The psychology of ignoring a woman: How to, does it work and more

There’s a reason why women love when men pay attention to them. It feels good to be acknowledged and appreciated.

And when a man ignores her, it can feel like he’s rejecting her and she may start to question herself and her worth.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the psychology of ignoring a woman and what you need to know in order to do it effectively.

We’ll also provide some tips on how you can make sure that you’re not inadvertently ignored by the woman you’re interested in.

So, if you’re ready to learn more about the art of ignoring women, keep reading.

What is the psychology behind ignoring a woman?

The psychology behind ignoring a woman is that it creates a sense of mystery and intrigue.

You see, when you ignore a woman, you’re essentially saying that you’re not interested in her and that she’s not worthy of your attention.

Now, this may seem like a counter-intuitive way to get a woman’s attention, but ignoring her can actually be a very effective way to make her notice you.


Because when you ignore a woman on purpose, you’re playing on her natural desire to be wanted and appreciated.

All women want to feel desired, and when you ignore her, you’re sending the message that you find her irresistible.

This may trigger her chase instinct and she could very well start to pursue you.

And as much as you love a challenge, so do women.

Of course, ignoring a woman is not without its risks.

If you ignore a woman for too long, she could very well lose interest in you and move on.

So, you must know how to ignore a woman the right way if you want to make it work.

But first:

Why do men ignore women? 12 reasons why

Relations between men and women can be highly nuanced. This is because ignoring a woman can mean different things to different people in different situations.

As it’s a popular tactic used by men for several reasons, let’s break down the top ten reasons why you might choose to ignore a woman.

1) To create a sense of mystery and intrigue.

As we mentioned before, ignoring a woman can create a sense of mystery and intrigue.

Here’s the thing: we like what we can’t have.

And ignoring a woman makes her feel like she can’t have you, which can be a very effective way to get her attention.

When you ignore a woman, she’ll start to wonder why you aren’t interested in her. Consequently, she may want to find out more about you.

But there’s more to it than just that.

By ignoring a woman, you’re also indicating that you’re not an easy catch. And this can be very appealing to women as they like to feel like they’re winning your affections.

So, if you want to create a sense of mystery and intrigue, ignoring a woman is a great way to do it.

2) You’re the type who likes to play hard to get.

When a man plays hard to get, he’s essentially ignoring a woman in order to get her attention.

And as we mentioned before, this can be a very effective way to make her notice you.

Playing hard to get makes you more attractive to women because it makes you seem like a challenge.

And as we all know, women love a good challenge.

3) You make an effort to seem more desirable to her.

When a man chooses to ignore a woman, he’s not just trying to get your attention. He’s also trying to make himself seem more desirable.

What does that mean?

Well, by ignoring her, you’re indicating that you’re not interested in her. And this can make you seem more desirable because it makes you seem like a challenge.

Women love challenges, and ignoring a woman is a great way to get her attention while also making yourself more attractive to her.

Again, it may sound counterintuitive, but it’s true.

4) You realize you’re not ready for a relationship.

Ignoring a woman can also be a way for a man to show that he’s not ready for a relationship.

Perhaps he’s just come out of a long-term relationship or maybe he’s not looking for anything serious at the moment.

Look, relationships can be complicated. And sometimes, the best thing to do is to just take a step back and focus on ourselves.

There’s nothing wrong with being single.

In fact, it can be quite liberating.

I know that the decision to hold off on a relationship can be a tough one, especially when societal norms pressure us into coupling up.

But if you find yourself pulling away or even ignoring a woman, it may be an indication that you’re not ready to commit. 

I’ve been there too —feeling the weight of societal expectations telling me that I should be in a relationship.

But this free masterclass from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê opened my eyes to the limiting beliefs that were holding me back.

This masterclass is called “Free Your Mind” and it dives deep into the limiting beliefs and expectations that can chain us down, preventing us from living a life that’s genuinely ours.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, reluctant to commit, and unsure why, perhaps it’s time to look inward.

There’s no shame in taking time for yourself to reassess what you really want.

Click here to access the Free Your Mind masterclass.

5) You’re secretly attracted to a woman.

pexels cottonbro 8261563 The psychology of ignoring a woman: How to, does it work and more

The classic move of practically every teeny-bopper movie is to have the guy ignore the girl because he’s attracted to her.

And while this might seem cliche, it has some truth to it.

When a man is attracted to a woman, he’ll often try to play it cool by ignoring her. He doesn’t want to seem too interested as he doesn’t want to come across as desperate.

So, if you think a guy is ignoring you because he’s attracted to you, there’s a good chance that you’re right.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. But it’s definitely something to consider.

RELATED READING: Why do men ignore the girl they like? 7 most likely explanations

6) You’re not interested in her.

The exact opposite of the reason above, you may decide to ignore a woman because you’re not interested in her.

As if that’s not enough, ignoring a woman can also be your way to send a message that you’re not interested.

While this may seem like a mean thing to do, doing so sometimes seems necessary. After all, if you’re not interested in someone, why would you want to lead them on?

It’s better to just be honest and upfront from the beginning.


