How to deal with fake family members

How to deal with fake family members

Do you know what’s the worst? When you realize that someone you trusted has been faking their intentions towards you all along.

And things get even more complicated when that someone is your family member.

Fake family members will pretend to care about you and love you, but in reality, they just want something from you.

So, how do we deal with this kind of situation?

Read on for advice on how to deal with fake family members.

How to identify fake family members

Have you ever noticed that your family members will pretend to be nice to you when your friends or relatives are around, but turn into completely different people once they’re alone with you?

Or maybe you simply feel that your family members don’t really care about you.

In that case, there’s a big chance that they’re fake.

Still, it may be difficult to identify fake family members at first, especially if you have a good relationship with them.

So how can you identify them?

The first thing you should do is to look at their body language – Are they looking at you with genuine interest? Or are they just pretending to listen to what you have to say? Their behavior should be consistent with their words.

If someone is always nice to you when others are around, but starts acting differently once people leave, then this person is probably a fake.

People who are genuine will treat you the same way regardless of whether or not other people are around.

And another way is to keep track of their actions – What do they do when no one is watching?

Do they stick around and help out when something bad happens in your family?

Or do they disappear as soon as possible?

If a person only pretends to care about your family and doesn’t actually help out when it matters, then chances are he or she is a fake.

But you know what?

The most obvious sign that you have a fake family member can be found in your own emotions. If you feel that there’s something off about your family member, then it’s probably true.

Does this sound familiar?

Then the following question will naturally come to your mind:

What to do when you realize that your family member is faking their intentions toward you?

Let’s see how to deal with fake family members.

10 things you can do to deal with fake family members

1) Don’t completely cut off contact with this person

Do you think that cutting off contact with this person will solve your problem?

If so, you should know that this is not going to work.


Well, because it’s not that simple. And most importantly, stopping to communicate with this person is not going to solve the issue – they will still be there, in the back of your mind, making you feel bad.

Most of the time, people who are faking their love for you will not disappear just because you cut off contact with them. They’ll still be around, and it’s very likely that you’ll run into them again.

So what should you do instead?

You should react!

Instead of completely cutting off contact with this person, you should try to react to what they’re doing.

This means that if you notice that your sister, brother, or mother is faking their love for you, you shouldn’t just ignore them and hope that they’ll eventually leave you alone. You should do something about it.

You should find ways to deal with this person in a way that makes them realize what they’re doing – without making them feel bad about it or without hurting your relationship with them.

What can you do?

You can tell him or her the truth!  You can tell him or her how much their actions hurt you and make sure that he or she knows how wrong it is to act fake towards others.

2) Set boundaries and don’t tolerate disrespect

If you’re a person who tends to agree with social norms, chances are that you haven’t even thought about setting boundaries and protecting your own needs.

Why so?

Because you believe that family members should stand together and respect one another, right?

But what if this person is disrespecting you?

What if he or she is acting fake towards you and making you feel bad?

What if this person is hurting your feelings on purpose?

However, you should know that it’s important to protect yourself and your feelings. If you don’t set boundaries, you’re going to end up feeling hurt and used by other people.

This means that in this case, you should set boundaries and draw a line for this person. You should make it clear to him or her that you won’t tolerate disrespect. You should let them know that they can’t treat you like that.  And if they do, they will be punished accordingly.

This is how to deal with fake family members in a healthy way – by setting boundaries and showing them who’s the boss!

After all, there’s no point in tolerating disrespect from anyone – whether it comes from a family member or not.

So don’t tolerate it! Draw the line! Set boundaries!

Still, sometimes you can’t manage to forget about what’s socially accepted and behave according to your needs.

But what if you could change this norm and let yourself feel better about your life?

The truth is, most of us never realize how much power and potential lies within us.

We become bogged down by continuous conditioning from society, the media, our education system, and more.

The result?

The reality we create becomes detached from the reality that lives within our consciousness.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.

A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.

He doesn’t paint a pretty picture or sprouts toxic positivity like so many other gurus do.

Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards and confront the demons within. It’s a powerful approach, but one that works.

So if you’re ready to take this first step and align your dreams with your reality, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

3) If possible, spend some time alone with this person

Let me tell you the truth.

Sometimes, spending some time alone with a family member can help you to see things in a different light.

You’ll be able to see beyond their fake behavior and understand what lies beneath it.

And with that, you’ll also be able to see how best to deal with them and how to reconcile any problems they’ve caused you or your family.

You’ll be able to recognize when people are trying to manipulate you and why they might be doing it. You’ll be able to tell if someone is genuine or not, which will help you decide how to deal with them.

How can you do this?

Well, try to spend some time alone with this person. Go for a walk together, have dinner together, or just sit and talk.

The key is to make it a one-on-one situation so you can get to know them better.

So, try to arrange a time when you can be alone with your fake family member and get to know them a little better.

4) Don’t let them manipulate you

If you’ve been dealing with a fake family member for a while, they’re likely to have mastered the art of manipulation.

You see,  if you’re a good manipulator, you can control people by playing with their emotions.

You can play the victim role, the innocent role, and even the martyr role to get what you want. And if you do it well enough, people will fall for it every time.

So you know what?

You should try to avoid being manipulated by this person.

Don’t give them power over you!

Instead, take charge and don’t let them get to you.

If they start playing the victim role, don’t fall for it. Tell them that they need to stop blaming other people for their problems.

Remember – when someone is trying to manipulate you, their intentions are never good. So don’t fall for it! Take control of the situation instead!

It’s not easy to do, of course, but it’s worth it.

After all, this person is your family member, and if they’re trying to manipulate you, you’ll have to deal with his situation every time you see them.

So, try to stand up to them and set some boundaries.

Here are some tips on how to stop the manipulation from your fake family member:​

  • Speak up and say what’s on your mind. Tell them how they make you feel and how they affect you, whether it’s good or bad. This will help them see things from your perspective, which could open up the lines of communication between you two.
  • Don’t fall into their traps. If your family member is being manipulative towards you, they will likely try to make excuses or play the victim role. You don’t have to fall for it! If they start to play this game, tell them that you’re not going to be manipulated and to stop blaming other people for their problems.
  • Stop trying to fix them. If your family member is manipulative and has serious issues, it’s likely that they’ll try to get you involved in their problems. But you shouldn’t let them do this! If they ask your advice or if they try to get you involved in their drama, tell them that you don’t want to be a part of it and that they need to sort out their own issues.

5) Be very careful about sharing personal information

pexels fox 1595388 1 How to deal with fake family members


Let me ask you a question.

How often do you share personal information with your family?

I’m talking about things that are going on in your life, like your relationship issues, money problems, and other life problems that you’re dealing with.

If you’re like most people, then you probably share a lot of this information with your family members.

But guess what?

If you’re dealing with a fake family member, then this is a big mistake!​

Why? Because if you share too much personal information with them, they might use it against you. And the more personal information they know about you, the easier it is for them to do this.​

For example, if someone in your family knows about some troubles that are going on in your relationship then they might use this against you to get what they want.

That’s why you should try to be very careful about what you share with your fake family member.

The best thing to do is to keep your personal information very close to your chest!​

And I know that this is difficult to do. But if you can do it, then you will be able to protect yourself from the manipulation and lies that are coming from them.​

6) Empower yourself

When you start to notice that you have fake family members, you’ll probably start to find ways to change them. But have you ever thought about fixing a problem in yourself?

After all, there has to be a reason why your family member is being fake towards you, right?

So what can you do to empower yourself when dealing with a fake family member?

Begin with yourself. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isn’t working.

And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential. He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to improve your relationship with people who are close to you.

So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

7) Find support from people who care about you

What is the main reason why you want to deal with a fake family member?

Because your family members should be giving you support and love. But instead, they are not.

But you know what?

This one person isn’t the only person who can support and love you.

You can find support from other people who are close to you.

And that’s exactly what I did when I was dealing with a fake family member. And to be honest, it helped me a lot!

I found support from my friends and I found out that they are more than willing to accept me for who I am.

And guess what?

Despite the fact that they’re not blood-related to me, they still accepted me and loved me unconditionally.

So don’t be afraid to find support from people who care about you. They’re just like you! And it’s a great way of finding out whether or not your family member is fake.

8) Openly communicate with your fake family member

I’m sure you want to make a difference in your fake family member’s life. You want to inspire them and show them that they can be their true self, right?

So it’s time to open up. It’s time for you to start communicating with them openly. And do not be afraid of what they might say in return!

Just try to communicate with your fake family member and tell them how you feel.

Tell them that you’re tired of having to deal with their fake persona. Tell them that you want them to be who they really are.

It’s time for you to take a stand and open up! It’s time for you to show them who you really are!

Think about how other people treat you when they know that you’re different from them. They’ll probably avoid talking with you or even avoid eye contact. And this is exactly what will happen if your fake family member knows that he is being fake towards you.

So if this is something you want, you can’t let this fake family member see you falter. You need to go ahead and open up. And don’t be afraid to tell them whatever you think!

9) Don’t give up on them completely

You may have tried everything, but nothing has worked out so far, right?

Well, that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing else left for you to try! In fact, there’s one more thing:

Every fake person is, deep down, a kind person with the potential to be genuine.

And you can still see their true self if you just look deep inside of them.

Well, there’s only one problem with this:  you may not be able to spot it. But that doesn’t mean that your fake family member is fake. It just means that they’re buried deep inside of themselves and are trying to hide from the world.

If you’re willing to keep trying, then I’m sure that your fake family member will be willing to let themselves be seen for who they really are as well.

So don’t give up on them. Just let go of your expectations of them and try to find the real person that is hiding inside.

10) Remember: They’re only faking it because they want something

You’ve been trying to communicate with your fake family member for a while now, but something is still holding them back.

Maybe it’s that they don’t want the attention of their fake family member, maybe it’s that they don’t want to be seen as a fake person, or maybe it’s that they’re afraid of what their fake family member might say in return.

Well, I have some advice for you: don’t expect them to give in just because you’re being nice to them. Just let go of your expectations and stop trying so hard to force them!

This is the last step in our guide. But I think it’s very important. So please take a moment to realize it.

If your fake family member is truly like the rest of us humans, then they have the ability and will to be genuine when they want something from you. That’s why they’re faking it in the first place!

So stop giving up on them just because they’re behaving differently than how you expect them to behave. Just remember:   they’re only faking it because they want something from you.

So make sure to express that they’re not going to receive this something by faking it.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, you already understand how to identify a fake member and have developed some ways to deal with them.

All in all, your family members might fake being nice to you, but after all, they’re your family. This means that you will need to stay in touch with them for the rest of your life.

So just remember:  don’t give up on them because they’re not being themselves. Just be yourself and let them see who you really are. That way, you can help your fake family member realize that being sincere is the only right way of living.

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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