“I really like this guy, and he seems like a great catch, but he’s not ready to settle down just yet. I feel it in my heart that we could be perfect together if only he would give me a chance.”
If this is you, you’ve come to the right place.
If you’re feeling stifled by his indecision and are wondering if you should wait for him or move on.
Here are 7 signs to know he’s worth the wait
1) You’re two peas in a pod
The first thing to look for is that you are on the same page about what you want out of life.
If you both have similar goals and interests and understand one another’s values and perspectives, you’re already a success.
If things are great between you but he’s not ready to commit to the relationship 100% just yet, it’s worth giving him a bit more time.
2) He’s happy when you’re together
When you’re together, he is emotionally available and fully present. You may notice that he doesn’t check his phone often or seem to be looking for an excuse to leave as soon as possible.
He’s a part of the conversation, comfortably holding eye contact with you, looking into your eyes, smiling and laughing with you.
So, what does that mean for you?
His happiness when spending time with you is a sign that you’ve got something special going on that is worth sticking around for.
The important thing is to give him the space he needs and not to pressure or suffocate him.
He clearly loves spending time with you, so let him realize how much he misses you when you’re apart.
3) He was hurt in the past
Now, this is an important bit of information that you must take into account before deciding whether or not to wait for him.
The thing is, he may not be ready to commit because he’s scared of getting hurt, not because he doesn’t care about you.
If he has been hurt in the past, he may be afraid that history will repeat itself which is why he’s not ready to jump in with both feet yet – he needs more time.
But don’t assume that his history of heartbreak translates to a lack of interest in a serious relationship.
Give him time to get over his previous partner and begin healing his heart. While he does that, be there for him and show him that you’re not going to abandon him.
But how can you help him overcome his past issues? What if you’re not strong enough to handle such tough situations in your love life?
If that’s the case, maybe you should reach out to professional life coaches to help.
From my experience, consultation with professional coaches at Relationship Hero is a great way to get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) He’s not afraid to be vulnerable with you
He doesn’t hold back on showing a softer side around you, despite the fact that it might make him uncomfortable or self-conscious at first.
Once he realizes that you’ll accept him for who he is, even when the mask comes off, he won’t be afraid to fully open up. If you are able to make him feel safe to be vulnerable in your presence, then that’s definitely a sign that he feels something for you.
While vulnerability in men comes in a variety of shapes, it’s one of the most powerful indicators of interest and affection.
5) He wants things to work out
Whether or not he’s ready to commit just yet, if he wants there to be a future between the two of you, then there is one.
He wants what you want, he wants your happiness, and he’s willing to give it his all.
In my experience, the fact that he’s not ready to commit just yet is because he’s scared – of getting hurt or of losing you. If he’s putting in all of this effort, he’s clearly not averse to being with you.
Here’s another thing. If he wanted to let the relationship go, then he would. But the fact that he’s trying so hard means that he’s worth waiting for.
6) Consider his timeline
Even if he’s not ready to commit, if he’s already invested in the relationship, it’s for a reason.
Be careful about moving along too quickly and trying to push him into a commitment before he’s ready.
Think about it:
He may be slow but there is a reason for that, so let him work through it at his own pace.
People have different timelines and don’t always move at the same pace, so if he’s a bit slow and you’re in a hurry, it may be time to find a middle ground.
The bottom line is that if he’s worth waiting for, you should be a bit more flexible about your plans for the future and learn to enjoy the present.
7) He tells you how special you are
If your partner makes you feel special and like no one else exists in the world, then he’s worth sticking around for.
It’s true, he may not be ready to commit just yet, but if there is something special between the two of you then he’s going to open up to you, show what’s on his mind and let you in on his feelings.
If he makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world, then it’s worth giving him a chance.
And if he makes it clear how much he cares about you, take notice and make him your priority for as long as possible.
