You didn’t walk under a ladder, break a mirror, or had black cats walking all over you.
But bad things just keep on happening to you and so you can’t help but worry that you’re cursed for life.
Well, shake away that thought because that’s not what’s going on!
Here are seven likely reasons you keep having “bad luck”, and how you can still turn things around.
1) You’re convinced that you have “bad luck”
When you’re convinced that something’s happening to you, your mind will naturally latch on to anything that will confirm your suspicions.
This is a well-known phenomenon called confirmation bias. It’s our tendency to focus on things that confirm the things we believe in and reject that which disproves them.
In fact, this effect is so powerful that people can still be convinced of something even if the list of things proving it wrong could fill an entire Wikipedia page.
So if you KNOW you’re unlucky and that you’re being followed by “bad luck”, well, guess what? You’re likely going to see more bad luck—or at the very least, you’ll think that you are seeing more of it.
2) You’re not aligned with your true self
When you’re not living a life that’s in alignment with your authentic self, it can be quite difficult to succeed at it. And thank God for that!
If your passions lie with the arts, but you forced yourself to take up engineering anyways because it’s what your parents want you to do, then you’re going to have a hard time. Sure, you can succeed, but you’ll fail so often that you’ll be convinced that you simply have “bad luck.”
If you know you’re gay, but you force yourself to date the opposite sex, you might attribute your singlehood to “bad luck.” But in fact, what’s actually happening is that your heart really just isn’t into it.
We are simply naturally conditioned to live the lives that are most in line with our authentic selves.
Understandably, figuring out whether you truly are living a life in line with your true self isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
It takes active effort to try to free yourself from the preconceived biases you grew up with, and should you need guidance on this (we all do!), then perhaps this masterclass—aptly named “Free Your Mind”—by Rudá Iandê will be of great help.
I signed up for it and learned a lot about myself and how society has brainwashed me in many ways. I must say, Ruda’s masterclass is the reason I’ve discovered (and fully embraced) my authentic self.
Do give it a try. It might change your life, and your luck.
3) You haven’t formed good habits
Even if you don’t do #1 and #2—say, you really BELIEVE you’re a lucky person and that you actually do things aligned to your authentic self—bad things will still keep happening to you if you haven’t developed that many good habits yourself.
Let’s say that you’re very passionate about being a songwriter, but you don’t put in the effort to actually try to write any songs at all.
What happens is that when deadlines creep in, you’ll find yourself worried sick because you simply don’t have a single song written.
Or perhaps you want to be healthy, but don’t observe any kind of self-discipline, so you end up lounging on the couch, munching chips all day.
There will be days you won’t feel too good, and then because you’re in denial, you’ll just shrug and say that you keep on having “bad luck” when it comes to your health… even if that “bad luck” is just you being tempted by a burger first thing in the morning!
4) You have formed BAD habits
There’s a huge difference between not forming good habits, and having bad habits.
While the former usually doesn’t do much more than get you stuck in life, the latter can have more abrupt and more dangerous consequences.
And more likely than not, when those consequences come snipping at your heels, you’ll end up thinking that you were simply “unlucky.”
If you have any kind of addiction, for example, the chances of bad things happening to you would be quadrupled. There’s a big chance you’ll hurt yourself, you’ll hurt others, and you’ll sabotage your work and any dreams you might have. And then you’ll call these consequences “bad luck”.
Passion, determination, self-confidence…they’re all nothing if you’re dragging yourself down with BAD habits.
5) You’re surrounded by the wrong kind of people
If you’re born to abusive parents, then, of course…bad things will likely keep happening to you, whether directly or indirectly.
If your spouse is a gambler or an alcoholic, well…it’ll be hard to imagine a life that’s filled with good things, for sure.
And if you’re with friends who are a bad influence, then clearly, you’re likely to get in and out of trouble.
So before you blame yourself or the universe, ask yourself, “Is it really me, or am I just surrounded by people who attract bad luck?”
6) You’re just not in the right place
Some places are simply not that great to live in compared to others, and it’s quite possible that what you perceive as “misfortune” is just you being unhappy with your lot in life.
Your “luck” would be very different if you lived elsewhere in the world, be it in another country, another state, or even a different neighborhood.
There are so many factors that can affect one’s well-being, and most of them are directly affected by your environment and your socioeconomic status.
If you’re a daughter of a shoe repairman who lives in a small rented room in Iran, chances are that you’ll have a tougher life than the son of a successful businessman in Manhattan.
Luck usually accumulates for those who have more of it already, so you shouldn’t consider it a personal flaw if you find yourself experiencing more bad things than regular folks.
