Nothing is better than the honeymoon phase in a relationship when you simply can’t get enough of each other.
But it’s all the more gut-wrenching when your partner suddenly says he needs time to think about the relationship.
What does it mean and why is he saying that? Let’s get to the bottom of it:
1) He’s not ready for a commitment yet
If your guy says he needs time to think, it could be that he isn’t yet ready to commit to you.
While he may have strong feelings for you, he may have doubts about your compatibility that are preventing him from taking the next step.
It’s also possible that he wants to be certain that he’s making the right decision so that he doesn’t have any regrets.
This can mean that he’s uncertain about your relationship, but it could also mean that he’s simply not ready to commit yet.
You see, some guys are 100% sure about you and about the fact that the relationship is right, they are simply terrified of commitment.
Fear of commitment is more common than you’d think, and it’s important to know that it is a completely normal fear.
Try to determine whether his reasons for needing time to think are because he isn’t ready for a commitment or if there are other factors involved.
He may be worried about your future together or about your compatibility further down the line.
Either way, if he is scared of commitment and tells you that outright, I would think long and hard about whether this is the right guy for you.
If you’re ready for a relationship, but he’s not, you could be wasting valuable time.
You see, if your guy says he needs time to think about the relationship, it could be that he just isn’t ready to make a commitment.
But it could also be that he’s not ready to commit to you specifically.
If he is just getting to know you, he may still be nervous about the possibility of a future with you.
He may worry about whether or not you are the right one for him, and he may have some lingering doubts about your compatibility.
On the other hand, if he has been dating you for a while, it could be that his feelings for you have grown stronger than he anticipated and now he’s worried about losing you.
Either way, if your guy says that he needs time to think about the relationship, consider why he might be saying this and whether or not this is normal behavior for him.
All in all, if he is scared of commitment, I would consider ending the relationship, because it’s not worth wasting a lot of time and feelings for someone who is scared of committing to you.
2) He doesn’t know how he feels about you
Sometimes, your partner may say that he needs time to think about the relationship because he doesn’t know how he feels about you.
Maybe he is not conscious of how he feels about you; maybe he is confused about what exactly is going on between the two of you, or maybe he is weighing the pros and cons of being with you further.
Whatever may be the reason, he may feel that he needs some time in order to figure out how he feels about you.
This could be a good sign because it means that he might be trying to be thoughtful and considerate.
You see, some guys would just lead you on, never telling you about their doubts until one day, they disappear.
Not so great, right?
So if he is honest with you about his feelings, it could be a good sign.
But as I said, it could also mean that he’s not sure what to think of you and the relationship with you.
In that case, things can get really tricky.
Sure, he might decide to stay with you, but let’s be honest here, do you want to be with a guy who isn’t 110% convinced that he wants to be with you?
I don’t think so.
You see, obstacles come soon enough in any relationship, but if he isn’t sure about you already in the earlier stages, that will be a problem further down the line, as every single obstacle will just strengthen that part of him that has doubts.
And then we all know what happens – he leaves anyways.
Think about it: you deserve a guy who is completely sure of the fact that you are the woman of his dreams and that he can’t live without you.
That’s why, if he says he needs time to think about the relationship, consider whether or not this is normal behavior for him and whether or not it’s worth waiting for him to decide.
Otherwise, it might just be a matter of time before he disappears on you anyways.
3) He’s just not that into you
This is a hard truth to swallow, but if your partner suddenly says he needs time to think about the relationship, it could be that he’s just not that into you.
If he’s been giving you mixed or negative signals, or if you’ve been misinterpreting his actions, his words may come as a shock.
However, this usually only happens if the relationship is very fresh, not after months or even years of dating.
When this happens and he tells you, then I have no other advice than to get out of that relationship as quickly as you can.
You see, the guy you are with should love you the way you are and be as into you as anyone can be.
If he openly tells you that he’s not and that he needs time to think about the relationship, it’s not worth it.
Let me tell you something, if you stay, you will be riddled with self-doubt and low confidence for as long as you’re with him, believe me.
Nothing hurts an ego more than being with a partner who doesn’t love you and isn’t sure about the relationship.
It’s best to leave that relationship now before it becomes a total train wreck for you.
If he doesn’t love you, he won’t be able to make things work with you, no matter how much time he takes.
The last thing I have to say is: don’t take too much time with this decision.
You deserve someone who is sure about you and who will do anything to be with you.
4) He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend right now
If your partner says that he needs time to think about the relationship, it’s possible that he wants to have a relationship with you, but at the moment, he doesn’t feel prepared to be your boyfriend.
