Did you meet someone who seems perfect?
You just met but the attraction is tangible.
You aren’t sure if he likes you back and you find him a bit hard to read?
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. It’s hard to understand how someone feels.
But I have some clear signs to look out for to understand if he likes you or not. Let’s jump right in.
1) He can’t stop laughing around you
If he can’t stop laughing when he’s around you, this is definitely a sign that he likes you.
Evolutionary psychologist Norman Li says that a key interest indicator is when someone laughs at your jokes.
It’s not necessarily because you’re funny (though this will help).
The reason laughing at your jokes is an indicator of interest is because not laughing at someone’s jokes is an indicator that we’re not interested in them.
If he’s laughing at your jokes, he’s probably interested in you.
But if he’s laughing at your jokes when you’re not even that funny, he’s definitely interested in you!
2) He can’t stop smiling when he’s around you
If you find that he is smiling around you, this is a big sign that he likes you!
Men smile when they like someone. They also smile when they’re nervous.
If he likes you, he won’t be able to stop smiling when he’s around you.
Being close to you is going to give him a dopamine hit. It will give him a rush.
He may be shy and nervous to approach you. But he’ll be smiling and looking for an opportunity to get to know you and strike up a conversation.
Whether he approaches you or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s smiling. This is a definite sign that he likes you.
Believe it or not, guys can be shy too.
3) You feel confident around him
If you feel confident and yourself around him, it’s a good sign that he likes you.
It means that you are able to make one another feel your best. You are picking up on the subtle cues that you are sending to one another.
But that raises the question:
Why can attraction so often start out great, only to become a confusing nightmare?
And what’s the solution to feeling your best around him?
The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.
I learned about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love and become truly empowered.
As Rudá explains in this mind blowing video, love is not what many of us think it is.
Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to feeling confident when I meet and date new people.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
4) He’s wondering what’s going on with you
When a guy likes you, he’s going to be curious about what’s happening in your life. He will engage with you and ask lots of questions.
He probably won’t just come straight out and ask about your relationship status.
He may beat around the bush for a while and make statements like “you can’t be single?!” and pretend like he is surprised when you say things that could lead him to believe such things.
He might also say, “your boyfriend is a lucky guy” to find out what’s happening in your love life.
The key point is this:
He may be interested in you if he’s wondering what’s going on with you. So ask yourself this: is the man you’re interested in curious about what’s happening in your life?
5) He feels like a hero around you
When a guy likes you, it’s often because you have triggered something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs to eventually love a woman.
What is it?
To fall in love, a guy needs to feel like he’s earned your respect. He’s stepped up for you and provides you with certain things no other man can.
In other words, he needs to feel like your everyday hero.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
Although you may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want him to fall in love with you, then you have to let him.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, and requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.
6) He accidentally keeps touching your arm or bumping into you
There’s no mistaking it, if a man is finding a way to make contact with you, it’s a sign that he likes you.
Human beings love the physical touch of someone they’re interested in.
In fact, psychologists even say that physical touch is essential for your sense of well-being.
Psychologist Aaron Ben-Zeév suggests that even the briefest touch from someone you’re interested in elicits a strong emotional experience.
We even touch people subconsciously. This means we may seek the touch of someone we like without even realizing that’s what we’re trying to do.
Ask yourself this:
At a party or bar, or just in a crowded room, does he keep touching your arm or bumping into you and making excuses about how full the room is?
Pay attention, he’s totally doing it on purpose. You might even find yourself accidentally bumping into him too.
7) His body says it all
It can be difficult to figure out if a guy likes you. That’s why you have to get used to learning body language and subconscious cues that show a guy likes you.
Body language doesn’t lie. A guy’s body language reveals how he really feels.
Learning to read body language is a valuable skill in life and it’s worth exploring in depth.
Here are some key body language signs that he likes you when he’s around you:
- He licks his lips
- He leans in when he talks to you
- He stands close to you when possible
- He touches your hand
- He dances close to you
- He does the “eyebrow flash” (if you see something you like, your eyebrows quickly flash up)
- He keeps his feet angled toward you
- His voice changes
- He stands broad and tall
- His lips part
- He faces you
- He blushes
8) He remembers everything you tell him
When you’re interested in someone, you remember everything they say. Sometimes you even remember it word for word. It’s the same when a guy is really interested in you.
