Have you ever had a guy stare at you?
You’re on the bus, in Starbucks, and he is staring intently at you.
He’s not saying anything but still stares at your presence.
You think no one else notices him doing it, but they do. When it becomes uncomfortable, what should you do?
This is a perplexing question, and I will try to help you solve this puzzle. Let’s jump right in.
1) He is in love with you
A man likely stares at you because he has feelings for you.
You can’t do anything except stare back into his eyes. He will pick up on your interest, and soon it will be a game of who will stare at the other longer.
Staring is an opportunity for you to develop a bond with him.
Your best bet for this situation is to go along with the staring contest and be the one who makes eye contact first.
This is a great way of attracting a guy and getting him to like you because he will have no idea what you are doing.
2) He wants to talk with you
If a man is paying you attention, he probably wants to talk with you.
It is a bit odd that he would stare at you so intently, but he might just be interested in what you’re doing.
He is trying to make a connection with you, and if you are interested or not, then he will move on or develop the bond further.
If you are interested, show him that you would like to know more about him and ask him something that you are particularly interested in.
This will make the situation a bit more comfortable for both of you.
If he initiates the conversation, then you can either ask him something funny or answer his question in a clever way.
In case you are like-minded, you will have plenty of topics to talk about, which can be the beginning of something new.
3) He is just being friendly
A man might stare in your direction as a way to be friendly.
Often, people try to make eye contact with other people thinking that if the other person does it first, then they will have a better chance of making a connection with them.
In most cases, there is no reason to be alarmed, and you should try to continue your conversation with the person as usual.
If you do this frequently and he keeps trying to make eye contact with you, then it might be an indication that he may want something else from you or wants you to know him better.
He may just be looking for a friend and likes the way you talk to him. Try to be nice to him and simply offer help if you notice that he is truly struggling with something.
It can just be a hard day for him.
4) He is trying to get to know you
Paying close attention to you is a way that a man will try to get to know you from afar.
This is probably the most common reason why a guy stares at you. He is trying to get to know you, and you’re just yourself, so he looks at you intently.
This can be uncomfortable because you don’t necessarily want him to know everything about you, but it gets more comfortable when he asks questions or makes small talk with you.
People are sometimes very lonely for a long time, so perhaps he is surprised by his desire to get in touch with you and get to know you better.
Make eye contact with him, smile, and make sure that he knows you are very interested in him.
5) You remind him of someone
A man may stare at you because you look terribly familiar.
Have you ever had a situation where you met a guy, and he stared at you as he knew you from somewhere?
This can be odd, but it is highly possible that the guy is trying to recall where he’s seen you before.
Perhaps his mother or sisters have the same hair color or personality as yours? If so, then this might be why he’s staring at you: You look like his mother or sisters!
6) He likes something about you
It is possible that he just stared at you because he likes your sunglasses or the way you style your hair.
You might not even realize it, but someone else can tell what you might like about yourself.
It’s actually a good idea to tell him directly, “I like my sunglasses, do you?” or “I like my hair in this style, do you?” This will help him decide if he wants to continue talking with you.
It can be a great conversation starter and give him a good idea of what you think about him. This is probably one of the most normal reasons why someone stares.
He is just trying to get a better look at you and see if he recognizes you or something about you, like your face or voice.
Sometimes, people can stare at someone for weeks with no reason other than curiosity to see if they will recognize them, such as your name or where they went to school.
7) He is shy or up-tight
If a man is staring at you, it can be a sign that he is attracted to you but too shy to admit it.
If the person is shy, then he might just need more time to warm up to you, and if the person is really shy, then it is a good idea to let him/her know that you are interested in them.
You can make a funny comment about how uncomfortable he feels or just tell him that you are interested in talking with him. If he wants to talk, he will say something.
If not, then don’t pressure him into talking. This is always tricky because he may feel even more confused.
Try to assess the situation and see what kind of approach would be the best. In case you don’t click, that is fine too.
8) He wants you to know he is interested
If a man is staring at you he is likely sending a message that he is interested in you.
This one is a bit tricky. He doesn’t have to stare at you the whole time, but if he does it more than once, then you can be sure that he’s very interested.
It seems like a good idea for him to say something to you if this is the case, and it will allow both of you to talk and get to know each other much better.
Guys are pretty much afraid lately to be honest about their feelings because social media have made such an enormous impact on everyone.
It is so important to approach the situation calmly and considerately because he really might be afraid that you won’t like him or be interested in him.
Sometimes, you might even want to play it off by saying something like, “oh, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. Are you lost?”
This is a way for him to know that you are ok with it.
What can you do?
Whatever the reason may be for staring, it is necessary for you to know that you are in control of the situation.
If he is interested in you, then he will speak to you or ask questions about yourself, but if it doesn’t happen, don’t worry.
If he stares at you for a long time and does not talk to you, then it is possible that his interest has waned.
The way I see it, it’s always better to be honest with yourself than try and make a situation more complicated than it needs to be.
So you really have two choices:
1. You can always walk away from an uncomfortable situation and keep in mind that you don’t have to read his mind.
If you decide that you don’t like him, then you won’t have any problems in this situation. When in doubt, just use your gut instinct and go with it.
2. Or you can make a move.
Being proactive will help to clear the air of any confusion. If you find this man equally attractive or intriguing, you can let him know. It’s a good idea to suggest that you two can get together and get to know each other in a more personal way.
If he is not interested in you, then don’t worry. You haven’t lost anything. You’ve only just met.
But perhaps there is something more to consider.
If you’re dealing with fear and hesitancy with men, have you considered getting to the root of the issue?
You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationships with ourselves. Why are we so afraid to speak up first and approach them? So how can you fix the external without seeing the internal first?
I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and look more deeply at your level of confidence, start with yourself.
It’s the best relationship you have to work on.