People with high emotional intelligence think in these 10 unique ways

Lachlan Brown

September 19, 2023
4 min read

Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to handle emotions better?

They understand their own feelings, they get what others are feeling, and they use this understanding to make choices and act.

This ability is called emotional intelligence.

But here’s the cool part: high emotional intelligence doesn’t just mean you’re good at handling emotions. It changes the way you think.

In this article, we’re going to look at 10 special ways that people with high emotional intelligence think.

So, sit back, relax, and let’s take a fascinating journey into the minds of these emotionally smart individuals!”

1. They Listen More Than They Speak

We all know that one person who just can’t help but dominate every conversation, right?

Well, people with high emotional intelligence are usually not that person.

Instead, they’re the ones quietly observing and truly listening to what others are saying.

They don’t just listen to respond or to show off their own knowledge. No, they listen to understand. They give their full attention, catching both the said and the unsaid.

By doing so, they gain a deeper understanding of people around them and their emotions.

So if you notice someone who spends more time listening than speaking, chances are, they’re emotionally intelligent.

It’s their secret weapon to understanding and navigating the complex world of human emotions.

2. They Embrace Change

Change can be scary, right?

It’s stepping into the unknown, leaving behind what’s comfortable and familiar.

But here’s what sets emotionally intelligent people apart – they don’t just tolerate change, they embrace it.

Why? Because they understand that change is a part of life.

They know that resisting it only leads to stress and disappointment. Instead of fighting it, they adapt and look for opportunities in the new situation.

They are flexible in their thinking and can shift their plans when circumstances change.

So instead of dreading change, they see it as a chance to learn and grow. In a world that’s always changing, this ability is a real game-changer. Trust me!

3. They Know When to Say No

This one hits home for me. I remember a time when I used to be a ‘yes’ person.

You know, always agreeing to take on more tasks, always available for everyone, even at the cost of my own peace and well-being.

But here’s what I learned from people with high emotional intelligence: they understand the power of saying ‘No’.

They recognize that time and energy are finite resources, and they choose wisely where to invest them.

They don’t feel obligated to say ‘yes’ to everything and everyone. Instead, they set boundaries to protect their mental and emotional health.

I have adopted this approach now, and believe me when I say, it has been a game-changer. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-care.

And truly, there’s nothing more emotionally intelligent than taking care of your own needs while respecting others’.

4. They Reflect on Their Feelings

People with high emotional intelligence tend to spend time reflecting on their emotions.

They don’t just experience feelings and move on. They take a moment to understand why they’re feeling a certain way.

What triggered it? Is there a pattern?

They use these reflections to learn more about themselves and how they react to different situations.

This self-awareness allows them to manage their emotions better, avoiding impulsive reactions and making thoughtful decisions instead.

So, if you see someone taking a step back to ponder over their feelings, know that they’re flexing their emotional intelligence muscles!

5. They Show Empathy

There’s something truly beautiful about empathy.

It’s the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to feel their joy, their pain, their hopes, and fears.

It’s about understanding that we all have our own battles, and showing kindness and compassion in response.

People with high emotional intelligence excel at showing empathy. They don’t just sympathize – they connect on a deeper level.

They listen without judgment, offer support when needed, and understand that sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say to someone is, “I’m here for you.”

This heartfelt connection they form with others isn’t just good for the people around them; it enriches their own lives too, creating deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

So remember, a little empathy goes a long way in making the world a better place.

6. They Learn from Criticism

I’ll admit it – I used to dread criticism. It felt like a personal attack, something that highlighted my failures and shortcomings.

But then I observed that people with high emotional intelligence approach criticism differently.

They view it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

That shift in perspective changed everything for me.

Now, when someone offers me constructive criticism, I try not to get defensive or take it personally.

Instead, I listen, reflect on it, and see if there’s something I can take away from it to improve myself.

Of course, it’s not always easy, and sometimes the criticism isn’t fair or helpful.

But by keeping an open mind and focusing on the potential for growth, I’ve been able to turn a situation that used to bring me down into a stepping stone for self-improvement.

And trust me, that’s a liberating feeling!

7. They Accept Their Mistakes

We all screw up. We’re human, it’s part of the package deal. But emotionally intelligent people? They don’t try to sugarcoat their mistakes or pass off the blame. No, they own up to their mess-ups.

They admit when they’re wrong, they apologize, and they make amends. There’s no ego trip, no ‘too proud to admit I was wrong’.

And you know what? It takes a heck load of courage and self-awareness to do that.

But the payoff is worth it. Because by accepting their mistakes, they turn them into lessons. They grow from them and become better versions of themselves.

And that is how you turn a setback into a comeback.

8. They Don’t Hold Grudges

People with high emotional intelligence don’t hold onto grudges.

They know that holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

It doesn’t work that way. All it does is weigh them down and prevent them from moving forward.

So, they choose to let go. They forgive, not necessarily because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.

This doesn’t mean they forget what happened or allow people to take advantage of them.

It simply means they release the negative emotions tied to the situation, freeing themselves to focus on the present and the future.

9. They Value Authenticity

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from emotionally intelligent people is the importance of authenticity.

There was a time when I would put on different masks, trying to fit in or be who I thought others wanted me to be.

But people with high emotional intelligence? They’re unapologetically themselves.

They understand that authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real and true to who they are.

Adopting this mindset was liberating for me. I realized that it’s okay not to please everyone. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to be me.

Embracing authenticity didn’t just make me feel more comfortable in my own skin, it also helped me form genuine connections with others, based on trust and mutual respect.

So, remember, in a world where you can be anything, be yourself. It’s the most emotionally intelligent thing you can do!

10. They Understand Life Is a Balance

Life is a balancing act, no doubt about it. There are highs and lows, ups and downs, victories and failures.

And people with high emotional intelligence? They get this. They understand that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay.

They don’t expect to be happy all the time. They know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed sometimes.

These feelings don’t scare them or throw them off balance. Instead, they accept them as a part of life and deal with them in a healthy way.

They also understand that failure isn’t the end of the world but a chance to learn and grow.

They don’t beat themselves up when they fall; they dust themselves off and get back up.

So remember, life isn’t about avoiding the storms but learning how to dance in the rain. It’s a messy, beautiful balancing act, and those with high emotional intelligence wouldn’t have it any other way.

Related articles: