Lyndol Lyons
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
No matter what you do, or how hard you try, chances are you’ll cross paths with someone who dislikes you.
If you find yourself facing a scenario where you are forced to be in the company of a person who hates you, all is not lost.
This article reveals 25 practical tips to deal with haters.
Let’s begin.
1) Don’t lose your cool
If you find yourself in the rather awkward and unpleasant scenario where you’re forced to be in the company of someone who dislikes you, it can be a little unnerving.
But there’s no need to panic.
Carry on as you usually would and act unbothered (even if you’re dying inside)
When you maintain your cool and act as if nothing is wrong, the haters will think that you do not care about what they have to say.
Even if you’re legitimately bothered. Don’t show it. It’s sure to drive them nuts.
2) Don’t react to “shots fired”
Your hater is going to try their best to get under your skin.
This is a tactic they use to get a reaction out of you.
A little jab here and a sarcastic comment is their weapon of choice because they want you to react.
When you’re hater throws some low-key shade, simply ignore them.
As the adage goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Let this be your mantra.
By remaining silent and saying nothing, it shows maturity and it also confuses your hater.
Why?
Because when you clap back you’re giving them an opportunity.
Stay silent and don’t give them satisfaction.
3) Let it be
So what can you do to make things less awkward and unpleasant?
Begin with yourself. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isn’t working.
And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential. He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to achieve what you want in life, including how to not let a hater get to you.
So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
4) Figure out how to communicate with them
Look, I get it.
Your hater might be someone who you work with and you’re obliged to communicate with them.
If this is the case, you’re going to have to find a workaround.
You must find a way to communicate with them in a calm and cool-headed manner.
Aim for a non-confrontational approach and use “I” statements.
Things like “When you use inappropriate language around me, I feel like you are dehumanizing me”
Then pause and wait for them to respond.
Be as specific as you can and don’t be tempted to shut them out when they respond.
Hear them out and listen to what they have to say. Maybe their reasons hold some validity, maybe that don’t.
At least grant them the opportunity.
5) Learn how to be civil
Being kind and courteous to everyone is a good general attitude to have and it’s essential when you’re dealing with someone who hates you.
Treating everyone with respect and dignity is the most civil thing you can do so go forth and be kind.
Kind gestures that foster goodwill are always handy as it shows that you’re the bigger person.
When you handle haters with grace and poise it shows integrity.
Remember, manners maketh man so, in a world where you can be anything.
Choose to be civil.
6) Choose your battles wisely
Sometimes you just need to know when to bow out.
Picking an argument with someone who already has it out for you is like walking through a minefield.
An explosion at any moment is imminent.
Most problems are situational and don’t require any confrontation. So, they basically solve themselves.
With that said, know when to pick your battles. Don’t be tempted to react when you’re feeling triggered because it’s likely not going to go well because of your heightened emotional state.
The best thing to do in the heat of the moment is to pause and say something like “Now is not the best time to discuss this”. Let’s meet later.
You’ll find that you’ll both calm down after some time has passed and you will have the ability to deal with the issue like the mature adults that you are.
7) Fake it till you make it!
Keeping your composure isn’t always easy, especially when you’re with someone who’s working on your last nerve.
If you can’t beat them, you should bluff
At times, you’re going to have to put on an Oscar-worthy performance and fake it. Don your best poker face and give them nothing.
Essentially, you’re distancing yourself from them emotionally when you do this which is a great way to give yourself space when you’re feeling like you’re going to unravel.
8) Keep your emotions in check
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
While keeping someone at an arm’s length can be a great short-term solution, it’s not a long-term fix. Especially when this person is a daily fixture in your life.
It’s all good and well to zone out and distance yourself emotionally but don’t do it to such a degree where you’re ignoring them 100%.
Because you might miss the nuances when they’re trying to press your buttons again.
What to do?
Well, when this person starts pissing you off, take note of how you’re feeling inside.
