25 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you (no bullsh*t)

In a man, disrespectful behavior might manifest in a variety of ways, from refusing to do basic tasks to stopping communication altogether.

Most often, a guy doesn’t treat a woman negatively on purpose, but his actions are almost always hurtful to her.

That’s why it can sometimes be difficult for a woman to determine whether her partner’s lack of respect is significant to her and the relationship she’s in.

This could also be your case. So, if you see this man through rose-colored glasses, now would be a great time to take them off and read the truth about him!

Here are 26 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you:

1) He makes mean remarks about your appearance

An obvious act of disrespect is when your partner makes mean remarks about your appearance.

He could say things such as “you’re fat”, “are you really going to wear that?”, or “did you take a look at yourself today?”

He might even brag about his own attractiveness, saying that he’s much better looking than you are.

When he makes fun of your figure, he’s implying that you are not deserving of his love. That’s why it’s disrespectful. It’s demeaning and insulting as well.

Even if he’s right, he shouldn’t be saying it like that.

2) He acts like you never set any boundaries

Women set boundaries with men to ensure that they respect their personal space when they don’t want to be bothered by them.

When you set boundaries, you’re basically saying that certain behavior is not acceptable and that you expect your partner to respect your wishes.

So, it goes without saying that if your man doesn’t respect your boundaries, he’s disrespecting you.

For example, you tell him not to text or call after 11:00 at night (and you tell him often), yet he still chooses to do it. In this case, he’s definitely disrespecting you.

Don’t be bothered with him if he thinks otherwise.

3) You never get the personal space you need

It’s not unusual for men to seek more attention from their partners. However, disrespect is when a man tries to suffocate his partner by crowding her in almost all opportunities.

If your guy insists on imposing himself all the time and won’t let you breathe, you need to tell him that his behavior is disrespectful.

You must remain firm with your statement and not be swayed by his arguments (he will try).

In case he still chooses to disregard your feelings as well as your needs, he’s definitely disrespecting you.

4) His behavior is quite similar to a narcissist’s

Narcissistic people are hell-bent on looking good at all times in front of others as an act of conceit.

They just want to be noticed for their own uniqueness, regardless of the consequences.

If your boyfriend is constantly saying “I’m better than you” or “you are inferior to me”, he’s showing that you’re not as important to him as you’d probably like.

In other words, he’s disrespecting you (and himself). Why?

Because it’s insulting to hear such remarks from your partner, especially when he feels like he has the upper hand in the relationship.

5) He is rude to your friends and family

Your boyfriend’s (or husband’s?) behavior with your friends and family is a good indicator of how much he respects you.

If he treats your friends like garbage and doesn’t respect your family, or if he criticizes them often, he’s definitely disrespecting you and not just showing disinterest for them.

I get it; few people really get along with their partner’s family and friends, but this doesn’t mean they should disrespect them.

6) He doesn’t share much with you and keeps secrets

pexels tima miroshnichenko 5560375 25 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you (no bullsh*t)

Partners in a relationship are supposed to trust each other and be open with each other.

If a man chooses to keep something from his partner, he’s showing that he doesn’t respect her.

For instance, if a guy lies about where he is going for an important meeting, or if he misled you about his whereabouts when he was late because of extenuating circumstances and didn’t give you proper details, it’s disrespectful.

Treating you like you’re a stranger is something you should not tolerate.

7) He flirts with or comes on to other women

Men have this habit of flirting with other women even if they’re in a relationship. It’s just one of those “men things” — they can’t help it, but that doesn’t make it any less disrespectful.

This particular action shows that your man doesn’t take you seriously or value your relationship because he constantly makes passes at other women.

If he’s flirting with or coming on to another woman when you’re together, tell him to knock it off or get lost.

If he chooses to disrespect you, then don’t bother with him anymore.

8) You don’t feel like he’s supportive of you

Knowing that your partner really has your back when it matters most is important when it comes to sustaining a healthy relationship.

If he doesn’t show any interest in what makes you happy, or if he can’t be bothered about how things are going for you, he’s disrespecting you because he doesn’t care whether you succeed or fail.

He may say he’s supportive, but these words are meaningless when his actions speak otherwise.

9) He tells you that you are to blame for his poor behavior

If you support your partner and stand by his side, he should be grateful for your presence.

However, if he acts as if everything is your fault, then he’s disrespecting you.

It isn’t respectful to blame someone for your bad behavior because there’s no excuse for it.

If you have a problem with yourself, take responsibility and don’t blame it on someone else, right?

10) He puts you down and makes fun of you in front of others

There’s a fine line between teasing and making fun of your partner when having a conversation with others. If he crosses this line, then you can be sure that he’s disrespecting you.

For example, if your boyfriend is talking to his friends and says, ” I can’t believe she said that”, or “it’s hard to date her because she needs too much attention while we’re out together”, he’s disrespecting you.