He may be good at hiding the signs. But if he remembers what you’ve told him — even small details — he’s probably interested.
Even if you only ever see each other in passing, he’ll recall something you said, bring it up, and make a point of letting you know he’s been thinking of you.
That’s a great sign he is interested in what’s going on between the two of you.
9) He slips up and gets flustered when he talks to you
If a man seems nervous and flustered when he’s around you, it’s a great sign that he likes you.
Even the coolest guys get tongue-tied around girls they like. So the chances are they’re going to slip up and get flustered if he likes you.
So if the guy you are eyeing keeps making stupid jokes or saying all the wrong things, it could be that he’s not a knucklehead, but just really into you.
Go easy on the poor guy.
I know I’ve slipped up many times around girls I like!
10) He is always fidgeting and inching his way toward you
He can’t sit still but it’s not because he’s got a twitch, it’s because he has a lot of restless energy around you and likes you.
It’s a good thing if you make him nervous.
Remember that it’s harder than ever for guys to approach girls, especially very strong women that are rocking confidence and power.
More than ever women are gaining the upper hand in society and that can be off-putting to even the most confident guy.
It’s not sexy, but it’s probably a good sign he likes you.
11) He’s clearly trying to get your attention
If the man you’re interested in is trying to get your attention, he probably likes you.
He wants you to think he’s smart and successful.
For a long time, that’s all women wanted in a guy: someone to provide for them.
But these days, he’ll have to go out on a limb to talk about the good deeds he has done, the people he has helped, and the changes he has made in people’s lives.
Watch for him going on and on about how he saved a stray puppy and you’ll know he’s digging you.
12) He picks on you, but in a fun way
If a man acts like he’s teasing you, it’s a sign he’s into you.
Okay, I’m going to reveal a dirty little secret from my past. I used to be a pick-up artist (PUA).
There’s a community of PUAs that teach each other how to meet girls and convince them to like them.
We learned many different tactics. One of these is called “negging”.
A “neg” is when you give a girl you like a back-handed compliment. It’s designed to make her feel good and slightly insecure at the same time.
Many men have learned these tactics. Other men do these tactics naturally.
If the man you like starts teasing you about your meal or shoes, he may not actually be a moron.
It could be that he’s teasing you because he likes you. Just know that he doesn’t actually mean to hurt your feelings.
He likes you, it’s just coming out all wrong.
13) He feels like he’s earned your respect
Men have a built-in desire for something that goes beyond love or sex, and if he’s interested in you, he’ll make this clear.
Simply put, men have a biological drive to step up for women and earn their respect in return.
Respect is an important sign he likes you now and is crucial for triggering feelings of “love” down the track.
So if he’s spending more time getting to know you, he’s more invested in you and certainly likes you.
14) He offers you genuine compliments
I recently watched an amazing (and free) masterclass on love and intimacy with the shaman Rudá Iandê that I mentioned above.
Rudá Iandê breaks down the key elements of healthy and nurturing relationships.
He says the best relationships are when two partners grow and evolve together in the relationship.
I don’t know about you, but these are the kinds of relationships I want.
So I do my best to give the woman I like genuine compliments.
If I like what she’s doing in life, I’ll tell her. If I like how she treats people around her, I tell her.
Keep in mind that some men are growing up and acting in mature ways.
They may be the kind of men who have attended Rudá Iandê’s masterclasses. It really opened my eyes in a lot of ways and I recommend everyone to give it a look.
15) You get that special feeling
You know the one I mean. You should be catching up on work but you’re daydreaming about the next time you see him.
You’re trying to put into words that special feeling you get when he’s around …
But it’s just not possible to put into words.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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You feel something when you’re cuddled up with him, or looking in his eyes, or listening to his voice that you just don’t feel with any other guy.
Call it butterflies or having a crush or whatever you want.
It’s a special feeling that comes when he’s around.
16) It’s in his eyes
Take special care to watch his eyes when he talks to you. They can let you know how he feels.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul and if that’s too New Age for you then think of it scientifically.
