When you broke up with your girlfriend, you thought you’d be much better off without her.
You were daydreaming about all the things you wanted to do without her nagging you.
However, things have changed. You are now questioning your decision to leave her.
Were you wrong to leave her? Will you regret it?
Keep reading and you’ll find out!
1) It’s not the first time you’ve broken up
Have you broken up with her in the past, but now you think things will be different?
I’m sorry to break it to you, but chances are you’ll regret losing her this time, too.
I don’t know what happened between the two of you. Maybe you got into a huge fight and now you can’t stand the sight of her.
What I do know is that you will surely see things differently as soon as you calm down, or after you start doing what you thought you really wanted.
I mean, didn’t that happen last time?
Even so, feeling regret doesn’t mean you made the right or wrong decision.
Breaking up with her could be one of the 10 choices you’ll regret making a decade from now, or not.
There’s no sure way to find out the outcome of your situation. However, you should expect regrets to set in if you’ve been in this situation before.
2) You know you screwed up
Playing the blame game is definitely not a constructive thing to do. But, if you know you did something that hurt her, you might feel guilty about it.
Typically, when you make a mistake, you apologize for it. However, now you can’t because you left her, or you won’t because you think it would make no difference.
This right here is a sign that you’re going to regret losing her.
Although guilt and regret are two different things, they are closely connected to each other.
Basically, both mean that you blame yourself for something that you did or didn’t do and that you wonder how things might have been if you would have acted differently.
However, take a look at the bright side:
“Given how uncomfortable guilt can feel, it can provide a strong motivation to apologize, correct or make up for a wrong, and behave responsibly,” says an author for Psychology Today.
In other words, if you’re going to regret losing her based on feeling guilty, there are still things that you can do to fix the wrongs you’ve done or to overcome these feelings.
I have recently discovered a very helpful article about 17 ways to get your ex-girlfriend back that never fail. I recommend reading it if you ever decide to get her back.
3) You feel alone already
Admit it. You didn’t expect to feel lonely so quickly. In fact, you didn’t expect to feel lonely at all.
Come to think of it, you had lots of plans and you were really enthusiastic about them.
So, what happened?
Sociologist Robert S. Weiss has answers for you. According to his research, you have no less than 6 basic social needs that must be met in order to avoid feeling lonely:
- Social integration
- Reassurance of worth
- Sense of reliable alliance
- Guidance in stressful situations.
Now, ask yourself this, how many of these needs were met by your ex-girlfriend?
Yeah, I thought so. Therefore, if you already feel lonely, you could also be one step closer to feeling regret.
Don’t get discouraged, though. Sure, she met most of your needs, but something made you pull away.
In the meantime, you shouldn’t let loneliness or regret get in the way of figuring out what really made you decide to leave her.
Did she make you feel unessential?
Were your feelings for her overwhelming?
If your answers are positive, then maybe you should consider speaking to a professional relationship coach who will help you overcome this feeling of loneliness.
Relationship Hero is where I found a special coach who helped me in my toughest time. Their personalized advice helped me to realize I wasn’t alone after all.
As a result, I developed effective coping strategies and saved my relationship.
So, if you already started feeling alone, maybe you should reach out to them as well.
4) You start picking up bad habits
Have you already gained 4 pounds even though you were planning to hit the gym without your ex-girlfriend calling you all the time?
Are you used to drinking every day because you have nothing better to do?
Well, maybe I didn’t guess the bad habit you’ve gotten into, but I think you see where I’m going with this.
When you two were together, you used to daydream about hanging out with your buds for as long as you wanted or finally playing FIFA 22.
Now that you can do all these, they don’t appeal to you as much. Instead, you choose to behave self-destructively.
While I’m sorry to tell you that this is a sign regrets are imminent, I’m also happy at the same time.
Why? Because “the pain of regret can result in refocusing and taking corrective action or pursuing a new path,” says Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., a psychologist, author, speaker.
So, even if the signs point towards feeling regret, this may actually be a good thing for you.
It really depends on how you decide to handle this situation.
