7 signs a man wants to be more than friends with you, according to psychology

Figuring out if someone likes you is not easy—especially if that someone is your male bestie.

After all, what if they’re simply being friendly?

That’s why instead of just using your gut feeling, you gotta use a bit of science, too.

Here are 7 signs a man wants to be more than friends with you, according to psychology.

1) He jokes about it

If he’s a confident and funny guy—and he’s head over heels in love with you— he would make jokes about the two of you getting hitched.

“Hello there, my future wife!”

“I know you secretly want me…you can make the first move, go on.”

Or “Come on now, I wouldn’t marry you unless you learn how to drive!”

Sigmund Freud had many views on humor, one of which is that jokes expose unconscious desires.

While not all jokes are “half meant”, if it’s something like the ones I’ve listed above, I can bet my last dollar that it is.

Especially if you see all the other signs in this list!

Not only is he revealing his repressed desires, he also does this to gauge your reaction.

For example, if you say “Ewww, no! You’re like my brother!”, then he’d step back to the friendzone.

But if you blush and tease him back and even pretend you’re his gf, then he’d know he’s got a chance with you.

2) He gives you special treatment

He gives you favors left and right. 

When there’s only one seat/ chocolate/ pizza/ ticket left, he gives it to you.

When your group of friends have to decide where to have lunch, he asks you first.

When he goes on a holiday, he gives you gifts (but not your other friends).

It’s so obvious that it starts to look like you’re his favorite person!

And the thing is, he might not even be aware of it.

Let’s blame psychology for this.

Various studies have shown the perks of being attractive—from being considered more trustworthy to people being generally nicer to you.

And of course, if he’s into you he definitely finds you attractive even if you don’t think you’re pretty.

So if a guy gives you special treatment, and he does it a lot, trust me— he wants to be more than friends with you.

3) He acts like your hero

Men are born with what relationship psychologists call “the hero instinct”.

It’s their inherent desire to protect the people that are closest to them—especially the ones they love.

Let’s examine the guy.

When you need help, does he rush to your side?

Does he call you just to know if you arrived home safely?

And when someone acts strange around you, does he warn you about it?

Did he ever tell you “If you need anything, I’m just here.”?

If he checks all the boxes, well, that’s one hero right there—your hero at least.

And while he might do this to others, too, you know that your at the top of his priority list.

If this describes your friend, trust me—he’s doing these things because he probably wants to be more than friends with you.

4) His body language shows it

Even if he doesn’t blurt out the words “I like you”, you can tell that’s the case based on how he acts when you’re around.

He shows body language signs that he’s genuinely interested in you, like:

  • He gets too near, then pulls away
  • He gives you the look of love
  • He touches you a lot
  • He mirrors your actions
  • He laughs and giggles

Words can hide emotions, but body language never lies. The body will act in certain ways that can reveal what a person truly feels deep down.

And if he exhibits all of the above, then he definitely wants to be more than friends with you!

5) He’s in a happier mood when you’re around

Love is a drug.

When we’re in love, we’re much happier because we’re high.

When we’re around our crush, our brains release the happy hormones—namely, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin.

Of course, it’s hard for you to tell if you’re indeed the reason he’s happy because you have no idea what he’s like before and after your interaction. You can only be in the present with him.

But other people can see it clearly.

They secretly tell you how you affect his mood.

In fact, some friends tease him for it. The moment you arrive, they say things to him like “Finally you’re full of energy again”.

Poor guy. What can he do?

It’s the happy hormones betraying him!

6) He gets uneasy when you’re with other men

There are three types of jealousy— cognitive, behavioral, and emotional.

Emotional jealousy, according to Dr. Mark Travers of Awake Therapy, springs from a place of love and care.

You know someone’s experiencing emotional jealousy if:

  • They get upset when you show extreme excitement when talking to someone else.
  • They get hurt if you spend more time with another person than with them.
  • They find it annoying when you admire another guy.

According to Dr. Travers, this kind of jealousy, when experienced in moderation, can actually be good for your friendship (or relationship). It serves as a reminder of their feelings for you. 

Jealousy is not a bad thing unless they act out. 

It’s simply their natural instinct to protect what’s most important for them.

So if your friend gets uneasy when you’re with another guy, it could be a big sign that he’s actually so into you.

7) He tries to be more like you

If you tell him you like jazz, his eyes light up and he says he likes them too. But the truth is that he just exaggerated it a little bit so you’ll have things in common.

And when you’re supporting certain causes, he’d support them, too.

You might wonder, doesn’t this guy have his own personality?

Don’t worry. 

He isn’t a copycat, he simply wants you to think that you’re compatible in a lot of things—that you’re meant to be.

What he’s doing is actually clever because it can slowly make you like him even more.

In psychology, there’s what we call “Like-Me” bias. It’s a phenomenon wherein we gravitate strongly towards people who are just like us.

So if you already like him, ask yourself if it’s because you match in a lot of things…it could be because your friend has planted that idea in your head.

Is it bad? Not at all. 

That just means he’s good at seduction and establishing deeper connections.

Final thoughts

So…does this list describe your male friend to a T?

Then it’s probably time to assess how you feel about him.

If you just want to be friends with him, then give him clear signs that you don’t want anything more. That way, he’d get enough hints and move on.

But if you like him too, then give him signs that you’re attracted to him.

That way, you can start a brand new chapter together.

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Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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