There are plenty of men who engage in such behavior, so if he says and does things like this, he’s showing that he doesn’t care about your feelings.

11) He keeps interrupting you when you speak

Somehow, men always seem to be in a rush. They can’t stop talking even if the person they’re speaking to isn’t done talking.

The same happens with your boyfriend. He gets all flustered and starts interrupting you.

If this happens (and it happens often), he’s disrespecting you because he doesn’t care about how you feel whenever he’s speaking over you or trying to interrupt your conversation.

When he does this, he’s not even listening to what you have to say, but rather thinking about his response.

12) He makes you have lots of doubts about yourself

When you realize that you no longer trust yourself, it’s a sign that your relationship is not working.

I’m not saying this to upset you, but to get you in touch with the reality of the situation.

If he makes you doubt yourself and makes you feel inferior, he’s disrespecting you.

Let’s say he cuts your opinions short and says something like “you’re wrong”.

What happens next? You start doubting yourself because he treats your views as if they were terrible or nonexistent.

13) He doesn’t say he’s sorry

Your partner, be it a boyfriend or husband, doesn’t apologize to you.

On one hand, most of the time he doesn’t admit he did something wrong. So why would he apologize?

On the other hand, even if he knows it was his fault and the thing he did upset you, he still doesn’t say he’s sorry.

When a man doesn’t apologize, it doesn’t only mean that he’s disrespecting you; it also means that he doesn’t care about your feelings or about the relationship.

14) He doesn’t help you with anything

When you’re in a relationship/marriage, there are things that you expect your partner to do for you.

These include, but are not limited to helping you with your household chores, taking care of kids, caring for aging parents, etc.

If he doesn’t do these things for you and neglects to help you out in your time of need and requires you to do everything for him (e.g., “I can’t take care of my mother because she needs someone else other than me to take care of her”), then he’s disrespecting you by not meeting your needs.

15) He gets really jealous for no reason

Jealousy in a relationship shouldn’t exist because it’s just not healthy. So, if this man starts acting jealous for no reason, it means he doesn’t respect you and doesn’t value your relationship.

Or, if he gets really jealous when you’re out with other people or at a party, this is another sign that he doesn’t respect you. He’s wrong to think you’ll do “God knows what”.

He shouldn’t be jealous unless he feels insecure about his love or commitment to you or if something happened in their love life before.

However, this is not an excuse for his jealousy and shouldn’t be a reason to tolerate his bad behavior.

16) He calls you all sorts of hurtful names

patronizing behavior in relationships

Just like the other disrespectful behaviors, this too should be a red flag for you to take heed.

If he calls you names that are hurtful or insulting, it shows that he doesn’t respect you and your relationship.

For example, if he calls you, “dumb,” “ugly” or “stupid” all the time, then he’s disrespecting you because this behavior is demeaning and hurtful.

17) He never takes your side with anything

One of the most important things you can do in a relationship is to keep your partner’s trust and stand by their side.

Basically, if he never agrees with you on anything, it means he doesn’t respect and value your opinion, which is not okay.

Moreover, if he always agrees with the other person, he’s probably doing it on purpose.

Yes, you read that right! He is probably hurting you on purpose.

How do I know? It’s because he’s purposely making you feel bad about yourself.

18) He often gives you the silent treatment

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that’s designed to hurt and humiliate the victim.

The person disrespected with the help of such treatment will feel like they’re being punished for something they didn’t even do.

If this is happening in your relationship, it means that he doesn’t respect you because he thinks it’s okay to hurt you like that.

19) He doesn’t fulfill his promises or agreements with you

If your partner promises to do something for you or with you but then doesn’t do it, he’s disrespecting you.

Moreover, if he makes agreements with you but still fails to keep them, he’s disrespecting what the two of you have together.

In other words, the brutal truth is that he’s dishonest, untrustworthy, and doesn’t deserve your love.

20) He doesn’t act like a team player

One of the most important things in a relationship is teamwork.

A man who doesn’t work with you and makes no effort to resolve conflicts shows that he doesn’t respect your relationship or himself.

If you’re dating someone like this, don’t let it get out of control, and don’t let him hurt you even more.

If you’re in a relationship where your partner abuses and disrespects you, it’s time for you to get out. It’s not healthy for anyone to put up with abuse.

21) Your boyfriend ignores you more often than not

This guy stopped looking into your eyes when you talked. He stopped making you feel like you’re the reason why he’s still breathing. He started to ignore you and ignore your needs.

Unfortunately, these are all signs that your relationship is in trouble. If your partner is constantly ignoring you, then it means he doesn’t respect you, and the relationship itself deserves better.

In addition, if he stopped communicating with you and started talking badly about you, he might be trying to hurt you in the process. Watch out for that!

22) He makes fun of your life goals

If your boyfriend makes fun of the things you have your mind set on and especially the things that are important to you, he’s disrespecting you.

This demonstrates that he doesn’t consider you an equal in his life and doesn’t respect your qualities as a person. Also, he doesn’t respect your choices and is judging you.

So, maybe it’s time for you to find a better boyfriend.

23) He tries to take control over you

If your boyfriend is trying to control you, then he’s disrespecting you.

According to various experts, the one who controls the relationship doesn’t respect their partner as an independent person and they don’t allow their partner to be themselves.

They manipulate their partner by giving them orders and having everyone else treat them as if they’re in charge too.

So, if your partner is trying to control you and make you do things that you don’t want to, it could be time for you to run the other way!

24) He often yells at you

This guy is constantly yelling at you, calling you names, and insulting you.

No matter what you do, he’s the one who always makes things worse or says mean things to hurt you.

You’ll start to think that this behavior is normal, but it’s not okay at all.

If your boyfriend shouts at you frequently, it means he’s not respecting you or your relationship.

25) He always finds excuses for not doing something

You want to do something with him and, after agreeing, he makes excuses for not being able to come.

Next, when you get upset, he accuses you of not respecting his decision.

What is this?

I hate to break it to you, but by behaving like this he’s just making a fool out of you.

What makes a man disrespect you?

Okay, so now that you know what disrespect looks like and how you can spot it, we need to answer another important question:

“Why do men disrespect women?”

The fact is, sometimes the signs are easy to see. Other times, it takes a strong woman just to recognize them.

Reasons men disrespect women could be:

  • They have self-esteem issues, which makes them want to feel powerful in the relationship.
  • They feel jealous and insecure, which makes them try to dominate the situation.
  • They don’t want to be hurt, so they try to control you and make you do what they want.
  • They feel rejected or not wanted, so they use disrespect as a defense mechanism against your rejection.
  • They think they are superior, so they feel it’s normal for them to disrespect you.
  • They have had negative experiences with women in the past, so they assume they can do the same thing in your relationship.
  • They feel like they can treat you however they want and it’s okay because they’re men, and you’re just a woman.
  • They think it’s okay to treat you in any way because you’re desperate for love and attention.
  • They have low self-esteem and have a need for approval from others, so they pretend to be the perfect guys in front of people to make them feel good about themselves.

According to an article published by Psychology Today, the reasons men disrespect women can be categorized into three things:

This may sound like complicated stuff. But, simply put, if your boyfriend isn’t respecting you, it’s not because of you.

Regardless of what he might be telling you, you are not to blame.

Don’t get me wrong, though; I’m not saying that nothing is your fault. However, being disrespected isn’t.

How do you get a man to treat you with respect?

pexels kampus production 7895748 25 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you (no bullsh*t)

You shouldn’t expect your partner to automatically start treating you with respect. If you want him to treat you with respect, you have to show him that you deserve it.

But how do you do that? Here’s what needs to happen:

Commit to respecting yourself first!

You can’t expect someone else to respect you if you don’t first. It’s not fair.

Show up as your best self!

You have to be honest about who you are and what you want out of life.

If you tell him what you need instead of waiting for him to tell you, then he’ll understand that he needs to respect you, too.

Stand up for yourself!

You have the right to make your needs heard and not be ignored or controlled because you’re a woman.

You need to communicate your needs, and if he doesn’t respect you, then it’s not his problem anymore.

Be the best version of yourself!

You can’t expect someone else to treat you like a princess when you’re not one yourself. If you want someone to treat you with respect, then make sure that they know that they need to.

Show your partner respect!

Remember: respect is what he’s been craving for, not you. If you treat him like a king, he’ll probably treat you like a queen, too. After all, love is about giving.

Remind him that he’s worthy of you!

When your partner disrespects you, remind him why he’s even with a woman like you.

Tell him that he needs to remind himself of his worth as a person and know that it doesn’t mean he has to disrespect women to make himself feel good about who he is.

He disrespects you and he doesn’t deserve you. Should you leave him?

The answer to this question depends on the severity of the disrespect. Sometimes, you can get your boyfriend to change if he recognizes his behavior and feels bad about it.

But, if he’s not open to change, or if treating you with respect isn’t important to him, then it’s time for you to leave him in peace!

Your happiness depends on it. No one deserves someone who doesn’t appreciate them. And at the end of the day, what matters most is not what other people think of us, but how we feel about ourselves.

Picture of Daniela Duca Damian

Daniela Duca Damian

I’m Daniela, a passionate writer with an academic background in journalism. My work is based on research and facts. In recent years I have focused on the study of interpersonal relationships, analyzing, and writing about aspects related to social connections, romantic relationships, but also personal development. My goal is to decipher the most confusing concepts so that anyone who is interested in living a better and fulfilled life can apply them. When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life.

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