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This is why every man regrets losing the one woman who waited for him to get his sh*t together

I think all of us have seen those romantic movies where a woman stays faithful and loyally waits for her boyfriend to figure out what he wants in life.

He may be on a heroic journey to save the planet, or it may be something as simple as getting his career in order.

Whatever it is, we’ve seen it time and time again.

The man doesn’t know what he wants.

He’s busy focusing on other things rather than his girlfriend.

He conquers his challenge.

Then he realizes he loves her, finally chooses her, and they live happily ever after.

Sound familiar?

When a man loses the woman he loves

The problem is that this isn’t how real life works. We don’t live in a romantic comedy. In this day and age, when a woman is done, oh boy – she is done!

Take it from me. I used to be someone who gave men way too many chances. I’m a strong believer in giving people time to figure out what they want to become in life. I want to be with my man as he explores and finds his potential.

But this is the number one reason why women end up staying in a terrible relationship where men don’t treat them as they deserve to be treated.

Enough is enough. It’s time for women to be done with these relationships.

When a woman finally realizes that she doesn’t need you in her life, sucking her energy and wasting her time, her window is closed for you. There’s no turning back. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve transformed yourself, your career, or your lifestyle.

You can’t win her back.

You will probably try to justify what you’ve done, saying something like: “If she doesn’t understand why it’s so important for me to pursue my dreams, she’s not worth it.”

The brutal truth is that no-one is obligated to stick around and put up with your bullshit. No-one deserves to live a life filled with stress and emotional pain. You can’t keep someone waiting while you figure out what you really want from life.

Men, I have a message for you:

Rejecting you when you’re like this is the most powerful step we can take in moving forward in life. It doesn’t matter if I’m hurting your feelings. Remember – it’s your actions that have resulted in this moment.

You will one day understand the folly of your decision to focus on yourself during this time in your life. The woman who loves you the most before you’ve found yourself and made it in life is the one who would have stood by your side through everything.

You will regret losing this woman because the other women who will love you when you’re at your best may easily say goodbye to you when they see you at your low points in life. She can easily move on when she sees that you’re not as perfect as she once thought you were.

In these moments you will one day see that you had the kind of woman who accepted you deep down, including your dark side. A woman who would have endured the most violent of storms to be by your side. A woman who loved you deeply, but you let her go.

The kind of girl guys regret losing

If you’re reading this, you may be one of the girls who some guy has decided to move on from.

You’re probably wondering about the kind of girl guys regret losing.

Here’s the brutal truth:

Men will end up regretting losing the girls who have moved on from the relationship.

This is why the advice shared above is so important. You must become the kind of person who puts your own needs first.

You need to be the person who moves on from the relationship.

You can’t do this in order to trick him into thinking you have moved on. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.

You have to actually move on. To the point where you don’t want him back.

When you put your own needs first, something magic starts to happen. Your whole aura changes.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He has a free masterclass where he breaks it down perfectly. Go ahead and check it out, you’ll thank me later.

When a man realizes he lost a good woman

When he realized he lost someone who loved her with everything she’s got, he’s not going to admit his guilt and regret right away.

In fact, he’ll end up doing everything to shut off these emotions.

In general, men aren’t as expressive as women are. Because of this, they may seem heartless and cold.

They might even seem like it’s a loss that they don’t regret.

However, it’s going to hit him hard once he realizes that he can never find the same woman twice.

The thing is, he will finally realize he lost a good woman when he experiences the brutal reality that you really have moved on.

When a man realizes he lost you, all his actions and mistakes will replay in his head and he’ll wish that he took care of you while you were still in his life.

It’s at this moment he’ll wish that he didn’t take your love and selfless actions for granted.

When do guys realize what they lost

Guys realize what they lost when they finally slow down and learn some humility.

Every man is on a hero’s journey at some point in their life. They think their goals are what really matters.

But at some point, sooner or later, a man will learn that the purpose of his goals is to contribute back to society. He’ll learn that relationships are what matters in life, and it’s not about taking from those relationships.

Justin Brown wrote a great article about the reasons for living. Go and check out the part where he writes about purpose. He learned that his purpose wasn’t about him, but about other people in his life.

Most men will go through this realization. They will learn about their vulnerability. They’ll wish they had a nurturing and loving presence in their life.

At this point, he’s going to realize what he lost. He’ll see that you’ve moved on with your life. He’ll see that you’ve found a man with more emotional maturity than he had at that time.

And that’s okay. He’ll be better off for experiencing the pain of losing you.

How to know if he regrets losing you

Let’s be realistic about this.

You have to move on to the point that you don’t care whether he regrets losing you or not.

But that’s super hard.

The reality is you’re going to be wondering if he regrets losing you.

What you need to do is first move on with your life. You have to be out meeting new people, doing things with your life.

You need to be active, having fun.

This creates a really positive aura around you.

Once you have been doing this for a period of time where it’s normal for you, then you can start wondering if he regrets losing you.

At this point, see if you can cross paths with him. Or inquire through mutual friends. Take a look at what’s happening in his social media if he’s active there.

You could even reach out with a simple message. If he jumps at the chance to be in touch, then it’s possible he regrets losing you.

Just make sure you have really changed your behavior and stopped accepting his bullshit by this stage. You can’t go back into the old habits of letting him make the relationship all about him.

Again, make sure you watch the free masterclass on love and intimacy. It will show you exactly how to do this.

How long it takes for a guy to realize what he lost

This is the ultimate question. How long will it take for a guy to realize what he lost?

The key is that the guy goes through enough life lessons that life isn’t all about him. He need to develop the emotional maturity to be able to do things for others.

Many guys will get to this point. But many will not.

You can’t control his journey in life. But you can control the standards you have.

You must have the self-respect to only get back into a relationship with him if he has arrived at the level of maturity where the relationship isn’t just about him.

If you don’t have that kind of self-respect in place, then he’s always going to be selfish in the relationship — if the relationship even comes back in the first place.

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Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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