He may feel that he wants more from you than you’re ready to give.
He might be unsure of what to do next, or he may not be ready for the level of commitment that a serious relationship requires.
You see, sometimes, guys really like you but they just aren’t ready to be a boyfriend.
They still want their freedom and they’re not ready to give up other girls or parties for you.
Of course, there are other reasons why he might not want to be your boyfriend.
He might have his eye on someone else or he might totally have commitment phobia.
Whatever the reason may be, if he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend right now, it’s best to take a step back and give him some space.
If he’s not ready for a relationship yet, then you should ask yourself if this is the right guy for you.
You see, if a guy doesn’t want to give up other girls for you, in my opinion, that’s not boyfriend material in the first place.
A real man who loves you deeply won’t even feel the need to glance at other women, let alone want to be with them.
Your well-being will be his number one priority and he will be happy to provide safety for you.
He will make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world for him.
5) You’re moving too fast and he needs breathing room
If your guy says that he needs time to think about the relationship, he may simply need more time to adjust to your relationship.
Perhaps you’re moving too quickly for him and he needs more space and breathing room in the relationship.
Especially at the beginning of a relationship, one partner tends to move faster than the other.
If that partner moves way too fast, it can become overwhelming for the other person.
This was something I hadn’t realized for myself until I took part in Rudá Iandê’s free Love and Intimacy Masterclass.
A world renowned shaman dedicated to helping others on their own self-discovery journeys, he clearly defines the two roles which tend to arise in most relationships; the more attached, and the more avoidant.
And you guessed it (or as I realized it), I was definitely pushing my partner away by wanting too much too soon, and self-sabotaging when the attention I sought after didn’t happen.
These roles can of course swap or change throughout a long-term relationship, but being able to stop and pinpoint if you’re currently the more codependent partner will be a game changer in saving your relationship.
Click here to access the free masterclass for yourself.
You see, one question that Rudá can help you can ask yourself is have you been pressuring him into the relationship in any way, or have you been rushing things?
In that case, it can be understood that a guy needs some breathing room for a few days or a week.
He might simply be overwhelmed by it all and need to get his mind together.
If you feel that you’re moving too fast, consider stepping back for a while and giving him time to think about things (if he hasn’t stepped back already).
In that time, think about whether you want this relationship too. Just because he has stepped away doesn’t mean you should fight harder to get him back.
If anything, this is your chance to reflect on whether this relationship is right for you both.
And if you do rekindle, it should be because you both have decided this relationship is what you want to pursue.
Not just because you’re feeling a little lonely in his absence…
6) He doesn’t know what he wants
If your partner suddenly says that he needs time to think, he may be completely aware of what he wants, but he may be confused about what he wants.
He may not be certain, and he may need more time to make a decision.
Some guys simply don’t know if they want to be single or in a relationship, or if they want to be with you or not.
Indecisive boys like that are a struggle to be around. After all, they are unsure of what they want and are taking it out on you by making you wait for their decision.
Honestly, make it an easy choice for him and tell him that if he’s not sure about what he wants, then at least you’re sure about what you want: to not be with him.
You see, there is nothing worse than someone thinking long and hard about whether he wants to be with you. He either does or he doesn’t.
If a guy doesn’t know, it’s a no.
7) He is under a lot of stress
If your partner suddenly says that he needs time to think about the relationship, it may be that he is under a lot of stress, whether it be at work or at school.
He may need time to himself in order to deal with his stress and then return to the relationship.
While to some extent this is totally understandable, he should mention that the time apart is due to the stress and not because he needs to think about the relationship.
So, if he said it’s because of the stress, then maybe you have nothing to worry about, after all!
You see, during stressful times, a relationship can add some extra responsibility and burden on someone, so maybe he needs to focus on a project or an exam right now.
In that case, you know exactly what’s going on and how to deal with this.
8) He is scared of his feelings for you
Your partner may say that he needs time to think about the relationship because he is scared of his feelings for you.
If he is head-over-heels for you but knows that he shouldn’t be, this could be his attempt at keeping you at arm’s length.
You see, some guys fall very deeply in love, very early on in the relationship.
This can be scary, especially when they don’t know if you reciprocate their feelings.
In those cases, it’s not uncommon for a guy to take a step back and think about his feelings in order to figure out what he wants.
If that’s the case, trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Talk to him about his feelings and soon you will know that he is just too in love with you and is scared of the intensity of his feelings.
9) He feels trapped
Your partner may say that he needs time to think about the relationship because he feels trapped or pressured.
