Wondering whether a girl likes you or not?
I feel your pain. I’ve never been able to understand what’s going on inside a female’s head, especially if I’m smitten.
But thanks to research on women psychology, I’ve come to realize that it’s not as complex as we might think.
The trick is knowing what signs to look for (while also keeping in mind context).
I spent hours up hours putting together all of the psychology research I could to share with you the most important signs to look for that show a girl clearly likes you.
Here are the 10 most important signs (click on each one to read the full description):
- She looks at you
- She finds you funny
- She “mirrors” you
- She maintains regular contact with you
- She touches you
- She reacts to your body language
- She seems fidgety
- She has an “open” body language and “catwalk posture”
- She’s nervous around you
- She asks you a lot of questions
There are 13 more signs in addition to these ones above, so keep reading the article to learn everything you need to know about whether she likes you or not.
1. She looks at you
You can tell a lot about how often a person looks at you. Nothing screams “I’m interested” more than constant eye contact.
According to ex FBI behavioral analyst Jack Schafer:
“People look at people they like and avoid looking at people they don’t like.”
Fairly obvious, right?
If she can’t keep her eyes off you, then surely she’s intrigued by you for some reason.
But a common theme throughout this article is going to be context.
So here’s what to keep in mind:
- If she maintains eye contact with you when you look at her, she’s most likely interested. She’s probably fairly forward and confident as well.
- If her eyes wander to your mouth, she is definitely into you.
- If you catch her looking and she looks away quickly, she might be into you but is shy about it. You might want to approach her if you see her do this.
- On the other hand, if she breaks eye contact with you and continues scanning the room, that may not be a good sign.
- A huge sign that she likes you is if you’re in a group, she says something and looks to you first for your reaction.
It’s as simple as that. If a girl does her best to avoid eye contact with you, she’s probably not interested.
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The fact is, when someone is attracted to you, they’ll keep looking at you—consciously or subconsciously. They can’t help it.
2. She finds you funny
Your jokes are terrible (in a good way). Everyone tells you so. But this girl seems to think you are the funniest guy on the planet…
It must be love.
The fact that you could win a bad-joke contest, right now, is the greatest thing to her.
Humor is a huge indicator of a positive relationship with a woman. If she engages in humorous and playful banter then she is definitely interested in you.
So stop wasting your time trying to impress women by acting “tough” or “dominant”. You’ll have much more success with women if you just share a few silly stories instead.
I learned this from relationship expert Kate Spring.
As she taught me, humor is a surefire sign of confidence. And confidence sparks something deep inside women that sets off instant attraction.
If you want to boost your confidence around women, check out Kate’s excellent free video here.
3. She “mirrors” you
Do you feel like she’s copying your mannerisms? The slang you use? The pace at which you talk?
If so, then she definitely likes you.
Expert consensus suggests “mirroring” is a major sign someone likes you.
Jane McGonigal, researcher and author of The New York Times bestseller Reality Is Broken, mirroring calls mirroring a “love detector.”
“Every day, we are constantly mirroring—with our facial expressions, with our body language, even with our breathing and heart rates—people who we like.”
Another easy thing to look out for is she uses the same slang or words as you do, or if she is matching the speed you talk.
If your energy is up and you’re excited and then she’s suddenly the same, rapport and attraction is likely high.
4. She maintains regular contact with you
Radio silence is a huge red flag.
When someone likes you, they’ll be interested in getting to know you better. They have to maintain communication with you to do that.
Does she reply to your messages as soon as she can? More so, does she instigate conversation herself?
This is especially the case when it comes to social media and messaging apps. We’re not as embarrassed online and we tend to be more forward, so if they’re engaging with you on social media (even simple “likes” on your photos) then that’s a good sign that they like you.
You can also gauge a lot from the way that she is messaging you. For example, is she just giving you one-word answers that don’t require much effort? Or is she responding to you with thoughtful answers that require more cognitive effort?
If she constantly engages with you with thoughtful answers, she is certainly interested in you.
5. She touches you
Linking her arms to yours, lightly touching your leg when sitting, or even quickly touching your hair—these are really good signs she’s comfortable with you.
