You’ve had a crush on him for a while, but you’re not sure if he feels the same way. Maybe he’s just shy, or maybe he is just hard to read.
But what if there are signs that he wants to keep you in his life?
Here are 32 undeniable signs your crush wants to keep you around for the long haul.
Let’s dive in.
1) He has eyes for one person only, you!
You’re out together hitting the clubs. There are tons of gorgeous women all over but he’s not bothered.
Most men seem to have whiplash when they’re surrounded by a harem of babes, but nope, not your guy!
He doesn’t even seem to notice them. He is fixated on you and only you.
This is a huge sign that he sees you as a long-term partner.
2) He wants to spend time with you!
He might have a very busy schedule but by no means is it stopping him from spending time with you.
If he’s clearing his calendar to see more of you, it’s an undeniable sign that he wants you in his future.
3) He’s protective over you
He knows that you are different from the other girls.
He sees you as his better half and he will do anything to keep you safe. He wants to protect his girl and so, comes your very own personal hero!
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
4) He always looks his best for you
This is the kind of guy who takes a lot of pride in looking good.
He’ll make sure he looks his absolute best for you, by wearing trendy clothes, amazing smelling cologne, and not having a hair out of place.
He loves to impress you and will go to every length to look good for you because he wants you to be part of his future.
5) He defends your honor
The fact that he will stand up for you and defend your honor shows that he respects you greatly.
This kind of man is loyal and committed to his girl because he knows she deserves someone loyal and committed to her.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to see a long-term future with you.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
6) He’s hot and cold
A lot of women don’t like “hot and cold” types. They aren’t sure what to make of them because they don’t know how to read them.
A hot and cold guy is someone who can be very loving one minute, but then the next minute cold as ice.
Well, because he doesn’t want to be rejected by you.
He’s testing the waters to make 100% sure that you are the one he wants to spend forever with.
7) He uses “we” statements, not “I”
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s so true.
A lot of guys use “I” statements, which is a form of self-centeredness. They say things like “I want to do this with you, or I love doing that ”
A guy who uses “we” statements shows that he values your opinion and wants to work together with you to achieve things together.
Another undeniable sign that you’re his long-term bae.
8) He’s not afraid of being vulnerable
A man who is afraid of being vulnerable will probably never commit to you because he doesn’t want to risk rejection.
He’s perpetually on guard because being vulnerable is risky for him and makes him feel unsafe.
When you show him that you accept his vulnerability and won’t reject him for what he says, then things can —he may be willing to commit himself after all!
It’s also a sign that you have a lot in common and that you have the potential to make a great long-term relationship.
9) He’s got the right amount of confidence
He got “game” (confidence). He knows how to get what he wants in life, and isn’t afraid of it!
But on that note, he’s not obnoxiously confident, which is such a turn-off.
If a man knows how to get what he wants in life, and isn’t afraid of it, then he has confidence. Confidence is the key to being able to get what you want in life.
10) He’s not self-absorbed
He genuinely cares about others and their feelings and concerns. He doesn’t have an “I’m so great, and you’re not” attitude.
He puts your needs above all and always makes sure that you come first.
If he’s acting this way, it’s for good reason. He knows how valuable you are to him and sees you as long-term potential!
11) You get on well with his friends
It’s not only important to get along with his friends but also, to take a close look at who he is hanging out with.
As the adage goes “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.“ This can be very telling of a man’s character.
If his friends are a bunch of deadbeats who sit around jobless smoking weed all day long, chances are, he’s not going to be a great long-term partner.
12) He introduces you to his family
One of the most important things in life is family.
When a guy wants you to meet his mom, dad and siblings it’s a very positive sign that things are progressing well!
He trusts that his family will like you because they are just as excited about this relationship as he is!
Also, he plans on sticking around and wants them to love you as much as he does.
13) He anticipates what you want and needs
He knows what makes your heart beat faster, what makes your tummy tingle, and what makes your smile appear.
Because he’s been taking notes on what you like and what you don’t so that he can impress you.
If he’s doing this, it’s a very positive sign that he sees you as a long-term partner.
He knows what you want and he’s willing to go above and beyond to get it for you. He’s committing to being your best man.
14) He makes you feel better about yourself
When a guy is truly in love with you, he will always make sure that you are happy and feel loved and appreciated.
He’ll never make fun of your insecurities but will instead make sure that he puts them aside so that he can focus on being your hero.
He wants to be the one person who makes you feel beautiful inside and out, not just physically but mentally as well.
15) He doesn’t mind if you spend time with your friends
In fact, he will encourage it.
A smart man knows that to have a balanced relationship that will work in the long run, you both have to have your own identities.
This includes you spending time with your friends and him spending time with his guy friends.
16) He’s genuinely interested in your interests
Men are attracted to women who are independent and have their own interests and hobbies.
He knows that if he wants you, he has to be able to keep up with your hobbies and interests.
He will always make sure that he finds ways to learn about your life so that he can have something new and exciting to talk about with you.
It also shows that he’s invested in figuring out what makes you tick because he sees you as a long-term partner.
17) He doesn’t give you ultimatums
There’s nothing worse than being given a silly ultimatum.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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It’s super childish, a major turn-off, and screams desperation.
If your man is long-term material, he understands that a relationship is 50/50.
He’s not going to force you to do something that you don’t want to do nor put you in a position where you are forced to choose one or the other.
This shows that he respects you, understands that you are your own person, and is capable of making the right decisions.
18) He always makes sure that his actions are in sync with his words
Men tend to be more direct than women.