8) He’s protective of you and your relationship
It’s a sign of real connection when he starts to take an interest in you, show concern for your well-being, and feel protective of the relationship.
The fact that he’s already invested in making sure you’re happy is a good sign that he wants there to be a future between the two of you.
If he’s showing this kind of interest in a relationship with you, he is probably going to commit soon so he’s worth waiting for.
What should you do?
So, you’ve decided that he’s a keeper and you want to wait for him. But, it seems to be taking a lot longer than you expected.
What should you do as you wait and what can you do to hurry the process along and make him commit to you?
1) Talk to him about it
It might sound obvious, but the first thing you should do is open up and talk to him about your relationship and how you feel.
If he’s worth the wait, he’ll appreciate you being honest with him and will be more than willing to tell you how he feels and what’s on his mind.
Here’s the deal:
The fact that he’s not ready to commit may not be about whether or not he likes you – it may just be that his past relationship has made him wary of getting hurt again.
If he does like you and cares about the relationship, then this conversation will help him realize how much his commitment would mean to you. It will also encourage him to try and work on his commitment issues.
Try to remember not to beg or pressure him into making a decision; instead, use the time as a chance to get even closer and let him know how much you love spending time with him.
You don’t have to be afraid of being vulnerable and talking about your feelings; in fact, it will increase your chances of getting his heart.
2) Work on yourself
If there’s something that you’re doing – like acting needy and possessive – that is keeping him from committing, then it will only take a little effort on your part to change that.
Ask yourself:
- Have you been acting clingy?
- Have you been texting him all the time and being possessive of the relationship?
If you have, it’s time to start working on those issues.
The next time you two are out together, try to be more relaxed and keep in mind that he’s not required to commit just yet. Practice letting him go from time to time and remember that he does want to be with you.
Easier said than done though, right?
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It did not work. In fact, it only ruined my own self-worth.
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3) Don’t chase him
This is very important to remember: Don’t chase him!
Let me explain why:
You’ve been chasing him and he still hasn’t decided to commit.
If you chase him anymore, it will make you look desperate and needy, which is not something that anyone finds attractive or wants to commit to.
So instead of putting in even more effort in trying to get him to commit to you, take a step back and see whether or not that helps him open up.
He may be scared of your intensity and may feel like he’s being stalked by you. Take some time away from him so that he can miss you.
4) Live your life
Some people forget to live their life while they’re waiting for their partner to commit.
If you are too busy hanging on to him, you might end up missing out on other opportunities.
Just like you can’t force him to commit, he can’t be forced into taking a step forward either. You have to give him a little bit of space and put yourself first for once.
Make sure your life is taken care of first before trying to get his commitment.
If he’s worth waiting for, he’ll want to be with someone who has their life together.
If you’ve been waiting for him and have done everything you can to make him stay, then it may be time to get out there and live your life again. It’s easier than you think.
5) Try some reverse psychology
Sometimes you have to try reverse psychology to get your partner’s attention. If he’s not giving you a time frame and doesn’t seem to have a desire to commit, then act as if you don’t care.
In fact, you may start to show some hesitation about your relationship.
Don’t spend all your time with him, text less often, and take some time off from the relationship.
You’ll want to make sure that you’re not making yourself too available.
Hopefully, this will get him to realize that you’re not going to wait around forever and that he could lose you if he doesn’t take your relationship seriously.
6) Give him an ultimatum
It’s hard to try and determine the right time for someone to commit. So if you’ve given him several chances and he’s still not ready, then it’s time to step up your game and give him an ultimatum.
Tell him that if he doesn’t commit in the next 6 months (or however long you feel works for you), then you’re going to leave. He may be surprised by your decision, but it should also encourage him to make a decision about the relationship.
The point is to show him that if he doesn’t work on his commitment issues now, he could lose you.
7) Take a break from the relationship
Being in a relationship is no easy thing, and it can be difficult to keep both people happy when there are so many other things going on in your lives.
