Are you wondering if a girl likes you or not?
I feel your pain. I’ve never been able to understand what’s going on inside a female’s head, especially if I’m smitten.
But thanks to research on women’s psychology, I’ve come to realize that it’s not as complex as we might think.
The trick is knowing what signs to look out for.
I compiled the top signals in the latest psychology research so that you know exactly which signs a woman sends when she likes you. Let’s jump right in.
1. She looks at you
You can tell a lot about how a person looks at you. Nothing screams “I’m interested” more than constant eye contact.
She might look at you a little longer than you are used to, and if she notices you see her watching you, immediately shy away. Don’t worry, this is a positive signal.
According to ex FBI behavioral analyst Jack Schafer: “People look at people they like and avoid looking at people they don’t like.”
Fairly obvious, right?
If she can’t keep her eyes off you, then surely she’s intrigued by you for some reason.
But here’s what to keep in mind:
- If she maintains eye contact with you when you look at her, she’s most likely interested. She’s probably fairly forward and confident as well.
- If her eyes wander to your mouth, she is definitely into you.
- If you catch her looking and she looks away quickly, she might be into you but is shy about it. You might want to approach her if you see her do this.
- On the other hand, if she breaks eye contact with you and continues scanning the room, that may not be a good sign.
- A huge sign that she likes you is if you’re in a group, she says something and looks to you first for your reaction.
It’s as simple as that. If a girl does her best to avoid eye contact with you, she’s probably not interested in talking to you.
The fact is, when someone is physically attracted to you, they’ll keep looking at you—consciously or subconsciously. They just can’t help it.
2. She finds you funny
If a woman laughs at your jokes, she’s definitely into you.
Even if your jokes are terrible (in a good way). But this girl seems to think you are the funniest guy on the planet.
If she always has a huge smile across her face and can’t stop grinning when she’s around you, it must be love.
The fact that you could win a bad-joke contest, right now, is the greatest thing to her.
Humor is a huge indicator of a positive relationship with a woman. You make her feel good and she lets you know it. If she engages in playful banter then she is interested in you.
So stop wasting your time trying to impress women by acting “tough” or “dominant”. You’ll have much more success with women if you just share a few silly stories and witty insights instead.
Humor is a surefire sign of confidence. And confidence sparks something deep inside women that sets off instant attraction.
3. She “mirrors” you
Take notice of how a woman holds her body and if she mirrors your body language because this can give away if she is attracted to you.
Do you feel like she’s copying your mannerisms? The slang you use? The pace at which you talk?
If so, then she likes you.
Expert consensus tells us that “mirroring” is a major sign someone likes you.
Every day, we are constantly interacting with others. When we pick up someone else’s facial expressions, body language, and even breathing and heart rates it means we are connecting with them on a very real physical and subconscious level.
If she’s taking the time to understand your slang, she wants to understand you more deeply and connect with your world.
Also, if your energy level is up and you’re excited and then she’s suddenly the same, rapport and attraction are likely high between the two of you.
4. She maintains regular contact with you
If a woman is constantly texting and calling you, it means she is thinking about you and interested in you. Radio silence is a huge red flag.
When someone likes you, they’ll want to get to know you better. They have to maintain communication with you to do that.
Does she reply to your messages as soon as she can? More so, does she instigate conversation herself?
This is especially the case when it comes to social media and messaging apps.
We’re not as embarrassed online and we tend to be more forward, so if they’re engaging with you on social media (even simple “likes” on your photos) then that’s a good sign that they like you.
You can also gauge a lot from the way that she is messaging you.
For example, is she just giving you one-word answers that don’t require much effort? Or is she responding to you with thoughtful answers that require more cognitive effort?
If she constantly engages with you with thoughtful answers, she is certainly interested in you.
5. She touches you
Linking her arms to yours, lightly touching your leg when sitting, or even quickly touching your hair—these are really good signs she’s comfortable with you and feels safe around you.
Even the slightest of touch is a signal that she is physically attracted to you.
It is also particularly encouraging to know that she doesn’t shirk away from your touch and body.
This is a fairly easy one to test out. All you have to do is lightly touch her arm with the back of your arm and then watch how she responds.
If she seems comfortable with your light touch and even moves her body towards you, then that’s a great sign that she likes you.
On the other hand, if she seems creeped out and instantly jolts and moves away, that’s not a good sign.
Of course, if she is initiating touch with you, that’s a fantastic sign.
