Guys don’t often share their feelings with others.
It’s what makes them both attractively mysterious but also endlessly frustrating.
He can confuse you; his intentions aren’t always obvious.
He might ask you out for lunch, but back out at the last minute.
You could both be joking around together one day, but be awkwardly distant the next.
These mixed signals could actually be a signal in themselves: he might like you, but he might not be too sure, either.
But to help you at least find some clarity in your situation, here are 15 signs that might confirm to you that yes, he’s caught feelings, but is scared.
1. You Often Catch Him Looking At You
You might be reading a book or you’re busy on your phone, then when you look up, you catch him looking at you – until he quickly looks somewhere else as if nothing happened.
This might not be such a big deal at first, but after catching him doing it multiple times already, it’s natural to wonder what’s going on.
He might not even understand what’s going on either.
If he constantly denies staring at you often, he might either just be lying to you or himself.
He might not yet have fully processed his thoughts about you – that, or he has, but hasn’t had the courage to tell you yet.
2. He Always Seems to Gravitate Towards You
You’re at a party, mingling with other people, then you turn around and see he’s right there too, as if he were waiting for something.
When you enter a meeting room for a briefing, you take your seat and who should you find beside you?
This might start feeling strange and more than just some random coincidence.
He might not be saying it yet, but he sure is showing it: he wants to be close to you.
When you bring it up to him that he’s always beside you, he might say he doesn’t even notice.
While it might really be nothing, if it happens often, that might mean there’s something deeper he’s hiding.
3. He Remembers What You Said in Passing
You’re casually talking to him about random things.
At some point, you might have said that you really enjoy cookies and cream ice cream.
It might have just been a small detail to a story you were telling; it didn’t seem significant to you.
But it certainly might have for him.
A few days later, he might surprise you with the exact cookies and cream ice cream you mentioned was your favorite.
There’s a tendency for men to remember just about everything a woman they’re attracted to likes, even if it was just something said in passing.
This attention to detail he has for you might mean he thinks of you more than just a friend.
4. You make him feel like a hero
When a guy likes someone, it’s often because you have triggered something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs.
What is it?
To like a girl (and eventually fall in love), a guy needs to feel like he’s your protector. And that you genuinely respect him for doing this.
In other words, he needs to feel like your ‘hero’. Because when a man loves you he wants to be the one guy you can count on. It’s a key and subtle sign that he likes you.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
Although you may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want him to fall in love with you, then you have to let him.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.
5. He Focuses on You
When you’re talking together at a noisy cafe, he isn’t distracted by the surroundings.
In fact, he’s placed his entire attention on you. He might not even notice when the barista calls his name at the counter to get his order.
This is typical behavior of a smitten man.
The whole world tends to blur and there’s nothing else that matters except the person he’s most attracted to.
It’s the same reason why he’s able to spot you in a crowd.
He might pass it off as just being observant, but he might just be covering up something else.
6. His Friends Say He Talks about You Often
His friends have become your friends, maybe just by running in the same social circles or working on the same floor.
When you find yourself in a moment alone with his friends, they might bring up the fact that he talks about you often.
It might shock you at first.
Why is he talking about me behind my back?
But his friend might simply reassure you that everything he’s said has been positive and that he compliments you.
This might be made stranger if he doesn’t even compliment you directly. This could mean something deeper.
7. His Mood Improves When You’re Together
When you’re with him, the energy is positive.
You laugh and you have conversations about just about anything.
But when you talk to other people about him, they say he seems like such a serious guy.
It’s difficult for anyone to get him to laugh, much less smile.
This seems strange to you because he always cracks up at your jokes, no matter how seemingly unfunny they are.
This is a sign he’s got a soft spot for you.
There’s an unspoken thing he has for you, and that might be a sign that there are feelings developing under the surface.
8. You’re Often Smiling and Laughing Together
Most people don’t understand your jokes and references – but he does.
You both share the same sense of humor and can talk for hours on end about topics ranging from politics, religion, to conspiracy theories and life on other planets.
You might not even have realized that you’ve been talking for hours already.
You might think to yourself that he’s just a good friend and you really have a nice connection.
But it wouldn’t be too radical of an idea that there’s an attraction going on there.
9. He Wants to Know What Your Future Plans Are
Is talking about his future plans with you? Is he asking you about your future plans?