It’s also a signal that she is physically attracted to you.
It is also particularly encouraging if she doesn’t shirk away from your touch.
This is a fairly easy one to test out. All you have to do is lightly touch her arm and then watch how she responds.
If she seems comfortable with your light touch and even moves her body towards you, then thats obviously a great sign that she likes you.
On the other hand, if she seems creeped out and instantly moves away, that’s not a good sign.
Of course, if she is initiating touch with you, that’s a fantastic sign. It’s common knowledge that people touch who they like. It means she’s comfortable with you and the rapport is high.
6. She reacts to your body language
How does she react to your body language?
Women are highly tuned into the signals men give off with their body language. And if you’re giving off the right signals, she’ll more than likely respond with an emphatic ‘yes’ to you.
Despite what you may think, women are never instantly attracted to guys because of his looks… or his money… or because of a cheesy “pick-up” line.
If you’re talking to a girl in a bar, or in a coffee shop, or you’ve met up for the first time from Tinder, none of these things matter at all. Women are looking for something else entirely…
What matters to women is simply how you carry yourself around her.
Because a woman can sense weak body language cues from a mile away. If you’re too quiet, avoid eye contact, or you stand weak and limp, then you’re basically inviting women to reject you.
The thing is, projecting confident body language is really easy when you know what to do.
And having cool, calm confidence sparks something deep inside women that always sets off instant attraction.
I overhauled my own body language around women after watching several videos by relationship expert Kate Spring. Here’s a link to one of her best free videos.
Kate gives some incredibly simple body language hacks that you can use today to better attract women.
7. She seems fidgety
You’ll know she likes you if she acts a little bit nervous and awkward around you.
A sure sign is also if fidgets with something while she’s talking to you.
Try to notice if she does these subtle things when you’re together.
Blushing is another great sign that she likes you.
Blushing is when she will develop a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment or shame.
There’s an easy way to test this out. Give her an unexpected compliment and see how she reacts.
If seems a little embarrassed, unsure of how to act and her face appears a little red, then she probably likes you.
However, some girls blush quite easily. So you’ll want to get a baseline of how she acts around other people before you assume her blushing is unique towards you.
8. She has an “open” body language and “catwalk posture”
Another body language sign she’s into you is when she deliberately “positions” herself towards you.
Does her body point in your direction when you’re across the room? Where do her feet point?
Meanwhile, if she has her arms crossed and her upper body positioned away from you, it’s a tell-tale sign she’s not interested.
Also, in order to impress you (if she likes you of course), she may stand taller, puller her stomach in and her shoulder’s back. This is what I like to call “the catwalk posture”.
If she likes you, when she walks past you, she will pull her shoulders back and accentuate her hips just like a model would.
She might not even know she is doing this, but subconsciously she wants to impress you, and a great, proud posture is a good way to do this. Males do it when we’re around a girl we like.
Here’s an example of how she might walk if she knows you’re looking (this is a little exaggerated of course).
9. She’s nervous around you
There’s a difference between “uninterested” and “nervous.”
And a lot of guys don’t know the difference.
When I look back on the girls that I was courting when I was younger, I thought that if they didn’t talk to me a lot, then they simply didn’t like me. Now I realize that many of them may have simply been nervous.
After all, some people tend not to talk much when nervous, right?
On the other hand, some people talk too much. You just need to know which type of person you’re dealing with.
You also need to learn to make them feel comfortable so their nerves dissipate. You can do this by being agreeable, friendly and continuing the conversation in a non-threatening manner.
Anyway, don’t make the same mistakes as me when it comes to working out whether a girl is nervous or not around you.
According to Business Insider, there are 7 body-language clues that tell that someone is nervous which will help you out.
- Face touching – it’s a means of pacifying. When you put pressure on your body part, it’s the brain’s way of being “soothed.”
- Blinking frequently – according to research, blinking your eyes frequently occurs either when you’re nervous or lying.
- Lips compression – compressed lips may mean psychological distress, which can occur when someone feels nervous or under pressure.
- Hair playing – a “pacifying” action that soothes anxiety.
- Hand contortion – interlacing fingers, squeezing hands together, cracking knuckles indicate nervousness.