But I get it, letting those feelings out can be hard, especially if you’ve spent so long trying to stay in control of them.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focussing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to take back control over your mind, body, and soul, if you’re ready to say goodbye to anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
Once you figure out what it is, take a moment to recognize it, pause and then allow yourself some space to work through it. When you can, resolve the issue and then return to being yourself.
9) Don’t be bullied
When a hater is treating you poorly, it’s easy to want to give in and do whatever they ask of you.
This is a mistake.
They are trying to use their power over you against you and they’re trying to put you in a corner.
So how do you deal with a bully?
Head on.
Stand your ground and make it clear that you will not be forced or coerced into something you’re not comfortable with.
If someone dislikes you, don’t let them control your life, and don’t let them dictate what you can do or what you can’t do.
If they dislike something about your actions, don’t change who you are for them.
10) Don’t be ashamed to admit It
If you are in the company of someone who dislikes you, don’t feel ashamed to admit it.
Get it all out there in the open and air that dirty laundry if you have to
Let them know that they are right and that they have a valid reason to dislike you. If they do.
However, if they have no plausible reason to hate you and you admit it, they’ll probably end up feeling like a ginormous douche.
11) Don’t try to change them
It is very unlikely that the person who dislikes you will change their opinion about you.
You can’t force them to like you and if they don’t, it is not your fault.
So, don’t be tempted to suck up to them or try to win them over if your previous efforts have been futile.
If you’ve done nothing to them and they hate you, let it be in their consciences.
The best you can do is be civil and stop worrying about it so much.
12) Don’t confuse criticism with hate
This one is specifically for dealing with a boss that constantly crits you.
Just because someone dislikes something about you, it doesn’t mean that they hate you as a person.
If they criticize your work, just take it as constructive criticism and learn from the feedback so that the next time you do a similar project, it will be better than the previous one.
If you’re like me, I often feel as if I’m being attacked or hated when I’m criticized for something.
It’s human nature.
What I’ve learned is that…
13) Don’t let them get to you
It’s easier said than done, but you’re going to have to don a thick skin when dealing with a hater.
Don’t let the fact that they hate you affect who you are.
The truth of the matter is that they don’t truly know you and if they dislike you, it is not because of who you are but because of what they think about you.
If you’re bothered by it, you can show them who you are. Extend an invite to them urging them to spend time with you, heck, offer to buy them lunch.
They might change their opinion, they might not. If after they experience the real you, their attitude might change.
If it doesn’t, they’re not worth your time.
14) Don’t keep your distance
Especially if you’re not required to spend time around this person.
It could be a friend, loved one or, family member that thinks you’re toxic.
Just because someone dislikes you doesn’t mean that the friendship is over or that your relationship needs to change.
If a friend doesn’t like something about your personality, learn to accept it and stay true to yourself, but don’t completely cut them out of your life when all that’s needed is a little bit of balancing.
15) Don’t stick around when they are unreasonable
If someone is being unreasonable or if they are a toxic person, then it is best to stay away from them.
If you feel as though you are being treated unfairly and that the friendship with this person is not healthy for you, then it is best to break it off.
This is especially important if you work with this person. If you find that being around them is too much to bear, speak up. Especially if it starts affecting the quality of your work or, your mental health.
Talk to a supervisor, manager, or human resources representative and find out if they can move this person away from you, or move you somewhere else.
16) Don’t get involved in their drama
They also enjoy making you look bad in the eyes of others.
They live it and want nothing more than seeing you sweat. They also try to use drama to suck you into their sick little games.
If someone has a problem with you, don’t get involved in their drama.
Don’t try to change who you are for them or try to make them like you.
The best thing that you can do is stay out of their drama and stay true to yourself.
17) Don’t let them affect your relationships with other people
Just because someone dislikes you doesn’t mean that they dislike all of your friends or that they dislike all of the people that you like.
Just because one person dislikes another person, it doesn’t mean that they have anything against the rest of the group.
They have their opinions and their reasons, and they’re entitled to have them.
