I think we’ve all seen those romantic movies where a woman stays faithful and loyally waits for her boyfriend to figure out what he wants from life.
He may be on a heroic journey to save the planet, or it may be something as simple as getting his career in order.
It looks nice in the movies. But in reality, it’s often not such a great experience for the girlfriend.
The problem is that while the man focuses on himself, he’s neglecting the woman he’s with.
And because he’s so self-obsessed, he realizes too late that he’s lost her.
I know this because I’ve lost the woman I love from being completely self-absorbed. The reason I know this is because she moved on and never looked back.
And I hope you do the same thing.
The kind of girl guys regret losing
So let’s get this out of the way first. Because it’s the most important piece of advice I can share.
If you’re reading this, you are probably one of the girls some guy has decided to move on from.
And you’re probably wondering to yourself whether you’re the kind of girl a guy regrets losing.
Here’s the brutal truth:
Men end up regretting losing the girls who have moved on from the relationship.
This is why my advice to you is so important. You must become the kind of person who puts your own needs first.
You need to be the person who moves on from the relationship.
You can’t do this in order to trick him into thinking you have moved on. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.
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You have to actually move on. To the point where you don’t want him back.
I know this is incredibly difficult to do.
But if you don’t find a way to put yourself first, you’re going to create a dangerous pattern with this man.
You’re going to be showing him that his needs and wants in life are more important than yours.
He may come back to you. You may find a way to revive the relationship. It may go well for a while.
But in the long run, you will have created an unhealthy and unequal dynamic between the two of you.
Instead of going down this path, now is the time to prioritize yourself. Even though you’re probably experiencing pain right now, this moment presents itself as an incredible opportunity.
Once you become the kind of person who actually moves on and prioritizes yourself first, something special happens…
When a man realizes he lost a good woman
When you learn to prioritize your wants and needs in life, the man in your life is more likely to realize that he lost a good woman.
It may not happen immediately. He may not be the kind of guy to admit he’s made a mistake.
In fact, he may do his best to shut off these emotions.
In general, men aren’t as expressive as women are. Because of this, they may seem heartless and cold.
They might even seem like it’s a loss that they don’t regret.
However, it’s going to hit him hard once he realizes that he can never find the same woman twice.
The thing is, he will finally realize he lost a good woman when he experiences the brutal reality that you really have moved on.
When a man realizes he lost you, all his actions and mistakes will replay in his head and he’ll wish that he took care of you while you were still in his life.
It’s at this moment he’ll wish that he didn’t take your love and selfless actions for granted.
Which brings me to my next point…
When a man loses the woman he loves
Something quite startling happens when a man realizes that you are the kind of woman who prioritizes herself first.
He experiences the reality that his ambitions aren’t the things that matter. He understands that he’s losing something that may be even more important than the things he’s been chasing.
He realizes that he’s lost the woman he loves.
This isn’t about having your own ambitions in the same way as him. Your goals in life will be unique to you. You may have your own big goals or you may desire a simple life.
What matters is that you have figured out what matters to you… You have learned to live for yourself, charting a pathway forward in life based on your underlying values, hopes and dreams.
Do you want to know how I know the man in your life will realize that he’s lost the woman he loves?
Because when you start to live for yourself, you will know how to truly love yourself.
And there’s a secret I learned from a shaman in Brazil that changed my relationships forever.
The secret is that the relationships we have in life are a direct mirror of the relationship we have with ourselves.
When you start to truly love and respect yourself, the relationships you have in life will follow in a similar way.
You have the power to create a powerful shift in the dynamics of your relationships.
The shaman I learned this from is named Rudá Iandê. He’s teaching these lessons in his free masterclass on love and intimacy.
It goes for 1 hour and 45 mins, so it’s a very deep dive. I would only register for this if you truly want to create a new dynamic in your relationships.
The way I see it is that you have two choices:
- You can focus on the man you’ve lost and try and get him back… But won’t really be changing the deeper dynamics in the relationship…
- Or you can commit to yourself and embrace the fear of the unknown… You can register for this masterclass and start to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself.
When do guys realize what they lost
Let’s go a little bit deeper and answer the question:
When do guys realize what they lost?
Guys realize what they lost when they finally slow down and learn some humility.
Every man is on a hero’s journey at some point in their life. They think their goals are what really matters.
But at some point, sooner or later, a man will learn that the purpose of his goals is to contribute back to society. He’ll learn that relationships are what matters in life, and it’s not about taking from those relationships.
I wrote about this in my article about finding your true reasons for living. Go and check out the part where I write about purpose. I learned that my purpose wasn’t about me, but about other people in my life.
Most men will go through this realization. They will learn about their vulnerability. They’ll wish they had a nurturing and loving presence in their life.
At this point, he’s going to realize what he lost. He’ll see that you’ve moved on with your life. He’ll see that you’ve found a man with more emotional maturity than he had at that time.
That’s okay. He’ll be better off for experiencing the pain of losing you.
And you’ll be better off for having put yourself first in life.
How to know if he regrets losing you
Let’s be realistic about this.
You have to move on to the point that you don’t care whether he regrets losing you or not.
But that’s super hard.
The reality is you’re going to be wondering if he regrets losing you.
What you need to do is first move on with your life. You have to be out meeting new people, doing things with your life.
You need to be active, having fun.
This creates a really positive aura around you.
Once you have been doing this for a period of time where it’s normal for you, then you can start wondering if he regrets losing you.
At this point, see if you can cross paths with him. Or inquire through mutual friends. Take a look at what’s happening in his social media if he’s active there.
You could even reach out with a simple message. If he jumps at the chance to be in touch, then it’s possible he regrets losing you.
Just make sure you have really changed your behavior and stopped accepting his bullshit by this stage. You can’t go back into the old habits of letting him make the relationship all about him.
Again, make sure you watch the free masterclass on love and intimacy. It will show you exactly how to do this.
How long it takes for a guy to realize what he lost
This is the ultimate question. How long will it take for a guy to realize what he lost?
The key is that the guy goes through enough life lessons that life isn’t all about him. He needs to develop the emotional maturity to be able to do things for others.
Many guys will get to this point. But many will not.
You can’t control his journey in life. But you can control the standards you have.
You must have the self-respect to only get back into a relationship with him if he has arrived at the level of maturity where the relationship isn’t just about him.
If you don’t have that kind of self-respect in place, then he’s always going to be selfish in the relationship — if the relationship even comes back in the first place.
I know I’ve mentioned it a few times, but it’s that powerful… Register for the masterclass on love and intimacy right away. It’s going to be life-changing.