18 signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it

It’s hard to read a man’s mind. They can be difficult creatures to figure out.

You spend a lot of time together, have great conversations, and feel a certain spark when you are around him, but you’re just not sure if he’s into you.

No need to fret. We’ve all been there. “How can I know if he’s into me?” is a common problem we women have.

The truth is, though, that most men are straightforward when it comes to their feelings.

He may be sending you all sorts of signals that he is thinking about you a lot, even if he’s trying to hide it.

There are some clear signs to look for that will give you a high degree of certainty about whether or not you’re on his mind. Here’s how to find out if a man likes you:

1) He doesn’t talk about other girls

One of the strongest signs that a man is thinking about you a lot, even if he tries to hide his feelings, is that he doesn’t talk about other girls in front of you.

He might mention an ex if you specifically ask, but more or less he won’t discuss the opposite sex with you.

He wants to keep his focus on you and not mess up any chance he has with you because he is thinking about you in a way that is more than just friends.

He doesn’t want to make you feel jealous or burden you with thoughts of other women that he is trying to sort out.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t hesitate to open up about his crushes, past loves, and future romantic dreams.

But that’s not what he’s doing, because you’re on his mind.

If he never mentions other women in front of you, it’s intentional.

He is scared that it will make you think that he has feelings for somebody else when his interest is in fact on you.

2) He cares what you tell him

Another one of the clearest signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it is that he cares what you tell him.

Some guys show this more than others.

He may not visibly react to what you tell him and it might seem to go over his head in some cases.

But the proof is in the pudding.

If this guy recalls and brings up specific details and points that you shared about yourself later on it means he was actively listening to you and takes a deep interest in you.

He wouldn’t care about what you say to him if he didn’t value you.

But since you matter to him, he does notice what you talk about and will think about what you tell him often.

3) He doesn’t “leave you on read”

Guys who don’t think about you have an annoying habit: they “leave you on read.”

Whether it’s texting, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, or anywhere else, they scan over the preview of your message and intentionally don’t read it or respond to it right away.

This way you can’t be sure they saw it and they also don’t have to answer.

It’s the ultimate form of digital passive-aggressiveness.

The opposite is a man who thinks about you a lot and wants to hear from you. He wants to receive your messages and respond and converse with you.

Even if he hasn’t told you how he feels about you, if he reads your messages and answers them when he can, then you can be sure that he is prioritizing you and thinking about you.

He’s not interested in game playing or mind acrobatics.

If he wants to talk to you he does.

Watch out for guys who have zero interest. It’s almost always evident in their texting behavior.

If a guy isn’t interested in you, he’s not going to bother putting time and effort into regularly texting and communicating with you.

If he’s always responding to your texts that’s a heavy hint that you are on his mind.

4) He cleans up well before seeing you

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Even if he isn’t ready to admit it, a guy who thinks about you a lot puts effort into his appearance.

The obvious signs that he is paying more attention to how he looks around you is to watch if he:

  • Spruced up hair or use of gel or mousse
  • Smoothly ironed and tended to his clothes
  • Wears a classic style and tight-fitting t-shirts to show off his physique
  • Puts on well-maintained, clean shoes
  • Displays a close shave or well-kept beard
  • Wears his best watch, nice sunglasses, or other eye-catching accessories

Of course, he could just be a stylish man. That’s fully possible, especially if you’re currently hanging out in Paris and the guy is a yacht owner called Jacques who dabbles in modeling.

But what I’m getting at here is that if you want to know if you’ve been on his mind, look what he puts on his body when he goes out with you.

A guy who thinks of you a lot and cares what you think of him will put time and effort into his appearance.

5) He’s protective of you

Next up in terms of important signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it is that he’s extremely protective of you.

This may be physically and when around you, like walking close to you and helping you up steps, or standing up for you in conversations and ensuring that the world treats you right.

It can also be in more subtle ways, such as going out of his way to help you resolve smaller issues you’re having and long-term frustrations.

This can also come out as jealousy. He won’t be thrilled to hear about other guys who are into you or vice versa.

If he is thinking about you a lot, but holding back how he feels about you, you’ll usually be able to notice the bad mood he gets in when other men flirt with you, or when you talk about someone else you might like.

As Ell writes at Forgetting Fairytales:

“If a guy likes you but is hiding it, you’ll notice he can actually get pretty jealous or overprotective.

“So he won’t like you talking about other guys, he won’t like hearing about you going out with other guys, and if he has to – he’ll ask a lot of questions or find reasons to put them down!”

6) He’s understanding about your issues

This is one of the most crucial signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it. He’s understanding about your issues.

If a man takes the time to get to know you, he is sensitive to how you might experience the world.

This may be a little hard to grasp especially if you’ve been through multiple toxic relationships, but when you start noticing it, know that a guy who’s understanding about your issues is one who’s good for you.

In fact, it’s one of the things renowned shaman Ruda Iande stresses in his Love & Intimacy Masterclass.

He says that we’ve been surrounded by so many toxic teachings about love and relationships that sometimes we end up thinking we don’t deserve more than that, which makes it harder for us to love ourselves.

So, if this guy is understanding about your issues, perhaps it’s worth giving him a chance, because who knows? Someone like him might just be exactly what you need to love yourself more.

But if you need more solid validation, I suggest checking out Ruda’s free Love & Intimacy masterclass — there’s no harm in trying, right?

Click here for the free masterclass.

7) He engages with you on social media

What do you usually do when somebody is on your mind? I usually go to social media or the internet and try to find out more about them or see what they’ve been up to.

It’s the same for a guy who’s interested in you but seems like he is hiding his interest.

He will engage with you on social media.

This may start as just following you, but if he’s not too shy or awkward it will generally evolve into him liking your posts, commenting, and even having discussions or private chats with you.

That’s because you’re on his mind and he wants to feel more connected to you, even if he is shy about asking you out or telling you.

Like Natasha Ivanovic says:

“Whatever you post, whether it’s funny or not, he’s one of the first people to like your posts. Stalker?

“Nope, just one of the classic signs he thinks about you a lot. He would only subtly like all your social media posts if he kept thinking about you all the time.”

8) He visibly brightens up around you

Another of the signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it is that he visibly brightens up around you.

If his frown turns upside down when you’re around then it means you’re someone he thinks about often.

When you like someone they have the power to turn your day around.

When you have feelings for a specific person, they affect you much more than other people do and they can have such a positive impact on your life every time they’re around.

When you like someone and they’re on your mind in this way, you’ll notice that they feel better when you are around them.


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9) He keeps bumping into you

Another one of the undeniable signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it is that he keeps bumping into you.

I mean this literally and in the sense of meeting you.

He may often show up where you are in various places during your day or week, passing it off as a coincidence.

That’s because he wants to maximize time with you.

Secondarily, he may often brush against you or find a reason to lightly touch you or let his fingers linger when you touch.

As Sonya Schwartz writes:

“If this guy is attracted to you, he will want to touch you and feel the spark of your skin on his. As much as he wants to hide the fact that he likes you, he won’t be able to control the urge he has to touch you.

“Therefore, you will notice that he touches you a lot more than he does to anyone else. He might make excuses up to touch you, or he might just try to blend it in naturally.”

10) He likes to tease you a bit

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If a guy thinks of you a lot but doesn’t want to show it, one of the ways it will be obvious is that he will tease you.

This may be jokes and funny things he says to you, or playful pokes, shoulder rubs, and light play shoving.

This teasing can be cute if you’re interested in someone, or annoying as hell if you’re not.

One clear thing is that you’ve been on his mind and he likes you if he is going out of his way to be cleaver and make jokes with you.

He’s trying to make you smile, laugh, and respond to him because you matter to him.

11) He wants you to think the best of him

If you’ve been on a guy’s mind it’s because he cares about you and hopes that you take notice of him, so he will often go out of his way to impress you.

This might come across as trying hard to highlight his achievements and best qualities and let you know what he’s proud of in his life.

Or he might just play it cool and let you discover all the wonderful things he does quietly.

But watch how he does it.

You will be able to see subtle clues that he cares about you if he takes time to look for your reactions. Like, he’ll tell about landing a big contract at work and then look to see if you are smiling, excited, and proud of him.

If he’s thinking about you a lot, he wants you to think the best of him.

12) He’s super curious about you

When a man thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it, that’s because he finds you interesting.

He may be interested in your body, your mind, your heart – or all three.

But rest assured that something special about you has caught his interest and his attention.

If he is interested in you, he will ask you a lot about yourself. He wants more fuel for the fire, to feed his curiosity about you.

If he’s super interested in your life and never gets bored when talking to you then it’s probably because he thinks about you a lot, but isn’t quite ready to admit it to you.

13) He loves talking to you about almost anything

Another one of the top signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it is that he never gets tired of talking to you.

Even if you’re discussing lawn irrigation or different types of salad dressing he looks like he’s interested and hearing about the discovery of a new universe.

That’s because when you’re on his mind you’re an object of attraction, fascination, and curiosity.

He will start conversations with you whenever possible and love to talk to you for as long as he can.

“If the guy often starts conversations, that implies that he wants to talk to you,” notes Ruth Jesse.

“It can also mean that the person wants to know about you, and hence, that is a sign that he likes you.”

14) He’s more interested in you than in his phone

These days it’s hard to meet anyone who’s not superglued to their phone.

But a guy who thinks about you a lot and is interested in you will have a shocking behavior:

He’ll be more interested in you than his phone.

I know this sounds hard to believe…

But it’s one of the clearest signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it.

It’s easy to lose your thoughts and focus on something else when you are interested in the person you are spending time with.

If he didn’t care, his mind would wander, and he’d be looking at his phone often to see if he has messages from friends, other women, or fun plans coming up.

But he’ll be more interested in you than his phone if you’ve been on his mind.

15) He likes to meet up with you whenever possible

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If you’re looking for signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it, then take a look at his schedule. Does he open it up for you?

Even a guy with a packed and busy schedule will go out of his way to spend as much time with you as possible if he likes you.

If you’ve been on his mind, one of the top things he will have been thinking of is how to spend more time with you.

As such, he’s likely to get very creative about spending time with you, meeting you, or even just having daily interactions with you of some kind.

As Rachel writes at Doctor for Love:

“He often passes by your desk and asks silly questions; he even sends you funny memes, TikTok videos, or tags you in random posts you might be interested in.

“He might even organize a night-out, a hike, or even a barbeque, and he will make sure you are coming as well.”

16) He wants to know what makes you tick

When you’re looking for signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it then look at the kinds of questions he asks you.

A guy who’s got you on his mind will be intensely interested in what makes you tick.

He wants to know what motivates you, and why you do what you do.

If he is interested in you, he’ll try to figure you out.

From your beliefs about philosophy and politics to your spiritual path…

He’ll be all about those deeper questions and want to know why you do what you do.

17) He has amazing memories of you

Another of the top signs he thinks about you a lot, even if he tries to hide it, is that he has great memories of the two of you together that he’ll bring up often.

He’ll recall a special moment you both shared months or years down the road with a big smile across his face.

You’ll know he’s trying to hide his feelings because he can’t help but grin when he talks about great moments that you’ve shared.

If he’s openly talking to you about these moments, you can be sure you’re on his mind and he cares about you.

For this reason, his brain is devoting more energy to remembering what you share with him.

18) He gives you crucial and helpful advice

A guy who thinks about you a lot also thinks about your issues and how to help fix them.

He will take the time to offer his advice.

His advice will be well-thought-out and considerate.

If he cares about you a lot but tries to hide it, you’ll still feel that he cares for you if he’s putting some real thought and heartfelt feeling into what he’s advising you.

That’s because he truly wants to help you and be there for you, not just say whatever is easiest to get the subject over with.

20) He starts taking an interest in your interests

When a man is truly interested in you, he’s also fascinated by your interests.

This is one of the clearest signs he thinks about you a lot even if he tries to hide it.

He gets keen on what you get keen on. Even if it’s completely out of his experience.

Whether it’s cooking or competitive equestrianism, he’ll be all about learning more from day one. He might even try to join you in your passions.

That’s because you’re on his mind and he loves learning more about you and what you like to do.

When will he make his move?

After reading this list of signals you’re probably thinking: OK, cool, I see that he does think about me often and is probably hiding his feelings for me.

So when will he make his move?

This leaves you with two options.

You can wait and be patient.

If he can’t get you off his mind, sooner or later he’s going open up about how he feels and ask you out.

He won’t want to hide his feelings for you. He will want you to know that you’re on his mind and that he cares about you a great deal.

But why wait?

Your second option in hand is much bolder.

Have you thought about making the first move?

If you are into him, why are you holding back?

You can respond to his clear signals and interest and let him know how exactly how you feel about him.

Take the matter into your own hands

I know this can feel scary and daunting.

It’s much easier to wait for someone else to act first, to let them tell us how they feel, instead of making ourselves vulnerable and open up to the possibility of rejection.

But what’s holding you back?

I mentioned Rudá Iandê’s Love & Intimacy masterclass before, and in this same masterclass, he  explains that the more you feel empowered, the more you won’t hesitate to take your life into your hands.

Rudá’s online course walks you through how to build an empowered, loving, and healthy relationship with yourself so that your relationships with others also improve.

He helps you to increase your deep inner sense of self-confidence, and to understand yourself better so that you can speak straight from your heart.

If you are tired of playing games, or fed up with trying to figure out someone else, or feel impatient waiting around to express how you feel to someone who you care about, then Rudá’s honest and open discussion about healthy relationships is a great place to start.

Click here for the free masterclass.

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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