Perhaps you’ve been pressuring him to take things to the next level or to make a decision prematurely.
This can make any man feel trapped and put him under a lot of pressure.
If you’ve been applying pressure to your relationship, he may feel that he needs time to think in order to find a way out.
Do you feel like you have done something like that, or is he simply not mature enough to take responsibility and commit?
There is a big difference between the two. If it’s the first, you can talk to him about it and tell him you’re sorry for pressuring him like that.
If it’s the latter, then it might be best to move on and find someone who doesn’t see a relationship with you as a trap.
10) It’s a phase
Sometimes, a situation like this can also simply just be a phase in a relationship.
He says that he needs time to think about the relationship, but that it’s not a big deal and that it’s just a phase.
He asks you to trust him and that it will be okay.
He probably means what he says, but you still have every right to be worried about your relationship.
If your partner is ready to end things with you, he would probably say it outright, but if he tells you that it’s just a phase and that he needs some time, it might just be that.
You can ask him why he feels the need to “think” about the relationship and if there’s anything specific that might be causing him to feel this way.
This will help clear up any misunderstandings and reassure him that you want to work on the relationship together.
However, if you can’t talk about it properly together, then maybe it’s also not the right fit.
You see, in a relationship, you shouldn’t ever feel unwanted and doubt your own worth, so if he makes you feel that way, then it’s time to leave.
11) He doesn’t want to be with you because he has other priorities right now
Sometimes, a guy might not want to be with you because he has other priorities that are more important than you right now.
You see, when a guy is really interested in you, he will make time for you.
He will do his best to accommodate your wishes and he’ll be happy to give up other things for you.
But if he doesn’t want to be with you right now, it’s possible that he doesn’t feel that strong of a connection to you yet.
This means that he might not think of you as girlfriend material yet and it’s possible that he has other things on his mind right now.
Maybe he’s focusing on school or work, or maybe he’s just not ready for a relationship at the moment.
Another reason why a guy might not want to be with you is that his priorities lie with his family or friends right now.
You see, it’s totally fine for a guy to have multiple priorities and to also care about his family or friends, school, or work.
However, when he needs time apart from you to think and have his priorities elsewhere, he might not be ready for a relationship, after all.
Turns out a man who truly wants to be with you will move mountains for you and get all his priorities straight.
12) There’s someone else in the picture
If your partner suddenly says he needs time to think about the relationship, it could be that he’s having feelings for someone else.
Perhaps he’s met someone new and is interested in pursuing a relationship with them.
While he’s not ready to end your relationship, he may need time to figure out his feelings toward both of you.
This may be difficult and hurtful, but try not to jump to conclusions: you don’t know what is going on in his head and his feelings may change over time.
If you suspect this might be the case, my biggest tip here is to openly talk to him about it.
While he might not want to talk, the only way you can productively have a conversation about this is if you also manage to stay calm, even though this is obviously taking a huge toll on you emotionally.
But when you are calm he will be more likely to open up and be honest to you.
You see, in long-term relationships, crushes can happen, that is relatively normal.
Usually, crushes disappear, however, and loyal partners stay with their partners through it all.
If he’s at the point where he needs time to think about the relationship, it’s likely he is feeling something for someone else.
It might be that he’s not even sure how he feels about both of you.
Give him the time he needs to figure out how he feels, but don’t let him take too much time, as it might just be a matter of time before he walks out on you anyways.
You see, when that’s the case, it’s more than a crush and he is actually falling for this other person.
As crushing as that is, remember that it’s better to find out now than after the fact.
If he truly is falling for someone else and you’re talking about it with him, it’s probably best to leave the relationship and move on with your life.
It’s never easy, but it’s better to find out now than after years of being together and trying to work it out.
If you’re still in love, you will find someone else who will be the right person for you.
The best way to deal with this is to talk about it openly and honestly.
What now?
There are lots of reasons why a guy might say he needs time to think about a relationship.
But there are also lots of ways to deal with it and keep the relationship strong.
These signs can help you figure out what’s going on and how to react.
It’s important to remember not to take things personally, and to focus on making sure your relationship is healthy and positive.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to get into a routine where you do the same old things every week.
You can also start to feel like you’re just not getting enough time with each other, and that can make each day feel long and drawn out.
There are several ways you can shake things up and make your relationship feel new again.
However, it might be time to leave if a guy disrespects you or makes you feel like you are less than.
By now you should have a good idea of why a guy needs time to think.
So what can you do to resolve this?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.
