this in a selfish way; I mean make sure that you’re not conforming your entire existence to the wants of someone who is not you. Are you working a job you hate because your parents demanded it? Recognize that! Then, make a plan to change it. Figure out what it is that you value, and ensure that you are living your life centered around your values first and foremost.

2) Remember what it was like to be happy

Take a minute and think back onto the things that brought you joy. Was it spending time with your loved ones? Was it being back in your college town, where all of your favorite places were in walking distance?

Figure out all the elements that were united when you were truly happy: your job, friends, hobbies — all of it. And then —

3) Figure out what’s missing

Examine what your life is missing in relation to that time when you were happy. Perhaps it’s that you’re stuck at the office 12 hours a day, and now you can’t enjoy your favorite activities any longer. Maybe it’s that you moved cities and you’re too far away from your loved ones. Once you figure out what’s missing, you can figure out how to start loving life again.

4) Set some goals

You figured out what’s missing, now it’s time to get those missing pieces back in your life. One of the most successful ways to change your life is through proper goal setting. There are lots of popular methods for goal-setting, and many of them revolve around chunking your larger goals into smaller goals. That way, you can chip away at your goals in easy steps. It’s a lot less daunting to “look at house listings” as a goal as opposed to “buy a new house.”

5) Reach out to your social group

Friendship is a powerful force. It makes us feel connected and valued. Studies have consistently shown that friendships boost your sense of purpose and belonging. When you’re feeling tired of life, reaching out to your friends can be a valuable lifeline. They’ll be able to help you sort through your complicated emotions — and will also make you feel more tethered to life simply by hanging out with you. Send that text. Reach out today.

6) Get some exercise

I am a firm believer that exercise can help nearly any problem. Within 5 minutes of moderate exercise, your mood boosts quite significantly. You don’t have to go out running a marathon; even a brisk walk will elevate your spirits. You’ll help organize your thoughts, banish ruminations, decrease anxiety, and increase endorphins. If you’re feeling listless, get out and get going!

7) Talk to someone

If you are still feeling tired of life, then it might be time to talk to a professional. Setting goals, relying on friends, and exercising are all great, but sometimes that’s not enough. In those cases, it is critical that you reach out to a medical professional to help you through these taxing times.

Tap into your personal power

I’ve been where you are. I was tired of life. Nothing I completed felt like it had any meaning. My relationships felt empty.

I couldn’t help but think: is this all there is to life?

That’s when I met with shaman Ruda Iande. He helped me realize that I tied up my self-worth in societal-made prison-like structures. Through his help, I learned how to break free of these negative thought patterns, align my life around my true nature, and enhance my constructive power.

I’d like to share this breakthrough with you.

Ruda now has a free Masterclass called From Frustration to Personal Power. It’s a groundbreaking class where Ruda teaches you how to break through of society’s constraints and embrace your innate power.

In the class, you’ll learn to align your life around the 4 pillars of family, spirituality, love, and work — helping you balance these main responsibilities.

This class fundamentally changed my life. I’m so excited to share this possibility with you.

Join me and learn how to love your life again.

You can love your life again

Being tired of life is a natural state. It’s not a fun one, but it’s not one you have to go through alone.

With a little introspection, some support, and redirection, you can get yourself out of this negative state and back on the road to creating your own happiness.

Written by Nathan Dennis

Nathan Dennis is a Manhattan based playwright and poet of Floridian extraction. A graduate of NYU Tisch Department of Dramatic Writing, he served as a Rita and Burton Goldberg Fellow, and was awarded Outstanding Writing for the Stage in Spring of 2015. His most recent play, Lord of Florida, was workshopped by PrismHouse Theatre Company in the Fall of 2017.

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