It’s common knowledge that people touch who they like. It means she’s comfortable with you and the rapport is high.
6. She reacts to your body language
If a woman notices and responds to your body language cues, she is certainly noticing you.
Women are highly tuned into the signals men give off with their body language.
If you’re giving off the right signals, she’ll more than likely respond with an emphatic ‘yes’ to you.
Despite what you may think, women are never instantly attracted to men because of their looks, or his money, or because of a cheesy “pick-up” line.
If you’re talking to a girl in a bar or a coffee shop, or you’ve met up for the first time, none of these things matter at all. Women are looking for something else entirely.
What matters to a woman is simply how you carry yourself around her.
Because a woman can sense weak body language cues from a mile away.
If you’re too quiet, avoid eye contact, or you stand weak and limp, then you’re inviting women to avoid and reject you.
The thing is, projecting confident body language is easy when you know what to do.
And having cool, calm confidence sparks something deep inside women that always sets off instant attraction.
It can be a simple matter of standing tall, smiling, speaking clearly, and staying cool and calm.
7. She has an “open” body language and “catwalk posture”
Another body language sign she’s into you is when she deliberately positions herself towards you.
Does her body point in your direction when you’re across the room? Where do her feet point? Her hips?
Meanwhile, if she has her arms crossed and her upper body positioned away from you, it’s a tell-tale sign she’s not interested in getting any closer to you.
Also, to impress you, if she likes you, of course, she may stand taller, pull her stomach in, and her shoulder’s back. This is what I like to call “the catwalk posture”.
If she likes you, when she walks past you, she will have a tall, upright posture, and accentuate her hips just like a model would.
She might not even know she is doing this, but subconsciously she wants to impress you, and a great, proud posture is a good way to do this. Males do it when we’re around a girl we like.
8. She’s nervous around you
When a woman is nervous around a man, it’s a clear sign that she likes him. This can be a hard signal to read because she might seem uninterested.
And a lot of guys don’t know the difference.
When I look back on the girls that I was courting when I was younger, I thought that if they didn’t talk to me a lot, then they simply didn’t like me.
Now I realize that many of them may have simply been nervous and were afraid to approach me.
After all, some people tend not to talk much when nervous, right?
On the other hand, some people talk too much. You just need to know which type of person you’re dealing with.
You also need to learn to make them feel comfortable so their nerves dissipate. You can do this by being agreeable, friendly, and continuing the conversation in a non-threatening manner.
Anyway, don’t make the same mistakes as me when it comes to working out whether a girl is nervous or not around you.
7 clear body-language clues reveal that someone is nervous which will help you out.
- Face touching – it’s a means of pacifying. When you put pressure on your body part, it’s the brain’s way of being “soothed.”
- Blinking frequently – according to research, blinking your eyes frequently occurs either when you’re nervous or lying.
- Lips compression – compressed lips may mean psychological distress, which can occur when someone feels nervous or under pressure.
- Hair playing – a “pacifying” action that soothes anxiety.
- Hand contortion – interlacing fingers, squeezing hands together, cracking knuckles indicate nervousness.
- Rubbing hands – another display of nerves is when someone rubs the skin of their hands together.
- Yawning – this might be tricky, as it can mean boredom or nervousness. However, research indicates that yawning also helps regulate body temperature by bringing cool air into the nose and mouth.
9. She asks you a lot of questions
Does she seem like she wants to know everything about you? That is a tell-tale sign that she’s into you.
From superficial details like your favorite ice cream flavor to deep, intimate questions about your life—if she likes you, she’ll ask a lot of questions.
It’s also proof that she wants you to open up and let her in.
The fact she is making such an effort in the conversation should make the conversation flow fairly easily as well.
Now a quick giveaway to see if she is making an effort is to see if she asks a question when there is a hint of awkward silence.
This shows that she wants to keep the conversation going and, most importantly, develop a rapport with you.
On the other hand, if she doesn’t seem to care if there are awkward silences or not and appears like she just doesn’t have much invested in the conversation, then it’s likely she isn’t attracted to you.
10. She allows you in her personal space
Everyone values their personal space.
Many people don’t let someone they don’t like inside their personal space. Some even go out of their way to create boundaries.
But if a girl allows you into her physical or non-physical space, then she likes you.
This one is fairly easy to notice. All you have to do is get close to her and see how she reacts.