- Rubbing hands – another display of nerves is when someone rubs the skin of their hands together.
- Yawning – this might be tricky, as it can mean boredom or nervousness. However, research indicates that yawning helps regulate body temperature by bringing cool air into the nose and mouth.
10. She asks you a lot of questions
Is she interested to know everything about you?
From superficial details like your favorite ice cream flavor to deep, intimate questions about your life—if she likes you, she’ll ask a lot of questions.
It’s also proof that she wants you to open up and let her in.
The fact she is making such an effort in the conversation should make the conversation flow fairly easily as well.
Now a quick giveaway to see if she is making an effort is to see if she asks a question when there is a hint of awkward silence.
This shows that she wants to keep the conversation going and, most importantly, develop a rapport with you.
On the other hand, if all she doesn’t seem to really care if there are awkward silences or not and appears like she just doesn’t have much invested in the conversation, then it’s likely she isn’t attracted to you.
11. She allows you in her personal space
Everyone values their personal space.
Many people don’t let someone they don’t like inside their personal space. Some even go out of their way to create boundaries.
But if a girl allows you into her physical or non-physical “space,” then she definitely likes you.
This one is fairly easy to notice. All you have to do is get close to her and see how she reacts. If she is comfortable with it, and even initiates it, then clearly the rapport between the two of you is high.
12. She makes plans with you
If she doesn’t like you, she will make you think she’s very busy and cannot be disturbed. But if she likes you, she will tell you a definite date or time to meet you again.
If she likes you, then of course she will want to spend more time with you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she will say “yes” to any date you want to organize. We all have busy lives.
However, she’ll probably try to organize a time that suits her.
Some girls don’t want to meet after work because they’ll “look tired”. But she will try to meet you sometime at the weekend where she can make herself look pretty for you.
Also, if you have only met her once, or it’s an early stage in the relationship, she won’t say yes to every single one of your advances.
After all, she doesn’t want to appear needy. Females are, in general, more socially intelligent than us males. The last thing they will want to be seen as is “easy” or “needy”.
And of course, if she is initiating a date with you, then she is being pretty direct that she likes you.
13. Her friends know about you
If a girl likes you, her friends will know. Women tell their girlfriends everything.
So if she introduces you to her friends, it’s a sign she sees a future with you. She’ll also ask their approval.
If you’re lucky enough to get introduced, you should also observe the way they act around you. If they deliberately encourage you or give you time to be alone with her, then they not only like you, but they also know she likes you.
They may also laugh with each other or whisper when you’re around.
14. She laughs and smiles with you
Here’s another sure-fire way to know if a girl likes you.
Tell her your corniest joke, and her reaction will be your answer.
Furthermore, if you’re in a group, and she tells a joke or a story and then looks to you first for your reaction, then that’s an excellent sign she is looking for your approval and she is attracted to you.
15. She blushes
We’ve mentioned this one above, but it’s worth mentioning again in more detail as it is such a big sign that a girl likes you.
If she blushes, it’s because she might be a little embarrassed, but it’s only because she wants you to like her, too.
16. Her voice changes
You can also tell a lot from a woman’s voice.
In fact, research shows that changes in pitch and tone are a natural act of human courtship.
A 2014 study found that vocal modulation can increase proceptivity between couples during the early stages of dating.
The researchers wrote:
“Our results suggest that modulating F0 may be a critical parameter in human courtship, independently of semantic content.”
If her voice becomes softer and huskier, it may be a sign that she has feelings for you.
(The Obsession Method is an evidence-based, practical book that unravels female psyschology for single men. Check out Hack Spirit’s comprehensive The Obsession Method review here).
17. She glows
Yes, that’s right.
When a girl is with someone she likes, she literally glows.
People look happier and healthier when they’re in love. That’s because our body reacts well to the love chemicals we acquire when we feel that attraction.
Oxytocin is not called the “love hormone for nothing. When we have it in our system, blood flow is increased. Once it starts flowing, nutrients also flow, which add to that “glowing” appearance.
According to life coach and body language expert Tiffany Toombs:
“When we like someone our pores open, allowing more oil secretion and our skin gets shinier.”
