Do you know the feeling when you just can’t figure out whether a guy likes you or not?
Lucky for you, there are 19 subtle signs that will tell you if he’s not, so that you can save time and move on!
19 signs he’s just not into you
1) He doesn’t spend much time with you
First off, if he doesn’t spend a lot of time with you, it means he’s not interested in you.
This can be especially true if you want to spend a lot of time with him.
The thing is, if he’s not doing anything to make you feel special, it might be time to move on.
2) He isn’t the first one to contact you
There’s a 99 percent chance that he hasn’t contacted you yet because he may be interested in someone else.
It’s normal for men to text first when they’re just getting started in a relationship and then start slacking over time.
As stupid as that is, it’s important to remember that men are human, and sometimes they just don’t feel the same way about you that you do about them.
You need to move on!
3) Want advice specific to your situation?
While the signs in this article will help you figure out whether he’s into you or not, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like knowing where you stand with a guy. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) You are always the one putting in the effort
Next up, if you are always the only one putting in the effort to make plans, it’s probably best to move on.
Simply put, if a guy doesn’t put in the effort to make plans with you, it means that he’s not interested in you.
It’s just not worth it to try and make him like you when he clearly doesn’t care.
You need to move on!
5) He keeps canceling
One of the biggest red flags you’ll see in a guy is if he keeps canceling dates.
Canceling dates can be a red flag if it’s done without proper notice and allows the other person to wonder what could have been.
It also shows that the man may not really care about meeting someone.
Look: if he’s not interested in you, it’s time to move on. You don’t want to waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t see your worth.
6) Flirting with other women
Flirting with other women is one of the signs he’s not into you.
You see, if he’s always checking out other women, it’s likely he isn’t interested in you.
If the man is constantly looking for other women and isn’t interested in you, it might be a sign that he doesn’t really care about you.
He may not like the personal interactions with you.
Plus, if he wasn’t interested in you before, chances are that he won’t be after seeing all of these other women – men can just be like that.
See it positively, though! This way, you don’t have to waste your time trying to court him and hope for the best.
You can simply move on and focus on finding someone who is compatible with you.
7) He doesn’t know anything about you
One of the most common signs that he’s not interested in you is if he doesn’t know anything about you.
He might not know your full name, what your job is, what your favorite color is, or even what your favorite song is.
You see, if he doesn’t know everything about you, it might be difficult for him to connect with you on a deeper level.
Plus, it’s just a sign that he doesn’t care enough to remember the details about you.
8) Lack of emotional connection
One of the most common reasons people can’t seem to connect with others is because they don’t have a strong emotional connection.
When you’re looking for a romantic partner, it’s important to find someone who matches your personality, values, and interests.
You see, in order to find someone who is compatible with you, it’s important to understand your personal characteristics and preferences.
You’ll also want to consider what kind of relationship you’d like to have—one where both partners share equal responsibility and contribute equally, or one in which the partner controls a certain amount of the relationship.
To do that, you will also have to know yourself very well!
However, in the dating world, it’s also important to find someone who is compatible with your lifestyle and your goals.
If you’re not sure if he likes you or not, it’s time to take some time for yourself and evaluate your relationship.
9) He is still a stranger to you
One of the most common signs that someone is not interested in you is when they are still a stranger to you.
They may not even know your name!
Sure, this could mean that he is still trying to figure out who you are and what you’re all about.
However, if you’ve been dating for a while and you feel like this person is still like a stranger because you never talk about anything deep, it’s a red flag.
It’s true if you don’t talk about your feelings or concerns, it’s possible that this person is still a stranger to you because they never share similar interests or experiences.
But if this person has been dating you for over a period of time and they haven’t mentioned any deep topics in their conversation, it might be an indicator that they are not interested in talking about more serious things with you.
10) It’s just about the physical for him
If he’s not interested in you, it’s likely that he only wants you for the sex.
If that’s the case, you’ll know:
- all of your interactions involve sex
- he never asks you on a proper date
- he never hits you up unless it’s a booty call
- He leaves after you’re done having sex
11) He never talks about you on social media
One sign that he is not into you, is when he never mentions you on social media. If he’s not interested in you, he will probably not want to spend time with you.
Therefore, he has no reason to mention you on social media.
You see, when a man is interested in you, he likely wants other people to know, too.
