Why do guys want casual relationships? 14 big reasons

Finding the right guy to date can be hard enough. But when you add in the complication of wanting a casual relationship, things can get even more complicated.

So why do guys want casual relationships?

There are all sorts of reasons, but we’ve narrowed it down to 14 of the biggest ones.

If you’re trying to figure out why your man only wants a casual thing, read on for some insight on what might be driving his behavior.

What is the meaning of a casual dating relationship?

The idea of a casual relationship is one without the expectation of any serious commitment or plans for a long-term relationship. It’s a type of dating where there’s often like to keep things light and fun without any pressure.

There are lots of different ways to have a casual relationship, and it can be a great way to date around and meet new people without getting too attached.

You could be in a non-exclusive relationship or just hook up and have casual sex with someone you’re not dating.

This type of relationship can be really beneficial if you aren’t sure of what you want yet. It allows you to explore your options and figure out what you’re looking for without making any commitments.

What are the 14 big reasons guys want casual relationships?

There are all sorts of reasons why men might want to keep things casual. Here are 14 of the most common ones:

1) A guy is new to the world of dating

In reality, some men haven’t dated much or are new to the dating scene. They may have been late bloomers or they may have just never had much luck with women.

They may even be new to using a dating app where they could meet a casual partner for a fling.

For these men, a casual relationship can be a great way to ease into the dating world. It allows them to explore and test the waters and see what they’re looking for without getting too attached and invested.

2) He’s not looking to advance to anything serious

Some men just aren’t ready or looking for anything serious. They may be busy with their careers or just enjoy single life.

In addition, they could just be going through a tough time in their life and they’re not ready to commit to anything serious.

Whatever the case may be, there are plenty of guys out there who are perfectly content with just going on dates without the pressure of having an emotional connection in a relationship.

They’re not looking for anything committed or long-term, so a casual relationship is perfect for them.

3) He has the feeling he’s not yet over his ex

Breakups are never easy, especially if it wasn’t your decision to end things. It can take a while to get over someone, even if you were the one who ended things.

So if a guy is still hung up on his ex, it’s likely that he doesn’t want anything serious with anyone else.

In fact, casual relationships can be a great way for him to get over his ex and start moving on. It allows him to meet other people and have some fun without getting too invested or attached to anyone.

This way, he doesn’t have to deal with the pain and heartache of a breakup.

He can take his time before getting serious with someone else.

4) A guy’s been hurt, which affected his mental health

Similar to the point above, a guy who’s been hurt in the past may be hesitant to get into another relationship because it has affected his mental health.

It’s not uncommon for men to bottle up their emotions and keep them hidden.

This is because society has taught us that it’s not “masculine” to express our feelings.

But the reality is that everyone gets hurt and everyone needs someone to talk to. Just because a guy’s afraid of getting hurt again doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a relationship.

Think about that for a minute.

If you’ve been hurt before, would you be quick to jump into another relationship?

Probably not.

It’s the same for guys. They need some time to heal and recover from their previous relationship before they’re ready to get serious with someone else.

Heck, they might even be more cautious about getting close to someone else because he doesn’t think he can trust anyone again.

Whatever the case, he may now be gun-shy and only want something casual.

5) He doesn’t want to deal with the drama

Is it true that dating can be fun, but it can also be a lot of drama?

Of course, it can be!

There’s the drama of trying to figure out if you’re both on the same page, the drama of dealing with jealousy, and the drama of deciding when to have sex.

Believe it or not, that’s just the beginning.

The thing is, some guys would rather avoid all that drama entirely than deal with it head-on. It’s an easy way to avoid misunderstandings that could lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and broken hearts.

So instead of getting into another serious relationship, he may prefer to just date around and have some fun without all the complications.

6) A guy just wants to enjoy having the casual hookup

It’s no secret that men often seek out casual relationships. And while both sexes enjoy casual sex, men are more likely to engage in it.

Stay with me now, because this next point is really important…

It’s not that men don’t want to be in committed relationships. It’s that they want to enjoy their life as bachelors.