7) You’re hooked to bad circumstances
As preposterous as it may sound, it is indeed possible for you to get addicted to being in bad circumstances, and so you end up subconsciously putting yourself in that spot.
It can be very comforting to shroud yourself in familiarity or to keep doing the same things over and over again, even when you know in the back of your head that it’s a bad idea.
This is why some people end up dating bad people back to back, for example. They might have grown up in a toxic household, and because of that, end up being drawn to people that they are already “familiar” with.
And well, what that does to you is surround you with people who keep you stuck dealing with the same bad things over and over again.
What to do if bad things keep on happening to you
Don’t succumb to self-pity
One of the worst things you can do is to hang your head in defeat and go all “woe is me! I’m the unluckiest person in the whole wide world!”
Sure, things might be bad for you right now, but what can self-pity do to you? It certainly can’t make you feel any better.
Sure, have a good cry. It’s therapeutic. But you have to get up and fight right after.
Instead of letting the misfortune get you feeling sorry for yourself, take it instead as an opportunity to motivate you to do something about it.
Don’t be bitter
There are people who, simply by virtue of who they are, always get the short end of the stick in real life.
These people carry on because they don’t let themselves get too bitter over every stroke of misfortune they get. After all, if they did that, they would barely have any energy to spare to enjoy the good things in life.
The way you emotionally prepare yourself for your troubles in life can mean the difference in how well you can endure said troubles.
So why not learn from the oppressed? Learn how to complain cheerfully, and don’t let yourself get too bitter and angry.
Live a life that’s aligned with your true self
We’re not naive. Living a life that’s in line with who you are is not a guarantee that misfortune will flee at the sight of you like ghosts running away from exorcists.
But it does mean that it’ll be easier for you to endure hardship when it comes simply because those are the kinds of suffering you’re willing to endure!
You’ll be much happier and more fulfilled, after all.
Sometimes what one needs is not relief from the troubles of living, but the strength—and, more importantly, the reason—to carry on.
In this life, there’s no guarantee that if you do things right, you’ll end up having good luck.
It doesn’t mean that if you studied well for an exam, that you’ll get good grades…that if you just stay lovable, your partner will never leave you. Life is not like that.
Life is full of surprises—and yes, that includes the bad. So toughen up. Your journey is still long, and you’ll still encounter “bad luck” while you live life.
Being tough is not optional; it’s the only way to be if you want to have a happy life.
But that’s not to say you should repress all the softer sides of yourself; just know when to let your soft side out, and when to put on your armour of toughness.
I personally meditate every day, without which I know I would find keeping on top of things far harder. I used to wallow in a great deal of self-pity, but I managed to turn things around.
This free 20-minute Self-Healing Meditation is a great place to start if you feel like your mindset is growing increasingly negative and you want to regain control of it.
I know how bad it can all start to feel when it starts to spiral and you lose control of that tough exterior, but give it a go.
Sometimes a little reset is all you need to kickstart viewing things with a more optimistic and realistic mindset.
Stop blaming it all on “bad luck”
So here’s my problem with the people who keep on saying that they’re just “cursed” with bad luck: in my experience, they aren’t actually “unlucky.”
Instead, they’re simply way too quick to blame “bad luck” and fixate on the many small inconveniences that many others would simply shrug off.
And some of them even blame “bad luck” to avoid having to accept the fact that they are, in fact, facing the consequences of their own actions.
So stop yourself from grumbling about “bad luck” every time something annoys you or goes wrong.
Instead, just try to focus on doing what you can do to deal with your problems, and try not to lose your head over things that are out of your control anyways.
Learn from your “bad luck”
You can only do so much to stop bad things from happening to you, and there are just some things that are out of your control. Others yet might have been manageable in hindsight if you only knew better.
Unfortunate as these things may be, it’s not as though all of those bad things are irredeemably bad.
With few exceptions, they all will have a lesson—or perhaps a nugget of wisdom—that you can learn if you were to open your mind to such a possibility.
If you found yourself cursed with “bad luck” because you kept dating unavailable men, for example, then perhaps you can improve your life dramatically by going to therapy and changing your dating strategy.
“Luck” is often what we make of it, and people who say that they’re especially unlucky are often at fault for their own misfortune.
Sometimes they simply condition themselves to believe that every single bad thing that happens to them is because of “bad luck”, and sometimes they keep doing things wrong and blame “luck” whenever bad things happen as a result.
It’s not easy to exactly wean yourself out of this mindset if you’re stuck deep in it.
But with enough self-awareness and will, you can not only push yourself into a healthier mindset but also learn from the bad things that happen to you.