10 signs a guy is just being friendly and he is not into you

There’s a really fine line between a guy just being friendly and one who is interested in you. 

When I was in college, I was lucky enough to get to experience both. 

And it wasn’t always easy to pick up on the signs.

It turns out that if a guy is just being friendly, these 10 signs will probably clue you in that he’s not into you.

1) He does not show any interest in meeting up again

This is the ultimate sign that he’s not interested in you

If he’s not asking to see you again, it means that he doesn’t care enough to want to get to know you better. 

If there’s no interest, there is no reason for him not to ask when will be next time. 

The fact is, most men don’t call women again unless they really like them. Male ego and the fear of rejection often make them think twice before asking her out again. 

2) He just wants to communicate through texting 

I have to mention that this is not just for women. Men do this a lot too. 

The reason is simple – they don’t want to talk to you on the phone, they prefer texting because it takes less effort and they can keep it short and sweet. 

It might be fun at first, but if he’s not calling to schedule something in the future or giving you another reason to pick up the phone and call him, then he’s definitely not interested in something serious yet.

Some men just want to be friends, and that’s fine. 

But if you’re a lady with some ambition and you want to meet someone who cares about you, then this is one of the signs that you need consider. 

3) He never texts first

If you have been reading my articles more than a few times, you know that I am a huge fan of the guys who take the initiative to text. 

They are assertive, confident and don’t let fear hold them back from sending you a sweet text. 

If he’s not doing it (and it’s not in the least bit an invitation to hang out), he’s probably just being friendly

It’s just a little more effort to find your number and text you, right?

That’s the main thing to remember. If he’s eager enough to get in touch with you, he’ll do what it takes. If he thinks texting is just too difficult, it means he’s not hooked yet. 

Do you really want a guy who needs all kinds of convincing just to contact you?

When I put this question to the women I know, they all agreed.

4) He is too comfortable around you

One of the best ways to tell he’s interested (or he’s just being friendly) is if he treats you like a little sister or a casual friend. 

This one is a little more difficult because it’s coming from outside of your relationship. 

But, unless he’s making up weird things as he goes along, this is a sign that he doesn’t want to get too close.

You can feel it. He’s too relaxed for his own good – and this is not a good sign. 

Lots of people are like this. It is perfectly natural. Video games, sports teams, hobbies and interests are things that we talk a lot about with friends or family members. 

Guys that think of you as casual friends wouldn’t worry about being a gentleman around you. 

Instead, he’ll talk to you all the time about these things, it means your relationship is very casual and relaxed for him. And if that’s the case, he’s not interested in anything serious yet.

He’d not think anything odd about this because men are not as sensitive as women.

5) He doesn’t pay you any compliments

When I started putting together this list, I thought it was a bit silly. After all, compliments are such a little thing. 

But when I saw my friends react to her crush’s compliments, I understood why it’s something that we should notice. 

If he doesn’t compliment you, it means he’s not even thinking about what kind of person you are – and that is a big warning sign. 

It doesn’t have to be something big like telling you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the room at the party or anything along those lines. 

A little flattery goes a long way. Just a simple compliment about your eyes or hair will do the trick.

The reason men don’t do it is because it’s not necessary to compliment the girl that they don’t have feelings for. 

So if he just talks to you more often than normal but rarely gives you any compliments, then there’s a big chance he doesn’t like you like you thought. 

6) He doesn’t ask about your day

You know the scene in movies when the couple is first having their first kiss, and the girl is all nervous and asks him about his day? 

It’s cheesy, but it works. 

Men love to talk to women. They want to hear what you do all day, where you work and what you do in your free time. 

If he’s not asking about that stuff, it means he’s not thinking about you more than a friend. 

I used to think that if a man asked too many questions, it meant he was trying too hard. But the truth is, the guy who asks is really interested. 

He wants to get to know you better because he’s hoping that you have some common interests that will click. 

He’ll ask about your day because he wants to find out what’s going on in your life and if you’re happy with it. 

If he never asks about your life, then it means he is not interested in knowing more about you. He only thinks of you as a friend that he would talk to when you meet.

7) He minimizes physical contact with you

If he is not touching you or giving you a kiss on the cheek or holding your hand, it means he doesn’t want to go any further. 

And that’s just not something that happens – for a guy, but especially for the well-behaved ones out there. 

You can imagine how much he would want to touch you if he had feelings for you.

Even the kids at the kindergarten often hold the hand of their favorite child as they cross the schoolyard.

If you don’t get that from a guy, then he’s not interested. 

8) He talks about the women he’s seeing and his exes frequently

This is another one of those signs that are easier to spot once you know a little bit more about him. 

If he’s talking about the women he used to date often, it’s not a good sign. 

On the other hand, don’t be fooled if he drops one name occasionally. Occasional talk about his ex doesn’t mean too much. It might just mean that he doesn’t want to talk too much about her because she hurt him or dumped him. 

And if a man likes you, he wouldn’t be so comfortable to mention any other girl name in front of you. Maybe they would if they really mean to make you jealous. 

But you can identify when he mentions someone more than 3 times. That’s when he is into that lady, not you.  

So, if he talks about the same woman over and over again, it means that there still is something between them. 

9) He does not refer to you as “his girlfriend” or “his friend” but rather by your name only

What do I mean? 

If he’s not referring to you at all or is only calling you by your first name, it means he has no intention of getting serious with you.

He also may not address you as “beauty” or “sweety” or anything of that nature. 

Men are usually much more direct than that. They tend to be a little more straightforward and use language that tells us exactly what they’re thinking. 

If he only calls you by your name, it means that he doesn’t want to get too close yet.

10) He is not a gentleman around your friends 

If he’s not a gentleman around your friends, then that means he doesn’t want to be seen as Mr.Charming when he’s with you. 

If there were really feelings involved, he would act like a gentleman around you and your friends because he cares about your opinion of him. 

He will also be afraid of the opinions of people around you. He doesn’t want anyone to tell you that he’s not polite or not a good choice. 

But if he just sees you as a casual friend, he won’t care enough about you to act like a gentleman in front of your friends, because if you weren’t there, he wouldn’t have cared either way. 

Years ago, I believed that this wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t think about my date not being a gentleman around my lady friends. As long as he was polite and a gentleman with me, it didn’t matter what other people thought. 

But actually, when that guy didn’t care enough to act gentle in front of my friends, he wouldn’t worry about being a nice guy when he’s with me too. It’s just because he didn’t want to impress me.  

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Don’t waste your time on guys who are just being friendly. 

I am always amazed at how a man can go out of his way for a woman he really likes. And when they don’t like you, they will behave like a big child with no consideration.

So, if he’s just being friendly with you, you need to do all the work.

I am a strong believer that men are not all bad. But you know, sometimes the ones we meet are not suitable for us. 

I know this sounds like the old “She who laughs last laughs best”, but stick with me because it’s totally true. If a man does not care about you or your feelings, he is probably only thinking of you as a friend, nothing more than that. 

And if he is not interested in you, then you have to set your expectations. If you really like that guy, then go for it. But if you don’t, then I don’t think to keep sitting there wondering if he is going to develop feelings for you or not. 

You will only end up wasting your time on a person who doesn’t understand the special in you.

Instead, take time for yourself.

Take some courses to develop yourself or take time to train for a better and healthier body.

As you become a better version of yourself, you will find that there are a lot of guys around and eager to make you more special than just a friend to them.


There are a lot of signs that can tell you whether your man is interested in you or not. 

When it comes to women, the above ten signs might be pretty good indicators that he’s not interested in you. 

The best advice I have for you is: Don’t waste your time on guys who don’t care about your feelings and only want to be friends with you. The best thing to do is focus on yourself and enjoy life – because sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect them to.

I hope that this article helped you to make the right choice. 

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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