In other words, they like the idea of being single and having the freedom to do whatever they want, whenever they want.

And why wouldn’t they?

Being single comes with a lot of perks, such as not having to answer to anyone, being able to sleep around, and being free from drama.

This type of arrangement with women allows men to live out their fantasies without commitment or responsibility.

So it’s not that guys don’t want committed relationships, it’s that they’re enjoying the single life too much to give it up just yet.

7) He has concerns about communication, honesty, and respect

Another reason why guys want casual relationships is that he has concerns about communication, honesty, and respect in any relationship.

Here’s the thing: these three aspects are crucial for any relationship to work, whether it’s casual or serious.

Without communication, honesty, and respect, there’s simply no foundation for a relationship. And if there’s no foundation, then the relationship is likely to crumble.

When a man feels respected, he’s more likely to open up and be honest with his partner. Likewise, when he feels respected, he’s more likely to be communicative with his partner.

8) The guy has commitment issues

Many guys want to avoid commitment because they’re afraid of getting hurt or disappointed. They may have had a bad experience in the past or seen their parents and friends go through tough breakups.

The thing is, men are hard-wired to commit, but they could fear the unknown.

This fear can manifest itself in different ways, such as not being able to trust their partner, being afraid of getting hurt, or simply not wanting to be tied down.

pexels mentatdgt 1346197 Why do guys want casual relationships? 14 big reasons

Men want casual relationships because it’s easier for them not to have any responsibility or commitment.

They can simply walk away when things get tough or when they’re not interested anymore.

9) There’s no pressure to introduce you to his world

Being in an exclusive relationship often comes with a lot of pressure. For example, he may feel pressured to introduce you to his friends and family or take you on special dates.

With a casual relationship, there’s no pressure to do any of that.

Obviously, introducing you to people who matter in his life is a huge step. This is especially true if his family or friends have expectations for him.

But if he’s not ready for that kind of commitment, then he’ll likely want to keep things casual between the two of you.

10) A guy wants to focus on his career or hobbies

In today’s society, it’s not uncommon for men to want to focus on their careers or hobbies.

And while there’s nothing wrong with that, it can often mean that they don’t have time for a committed relationship.

Let me elaborate…

If a guy is really focused on his career, he’s likely to want to put all of his energy into that. And if he has hobbies that he’s passionate about, he may not want to spend time on anything else.

With that said, a casual relationship’s a perfect solution for a busy guy. He can still have companionship without having to make time for anything else.

11) He prefers to have a friends-with-benefits relationship

Some guys don’t want to hook up and sleep around with just anyone. But there are some who definitely prefer to hook up with friends.

And why wouldn’t they?

Friends with benefits have a built-in level of comfort and trust. They know each other’s likes and dislikes, which can make the experience more enjoyable.

Plus, there’s no need to worry about the awkwardness that often comes with one-night stands.

Moreover, aside from it being a way to casually date someone without having the pressure of a committed relationship, it can also help you explore your sexuality without feeling guilty or ashamed.

12) A man may think serious relationships are high maintenance

A man would go for casual relationships over serious ones for many reasons. But one of them is that he may think serious relationships are high maintenance.

Think about it…

When you’re in a committed relationship, there’s often an unspoken expectation to do things together.

Whether it’s going on romantic dates, taking vacations, or attending family gatherings, you’re expected to do things as a couple.

And even if you do things on your own, there’s this unspoken expectation that you’d eventually want to do things together.

All of this can be quite overwhelming for some men.

In contrast, casual relationships don’t have any of these expectations. You can basically do your own thing and not have to worry about what your partner’s doing or why they’re not doing it with you.

For him, it’s less commitment and he can come and go as he pleases without all the fuss.

13) He has relationship issues with himself

It’s not uncommon for guys to have relationship issues with themselves. In fact, it’s often the root of most problems in their relationships.

There are a few key things that guys need to work on in order to fix their relationship issues with themselves.

First of all, guys who struggle with self-confidence and trust often need to learn how to love themselves. If they don’t love and respect themselves, it’ll be difficult for them to do the same for someone else.

