20 big signs your ex is never coming back (and why that’s okay)

When you break up with someone, you’re not always sure if it’s really the end of your relationship or if you’ll get back together.

This article will look at the big signs that your ex isn’t coming back and why that might not be such a bad thing.

Let’s jump right in:

1) They told you to move on

If your ex keeps telling you to move on with your life, I’d say that’s a pretty BIG sign that they’re not coming back.

They don’t want you to have any false hope and by telling you that you should move on, they’re letting you know that your relationship is really over.

2) They told you that they’ve moved on

Not only did your ex tell you to move on, but they also told you that they’ve moved on and are seeing someone else.

Now, they might have said something like, “Look, I’m really happy with my new partner and our life together” and I’d say it’s pretty clear that they’re not coming back to you.

They obviously see your relationship as something from the past and not their present or future.

3) A relationship coach confirms it

While the signs in this article will help you understand that your ex isn’t coming back, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at the worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific, and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me.

They are also perfectly placed to help you recognize the signs that your relationship is really over and help you see why that may be for the best.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

4) They don’t respond to your calls or messages

Being ignored sucks, trust me, I know.

But if your ex doesn’t respond to your calls and doesn’t answer your texts, it means that they really don’t want to speak to you again.

They’re not interested in getting back together or keeping any sort of relationship going.

Maybe they’re really angry with you.

Maybe they’re really hurting.

Whatever the reason, they don’t feel like they can talk to you anymore.

5) They block your number

If your ex has blocked your phone number and email account, then that’s a pretty big sign that they don’t have any interest in getting back together with you.

In fact, blocking your number is such a big gesture that not only do they not want to get back together, but they don’t want anything to do with you.

You need to accept the reality of the situation and stop waiting to get back together.

6) They delete all traces of you from their social media

All the pictures of the two of you together are gone.

All the comments you left on their social media have been deleted.

They’ve removed every trace of you from their social media and it’s like you never existed.

You see, by deleting you from their social media, it’s like they’ve erased you from their life.

If this is the case, then I think it’s safe to say that your relationship is over and there’s no chance of getting back together.

7) They post pictures of their new partner on social media

The most obvious sign that your ex is never coming back to you is that they post pictures of their new partner on social media.

Think about it:

You can clearly see from their pictures that they’ve moved on. They look like a good match, and most importantly, they look really happy together.

You need to accept the fact that they don’t want you anymore and move on with your life.

Your ex might have been a big part of your life for a long time and a breakup is never easy or fun.

It’s okay to feel sad and upset about this, but don’t sit around waiting for them to come back.

8) They don’t care if you date someone new

If you’ve started going out on dates with other people and your ex doesn’t mind in the least, it’s because they’re over you.

Let me guess: You were probably hoping that once they saw you with someone else they’d realize that you’re the love of their life and they’d come running into your arms.

Am I right?

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. In fact, they told you they were happy to see you moving on with your life.

Take it from me, they’re not coming back. You should start dating someone that you actually like, and not just someone to make them jealous.

9) They’re not interested in reconciliation

It doesn’t really matter why you broke up, whose fault it was, or what happened between you.

What matters is that your ex has been very clear about the fact that they are not interested in reconciliation. So you need to face facts and stop living in the hope that somehow things will change.

If you want to get back together and your ex doesn’t want to, there’s nothing you can do about it.

The bottom line is that you should be with someone that loves you and wants to be with you.

10) They don’t want to see you

If your ex doesn’t want to see you, it’s clear that they don’t want to get back together. They’re probably not comfortable being around you anymore.

By saying that they don’t want to see you, they’re effectively saying that the relationship with you is over and that they want a clean break.

All in all, I think you should respect their wishes.

11) Their family doesn’t want to see you

You used to be close to their family, in fact, you felt like you were part of the family, but now, their family doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.

Now, if you did something to hurt your ex, like cheat on them, it makes perfect sense that they’d want nothing to do with you.

But, if the breakup is not your fault and they told you that they think it best that you don’t see each other anymore, then it means that it is over for good and they don’t want to be caught in an awkward situation.

12) They are irritated to see you

If your ex wanted to get back together, then they wouldn’t be able to hide their pleasure upon seeing you.

But if you run into them and they look upset and irritated to see you, then it’s pretty clear that they don’t want you in their life anymore.

13) They’re happy without you

If your friends tell you that your ex is doing really well and is happy in their new relationship, and if you see it for yourself, then there’s really no reason to expect them to come back to you.

Be happy for them and look for your own happiness.

14) They tell you you deserve better

It’s kind of like saying, “It’s not you, it’s me” – they’re trying to convince you that you deserve better than them.

In reality, they’re politely letting you know that they’re not interested in being with you anymore.

You can take this as a sign that it’s over for good between the two of you and shouldn’t expect them to change their mind.

If your ex has told you that they think the two of you just don’t work anymore and maybe it’s time to move on, then there’s really no point in hoping for a reconciliation.

15) They speak badly about you behind your back

single3 20 big signs your ex is never coming back (and why that’s okay)

If your ex talks about you in a negative way to your mutual acquaintances and friends, it’s because they don’t have any positive feelings left for you.

They’re clearly holding onto a grudge and they have no intention of ever getting back together with you.

And here’s another thing. If they enjoy talking about the bad times or even laugh at your misfortune, then it’s absolutely clear that they are over you and don’t want to see you or speak to you ever again.

16) They tell you that they don’t love you

It may hurt to hear it but it doesn’t get any clearer than that.

If your ex tells you that they don’t love you then there’s nothing you can do about it, and they’re certainly not coming back.

The most you can hope for is friendship, but sometimes it’s best to make a fresh start.

17) They return all your stuff

If your ex returns all the stuff you left at their place and even the gifts that you gave them – it means that they don’t want anything that reminds them of you.

It’s like they’re giving back everything that you mean to them and erasing you from their life completely.

If they’ve returned all of your stuff then they’ve made it pretty clear that they have no intention of getting back together.

18) They have completely stopped talking to you

This is the clearest sign that your ex doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore and wants a clean break.

If your ex has stopped talking to you, this means that the relationship is over for good. And honestly, if they don’t want anything to do with you anymore, then walk away from them and don’t look back.

19) They told you to leave them alone

If your ex has repeatedly told you to leave them alone, then you probably should.

You need to respect their wishes and not turn into a stalker.

So: Move on with your life.

20) They’re getting married

This is it! It’s not just a passing fling, they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

I know it hurts but you have to face facts, they’re not coming back because they’re in love with someone else.

Why it’s not so bad that your ex isn’t coming back

We’ve looked at the signs that your ex is never coming back.

While it can be painful to face the fact that it’s really over, it may actually be a good thing.

They were not the one

I know you’re hurting but the thing is, your ex and you were not meant to be together, they’re not “the one”.

Your ex is not coming back which means that you’re free to meet someone better.

Look at it this way: Your relationship with your ex didn’t work out for a reason. But when the right person comes along, it will last and you will be filled with love and happiness.

You didn’t get along

It just wasn’t right. You didn’t get along and you had so many problems that it was suffocating your relationship.

The bright side is that if they’re not coming back, then you no longer have to live with the stress and negativity of trying to make the relationship work.

They were holding you back

If your ex had a negative effect on your life, then it’s not a bad thing that it’s over.

Maybe there were things you wanted to do – such as travel around the world – and your ex was not interested and had no ambitions of their own, effectively they were holding you back.

The bottom line is that if the relationship with your ex was stopping you from achieving anything important in your life, then it’s a good thing that it’s over.

Now you’re free to move forward and achieve your dreams.

You had different values and beliefs

If your values and beliefs were different, then it’s not a bad thing that your relationship has ended.

The truth is that you could not have been happy together because you weren’t on the same page in many areas of your life.

If your ex is not coming back, it means that you’re free to find someone who shares the same values and beliefs as you do.

This will give you a great foundation for a fulfilling future together.

You both needed time to grow

pexels parth soparia 159379 1 20 big signs your ex is never coming back (and why that’s okay)

Your ex is not coming back, but they’re also moving on with their life and are no longer stuck in the rut they’ve always been in with you.

Thanks to your relationship, they are now free to grow and explore new opportunities in their life, and this is something that you need to respect.

You’re just going through a phase of hurt because you miss them, but if you look at the bigger picture and think about how you want to live your life – it’s clear that it’s for the best that it’s over between the two of you.

You wanted different things

Maybe you and your ex were just not compatible in the long run. Maybe one of you wanted a family and the other didn’t.

Or maybe one of you wanted a stable career and the other wanted to travel around and have adventures.

Or maybe one of you really wanted to be there for your family, while the other was always working and taking care of their own needs first.

You’re not getting back together and they’re not coming back because it’s over, but that’s okay because it wasn’t meant to be. Next time around, you’ll find someone who shares your interests and is willing to compromise with you on the important things in life that matter most to both of you.

They wanted to change you

If your ex was constantly trying to change you, then it’s good that they’re gone.

Think about it!

You should be free to be yourself and if your ex was wishing that you were different or insisting that you change your behavior or appearance, then it’s obvious that this relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Doing things your own way is important in life and the only person who can make you truly happy is you.

If someone tries to change the way you are then it takes away your freedom, which means that you’ll never feel truly comfortable in your own skin.

Your relationship was toxic

If your relationship was a toxic one, then good riddance to your ex!

It means you won’t have to be around those bad vibes anymore.

If they made you feel bad in a way that you never thought possible, then it’s a good thing that they’re gone.

Sometimes life brings pain, but it’s also full of new beginnings and fresh opportunities.

So don’t worry, you’ll meet new people and be in healthier relationships.

You argued a lot

If your relationship was full of so much arguing that you ended up tired and exhausted with no energy to do anything fun, then it wasn’t a healthy relationship.

Now, everyone argues from time to time and all relationships have their ups and downs. But if you argued more than you got along, and if your relationship was a constant struggle, then it clearly wasn’t meant to be.

They were cheating on you

Cheaters are selfish and don’t think about how their actions affect the person they’re with.

If your ex cheated on you, then it’s not a bad thing that they’re gone.

You deserve so much better. You should strive to be with someone who loves you and respects you and would never dream of being unfaithful to you.

They didn’t want to work on the relationship

If they weren’t willing to work on the relationship, then it’s not a bad thing that they are gone because that shows that they did not care about you.

Relationships are hard work and if your ex wasn’t willing to make the effort, then it’s obvious that this is not a good relationship for you.


Breaking up is painful, I know the feeling.

You probably feel rejected by the person you love. You feel lost without them in your life. You end up wondering if they’re coming back.

The signs in this article all point to your ex not coming back.

But that’s ok. People get together and people break up. Everything happens for a reason.

Accept that your relationship is over and move on with your life.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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