Relationship coaching - done online

Find a personal coach and get relationship advice specific to your situation. Take a quiz, get matched, and start getting support via phone or video sessions. Affordable pricing + discounts available.

100,000+ helpedAvailable 24/764,000 five-star reviews

7) You’re seriously busy with other things in your life.

Schedule conflicts are bound to happen. And when they do, it’s often necessary to put other things ahead of your love life.

Choosing to ignore a woman because you’re busy with work, school, or other obligations is perfectly understandable.

After all, we can’t always control when we’re available. And in reality, there may be times the only breather you get from your busy schedule is ignoring the woman you’re interested in.

Frustrating as it may seem, ignoring a woman because you’re busy is sometimes unavoidable.

It’s not personal, it’s just practical.

8) You have self-esteem issues on how to behave around a woman.

While some men can be assertive and confident around women, others don’t know how to act. They might feel shy or awkward, and ignoring her is their way of hiding this fact.

Of course, if you decide to do this, you could come across as awkward and less confident.

The key is to find a balance. Be assertive, but don’t be too overbearing. Be confident, but don’t be cocky.

I have to admit —I’ve grappled with this balance myself. What really helped me gain clarity was taking a short and simple Self-Love Quiz from Rudá Iandê.

This free quiz doesn’t just scratch the surface. Even though it’s simple, it can help you delve deep into your emotional and mental state to assess how you truly feel about yourself.

It was a wake-up call for me, highlighting areas where my self-esteem was lacking and affecting how I interact with women.

Based on my experience, I’m sure it can also help you work on your self-esteem issues and gain actionable insights to improve your behaviors around women.

Click here to take the free Self-Love Quiz now.

9) She may already be taken or married.

back2 The psychology of ignoring a woman: How to, does it work and more

Picture this: you meet this lady who seems to connect with you on every level– intellectually, spiritually, and physically. You share the same values, love the same foods, and even have the same taste in movies.

You’re thinking to yourself “this is it! I’ve found my soulmate.”

But then you find out that she’s already taken or married.

It can be quite a frustrating and heartbreaking experience.

But the truth is, ignoring a woman because she’s already taken or married may just be the way to go.

I know it sounds harsh, but if you think about it, it makes sense.

If she’s already taken or married, that means that she’s not available. And if she’s not available, then there’s no point in pursuing her, is there?

It might seem like you’re ignoring her for the wrong reasons, but in reality, you’re ignoring her for the right ones.

10) You don’t really care about her.

There are many possible reasons why a guy might ignore a girl, but one of the most common is that he simply doesn’t care.

You see, deciding to ignore a woman is often a conscious decision. It’s not something that you do without thinking about it first.

Of course, not everyone in your life’s going to be worth your time and energy. And if you don’t care about someone, ignoring them is usually the easiest thing to do.

The thing is, we all have a finite amount of time and energy. You can’t afford to waste it on people who don’t bring any value to your life.

So if a woman’s not meeting your standards, cut ties with them so that you have more bandwidth for people who do.

11) You like playing mind games that challenge women.

ignoring a woman can also be a way of playing mind games.

For example, you might ignore her to see how she reacts. Or you might be ignoring her to make her feel jealous or to get her attention.

Let’s be real: mind games can be fun and they can sometimes work in your favor.

A little bit of healthy competition can actually be a good thing.

But at the same time, mind games can also be manipulative. This could result in a woman ignoring you back. Worse, she could get hurt in the process.

Whatever mind games you might be playing, just be sure to think about the possible consequences before you make your move.

12) You live in misery and have a fear of rejection.

When it comes to interacting with women, many men are held back by their misery and fear of rejection.

This fear can manifest in a number of ways: avoiding situations where they might be rejected, focusing on signs that indicate interest, or trying to read their partner’s feelings by responding to her messages and advances.

Whatever the manifestation may be, one thing is clear: this fear can prevent men from putting themselves out there and making a move.

And in some cases, it might even lead to ignoring her altogether.

Of course, being rejected is never fun. But it’s important to remember that rejection is a part of life. It happens to everyone.

The key is to not let your fear of rejection hold you back.

And if you’re having trouble doing so, the best starting point can be the free Self-Love Quiz from Rudá Iandê that I mentioned above.

It helped me gain a better understanding of where my fears and anxieties were coming from. And I think it can also offer you some insights into what’s holding you back.

Take the Self-love Quiz right now.

How to ignore a woman to attract her in this dating culture

The dating culture has changed and with that, the way we ignore women to attract them has as well. In the past, ignoring a woman was easy.

You would simply not talk to her, not ask her out, and not text her back. But now, ignoring a woman is harder than ever because of technology. With text messaging, social media, and dating apps, it’s easy to stay in contact with someone you’re ignoring.

So if you want to ignore a woman the right way, you have to be strategic about it. Here are a few tips:

Limit your social media activity

Social media can be a great way to connect with people. But it can also be a great way to stay in contact with someone you’re ignoring.

If you’re ignoring a woman, the best thing to do is to limit your social media activity. This means no double-tapping her Instagram photos or liking her Facebook posts.