5) You stalk her on social media
Ask yourself these questions:
- If you no longer want her in your life, why do you keep checking her online profiles?
- If you are not in love with her anymore, why do you feel the need to see how she’s doing?
These seemingly harmless actions are not good for you and they indicate that you might feel regretful in the future.
While I understand that you can’t simply forget about her overnight, I also know it’s your indecisiveness that’s making you check her online profiles.
The brutal truth is you may be lying to yourself.
What are you telling yourself? That you’re just curious to see how she deals with the breakup?
Admit it, if she posts a love song, you immediately think it’s about you. Or, maybe you want it to be about you?
The same goes if she adds a picture of herself at the beach. You can’t help but make a mean remark about her having a nice time.
So, if you were serious about leaving her, keep in mind that looking at her posts and pictures is a bad habit that could lead to regret.
6) You’re still thinking about her sexually
The sex part plays an important role in most relationships.
It often happens for two people to be physically compatible and enjoy mind-blowing sex.
However, being physically compatible is not enough to keep a healthy relationship going.
I’m sure you already know that, but stay with me.
If you still desire your ex-girlfriend sexually, it means you’re going to regret losing her anyway.
Until you reach the same level of intimacy or sexual compatibility with someone else, she’ll always be on your mind.
The point? It’s normal to regret this part of your relationship if there was chemistry between the two of you.
Even so, it shouldn’t be the only reason to reach out to her again.
7) You feel overwhelmed with nostalgia
You and this girl were great together. So, what happened?
Lately, you keep remembering the good times you’ve spent together with her. You remember how charming she was and how much fun you two had.
You often associate tastes and smells with her, and catch yourself smiling without reason.
Nostalgia can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re struggling with getting over the breakup.
And, more often than not, these episodes lead to instant regret.
Looks like she wasn’t that bad after all, was she?
In case you’re sure you made the right call when you left her, and you still experience nostalgia, what you can do is think of a not-so-happy memory right after a good one.
I know this because this is something I experienced myself a while ago. Again, something that helped me to overcome those negative feelings was speaking to a professional relationship coach from Relationship Hero.
The insights I received form them helped me to understand why I was feeling overwhelmed with nostalgia after a breakup. That’s why I think taht they can also help you reflect on your feelings and react before it’s too late.
8) No woman arouses your interest
I bet you didn’t think this could happen to you!
Now that you’re free to ask anyone out, you can’t find anyone you like. Ironic, isn’t it?
When you were committed to your ex-girlfriend, you often saw attractive women that you felt compelled to talk to.
Because of your impulses, you ended up hurting her and maybe this was one of the reasons you dumped her.
What now, though? Are all the beautiful women hiding from you?
The explanation is simple.
Right after a breakup, numerous men aren’t able to find any other woman desirable because they are not over their ex-girlfriends yet, or because they’re scared.
Better Help confirms it:
“The inability to feel attraction to someone could be due to various factors, including sexuality, depression, or a lack of confidence in the ability to choose someone wisely based upon a previous relationship’s failure”.
In other words, if you relate, this could be a sign that you should either try harder to let her go or reconsider your decision to leave her.
9) She doesn’t want to talk to you
Women are advised to cut all ties with their ex-boyfriends if they truly want to get over the breakup.
This can not only happen to you, but it can also be a sign you’ll start regretting your actions sooner.
But there’s more. There’s another piece of advice that women often get when they want to get their ex-boyfriends back.
It’s called the No Contact Rule and you may have fallen into its trap.
What’s the No Contact Rule all about?
Basically, your ex-girlfriend refrains from using texts, phone calls, emails, and so on to contact you. She isn’t doing this because that’s how she really feels.
She’s doing this to lure you back to her.
In addition, applying this rule is really beneficial for her. Check out this comprehensive guide to understand her actions better.
So, if her silence is making you uncomfortable, you might regret leaving her and go back.
10) You can’t talk about the breakup
I’m sure some of your friends and family members know about the breakup. But, how many of them know the gory details?