If she is comfortable with it, and even initiates it, then clearly the rapport between the two of you is high.
11. She makes plans with you
If she doesn’t like you, she will make you think she’s very busy and cannot be disturbed. But if she likes you, she will tell you a definite date or time to meet you again.
If she likes you, then, of course, she will want to spend more time with you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she will say “yes” to any date you want to organize. We all have busy lives.
However, she’ll probably try to organize a time that suits her.
Some girls don’t want to meet after work because they’ll “look tired”. But she will try to meet you sometime at the weekend where she can make herself look pretty for you.
Also, if you have only met her once, or it’s an early stage in the relationship, she won’t say yes to every single one of your advances.
After all, she doesn’t want to appear needy. Females are, in general, more socially intelligent than us males. The last thing they will want to be seen as is “easy” or “needy”.
And of course, if she is initiating a date with you, then she is being pretty direct that she likes you.
12. Her friends know about you
If a girl likes you, her friends will know. Women tell their girlfriends everything.
So if she introduces you to her friends, it’s a sign she sees a future with you. She’ll also ask for their approval.
If you’re lucky enough to get introduced, you should also observe the way they act around you.
If they deliberately encourage you or give you time to be alone with her, then they not only like you, but they also know she likes you.
They may also laugh with each other or whisper when you’re around.
So getting to know her friends is a great way to gauge their reaction to you and understand her feelings towards you.
13. She blushes
If she blushes, it’s because she might be a little embarrassed, but it’s only because she wants you to like her, too.
Blushing is another great sign that she likes you.
Blushing is when she will develop a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment. She might not be used to you complimenting and noticing her, and blushing is her way to admit that she likes your attention.
There’s an easy way to test this out. Give her an unexpected compliment and see how she reacts.
If she seems a little embarrassed, or unsure of how to act and her face appears a little red, then she probably likes you.
However, some girls blush quite easily. So you’ll want to get a baseline of how she acts around other people before you assume her blushing is unique towards you.
14. Her voice changes
You can also tell a lot from a woman’s voice.
Research shows that changes in pitch and tone are a natural act of human courtship.
A 2014 study found that vocal modulation can increase proceptivity between couples during the early stages of dating.
The researchers wrote that if a woman’s voice becomes softer or more sultry, then it’s a clear sign that she has feelings for you.
Any change in the voice will reveal how she feels towards you. If she is talking calmly to someone and you approach her and notice that her voice raises in pitch, it’s a clear sign that she’s excited to see and talk to you.
So listen for a lower, huskier voice, or a brighter voice filled with happiness to understand if she is into you or not.
15. She glows
Yes, that’s right.
When a girl is with someone she likes, she gives off a warm, loving feeling and glows.
People look happier and healthier when they’re in love. That’s because our body reacts well to the love chemicals we acquire when we feel that attraction.
Oxytocin is not called the “love hormone for nothing. When we have it in our system, blood flow is increased. Once it starts flowing, nutrients also flow, which add to that “glowing” appearance.
When we like someone and oxytocin is released, our pores will open and secrete more oil, which makes our skin shine.
16. Her pupils enlarge
Another subtle clue to look out for is if her pupils dilate or contract when she speaks with you.
If she likes you, her pupils will get larger. This is a signal that she is feeling relaxed around you in a parasympathetic state, compared to a stressed-out state.
Research from the University of Kent found that eye dilation happens when you’re looking at someone or something you’re attracted to.
This is a great one to notice because it’s something we can’t control. The eyes really can give her away.
Make sure you check their pupils in the constant, standard level of light to figure out if they’re bigger than average because they will change if you go from natural light to artificial light and in different environments.
17. She uses the “we” word
If a woman is using the word “we” to describe plans with you, it’s a clear sign that she’s into you.
Never underestimate the power of the “we” word. It means a lot.
According to Dr. Martinez:
“A woman may speak several times using ‘we.’ Things ‘we should do.’ How much ‘we’ are alike. How ‘we’ have a lot in common or have the same sense of humour. This is a subtle way of letting you know that she would like there to be a ‘we.'”
If she likes to talk about the two of you in the “we” form, then it’s a sign she thinks about you as one unit, rather than think of you as a stranger.
You won’t really get a better signal than this, but it can go past some guy’s heads, so make sure you’re paying attention to the words she’s using.
18. She’s awkward around you
Yes, it’s counterintuitive, but if a woman seems odd and awkward around you, it’s a sign that she is attracted to you. That’s just the way it goes.