Secondly, they need to work on their communication skills. This means learning how to express themselves clearly and openly. Otherwise, it’ll be difficult for them to form meaningful connections with others.

Moreover, guys who are unable to put themself in someone else’s shoes tend to have more difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. They may not understand why their partner’s upset about something or how they’re feeling, which leads to more miscommunication and conflict.

And lastly, they need to learn how to be more assertive. This means learning how to set boundaries and stand up for themselves. Without this, they’ll likely end up getting taken advantage of or walked all over.

14) He doesn’t believe in relationship rules and boundaries

Some people believe in rules and boundaries when it comes to relationships.

They may have safer sex practices or time limits on how often they see each other. Others may be more emotionally intimate with one another.

When a man doesn’t believe in these things, it can often lead to him wanting a casual relationship experience.


Well, because he doesn’t have to deal with the hassle of following rules or boundaries that he may not agree with in the first place.

It’s easier for him to just do his own thing and not have to worry about adhering to someone else’s standards.

Love situations won’t be a win-win situation for him because he won’t be giving anything to the relationship.

This is why you often see guys in these types of relationships who seem like they’re not even trying or that they don’t care about their partners.

They’re just doing their own thing and enjoying the ride.

What benefits do men see in having a casual dating relationship?

There are many benefits for men when it comes to casual relationships. Here are a few of them:

1) It’s low commitment

Men, in general, tend to be more commitment-phobic than women. This is why a casual relationship may be more appealing to them.

There’s no need to worry about getting too attached or feeling guilty about not wanting to see the person all the time.

2) It’s less demanding than other relationships

As previously mentioned, casual relationships are generally less demanding than committed ones.

Planning for date nights, talking about feelings, and dealing with conflict can be tiresome. In a casual relationship, men don’t have to worry about any of that.

3) The options are convenient

For busy men, a casual relationship can be more convenient than a committed one. That’s because there’s no need to make time for the other person.

If he’s only seeing someone for sex, for example, he can easily fit her into his schedule without having to rearrange his life.

4) There’s less pressure to be on the same page

There’s a lot of pressure that comes with being in a committed relationship. Men may feel like they have to constantly impress their partner or live up to their expectations.

Let’s face it: you also need to live up to the expectations of those in her life, like her friends and family.

In a casual relationship, there’s much less pressure. Men can just relax and be themselves without the fear of judgment and feeling like they have to put on a show.

5) He can focus on other things

When a man is in a casual relationship, he can focus on other things in his life such as his career or hobbies. This is beneficial to him because it allows him to grow as a person without any romantic feelings that could get in the way.

Now, it’s not as if relationships won’t work out if he’s not completely fulfilled. It’s just that a casual relationship may have more of a chance of success than a committed one.

6) It’s less emotionally taxing

Emotional intimacy can be difficult for some men. They may not be used to talking about their feelings or sharing vulnerably with someone else.

Casual relationships don’t require a lot of emotion on his part, which can be a relief. They can just have fun and enjoy each other’s company without getting too attached.

7) He doesn’t have to worry about the future

When a man is in a casual relationship, he doesn’t have to worry about the future. He can live in the present and enjoy the moment without thinking about what’s going to happen down the road.

It’s a very low-maintenance way to have a good time.

8) He can pull the plug for whatever reason

The benefit of being in a casual relationship is that he can end it at any time for any reason.

If a man starts to feel like things are getting too serious, he can just walk away without any strings attached. This is something that would be much harder to do in a committed relationship.

9) It can be a self-esteem booster

A man who casually dates can benefit from the ego boost that comes with it. When he’s constantly being pursued by women, it can make him feel good about himself.

But that’s not all. The casual nature of the relationship can also make him feel more desirable and attractive. He can be seen as a catch, which can increase his self-confidence.

10) He can have his cake and eat it too

talking7 Why do guys want casual relationships? 14 big reasons

A man in a casual relationship can have his cake and eat it too.

What does that mean?

Well, he can enjoy the benefits of being in a relationship without having to deal with the negative aspects.

For example, he can have regular sex without having to worry about getting emotionally attached. He can also date other people, which can keep things exciting.

In essence, he can have the best of both worlds: the excitement of a new relationship without the commitment.

How long do casual relationships last?

Nowadays, casual relationships run and last from several weeks to even years. It all depends on the people involved and how they feel about each other.

Some couples may start as serial casual daters but then transition into a committed relationship down the road. Others, on the other hand, may decide to stay in casual relationships for the long haul.

It’s really up to the individuals to decide what they want out of the relationship and where they see it going.

How can you make a man want a serious relationship with you?

If you’re dating a guy who has been casually dating for a while, you may be wondering how you can transition into a more serious relationship.

The good news is that there are some things you can do to increase the chances that he’ll want to take things to the next level.

1) Talk about your relationship

One of the best ways to gauge where your relationship’s going is to simply talk about it. This can be done casually in conversation or you can sit down and have a more serious discussion.

Ask him how he feels about the relationship and where he sees it going.

If he’s not ready to commit, he’ll likely tell you. But if he is, this will give you a better idea of how to move forward.

Whatever his answer is, be ready to accept his current disposition and intentions.

Remember, getting into a committed relationship is a process. It won’t happen overnight.

2) Have more patience

If you’re eager to take things to the next level, it’s important to be patient.

Don’t pressure him into anything and give him the time he needs to make a decision.

Rushing things will only make him feel uncomfortable and less likely to want to commit.

3) Spend more time together

If you want things to get more serious, you need to start spending time together. This means making time for a random phone call while at work, regular dates and outings, as well as having more intimate conversations.

It’s also important to spend quality time together without distractions. This means putting away your phones, turning off the TV, and really focusing on each other.

This mindset in this kind of relationship can

4) Just be yourself

It’s important to be yourself when you’re in a relationship, whether it’s casual or serious. But it’s especially important if you want things to get more serious.

Men can sense when a woman is trying to be someone she’s not. So instead of putting on an act, just be yourself.

He’ll either like you for who you are or he won’t.

5) Make your own plans

If you’re dating a guy who’s into casual relationships, he may not be ready to commit to making plans with you in advance.

But if you’re hoping for something more serious, it’s important to make your own plans.

Remember, you have a life outside of the relationship.

The last thing you want is to be waiting around for him to make serious plans while you miss out on other opportunities.

Plus, this shows that you’re confident enough to do things on your own.

Who knows, he may even be impressed by your independence and be more likely to want to commit.

The bottom line: Is keeping it casual with a guy worth it?

To be honest, it depends on what you’re looking for.

If you’re okay with things the way they are and aren’t looking for anything serious, then there’s no harm in keeping it casual. There’s no pressure of commitment and you can both enjoy each other’s company without any strings attached.

But if you’re hoping for something more, in the long run, the best way to approach this is to have a discussion about your intentions and where things are going.

If he’s not ready to commit to something long-term, don’t force him. Just be patient and let things take their natural course.

And if you decide you want to get serious with someone else, don’t feel bad about moving on.

After all, you deserve to be happy and in a relationship that meets your needs.

Final thoughts

As mentioned earlier, when it comes down to commitment, men are hard-wired with a deep sense of responsibility.

They want the same thing that you do: happiness and peace in your relationship. But they also want to feel truly needed. They want to feel like a hero in your life. Like they are irreplaceable and indispensable. 

There’s actually a fascinating concept that talks about a man’s need to be a hero, and it’s called the Hero Instinct. The Hero Instinct is a deep-seated desire for a man to be needed, wanted, and admired by the woman he’s with.

In his free video, James Bauer, relationship expert and the one who coined this term, talks about how important it is to realize this and that you can use it to your advantage in order to be sure that he will stick around.

He won’t have any reason to want a casual relationship with you, but much more than that. You can get him to commit to you for life.

Click here to watch the free video again.

Picture of Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific. Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives. Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience. Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.