And if she happens to reach out to you on social media, don’t respond.

Find ways to keep the ball in your court.

When it comes to ignoring a woman, the goal is to keep the ball in your court. This means you should be the one who’s initiating contact.

You should be the one who’s texting her first, asking her out on dates, and making plans. By keeping the ball in your court, you’re in control of the situation.

Truth be told, many women like a man who’s in control. It makes them feel safe and secure.

Don’t be afraid to be a little bit mysterious.

exwwife 1 The psychology of ignoring a woman: How to, does it work and more

One of the best ways to ignore a woman is to be a little bit mysterious. This means you don’t always have to tell her everything about yourself.

In fact, it’s often better if you don’t.

By being a little bit mysterious, you’re giving her something to chase.

Only ignore women who you’re interested in.

There’s no point in ignoring women who don’t really matter to you. So only ignore women who you’re actually interested in.

You see, ignoring a woman is all about creating an air of mystery. If you’re not interested in her, then there’s no point in doing it.

But if you’re attracted to her, then ignoring her can be a great way to get her attention and may just pay off.

Make sure your chance to ignore is purposeful.

Ignoring a woman can be tricky. If done wrong, it can backfire. So if you’re going to ignore a woman, make sure your chance to do so is purposeful.

For example, ignoring her for a day or two after you’ve had a great date together can actually work in your favor. It’ll make her wonder why you’re ignoring her and she’ll be eager to talk to you again.

But ignoring her for a week or more may likely result otherwise.

Be careful not to come across as too aloof or disinterested.

If you ignore a woman you like to the point where she feels like you don’t care about her at all, she’ll write you off as a lost cause and move on.

Why is that? Well, ignoring a woman sends the message that you’re not interested. And if she thinks you’re not interested, she’ll move on to someone who is.

So be careful not to come across as too aloof or disinterested. Instead, focus on sending mixed signals that will work in your favor.

You may end up getting her attention after all.

Can you ignore a girl and make her chase you?

The truth behind ignoring a girl is that it can work, but it’s not a guarantee. If you’re interested in a girl and you want to try ignoring her to see if she chases you, there’s no harm in giving it a shot.

But remember, the goal is to create an air of mystery and an opportunity to miss you.

The key is to find the right balance between ignoring and showing interest.

Here’s the thing: women are known for their intuition. It’s one of the most powerful tools they have at their disposal.

They can sense when men are interested in them, and they use this intuition to their advantage.

Unfortunately, for the average guy, this intuition can be hard to ignore.

Thus, the question: can you ignore a girl and make her chase you?

The answer is, in theory, yes.

In practice, however, it’s much harder than that.

Women have a lot of “game.” They’ll use their intellect, emotions, and physical attractiveness to their advantage.

That’s why ignoring them can be a challenge.

So, if you’re not careful, they’ll catch up to you and make you sweat bullets in the process.

How does a girl feel when she’s ignored by a guy?

To be honest, being ignored by a guy can go so many ways.

A girl might feel flattered that he’s ignoring her because he’s afraid of rejection. She might also feel ignored and unimportant if he’s ignoring her texts and calls.

It really just depends on the girl and the situation, even in the context of dating and relationships.

Some girls take it personally when guys ignore them. They become dramatic and think that the guy’s ignoring them because they’re not good enough.

On the other hand, some girls might see it as a challenge. They’ll take it upon themselves to make the guy notice them even more. They’ll even make an effort to ignore him back and give him a dose of his own medicine.

Other women might not even care. That’s because they’re confident enough in themselves to know that they don’t need validation from a guy. They’ll write him off as a lost cause and move on.

In short, there’s no one answer to how a girl feels when she’s ignored by a guy.

One thing’s for sure: ignoring a girl can have its consequences, good or bad.

The best thing you can do is be purposeful with your ignoring and make sure the girl you’re ignoring is actually worth your time and attention.

You need to do it right

Understanding the psychology of ignoring a woman is complex, and wielding this tactic requires more than simple manipulation. It’s about a deep and empowering connection with yourself first.

Men, this is vital: embracing self-love isn’t just a trendy concept; it’s a foundation for genuine confidence. When you truly know and love yourself, you find the strength to approach relationships from a position of power, not desperation. Ignoring a woman then becomes a choice, not a trick.

This self-assured attitude can create a compelling aura that women may find attractive. However, finding the right balance is key.

Ignore too much, and you could lose her interest; strike the right chord, and you might ignite her curiosity.

If you’re seeking to enhance this aspect of yourself, then I feel obliged to recommend one more amazing resource from Rudá Iandê.

I have to be honest — this free masterclass on love and intimacy helped me understand the essence of healthy relationships. The best part was Rudá’s introspective questionnaires and actionable advice to strengthen my bond with my partner.

This isn’t just about playing a mental game — it’s about mastering your own emotions and understanding what love and connection mean to you.

So, if you want to build a powerful connection not just with women but also with yourself, I highly recommend you check out this free masterclass.

Here’s the link to the Love and Intimacy Masterclass.

Picture of Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific. Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives. Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience. Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.