Our eyes respond to what’s around us in physical and instinctive ways.
The first and most obvious is that if we like something or want it … we look at it.
When we see something we desire our pupils often dilate and get bigger, so take a closer look. Are his eyes looking right at you and are the pupils getting bigger?
This is a good sign that he’s into you.
17) It’s in his look
Is he making steady eye contact and engaging with what you’re saying? Look at how he looks at the world and what gets his attention.
Does he look at you only briefly before glancing back down at his phone?
Not a good sign.
On the other hand, if he’s holding steady eye contact with you and his phone is not his object of affection there’s a good chance that he’s interested or at least on the way to becoming interested.
Our expressions say a lot about our inner state and emotions.
This is especially true of spontaneous expressions that happen right after you say or do something. Are his eyebrows moving a lot and is the smiling frequently?
Does he look happy to hear your voice or kind of bored?
Does he look even happier when you react positively to a joke he tells or comments he makes?
These are good signs that he likes you more than a little.
Signs he’s pretending not to like you (but really does)
Okay, it’s really important to go a little deeper and be aware of the signs that he’s pretending not to like you but really does.
1) He starts talking to you then pretends it was just a joke
He’s probably insecure. When a guy isn’t sure what to say or doesn’t feel confident he can get a lot of anxiety over approaching a woman or what to say to her.
He may start talking to you and then joke or pretend it was a dare from his friends.
He might even say hi or ask how you are and then awkwardly make an excuse and say he has to go when you answer.
It’s because he feels worried about how the interaction will go and wants to feel “safe” again by ending his time with you.
But deep down he is probably into you.
2) He acts casual and aloof but he sometimes slips up
Often guys will act casual and aloof – even when they really like a girl.
They do this to try not to get hurt by rejection. It’s a classic sign that he likes you but is hiding it if he acts casual and aloof but sometimes shows signs that you mean a lot more to him than a short-term fling.
These can include:
- Sudden sweet compliments on your appearance or personality
- Asking you out for a romantic date that seems pre-planned
- Noticing him cruising your social media and liking a lot of posts
- Answering texts and calls right away
- Sounding very eager when he talks with you but then noticeably “toning it down” as he attempts to find more easygoing and disinterested
The truth is that when a guy is really interested it is hard for him to hide it completely.
He can be really good at masking his attraction.
But if you look hard you’ll see signs.
3) He seems sad or resigned around you
Sometimes a guy will pretend not to like you for a very sad reason.
He doesn’t believe you like him. Or that you could ever like him.
He doesn’t think he has a chance.
And he’s convinced that he’s not good enough.
For whatever reason of past experience or low self-esteem, he’s developed a resigned attitude about love and finding love. When he looks at you you can sense his attraction and desire.
But when it comes time to make a move or invite you on a date he’s a cold fish.
This guy will take time to open up and trust you and really see you like him.
But if he’s acting sad and resigned it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you.
4) He’s over-cautious around you
If a guy is being over-cautious around you it can be because he’s trying to hide that he likes you.
This could be for various reasons and one of the big ones is that he may believe you already have someone and he doesn’t want to spend his time and energy on an uphill battle.
Keep in mind that some guys have been badly burnt.
And they’re just trying to keep away from the flame this time around.
If he’s acting over-cautious and avoiding flirting, eye contact, or deep conversations but he still seems to want to spend time with you it could be a good sign he’s been badly hurt and is trying to hide his attraction to you.
Don’t give up right away.
5) He’s curious about your dating history but never talks about his
This is a classic sign. If he’s asking who you’ve dated and perks up with big bunny ears when you talk about your ex-boyfriend but clams up when you ask about his romantic past there’s a good chance he’s into you but hiding it.
He’s just not ready to talk about his romantic experiences for some reason.
And it could take time to open him up.
If he wants to know all about who you’ve been kissing there’s a very high probability that he’s hoping to be the next guy on that list.
6) He just seems to … always be around but then acts like it’s no big deal
This is no mistake, trust me.
If he’s always checking up on how you’re doing and popping up where you are it’s a good sign he’s into you.
Sure, if you ask why he’s around so much he’ll downplay it.