He will probably post pictures of the two of you together and talk about you on Facebook and Twitter.
If he’s not interested in you, he has no reason to do this.
12) He talks to other women
When a guy talks to other women, it’s often a red flag that he is not interested in you.
When a guy talks to other women, it’s often a red flag that he is not interested in you.
This means that if the man has been talking to other women for a while and you’re not his type, it might be time to end things.
You see, if your gut tells you something isn’t right about this guy, just don’t go out with him – no matter how hard he tries to make it seem like there’s still some chance of being together future-wise.
Unless you had a conversation about polygamy there is no reason for him to talk to other women other than not being interested in you, I’m sorry.
13) You haven’t met any of his friends
Another sign that he’s not interested in you is when you haven’t met his friends.
Think about it: when you like someone, you want to introduce them to your friends.
You want to know what your friends think of your new romantic partner!
Why would he like to know what his friends think of the new romantic partner?
He can use this information in order to form a more positive opinion about you, or he could use it as part of a dating strategy in order to find someone who is compatible with his interests.
If you don’t meet his friends something is up.
14) He doesn’t show affection in public
Another sign that he’s not interested in you is when he doesn’t show affection publicly.
If someone shows an interest in another person but doesn’t express their feelings overtly, this could mean they’re not really into the person and may just prefer to keep things secret.
Alternatively, if there is a lack of public displays of affection from him, it might be that he’s just shy around new people or maybe has some other reasons for being introverted.
You see, there is a catch here: the lack of PDA could mean that he’s not interested in you, or it could mean that he’s simply uncomfortable with other people seeing him express affection for you (or anyone for that matter).
However, if you are a new girlfriend and there is no PDA at all, then this is a good sign that this guy is not interested in you.
15) He’s not there for significant events
Another sign that he’s not interested in you is when he’s not there for significant events in your life.
Sure, this could mean that he is simply out of town but it could also mean that he just doesn’t care much about you.
You see, if he doesn’t care about you, then it might be best to move on.
This isn’t the type of person who is going to make a good partner or someone you can trust.
If you’re not worth his time and effort, then it’s probably time for things to end.
16) He tells you to see other men
When a guy tells you to see other men and you’re not in an open relationship, he really doesn’t care about you.
You see, monogamic men often don’t even want other men to look at their girl, let alone date her!
When you’re dating a man who tells you to see other men, this is a very good sign that he’s simply not interested in making a commitment to you.
This is a sign that he’s not interested in the long-term future of either of you.
Now: if this man tells you to see other men, it means that he doesn’t really care about your well-being or wants nothing more than short-term interests.
This could be very bad news for both of you because it would mean that he’s not someone who takes his relationship seriously and is just looking for ways to get away from you.
17) He doesn’t leave his things at your house
A man who doesn’t leave his things at your house is not someone who cares about you.
This indicates that he’s not someone who is serious about you, but instead, just wants a quick fling with no strings attached.
The thing is, if you are interested in this person, it is important, to be honest with him and let him know what your intentions are.
If he is not serious about you, then the best way to handle things is just to say goodbye and move on.
He may have other plans for his future that don’t involve being together.
So, if a guy doesn’t leave his things at your house, then this could mean that he’s really not interested in being with you.
18) He only contacts you sometimes
When a guy only contacts you sometimes, it means that he’s not interested in being with you.
You see, men who are serious about relationships almost always contact their girl on a regular basis.
This is a sign that they care about you and want to be with you.
So, if a guy doesn’t contact you at all, it could mean that he’s not serious about being with you and is just looking for ways to get away from you.
This also entails not making the effort to call or text back right away.
You see, a man who doesn’t make the effort to call or text back right away is not someone who cares about you.
19) You just know
Sometimes, it’s just intuition.
This is when you just know that something isn’t quite right with this man.
It could be a matter of trust or security, but sometimes you can’t even put a finger on what is throwing you off.
However, when you just know that something isn’t right, it’s probably best to just stay away.
Think about it: he probably doesn’t do the things that a man who is serious about you would do.
What should you do now?
By now you should have a good idea of whether he’s into you or not. If he’s into you, that’s great!
But if he’s not that into you, there are things you can say and messages you can send to change that. If you trigger something in him called the Hero Instinct you’ll reach a part of him that no woman has.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you. He’ll become more and more into you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.