If you’ve already opened up about what went wrong in your relationship and why you decided to leave, then you can disregard this point.
However, if you can’t talk about it or you feel highly uncomfortable when it comes to sharing details about it, it might be because you haven’t fully accepted it.
Sounds weird, right?
Thing is, you’re just protecting yourself from feeling hurt. That’s why talking about your recent breakup is not among your favorites.
While this makes total sense, it also points towards feeling regret.
To avoid it, have a heart-to-heart with yourself and identify the things that keep you from being at peace with your decision.
These questions might help:
- Were you angry when you left?
- Do you still think there’s hope to fix things?
11) Your ex-girlfriend is moving on
Unexpectedly or not, your ex-girlfriend seems to be moving on.
She looks great, goes out a lot, and she finally got that job that she wanted.
In a way, you’re happy for her. But, you’re also starting to feel all sorts of other emotions.
Are you jealous, or sad?
Seeing your ex-girlfriend happy might trigger feelings of regret, too.
Maybe you should have been the man next to her and enjoyed these happy moments together.
But, you can still consider yourself lucky because:
“Research shows that women have double the regrets and more anxiety and guilt than men after deciding to finish their relationship,” says Sherry Marshall, BSc, MAA.
In other words, you, as a man, can get rid of regret, anxiety, and guilt more easily than a woman can.
12) You’re tired of partying
You thought lazy weekends would disappear from your life forever, along with your ex-girlfriend.
But, that didn’t happen.
You imagined yourself going to party after party and having fun until the morning. After all, you’re young, energetic, confident, and you deserve to have fun.
I can’t argue with that!
But, that didn’t happen either.
If you’re already tired of partying, that’s definitely not a good sign.
Every person should keep themselves busy after a breakup. Having something to do helps with letting go.
In your case, if going out dancing was on top of your priority list and you easily got bored of it, then you should find something else to do.
The reason I’m saying this is because otherwise, you might switch your focus right back at your ex-girlfriend and soon start to regret the decision to leave her.
13) Your friends are always busy
Spending time with your ex-girlfriend made you miss lots of boys’ nights out.
So, naturally, as soon as you left her, you reached out to them.
To your surprise, they were busier than you expected, a fact which made you realize something important;
The guys were not as active as you thought they were. In fact, time was flying when you were with her.
Just because your friends are busier than you thought and they can’t hang out with you as often as you’d like, you might regret losing her.
- Because you’ll have more time to think about her.
- Because she was always available to hang out with you.
- Because, despite what you said, she was fun to be around.
Can you think of any other reasons?
14) You’re still in love with her
It’s time for you to be honest. I mean, really, really honest.
Are you still in love with her?
Maybe the reason you left her has nothing to do with her, and, implicitly, with your feelings for her.
There are many situations that could have made your relationship difficult.
What I’m trying to say is you could have 1000 reasons to break up with her and still love her.
If this is you, then you must know that feeling regret sometime in the future is possible.
To make matters worse, there’s really no way to avoid these types of romantic regrets either.
You could be the victim of a classic case of “right person, wrong time.”
15) You dream about her
It’s been months since you broke up, but you keep dreaming about her.
While you sleep, she sneaks up in your dreams and makes herself impossible to forget.
Is your mind playing tricks on you? I don’t think so!
I think this is a sign you’ve made the wrong call.
I want to let you in on a little secret.
The person who appears in your dreams could be your soulmate or twin flame.
Only the other half of your soul or a soul from the same soul family as yours has the ability to telepathically communicate with you.
In fact, on and off relationships are typical of twin flames.
So, next time you dream about her, pay attention to the way you’re feeling or what she’s trying to tell you.
I left her and I regret it, now what?
Before you make another decision, take your time to reanalyze your feelings.
Just because you can relate to some of the signs above, it doesn’t mean your decision to leave her was wrong.
Feeling regret is the worst. Even so, it shouldn’t be the only reason for you to get back together with her.
Ultimately, you’re the one who knows what happened between you two and if you’re able and willing to fix things.