So if the relationship isn’t working well, then it may be time to prioritize you above him and see if you can work things out on your own.
If you’re waiting for him and feel that he’s not making the necessary effort, take some time away from the relationship for a few weeks or so.
Take some time for yourself. Focus on your needs outside the relationship.
- Hang out with your friends
- Take a trip
- Enjoy your hobbies
- Visit your parents more often
This will give you both a chance to reevaluate your relationship and may just be the wake-up call he needs.
All in all, if he really cares about you, he’ll miss you and see how empty his life is without you.
Signs you should not wait for him
We’ve had a look at the reasons why you should stick around and wait for him to commit. But sometimes, a guy just isn’t worth waiting for. Let’s take a look at some of the signs that are a red flag:
1) He wants to keep his options open
If he doesn’t want to commit to you and has several other people on his radar, don’t expect things to change.
Now, he may have told you that he wants to be in an open relationship – which basically means that you’re not enough for him.
If he’s constantly pursuing other relationships, it’s a sign that he either doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship or he doesn’t want to commit to you.
Unless you’re looking for a casual fling with this guy, then don’t wait around for him to commit. It’s time to move on.
2) He’s a player
If he’s still playing the field, not ready to settle down, and doesn’t want to commit, then there is little you can do to change his mind.
If he’s already in his 30s or even 40s and still hasn’t settled down, don’t wait around for him. He might never be ready for a serious relationship and he’s probably just wasting your time.
Don’t waste your time on him – there’s someone better out there for you.
The bottom line is don’t wait around for him at all costs.
3) His priorities are elsewhere
Constantly putting his career or interests ahead of your relationship is a sign that it will never work out between the two of you.
Do I have your attention?
If he’s got his head in the clouds and not paying attention to you, he’s not worth waiting for.
If he can’t be bothered to put any effort into your relationship, it’s time to move on and find someone who is willing to show interest and work towards a happy and healthy relationship.
4) He doesn’t value your feelings or opinions
If he continues to ignore your feelings or brushes them off, then you’ll never be able to have a healthy relationship with him.
If he doesn’t care about your opinions, thinks you’re overreacting, or doesn’t respect your feelings, then don’t wait around for him.
He’s not going to change and you’ll end up feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around him. He’s not worth the trouble and he’s definitely not worth waiting for.
5) He breaks plans last minute
We’re not through yet:
If he habitually calls off at the last minute and is constantly coming up with reasons as to why he can’t make it, then maybe it’s a sign that he just isn’t interested enough in the relationship to be bothered.
He’s stringing you along, clearly not that interested, and too wrapped up in himself to care about your feelings.
The bottom line is that if he’s treating you like an afterthought by canceling plans at the last minute or not committing to them, then it’s probably time to move on.
Don’t wait around for someone who clearly doesn’t respect you and isn’t interested in spending time with you.
6) He tells you he doesn’t want anything serious
You’d think that would be a clear sign that you should move on, but some women think that the guy is only playing hard to get.
The thing is, if he says he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship, then you should believe him.
If you’re waiting around for him to change his mind – you’re probably wasting your time. If you’re looking for more – if you want to get married and have kids – it’s time to move on and find someone who is looking for those same things.
7) You’re tired of waiting
If you’re tired of waiting for him to realize how much he loves you and commit to you; if you’re tired of having your life pass you by, then you should move on.
Find someone who wants the same things you want. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then don’t waste your time on him.
It’s an exciting time in life and there are plenty of people out there just waiting for you!
There is a guy out there who will respect and appreciate you, who will make time for you, and treat you like the queen that you are. You deserve a happy, healthy relationship. You deserve a family.
8) You already gave him an ultimatum
Finally, if you’ve already given him an ultimatum and he chose not to commit, he’s not the one for you. It’s clear and simple so stop fooling yourself by thinking he’ll come around.
Give yourself a chance to find someone who will appreciate and value you! Don’t wait around for someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
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