Don’t let someone’s disdain stop you from being friends with people who you care about and enjoy spending time with.
True friends will stick by you through thick and thin. If they’re being poisoned by a hater, maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them.
18) Don’t let them affect your confidence
If someone is saying bad things about you, don’t let that affect how you feel about yourself.
If they are saying negative things about you, it is because of something that they think or because of something that they dislike about you.
Don’t let their opinion change who you are or who you want to be. If someone dislikes something about you, it should have no affect on your self-confidence at all.
I know it’s difficult. We all want to be everything to everyone.
Sometimes, it’s just not possible.
The best thing you can do around a hater is to ooze confidence. Let it radiate and let them see that they have no affect on you.
19) Don’t let them affect your happiness
If someone dislikes you, don’t let it affect your happiness.
If they are saying negative things about you, then that is their problem and not yours.
No one should have the power to make you unhappy unless it is something that you do for yourself.
So if someone doesn’t like who you are, don’t let them affect your happiness or the way that you feel about yourself.
Stay true to who you are and stay true to what makes YOU happy!
20) Look inwards
Sometimes we let our ego get in the way.
For example, sometimes we allow jealousy or envy to get in the way of our relationships., In this situation, exploring your feelings would be the best thing you could do.
Resentment may be playing a role in how you deal with this person.
Another common error is misinterpreting someone’s actions or reading ulterior motives into them.
Ask yourself what experience did this person have with you that might have unfairly influenced their perception of you?
Perhaps knowing their biases or preconceived notions can help you smooth things over.
An important first step toward solving a problem is admitting that you share some of the blame.
21) Know your boundaries and stick to them!
Boundaries are something that everyone should have, but if you don’t know where your boundaries are then it can be easy for others to cross them without even knowing it!
Our boundaries are what tell us when we’ve had enough of something or when someone is being too pushy.
When we don’t know our boundaries, it’s easy for others to push past them without even realizing it. If you don’t know where your boundaries are, then learn to set them!
Boundaries are important for everyone. It’s up to us to understand and respect them.
Don’t be afraid of what others think about you because you can choose not to listen or not to follow through on things that you don’t want to do.
22) Speak to someone you trust
You can’t take on everything by yourself. Often, it leaves you more frustrated and isolated than before.
Instead, seek support. Confide in a trusted friend and tell them all about this person who hates you.
You will be in a secure space and it will give you the platform you need to vent, air your grievances and, they’ll offer you some sage advice.
If the problem is with a coworker, why not approach a mentor or coworker and ask them how they would deal with the issue.
Sometimes, just having someone acknowledge what we’re going through can be helpful.
You might get a fresh perspective on how you need to deal with this hater.
23) Focus on yourself
The bottom line is that you only have control over yourself and your actions.
Instead of fixating on how much someone dislikes you or how bad they make you feel about yourself, focus on your strategy for handling them.
This is a process and it will take some time. You will grow as a person and learn to be more self-confident.
Otherwise, you’ll end up stuck in a negative cycle of thinking and behavior that is difficult to break free from.
24) Rest up!
Dealing with haters can be exhausting and stressful!
When you’re dealing with stress, it’s important to get enough rest.
This can help you reset your mind and body and give you the energy you need to deal with these issues in the best possible way.
It’s also important that you are well-rested if you are going to be able to think clearly about how to deal with your situation.
When we’re tired and sleep-deprived, we can’t think clearly about anything and are naturally more frazzled and short-fuzed.
On the other hand, when we are well-rested, we can make better decisions.
25) Remember that things change
People change.
They grow up and they become different people than they were when you first met them.
They may have changed for a reason or they may have changed because they just aren’t the person that you thought they were.
You need to accept that and move on with your life as best you can.
Conclusion
This list is not exhaustive and there are many other things you can do to deal with people who dislike you.
These are just a few of the most important things that I have learned along the way.
The key takeaway?
Be polite and kind to everyone!
You never know what someone else is going through in their life and how much something small that you do for them can make their day!