Furthermore, her pupils will dilate if she likes you.
Research from the University of Kent found that eye dilation happens when you’re looking at someone or something you’re attracted to.
This is a great one to notice because it’s clearly something we can’t control. The eyes really can give her away.
Make sure you check their pupils in constant, standard level of light to figure out if they’re bigger than average.
18. She uses the “we” word
Never underestimate the power of the “we” word. It means a lot.
According to Dr. Martinez:
“A woman may speak several times using ‘we.’ Things ‘we should do.’ How much ‘we’ are alike. How ‘we’ have a lot in common or have the same sense of humour. This is a subtle way of letting you know that she would like there to be a ‘we.'”
If she likes to talk about the two of you in the “we” form, then it’s a sign she thinks about you as one unit, rather than think of you as a stranger.
You won’t really get a better signal than this, but it’s one that can go past some guy’s heads, so make sure you’re paying attention the words she’s using.
19. She’s awkward around you
Yes, it’s counterintuitive, but it’s the way it goes.
When you like someone, somehow, you just become an awkward mess around them. This a lot to do with the nerves and the need to impress someone they like.
It can go both ways—she becomes extremely shy or too energetic. Either way, it could be a sign she’s really into you.
If she’s an introvert, she’ll likely become shy and less talkative, whereas if she’s an extrovert, she may talk more quickly, talk more and be excited.
After a while, she’ll become comfortable with you and you’ll be able to read into the other indicators I’ve mentioned in this list.
20. She’s acting contradictory
It might be a little confusing, but if she’s especially a shy girl, or she has an intense crush on you, she can act in a rather contradictive manner.
This is because she’s nervous around you. It’s not about what she says, but how she’s behaving.
Actions speak louder than words, right?
21. She often agrees with you
Who likes to spend time with someone completely different from you?
The ‘Similarity Principle’ indicates that people like to be surrounded by people who share the same interests as them.
The similarity-attraction effect indicates that people are attracted to someone who is like them when it comes to interests, tastes, belief, etc.
It is definitely a good sign if she agrees with a lot of things you have to say, especially on important subjects. If she is always arguing with you, especially during the first few meetings, it might be difficult for you two to develop anything deeper.
22. She eats less in front of you
Women eat less in front of someone they’re attracted to.
According to a Canadian study, women eat less around men than they do when they’re with women.
In fact, the study also claims that men are “negative predictors,” which means that the more times a woman ate food with men, the less she ate.
As to why, Meredith Young, the study’s lead researcher says:
“When it is a date situation, that’s when we see a big difference. You can be judged more or less attractive, more or less feminine, more or less desirable depending on what you eat.”
It’s not her fault. And you should encourage her to be more comfortable around you. However, it’s still a sign she likes you.
23) Some girls will be indecisive
This isn’t necessarily a sign that someone likes you, but I think it’s incredibly important to realize that some girls will be indecisive about whether they like you or not.
These girls will treat you like a king one day, showing all the signs we’ve mentioned in this list, then the next day they won’t show any signs and they might even ignore you.
It could mean one of two things:
1) She’s trying to manipulate and take advantage of you. Maybe she is trying to make someone else jealous or perhaps she wants you to do something for her.
2) Or, she could simply be indecisive and doesn’t really know want she wants.
Either way, it’s important to realize when a girl is being inconsistent in her behavior because she may not truly like you, or even worse, she may be out to use you.
It’s best to give someone like this their space and move on.
It comes down to this…
You can discover a lot by observing a girl’s body language.
According to Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator and bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People:
“Body language is an essential ingredient of attraction. When we talk about love, dating, and romance, body language plays a big role.”
Look at how a girl acts around you to tell if she’s attracted to you. And if you realize that she is, use open body language to let her know you’re interested, too.
Van Edwards explains:
“Both males and females find people with available body language the most attractive. Available body language is smiling, uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs and upward gazing (not looking down at shoes or phones).”
Take note, however:
If you really want to be sure, just ask her.
It’s the best, uncomplicated way to definitely know whether your pursuits will go anywhere. It will also take less time and effort on your part.
After all, life is a risk. Better to follow the same advice when it comes to love.