16 critical reasons people run away from love (complete guide)

So you finally think you’ve found that special someone.

You have a lot in common. You have chemistry. You have fun together.

Everything is going well between you.

And then suddenly, they start to pull away.

If you’re completely stumped, I don’t blame you.

To find out what’s going on, here’s my list of 17 critical reasons that people run away from love:

Let’s take a look:

1) Things are moving too fast

Most of us have been there.


It’s the start of a relationship and it feels so good to be with the other person.

In fact, you don’t want to be apart.

And before you know it, you’re spending every spare minute together.

  • You’re always texting each other when you’re not together.
  • You’re sleeping over at each other’s place, you hardly ever get to sleep alone.
  • You’re making plans months into the future.
  • You’re talking about meeting each other’s families.

This all happens so fast and feels so natural that when your partner gets a minute to step back and reflect, they get overwhelmed.

It suddenly feels like too much, too fast. And they start to wonder if they’re doing the right thing by committing to you.

In essence:

I know that it might feel like they’re running away from love, but maybe your partner just needs things to slow down a bit.

If you feel like this is happening with your partner, give them the space that they need. If you don’t, you risk pushing them away even more.

2) They weren’t looking for something serious

We all want to find love, right?

To be with someone who makes us smile and laugh out loud, to find someone we share a deep connection with.

But, what if when we think we’ve found that someone, they start to pull away?

What if they say that they’re not looking for a serious relationship?


Maybe they were just looking for a casual fling when they met you and maybe things got a little too serious for them.

It doesn’t mean that they feel nothing for you, or that you don’t have a connection.

It just means that they’re not ready to commit to you right now.

In essence:

You need to talk about things and decide if you want to keep dating “casually” and see if they change their mind about getting serious at some point down the line, or if you should break things off now and avoid getting hurt and disappointed down the line.

3) Maybe you were too eager

Is it possible that your partner is pulling away because you’ve invested too much time and energy in the relationship? Were you too eager for the relationship to succeed?


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The relationship you have with yourself.

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Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s experienced the same problems in love as you and I have.

And using this combination, he’s identified the areas where most of us go wrong in our relationships.

So if you’re tired of your relationships never working out, of feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, this free video will give you some amazing techniques to change your love life around.

Make the change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve.

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4) They just got out of a serious relationship

You meet someone and you know that they’re the one. Your instincts tell you that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

They make you laugh like no one ever has, they share your interests and hobbies, and you feel so comfortable around them.

Everything feels right with this person and it’s so easy to fall in love with them.

And then they get weird.

They start to talk about how relationships are difficult and to talk about their ex.


If your partner was in a serious relationship for a long time, it’s possible that they’re not quite over it.

  • Maybe they need more time to heal.
  • Maybe they need to be by themselves for a while.

Or, maybe they just need you to be patient with them and take things slowly.

In short:

If your partner is starting to pull away, it could be because they just got out of a serious relationship and they need some closure.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to break up, you just need to be there for them.

5) It’s not what they were looking for

pexels rodnae productions 6669884 16 critical reasons people run away from love (complete guide)


Sometimes we see things the way we want to see them.

From my own experience, I know what it’s like to get carried away with your feelings.

You see, it’s possible that your perception of how great things were going was one-sided.

It can be difficult to admit this to yourself, but:

  • Maybe they just don’t feel the same way about you.
  • Maybe they want something else out of a relationship.

In short:

They’re not really running away from love, they just haven’t found it with you.

6) There’s no physical attraction

It’s sad but true:

Sometimes people are meant to be friends and nothing more.

What do I mean?

Well, it’s possible that your partner is pulling away because they are not physically attracted to you.

They think you’re great and they enjoy spending time with you, it’s just that they don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

In short:

They may like you a lot, but they just want to be friends.

7) It’s too easy

Ok, I know this may sound a bit strange, but, perhaps the reason they’re running away from love is that it’s too easy.

Let me explain:

You see, some people like to work for it.

They don’t think that things that are good or worth having come easily.

They like the other person to play hard to get and they enjoy the chase.

They need the other person not to agree to go out with them immediately. They like it if the other person is not sure about the relationship and they have to “convince” them that they’re meant to be together.

In other words, they like games and they like drama.

They want to feel like they’ve won you over.

In essence:

If you didn’t play hard to get, if you didn’t play their games, it could be part of the problem.

It’s just too easy and too good to be true.

8) Trust issues

Sometimes it seems that people are running away from love, but actually, they’re running away because they’re scared – because they have difficulty trusting other people.

What do I mean?

Well, it’s possible that they’re afraid of loving you too much.

They’re scared that their feelings won’t be reciprocated.

Or they don’t trust that you’re “really” into them and that you’re not out to hurt them.

You see:

It’s possible that growing up, their parents split up and it makes them have trouble trusting that some relationships work out.

In short:

They’re pulling away because they have long-standing issues with trust. It’s not that they don’t like you, it’s actually that they like you too much.

What can you do about it?

Well, it depends on how much they mean to you. If you really like them, I would advise sticking with them and showing them that love and trust between two people is possible.

9) Fear of rejection

Love can be scary sometimes.

What if you open up and let the other person in, only to have them reject you?

Rejection can be damaging:

  • It can make us feel like we’re not wanted.
  • It can make us feel like we’re not worth anything.
  • It can make us feel like we’re not good enough.

No wonder some people seem to run away from love. They’re scared of rejection.


There are no certainties in life (unless you count death and taxes) and love is no exception.

It’s a gamble. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But not everyone is ready to gamble.

In short:

The idea of getting rejected is just too scary for some people to accept, so they “run away” from love before they get in too deep.

They get out before the other person gets the chance to leave them.

Better safe than sorry.

10) Fear of getting hurt

This ties into my point above.


Falling in love is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person.

But for some people, it can be a terrifying experience that leads to heartache and sorrow.

They don’t want to give love a chance because they don’t want to get hurt.

  • What if they fall in love and it doesn’t work out?
  • What if they get betrayed?
  • What if they lose their loved one?

In essence:

They need to get over the fear of getting hurt in order to open up to love.

Show them love. Show them kindness and patience. Be gentle. Let them know that love is worth the risk.

11) Emotionally unavailable

pexels cottonbro 6603405 16 critical reasons people run away from love (complete guide)

Being emotionally unavailable can be difficult.

It can make it hard to interact with others, create positive relationships, and feel happy.

It can also lead to feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

Why are people emotionally unavailable?

As a result of how others treated them.

They were mistreated by someone who they cared deeply about. And now they don’t want to let anyone into their lives, lest that person mistreats them again.

You see:

Avoidance of love is a coping mechanism used to protect them from pain and suffering.

So if you think you’re dating someone who is emotionally unavailable, you’re gonna have a lot on your plate.

12) Low self-esteem

Sometimes people who sabotage relationships and seem to be running away from love are actually acting that way because they have extremely low self-esteem.

Let me explain:

People who don’t have a high opinion of themselves don’t see why someone else would like them.

They don’t understand that they have so many great qualities that could make someone fall in love with them.

There’s more:

They don’t think they’re worth loving because they are unable to love themselves.

In essence:

They’ve probably been mistreated so much in the past that they believe they are not worthy of love.

They can’t imagine why you’d want to be with them.

13) They don’t like to be vulnerable

Perhaps the most prevalent reason people sabotage relationships and run away from love is that they don’t like to be vulnerable.


Because they’ve been hurt or mistreated and they’re scared it will happen again.

By leaving themselves vulnerable, they are exposing themselves to more heartache.

  • They’re afraid you’ll abandon them if they let you in.
  • They’re afraid that you’ll hurt them.
  • They’re afraid of trusting someone.

You see:

When we fall in love, it’s the most vulnerable time of our lives. We’re all scared and excited, and we don’t know what to expect.

It can be tough to open up about our feelings, but we need to if we want to make this relationship work.

14) Their friends and family don’t approve

Have you considered that maybe your partner is pulling away because you don’t get along with their friends or with their family?

Did you tell them that you don’t like their friends?

Did you act like a snob around their family? Did you disrespect them somehow?


It’s possible that you did something to make the people closest to him disapprove.

And who are they going to choose? Someone they just started dating or people they’ve known their whole life?

Of course, they’re gonna pick the people they know best.

The people that support and love them unconditionally.

My advice:

The key to a successful relationship is showing respect for the other person’s friends and family.

You don’t have to be best friends, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be polite and make an effort.

15) They’re keeping their options open

Maybe the person you’re dating wants to keep their options open.

They like you, but not enough.

When things start to get serious, they pull away.


They don’t want to end your relationship, they just want to see if someone better will come along.

My advice:

Find someone who will love you and be happy to have you as their only option.

16) They don’t feel the same way

Finally, sometimes you feel a certain way about someone but they just don’t feel the same way. You’re in love. They’re not.

You’re planning a future with them, they’re planning an escape.


They like you, they care about you, and they’re attracted to you.

But they just can’t help but feel something’s missing.

I know this is hard to hear, but it’s best you find out sooner than later.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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