But the truth is that he’s probably around you a lot because he likes you.
If he seems to always be around it’s a major sign that he’s into you but may just be too shy, insecure, or hesitant to have made his feelings clear yet.
7) He says you’re just friends but never talks about other women
If you’re really just a friend and he’s not hoping for anything more then why does he go quiet when you ask about the women in his life?
Even if a guy says you’re only friends and he acts very noncommittal around you, the fact of the matter is that he’d be happy to tell someone he’s not into about women he finds attractive or interesting.
But with you, he seems to only have eyes for you.
Even though you’re just a friend to him.
In reality, you may be more than just friends.
8) He jokes about dating you
If he jokes about you two being together a lot but then seems to shy away when you take it seriously there’s a good chance he’s using humor to mask his attraction.
Sometimes jokes can be a way to hide our insecurity.
But as they say, every joke also has a grain of truth.
And the big grain in this one is that he’s thinking of being together with you.
Even if he finds the humor or lighthearted side of it there’s no reason he would be quipping this kind of stuff unless you were on his mind in a romantic context …
9) His friends don’t hit on you
Obviously, any guy with decent friends shouldn’t let them flirt or be inappropriate with you, but if this guy likes you then you will notice his friends seem to have special respect or distance around you.
That’s likely because he told them to back off from the girl he likes.
Even if he acts like no big deal around you and plays it cool, take a look at his friends and those around him.
How do they treat you?
If they treat you like you’re a girl he really likes then there’s a good chance it’s because you’re a girl he really likes.
10) He plays hot and cold
A guy who is a player will often do just that with women … play with them.
But not in a good way.
A player has often learned negative things about women from pickup artists, online videos, and even their own attitudes that make them scared to be vulnerable or fall for someone.
They will intentionally take a long time to respond to texts …
Post photos with other girls …
Speak in vague ways whenever emotions or your dating comes up …
And go from being all over you to distant and hard to read.
Players think that liking a girl is a weakness. If he’s acting this way you need to demand consistency and break past his hard outer shell to find the real guy underneath.
Want to make this guy yours?
There are many telltale signs that show if a guy likes you. At the end of the day, however, if the time is right then the best strategy is just to ask.
The problem is that men and women see the world differently. And men are motivated by different things than you when it comes to relationships.
I know this because I’ve been an emotionally unavailable man my whole life. My video above reveals more about this.
And learning about the hero instinct has made it crystal clear why I’m like this.
It’s not often that a mirror gets held up to my lifetime of relationship failure. But that’s what happened when I discovered the hero instinct. I ended up learning more about myself than I bargained for.
I’m 39. I’m single. And yes, I’m still looking for love.
After watching James Bauer’s video and reading his book, I realize that I’ve always been emotionally unavailable because the hero instinct was never triggered in me.
My relationships with women involved everything from ‘best friends with benefits’ to being ‘partners in crime’.
In hindsight, I’ve always needed more. I needed to feel that I was providing something to my partner that no one else could.
Learning about the hero instinct was my “aha” moment.
To learn more about how the hero instinct can help you find love, watch this excellent video here.
What’s holding you back?
Now that you have a clear idea of the signs he sends that can let you know if he likes you or not, my question for you is simple: what’s holding you back?
From what I see, you have two options.
You can wait for him to make a move and let you know exactly how he feels.
Or you can make the first move and let him know that you are also into him.
Far too often, we wait for the other person to make the first move. But what’s so horrible about acting honestly and revealing your feelings?
Either it will develop or your paths will diverge.
Far too often, we are on shaky ground with own selves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth. We wait around in angst trying to figure out someone else and wait for them to be honest with us.
We all struggle to connect and feel understood. We want to feel safe and secure around someone. But all relationships involve risk.
If you are waiting for someone else to ease that risk, maybe it’s time to try something new.
Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself and feel at ease with your decisions.
We can’t control others or life, but we can connect more deeply with our inner essence and learn how to live and express ourselves from there.
A great lesson on this comes from Rudá’s video on love and intimacy which I talked about earlier in the article. He offers an easy, practical solution to getting to know yourself better.
And isn’t this the best relationship you can work on? Give it a try.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder