While your feelings of love are never going to disappear, you can learn how to detach from someone who is not good for you anymore.
This article will teach you how to find some closure after the end of a relationship and teach you how to live with an open heart and mind.
1) Can you fully stop loving someone?
Let’s start with the big question right off the bat: can you actually stop loving someone?
It’s possible to stop loving someone, but when you truly loved them on a deep level, you will only stop being in love with them, but you’ll always love them.
That’s actually the beautiful thing about strong, healthy relationships.
When they end, you might stop being in love with the other person, but you will always carry them in your heart and want the best for them.
However, it can be hard to stop being in love with someone. Here are a few steps you can take to make that process a whole lot easier:
2) Learn how to let go
If you’re wondering how to stop being in love with someone, the first thing you want to do is learn how to let go, which is easier said than done.
The best way to do this is by writing down everything you loved about them and why you loved them.
You can also write down all of your favorite memories with them or things that they taught you, so that when you look back at the letter, it will make you remember what a great person they were.
This will help you move on from loving them and give yourself time to heal.
Now that you’ve written it down, you can tell yourself that it’s okay to let go now, the memories are preserved if you ever feel the need to revisit them.
It can be difficult to let go, but once you do, you’ll feel a sense of relief.
3) Start taking care of yourself
The next step to letting go is to take care of yourself.
Give yourself the time, space, and resources that you need to heal.
The most important thing is to maintain a good sense of self-care.
You see, when you take care of yourself, you are teaching your body that it’s not lost, not abandoned, and not alone.
You are there to take care of it and you will make sure that you are in a good place.
Things you can do to take care of yourself after that pain are:
- seeing a therapist
- journaling
- talking to friends
- spending time alone
These things will provide the necessary tools to truly heal the wound inside of you.
The thing is, you will need to heal those wounds before you can actually move on. If you don’t, you will carry these unresolved feelings into the next relationships.
5) Treat yourself well
After you’ve taken care of yourself, it’s time to move on and treat yourself well.
This is an especially important step if the person you loved was in any way not treating you well.
The best way to do this is by focusing on your own happiness.
Spend time doing things that make you happy and maybe even take a break from dating for a while in order to fully focus on yourself.
When you’re feeling good about yourself and your life then it will be easier to start opening up your heart again.
By treating yourself well, you get a chance to fall in love with your life, which means you can slowly fall out of love with your ex.
Do the things you never did for yourself in the past, splurge yourself a little!
- get a new haircut
- find your style and get some outfits you like
- workout
- find a hobby you enjoy and make time for it
These things will help you fall in love with yourself and shift the focus away from the other person.
6) Find closure
One of the best courses of action after a breakup is to find closure.
Closure will help you finally let go of those intense feelings of love you have for your ex.
But sometimes you aren’t in a position to get closure from them, so what can you do then?
Well, you can give yourself closure.
Think about it this way: they did not want to be with you, they didn’t wholeheartedly choose you, isn’t that already closure enough?
There is someone out there who you will not have to convince to stay, someone who loves you for who you are.
If they can’t do that, then they’re not the one for you, as much as you might love them.
You may still feel intense feelings for your ex, but as time passes, you’ll see that these feelings begin to subside.
It’s important to do things that make you happy and remind yourself that life goes on.
That way, you can eventually turn the page on this chapter and start a new one.
7) Take time to grieve
One of the most important steps to move on is to take time and grieve. Take a few weeks or months and focus on yourself.
It’s okay to be sad.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay to want them back.
But, it’s important that you don’t give up on yourself or your well-being in the process.
What you need to understand is that it’s not your fault.
You didn’t do anything wrong, and they aren’t too good for you; they just aren’t ready for a relationship right now.
They might come back, but if they don’t, you will be okay.
You will survive this heartbreak and find someone who deserves your love and attention more than anyone else ever has or ever will.
Too many people skip the process of grieving, which actually does nothing but pent up their emotions even more.
Allowing yourself to truly feel all the pain and heartache from them leaving is what will ultimately set you free.
You see, as soon as you surrender to an emotion, you let it go.
So: stop fighting it and let yourself grieve the fact that you aren’t with the person you love anymore.
It’s okay.
After you have grieved you can pick yourself up again, don’t worry.
8) Heal your heart and mind
As humans, we are never going to stop loving someone.
But, you can learn how to heal your heart and mind.
In order to do that, you will need to put in some work. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be a nice distraction to take your mind off everything that’s happened.
Here are some ideas to help you get started:
1) Take a day and focus on yourself, pampering yourself with the things you love.
2) Take up a new hobby, or start working out again – you’ll feel better about yourself and be more attractive to others in the long run.
3) Go out with your friends, have some fun!
4) Get a new hairstyle, or try out a new makeup look.
5) Look into volunteering, or even starting your own project that you’re passionate about.
6) Go on a trip, even if it’s just to the beach for the weekend.
7) Learn something new online or in-person – it’ll get your mind off things and give you something to do with your time and energy!
All of these activities will help you slowly but surely heal your mind and heart from heartbreak.
I mentioned earlier how the help of a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about how to stop loving someone.
You could analyze the signs until you reach the conclusion you’re looking for, but getting guidance from a gifted person will give you real clarity on the situation.
I know from experience how helpful it can be. When I was going through a similar problem to you, they gave me the guidance I sorely needed.
Click here to get your own love reading.
9) Learn how to live with an open heart and mind
After being in a long-term relationship, it can be hard to open up to someone new.
You might find yourself holding back your emotions or feeling like you’re not ready for another relationship.
It’s totally valid to not be ready for dating just yet.
But it’s also okay to start dating, and you don’t have to jump right into another relationship if you don’t want to.
It’s important to understand that while your feelings of love are never going to disappear, you can learn how to detach from someone who is not good for you anymore.
But how can you open up your heart again after it’s been hurt so badly?
Well, you will need to come to the realization that living with a closed heart is so much more painful than living with an open heart.
I don’t know about you, but if I had to choose between:
Loving someone fully and experiencing the whole spectrum of emotions that my human brain can comprehend,
or
Feeling numb my entire life, never letting myself feel anything because that means I can’t get hurt
I will always choose the first option.
I see it this way: we have no idea why we are here on this planet, all we know is that we are here to experience this life.
Now: I don’t know what will happen after we die, so I want to experience this life to its full extent, leaving nothing out.
If that means I will feel pain in exchange for some of the most beautiful memories of my life, so be it.
Maybe you can shift your mindset to that and it’ll help you open your heart.
10) Let go of the past
Knowing that you can never go back to who you were before is the first step in moving on and living an open life.
It will be difficult, but it is essential to start letting go of the past.
Once you let go of the past, you will be able to focus on yourself and your needs.
Your relationship is over and once you learn to accept that, it will be easier to fall out of love with your ex.
It’s a process, but it’s one that you can do on your own.
When you’re ready to move on, it’s okay to start dating someone new.
You don’t have to jump into another relationship right away, but don’t let yourself get stuck in the past.
11) Spend time with friends and family
A common misconception is that we need to be alone when trying to move on from a breakup.
Although spending time by yourself can be beneficial, it’s also important to spend time with friends and family.
Spending time with people who care about you allows you to let go of the relationship even more.
It gives you an opportunity to talk about your feelings, which helps you move on.
It’s not always easy though. Some people may feel embarrassed or ashamed of the breakup, so they might avoid seeing friends and family members.
But if you want to move on from the relationship, then it’s important that you speak up and say how you’re feeling in order to heal.
Lastly, spending time with loved ones will remind you of all the good things in your life right now!
They can help you feel good about yourself, and it’s nice to see that there are still people who love you unconditionally, no matter what!
12) Figure out what you want in love now
Before you can move on, it’s important to figure out what you want in a new relationship.
Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself about your needs and wants.
You see, after a relationship you have learned so much more and have made so many more experiences.
This will help you identify exactly what it is you want out of your next relationship!
That’s also the reason why I don’t believe in saying a relationship failed just because you broke up.
In my opinion, no relationship is a failure, they are all part of your learning process, teaching you something every time.
Figure out what it is you want now, and it will help you let go and move on.
Now you probably wonder what’s the best way to figure out what you really want in love.
Let me share with you what I did back when I was facing the same challenge.
A while ago, I struggled to understand what I really wanted in love. As a result of my confusion, I decided to talk to a relationship coach about my issue.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with such confusion too.
Even though I didn’t expect that I would get anything other than vague advice about abstract directions in life, a relationship coach that I spoke to gave me practical insights about what should I do.
Soon, I realized what I really wanted in love.
If this sounds appealing, maybe you should also try to reach out to them and get personalized advice about your love life.
13) Look at the good things in your life
It’s important to take some time to look at all the good things in your life before you can move on.
Take a few minutes and think about what you have going for you right now.
It’s important to remember that there are reasons why your breakup happened and what they were.
You just need to find it within yourself to see them and face them.
In this way, you can learn from your mistakes and move on from your relationship.
When you focus on the positive things in your life, you will notice that your life is not so bad, after all.
14) Find your passion and purpose
One of the best ways to find closure is by taking time for yourself.
When you invest in your passion and purpose, it will allow you to move on.
There are many different things that can be your passion and your purpose.
Some people find purpose in things like helping others or a certain cause they care deeply about.
Other people find their passion in things like nature, art, or animals. There’s no right answer when it comes to finding your passion and purpose.
However, by investing time into something that makes you happy and gives you a sense of fulfillment in life, it will help you move on from the end of a relationship because you’ll be able to focus on other aspects of your life other than your feelings for that person.
Finding your passion and purpose will also expose you to the people that might be a better match for you!
Figure out what it is you love to do and regain your sense of identity!
Sometimes relationships can distract us from who we truly are and we stop doing the things we love.
Now is your chance to reclaim that fully and take all the time you want in order to focus on your passions.
It will get easier
Although you might never completely stop loving a person, it will get easier over time.
You will stop being in love with them, and then all that’s left are the beautiful memories.
And who knows, maybe at that point you can even be friends and be in each other’s lives!