When you like someone, somehow, you just become an awkward mess around them. This has a lot to do with the nerves and the need to impress someone they like.
It can go both ways—she becomes extremely shy or too energetic. Either way, it could be a sign she’s really into you.
If she’s an introvert, she’ll likely become shy and less talkative, whereas if she’s an extrovert, she may talk more quickly, talk more and be excited.
After a while, she’ll become comfortable with you and you’ll be able to read into the other indicators I’ve mentioned in this list.
19. She’s acting contradictory
It might be a little confusing, but if she’s especially a shy girl, or she has an intense crush on you, she can act in a rather contradictive manner.
She might say that she wants to go for a walk, but never follow up. Or she might smile at you and then walk away.
This is because she’s a little baffled around you. It’s not about what she says, but how she’s behaving. If she is overthinking what to do around you, she might be thinking about you quite a bit and not sure what to do.
So pay attention to her behaviors. Actions speak louder than words, right?
20. She often agrees with you
Who likes to spend time with someone completely different from you?
The ‘Similarity Principle’ indicates that people like to be surrounded by people who share the same interests as them.
The similarity-attraction effect indicates that people are attracted to someone who is like them when it comes to interests, tastes, beliefs, etc.
It is a good sign if she agrees with a lot of things you have to say, especially on important subjects.
If she is always arguing with you, especially during the first few meetings, it might be difficult for you two to develop anything deeper.
21. She eats less in front of you
If you are unsure of how a woman feels about you, look down at her plate at the end of a meal. Women will tend to eat less in front of someone they’re attracted to.
According to a Canadian study, women eat less around men than they do when they’re with women.
The study also claims that men are “negative predictors,” which means that the more times a woman ate food with men, the less she ate.
As to why, Meredith Young, the study’s lead researcher says:
“When it is a date situation, that’s when we see a big difference. You can be judged more or less attractive, more or less feminine, more or less desirable depending on what you eat.”
It’s not her fault. And you should encourage her to be more comfortable around you. However, it’s still a sign she likes you.
Her stomach might be doing flips as you are talking about her, or she might not want to affect her appearance that she is more aware of when she is out with you.
22) Some girls will be indecisive
This isn’t necessarily a sign that someone likes you, but I think it’s incredibly important to realize that some girls will be indecisive about whether they like you or not.
These girls will treat you like a king one day, showing all the signs we’ve mentioned in this list, then the next day they won’t show any signs and they might even ignore you.
It could mean one of two things:
1) She’s trying to manipulate and take advantage of you. Maybe she is trying to make someone else jealous or perhaps she wants you to do something for her.
2) Or, she could simply be indecisive and don’t know want she wants.
Either way, it’s important to realize when a girl is being inconsistent in her behavior because she may not truly like you, or even worse, she may be out to use you.
It’s best to give someone like this their space and move on.
How are you going to respond to her cues?
So now that you understand her body language and cues to see that she is in fact into you, what are you going to do?
She can smile all day, approach you with open body language, and gaze right at you, but you have an important decision to make.
The way I see it, you can either:
- Patiently wait for her to tell you how she feels and let you know what she is thinking.
- Or you can take action and approach her with curiosity and confidence and ask her out.
What’s the worst that can happen?
You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.
It’s easy to want to connect with someone. To look for signs to see if they are into us.
The sooner you know an answer, the more clear your interactions will be.
But what holds you back?
If you want to be sure if she is attracted to you and into you, just ask her.
It’s the best, most uncomplicated way to know whether your pursuits will go anywhere. It will also take less time, stress, and effort on your part.
How does that make you feel? Nervous?
We’ve all been there. It can seem frightening to make a move.
One piece of practical advice that can help you see this is to listen to Rudá Iandê share a great talk on love and intimacy.
He explains how we can easily fantasize about someone else to make us happy, and talk ourselves out of loving relationships.
Rudá reminds us in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.
Otherwise, we can keep on an endless search and hope for loveless relationships to turn into something more or endure endless date after date that only leaves us cold and empty.
The alternative is to be stuck in codependency and not confident with the wonderful person that you are.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
Gaining the confidence to love yourself and truly feel good in your own skin is the best way to prepare yourself to take action in your love life.
Don’t fear rejection, embrace clarity.
After all, life is a risk. Better to follow the same advice when it comes to love.