This is because men think about what they want and say it, whereas women tend to be more passive and wait for men to tell them what they want.
He’s not going to make promises he can’t keep, but he will make sure that his actions are in sync with his words.
19) He trusts your decisions and respects your opinions (even if he doesn’t agree with them)
He never tries to change your mind about anything, but instead makes sure that he listens carefully so that he can learn what you like and don’t like.
If you find yourself on different sides of the fence but can still agree to disagree, this is a very healthy sign that you guys are going to make it.
20) He’s not afraid to show his feelings for you
Or, talk openly about them.
Most men want to puke at the very thought of getting all “mushy”, talking about their “feelings.”
Honestly, It’s like trying to draw blood from a stone most times so if he’s opening up and showing-telling you what he’s feeling, this is a surefire sign that he sees you as a long-term prospect.
21) He doesn’t try to change you
Remember how Kanye came in off the bat and literally obliterated Kim’s entire fashion identity?
In hindsight, it didn’t work out very well now, did it?
So, if a man is really into you and wants you in his life as a permanent fixture, instead of trying to change you, he’s going to embrace you the way you are.
That includes both good and bad and everything that makes you unique. He accepts you as is and he is thrilled with who you are.
Not who he wants you to be.
22) He claps when you’re winning
He’s proud of your achievements and doesn’t begrudge you anything.
He’s your biggest cheerleader and he is always trying to motivate you to do better.
I’ve heard horror stories from women who go so far as to hide their achievements and successes in fear of overshadowing a man, so if he’s clapping for you, he’s a keeper.
He’s proud of you and wants you to know it because you’re going to be together for a very long time!
23) He buys you thoughtful gifts
The key here is “thoughtful and meaningful.”
He’s not the kind of guy who buys you a dollar store plastic rose and a hideous nylon teddy bear.
Yes, it’s the thought that counts at the end of the day but seriously, yuck!
He’s the kind of guy who knows that you’re different from the other girls and he wants to show you off to the world by buying you meaningful things.
You know, like a pair of hand-made earrings, or a necklace with a special meaning to you
When he takes the time to select special, meaningful gifts for you, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s trying to lock you down for the long haul.
24) He’s awkward around you (in a goofy way)
Not, dork awkward, but more like Pete Davidson awkward.
The kind of awkwardness where he seems nervous around you but is trying to be super smooth.
When he acts like this in your company, the chemistry between the two of you is palpable. So much so that he’s a little unnerved.
So, if he seems to fidget, tells lame jokes (that are actually funny), and laughs nervously around you, take it as a fact and not a statement that he wants you for the long term.
This is a huge sign that he has big-time feelings for you!
25) He’s honest and direct
There’s something incredibly refreshing about a brutally honest guy.
He doesn’t beat around the bush and he’s not the type to be overly romantic or sweet (unless he’s doing it on purpose).
He’s just straight-up honest and direct. And he doesn’t mind saying things you might not want to hear in a relationship.
Because honesty and truthfulness are signs of integrity.
He clearly has loads of respect for you and wants to build a solid foundation to build a long-lasting partnership.
26) He respects your boundaries
He knows that you have a life outside of him and he doesn’t expect you to be his everything.
He respects your boundaries and makes sure that he doesn’t step on them.
Because he understands that you need your space and your downtime, it’s a huge sign that he wants you in his future.
27) He’s not afraid to say things like, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.”
He’s not afraid to tell you when he feels strongly about something or when he’s not happy with how something is going in the relationship.
He’ll also apologize if he needs to.
A man who can do this shows that he’s a good guy and good long-term boyfriend material.
28) He gives you space
Have you had the displeasure of a man who’s always up in your grill?
Seriously, I had a guy who made me feel asthmatic and I don’t even have asthma.
A good boyfriend respects that you are a busy woman and will not try to control what you do in your day-to-day life.
He will make sure you have time for him, but also understands that you are busy with work and social activities too.
He wants this relationship to be as much about the two of you as it is about him.
And he knows that if they aren’t equally important to each other, they won’t last long!
29) You have great conversations
I’m not talking about the kind of conversations where you two are just chatting aimlessly.
I’m referring to the kind of conversations where you actually learn something new together.
Where you talk about things you don’t know much about, and he teaches you something new.
A healthy long-term partnership needs great communication and seamless, stimulating conversations to be successful.
30) You have a shared sense of humor
Humor is a very important trait to look for when you’re considering a relationship.
If both of you have a similar sense of humor, it’s much easier to relate to each other and laugh together.
So, if you both laugh your asses off at the same things whether it be “The Office” or Southpark, it’s a good indicator that you’ll make it through the long haul!
31) He always texts you first
It’s always the lady’s job to initiate the first text.
Or is this just because you haven’t met the right person yet?
A man who’s looking for a long-term bae understands that you have a busy life and that you might not always be available to text him first.
He also knows that it means a lot to you when he texts you first.
I told my boyfriend this in a text message once: “I love it when you text me first. It makes me feel like I’m the most important person in your life!”
And he replied: “You are the most important person in my life! I’ll wait forever for your texts, my gorgeous angel!”
This is when I knew we were going to be spending the rest of our lives together!
32) He’s a little jealous of other guys
Has the green-eyed monster made a cameo appearance in your love life with him?
If so, it’s a huge sign that he’s invested in you.
He doesn’t want another man snagging you away from him, so he’ll like to be jealous of other guy friends.
By now you should have a good idea of why he’s looking at you as a long term partner.
So what can you do to lock it in?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder