17 signs he is interested but wants to take it slow

If you’re wondering if he’s into you, but he’s hesitant to make a move, don’t worry — there are quite a few signs that your guy is interested in you and wants to take things slow.

The key to knowing whether or not he is interested in pursuing something with you is understanding the subtleties of his behavior.

If he does these 17 things, then it may be time for you to sweep him off his feet.

1) He wants to spend time alone with you

This one is very important!

If he’s taking every chance he can to be around you, hold your gaze, or listen intently to every word out of your mouth, it’s certainly a good sign that he’s interested.

It could just mean that he enjoys spending time with you and doesn’t want it to end.

He may even want to take things slow with you since he doesn’t want to give too much information away on one date.

That’s totally cool!

But give this guy a chance — maybe he really wants to be with you!

2) He responds to your text messages in a timely manner

He might send your text message right back or wait a few hours before responding – but if he takes forever or doesn’t respond at all, then maybe he’s not interested.

If he wants to take things slow, then he’ll wait before responding so as not to appear too interested too soon.

If he likes you, then he’ll respond right away.

If he doesn’t, then maybe you should let him go so that you don’t waste any more of your time thinking about him or trying to get his attention. He may just not be that into you.

3) He often finds small ways to touch you (e.g., your hand, your back)

This can give you a clue that he’s interested without coming right out and saying it.

If he touches you naturally, then it could be a sign that he wants to touch you more.

It could also mean that he’s just really comfortable around you or perhaps even truly likes you.

Pay attention to the small details because they can mean a lot!

4) He insists on walking you to your door

If this guy isn’t interested in taking things slow with you, then he won’t insist on walking you to your door at the end of the night.

Instead, he’ll give you a peck on the cheek and send you on your way.

But if he’s interested, then he’ll offer to walk you home.

If it’s a nice night out, then why not?

And even if it’s a terrible night out and pouring rain outside, he might still insist on walking you home.

5) He doesn’t try to have sex with you right away

If he likes you, then he’s smart enough to know that if you have sex with him on the first or second date, then you’ll drop him like a bad habit.

And he doesn’t want that.

He wants to keep things interesting and exciting for both of you by taking things slow.

He’d much rather use his time and efforts on stuff like getting to know you better, going out with your mutual friends, or doing something fun together.

pexels andy barbour 6684512 1 17 signs he is interested but wants to take it slow

6) He acts weird around you

He could be nervous and act awkwardly around you.

This can be frustrating for women, but it’s totally normal for guys who are shy and are unsure about how to act around you.

That’s okay!

Don’t take it personally if he seems a little weird the first few times you hang out with him. He’ll learn not to be awkward after a few more dates.

Actually, you can help him from this awkward moment by giving him some space and making him more comfortable.

7) He’s super attentive to your needs (your friends, your family, etc.)

If he’s really interested in you, then he’ll look out for the little details that make you happy.

He’ll act happy and enthusiastic when you ask him how his day is going or how his project went.

He’ll even help out with your friends and family if they need it.

All of these behaviors are signs that he wants to take things slow with you or already feels very strongly about you.

8) He’s always cracking jokes

If your guy likes to make you laugh, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s interested in you.

If he only does it around you, then good chance he wants to be funny for your attention or affection.

It could also mean that he wants to take things slow and doesn’t want to appear too interested.

Though, either way, if your guy is trying to make you laugh, then he’s most likely into you!

Don’t be shy — just give him a chance. Maybe he’ll surprise you.

9) He compliments you

He may be nervous around you, so he’ll probably compliment you instead of telling you he likes you.

But if your guy is really into you, then he’ll not only tell you how beautiful or sexy or special you are but also tell you how much he likes spending time with you.

He may talk to his friends about all the amazing things that happen when he’s with you.

10) He wants to know what you are up to all the time

He could be asking about you because he’s interested in you and is genuinely curious about your life, but it could also be that he doesn’t want to let you slip away.

If he realizes that he might lose out on a relationship with you, then he will start to ask questions.

He’ll want to know everything about your life and do whatever it takes to make sure that his chances of getting close to you don’t go down.

11) He asks you about your goals in life

This is a good sign.

He can be interested in you without wanting to get too involved.

He may not want to commit or ask for too much of your time right away, but he wants to know the things that matter to you so that he can hold his own personal goals and desires close to his heart.

He wants to know what matters most to you so that he knows how far he’ll have to go in order to meet those challenges.

He’s showing that he cares what other people think and that he’s willing to put in some effort if this relationship will last a while.

12) He places his hand on your lower back when you two are out together

Yes, it’s true!

This could mean that he’s interested in you and that he’s trying to show it subtly.

It shows that he is willing to put himself out there and take a chance on you by getting close to you physically.

He might even put his hand there when asking you a question.

He’s not going for the kill just yet, but he does want to show that there is an attraction between the two of you.

If he’s interested and wants to take things slow with you, then that’s all the more reason for him to be touchy-feely with you.

pexels shvets production 8036678 1 17 signs he is interested but wants to take it slow

13) He calls or texts you late at night just to talk

If he’s interested, then he might call or text you late at night just to talk.

He may even be waiting up until 3 a.m. so that he can call and hear your voice before he goes to bed. Or he stays up late to chat with you so that he can send you a goodnight text.

This is actually a sweet thing to do if you want to show your interest in someone — it’s an easy way for him to let you know that he misses talking with you and wants more of your time.

14) He shows up at events where he knows you’ll be present

If he shows up to events where you’ll be present, then that is a very good sign.

Maybe you’re a mutual friend of his and your other friend’s, but he still decides to attend.

Or maybe he always shows up at the parties that you attend too so that he has every opportunity to talk to you or even just say hi.

For example, if you and your guy both like to go to concerts, then it could mean that he’s interested in you.

15) He is paying close attention to your reactions

If he’s interested in you, then he’ll take a second to find out what you think.

He’ll ask you questions about yourself and look into your eyes with genuine interest when he asks them.

This one is a pretty big deal!

It means that he wants to know more about you and is willing to show his interest by taking the time to get to know you.

If he’s truly interested in you, then he’ll pay close attention to your reactions and get excited when you laugh at something that he said.

Maybe he’s not always saying the right thing, but if it’s funny or you like his style, then it could be a cue that there is something developing between the two of you.

He’ll feed on your laughter and want more of it.

This could mean that he’s interested in you and wants to hear more of your laugh.

16) He takes off his shirt at the beach or pool

If this guy is really into you, then he’ll go overboard to show you his body.

He might take his shirt off on the beach or at the pool.

He may even take his shirt off in front of you in an effort to get you to pay attention to him.

If he’s trying so hard, then maybe he wants you to notice how fit he is or how well his chest muscles look in that tank top.

17) He invites you to hang out with his friends

If he likes you, then he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible.

And to do that, he’ll probably invite you to hang out with his friends.

Even though he wants to take things slow, inviting you to hang out with his friends actually shows how much he’s into you.

Maybe he just wants to see how you’ll interact with his friends and maybe that’s why he wants to hang out with them.

Either way, if he invites you to hang out with his friends, then it’s a good sign that he likes you.

Strategies for dating men who are taking things slow

Men who want to take things slow can be a challenge.

They know that they like you, but they don’t want to rush things.

They may not be completely sure of their feelings and are keeping things close to the vest.

But if you’ve got a guy who is waiting for the right time to tell you how he feels, then you should definitely take action!

1) Flirt with him

If you want your guy to realize that you like him, then flirt with him!

It’s an easy way to tell him that you’re interested without having to come right out and say it — and he’ll be sure to pick up on your subtle cues!

The questions above will help you figure out whether or not he’s interested in you; but if he is, then flirting with him is a good way to show it.

If he plays hard-to-get, then play hard-to-get back!

But don’t cross the line and make things too awkward for the two of you.

2) Be honest about your feelings

If he doesn’t want to talk about anything serious with you, then don’t go there with him — talk about other things that interest both of you!

If he wants to learn more about your passion for sports or your newfound love for cooking, then that’s a great thing!

He’ll get to know you through some of the things that matter most to you.

3) Make eye contact with him

If your guy is taking things slow, then make sure to have plenty of eye contact with him.

Men are attracted to strong women and will be put at ease if you make their knees weak.

The longer you stare at his eyes and smile, the better it is for both of you.

Staring directly into his eyes without blinking will help show him how much you are interested in him.

4) Be yourself!

Some men may not feel comfortable opening up about their feelings, especially if they aren’t sure of what to say or how you’re going to react.

So if you like the guy, then he’ll probably like you too — but he’s going to take some time before approaching you with his feelings.

It’s better for him to make sure that the two of you are on the same emotional level before moving forward in any way.

By being yourself, you will show him that you’re comfortable around him, and he’ll start to open up.

But I know that being yourself is tough. Especially in a world that tells you to be a certain dress size, to wear certain clothes, to say only certain things, and to enjoy only certain hobbies.

Then shames you for not being yourself.

It’s tiring work, but lots of us have to dive deep and get to grips with how we dress ourselves up for society. Then undo that work.

Rudá Iandé’s free Love and Intimacy Masterclass is a perfect place to start when it comes to asking yourself what you’re looking for, and uncovering what’s holding you back.

He’s a world-class shaman and educator who has made it his life’s mission to help bring down the walls between romantic partners.

There will be many men that look your way, but be sure you know what you want and what your expectations are.

Setting these early means you’ll be on a swift path to finding the perfect partner who complements all of the goodness you have to offer.

Click here to access the masterclass and give it a go for yourself.


I know that men are usually quite impulsive and would rather jump into things as soon as they think of it.

But if you want to date someone nice and considerate, then you have to be patient.

And if you can be patient with him, then there is a possibility that he will be patient with you too!

There are plenty of guys in the world who would love to get to know you — but they just aren’t sure how to show it.

But if you’re looking for a nice guy who wants to take things slow, then these tips will help you find out whether or not he is interested in dating you.

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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