Then there’s a good chance that he is thinking about a future with you. Do you fit in? Are you going to be compatible together?
Even though he might be scared about his expressing his feelings for you, he can’t help but think about how a future with you would turn out.
Furthermore, he might be trying to impress you by sharing his plans for the future. He wants to show that he is a man with ambition unlike a lot of the other guys.
He’s not just thinking about the short-term. He is thinking about the long-term and that’s a great sign that he might want to have a relationship with you.
10. He Ignores You Sometimes
One of the behaviors that men tend to have when they’re confused or unsure about their feelings is when they act hot and cold with you.
You might be having a good time one day, then the next, he replies to your texts late, he seems bothered and stressed, but he doesn’t show it.
He might have asked you for lunch but then backed out at the last minute without warning, and without much of an explanation.
This might be because he knows if he continues to pursue you, he’ll just fall for you even more – which is something he might not be ready for just yet.
11. He’s Always on Your Side
When you have a disagreement with others, he’s always there for you, supporting your arguments and defending you.
When you feel insecure about yourself, he’s always there to hype you up and encourage you to show the confidence he knows you have.
He doesn’t say he loves you, but deep down you can sense that he does.
He just hasn’t said it yet.
This is a way of showing you that he cares about you.
When you ask him why he’s being so nice, he might just say it’s what friends do.
But if you notice that he only does it for you, then something might be up.
12. He Always Compliments You
Whenever he sees you, he always says how much he likes what you’re wearing.
When you make a mistake, he’s there to help you feel better.
When others disagree with you on something, he praises you for being confident enough to share your opinions so openly.
The strange thing is that he tends to be the only one complimenting you.
Not many people compliment you for a job well done, so it always catches you off-guard when he does it.
He might not mean anything to them, but it could also be an indirect way of him saying that he likes you – he just hasn’t said it directly since he’s afraid.
13. He Acts Nervous Around You
You might consider yourself good friends for some time but recently he’s been acting differently.
He seems more frazzled than usual, stumbling on his words and being clumsy with his things when you’re around.
You might ask him what’s wrong, but might simply reply saying it’s nothing.
But in the back of your head, it might definitely be something.
He wasn’t always like this.
There’s something on his mind that messes it up – and it might be he’s confused feelings for you.
14. He’s Always Up To Spend Time With You
You might say that you’re just going to pop out to the store for a few minutes to buy something. It’s nothing particularly exciting.
But he’s always eager to say, “Need some company?”
Or he might even try to hide wanting to be with you, so he says, “I think I need to pick up some things from the store too.
Can I tag along?” to keep it subtle.
When someone’s attracted to you, nothing is too boring as long as they’re with you.
This might be his way of wanting to spend more time with you without saying it.
15. Why He’s Like This and What You Can Do About It
He might certainly have caught feelings but he’s keeping you at an arm’s length away for reasons he might not have been able to explain to you yet.
Maybe he’s been scarred from his last relationship and he wants to protect himself from another heartbreak.
That also means you should protect yourself too.
Sure, he might be attracted to you, but don’t try jumping to anything just yet.
If he’s still figuring out his feelings, he needs time and space to do so.
It’s also a way to protect yourself.
Don’t commit to someone who may not even be ready to commit to you too.
Want to really know how he feels? Ask him!
Remember, sometimes the best way to find out if he likes you is to ask him, or let him know that you like him. There really is no reason to play games.
However, the confusing thing can be that he may not even know the answer…
Men are wired differently from women. And they’re driven by different things when it comes to relationships.
I know this because I’ve been an emotionally unavailable man my whole life. My video above reveals more about this.
And learning about the hero instinct has made it crystal clear why I’m like this.
It’s not often that a mirror gets held up to my lifetime of relationship failure. But that’s what happened when I discovered the hero instinct. I ended up learning more about myself than I bargained for.
I’m 39. I’m single. And yes, I’m still looking for love.
After watching James Bauer’s videos, I realize that I’ve always been emotionally unavailable because the hero instinct was never triggered in me.
My relationships with women involved everything from “best friends with benefits” to being “partners in crime”.
In hindsight, I’ve always needed more. I needed to feel that I was providing something to my partner that no one else could.
Learning about the hero instinct was my “aha” moment.
To learn how the hero instinct can help you find love, watch this excellent free video.