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Does he like me? 27 surprising signs he does like you!

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If you’ve been asking the question, “does he like me?”, then check out these 17 signs to see if he truly does like you…

… As well as 10 signs that he’s pretending not to like you, but he actually does.

Want to jump straight to the signs that he’s pretending not to like you? Signs he’s pretending not to like you (but really does).

Let’s begin.

1) He can’t stop laughing around you

If he can’t stop laughing when he’s around you, this is definitely a sign that he likes you.

Evolutionary psychologist Norman Li says that a key interest indicator is when someone laughs at your jokes.

It’s not necessarily because you’re funny (though this will help).

The reason laughing at your jokes is an indicator of interest is because not laughing at someone’s jokes is an indicator that we’re not interested in them.

If he’s laughing at your jokes, he’s probably interested in you.

But if he’s laughing at your jokes when you’re not even that funny, he’s definitely interested in you!

2) He can’t stop smiling when he’s around you

This is a big sign that he likes you!

Men smile when they like someone. They also smile when they’re nervous.

If he likes you, he won’t be able to stop smiling when he’s around you.

Being close to you is going to give him a dopamine hit. It will give him a rush.

He may be shy and nervous to approach you. But he’ll be smiling and looking for an opportunity to get to know you and strike up a conversation.

Whether he approaches you or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s smiling. This is a definite sign that he likes you.

Believe it or not, guys can be shy too.

DOES HE LIKE ME QUIZ: What would Sigmund Freud say? Answer a few simple questions about the subtle dynamics between you and the guy you like, and we’ll give you the answer. =>> Take the quiz here.

3) He’s wondering what’s going on with you

When a guy likes you, he’s going to be curious about what’s happening in your life.

He probably won’t just come straight out and ask about your relationship status.

He may beat around the bush for a while and make statements like “you can’t be single?!” and pretend like he is surprised when you say things that could lead him to believe such things.

He might also say, “your boyfriend is a lucky guy” to find out what’s happening in your love life.

The key point is this:

He may be interested in you if he’s wondering what’s going on with you. So ask yourself this: is the man you’re interested in curious about what’s happening in your life?

4) He accidentally keeps touching your arm or bumping into you

There’s no mistaking it.

Human beings love the physical touch of someone they’re interested in.

In fact, psychologists even say that physical touch is essential for your sense of well-being.

Psychologist Aaron Ben-Zeév suggests that even the briefest touch from someone you’re interested in elicits a strong emotional experience.

We even touch people subconsciously. This means we may seek the touch of someone we like without even realizing that’s what we’re trying to do.

Ask yourself this:

At a party or bar, or just in a crowded room, does he keep touching your arm or bumping into you and making excuses about how full the room is?

Pay attention, he’s totally doing it on purpose. You might even find yourself accidentally bumping into him too.

Oops.

DOES HE LIKE ME QUIZ: What would Sigmund Freud say? Answer a few simple questions about the subtle dynamics between you and the guy you like, and we’ll give you the answer. =>> Take the quiz here.

5) His body says it all

It can be difficult to figure out if a guy likes you.

It takes a rare kind of man with the courage to come out and say it.

That’s why you have to get used to learning the subconscious cues that show a guy likes you.

Body language doesn’t lie. A guy’s body language reveals how he really feels.

Learning to read body language is a valuable skill in life and it’s worth exploring in depth.

Here are some key body language signs that he likes you when he’s around you:

  • He licks his lips
  • He leans in when he talks to you
  • He stands close to you when possible
  • He touches your hand
  • He dances close to you
  • He does the “eyebrow flash” (if you see something you like, your eyebrows quickly flash up)
  • He keeps his feet angled toward you
  • His voice changes
  • He stands broad and tall
  • His lips part
  • He faces you
  • He blushes

6) He remembers everything you tell him

When you’re interested in someone, you remember everything they say.

Sometimes you even remember it word for word.

It’s the same when a guy is really interested in you.

He may be good at hiding the signs. But if he remembers what you’ve told him — even small details — he’s probably interested.

Even if you only ever see each other in passing, he’ll recall something you said, bring it up, and make a point of letting you know he’s been thinking of you.

That’s a great sign he is interested in what’s going on between the two of you.

7) He slips up and gets flustered when he talks to you

This is a cute sign!

Even the coolest guys get tongue-tied around girls they like. So the chances are they’re going to slip up and get flustered if he likes you.

So if the guy you are eyeing keeps making stupid jokes or saying all the wrong things, it could be that he’s not a knucklehead, but just really into you.

Go easy on the poor guy.

I know I’ve slipped up many times around girls I like!

8) He is always fidgeting and inching his way toward you

He can’t sit still but it’s not because he’s got a twitch.

It’s more likely that you make him nervous.

Remember that it’s harder than ever for guys to approach girls, especially very strong women that are rocking confidence and power.

More than ever women are gaining the upper hand in society and that can be off-putting to even the most confident guy.

It’s not sexy, but it’s probably a good sign he likes you.

9) He’s clearly trying to get your attention

If the man you’re interested in is trying to get your attention, he probably likes you.

He wants you to think he’s smart and successful.

For a long time, that’s all women wanted in a guy: someone to provide for her.

But these days, he’ll have to go out on a limb to talk about the good deeds he has done, the people he has helped, and the changes he has made in people’s lives.

Watch for him going on and on about how he saved a stray puppy and you’ll know he’s digging you.

DOES HE LIKE ME QUIZ: What would Sigmund Freud say? Answer a few simple questions about the subtle dynamics between you and the guy you like, and we’ll give you the answer. =>> Take the quiz here.

10) He picks on you, but in a fun way

Okay, I’m going to reveal a dirty little secret from my past.

I used to be a pick-up artist (PUA).

There’s a community of PUAs that teach each other how to meet girls and convince them to like them.

We learned many different tactics. One of these is called “negging”.

A “neg” is when you give a girl you like a back-handed compliment. It’s designed to make her feel good and slightly insecure at the same time.

Many men have learned these tactics. Other men do these tactics naturally.

If the man you like starts teasing you about your meal or shoes, he may not actually be a moron.

It could be that he’s teasing you because he likes you. Just know that he doesn’t actually mean to hurt your feelings.

He likes you, it’s just coming out all wrong.

11) He offers you genuine compliments

I recently watched an amazing (and free) masterclass on love and intimacy with the shaman Rudá Iandê that I mentioned above.

Rudá Iandê breaks down the key elements of healthy and nurturing relationships.

He says the best relationships are when two partners grow and evolve together in the relationship.

I don’t know about you, but these are the kinds of relationships I want.

So I do my best to give the woman I like genuine compliments.

If I like what she’s doing in life, I’ll tell her. If I like how she treats people around her, I tell her.

Keep in mind that some men are growing up and acting in mature ways.

They may be the kind of men who have attended Rudá Iandê’s masterclasses. It really opened my eyes in a lot of ways and I recommend everyone to give it a look.

12) You get that special feeling

You know the one I mean. You should be catching up on work but you’re daydreaming about the next time you see him.

You’re trying to put into words that special feeling you get when he’s around …

But it’s just not possible to put into words.

You feel something when you’re cuddled up with him, or looking in his eyes, or listening to his voice that you just don’t feel with any other guy.

Call it butterflies or having a crush or whatever you want.

It’s a special feeling that comes when he’s around.

13) It’s in his eyes

They say eyes are the windows to the soul and if that’s too New Age for you then think of it scientifically.

Our eyes respond to what’s around us in physical and instinctive ways.

The first and most obvious is that if we like something or want it … we look at it.

When we see something we desire our pupils often dilate and get bigger, so take a closer look. Are his eyes looking right at you and are the pupils getting bigger?

This is a good sign that he’s into you.

14) It’s in his look

Is he making steady eye contact and engaging with what you’re saying? Look at how he looks at the world and what gets his attention.

Does he look at you only briefly before glancing back down at his phone?

Not a good sign.

On the other hand, if he’s holding steady eye contact with you and his phone is not his object of affection there’s a good chance that he’s interested or at least on the way to becoming interested.

15) It’s in his expressions

Our expressions say a lot about our inner state and emotions.

This is especially true of spontaneous expressions that happen right after you say or do something. Are his eyebrows moving a lot and is he smiling frequently?

Does he look happy to hear your voice or kind of bored?

Does he look even happier when you react positively to a joke he tells or comment he makes?

These are good signs that he likes you more than a little.

DOES HE LIKE ME QUIZ: What would Sigmund Freud say? Answer a few simple questions about the subtle dynamics between you and the guy you like, and we’ll give you the answer. =>> Take the quiz here.

16) He feels like a hero around you

When a guy likes you, it’s often because you have triggered something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs to eventually love a woman.

What is it?

To fall in love, a guy needs to feel like he’s your protector. And that you genuinely respect him for doing this.

In other words, he needs to feel like your “hero”. Because when a man loves you he wants to be the one guy you can count on.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

Although you may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want him to fall in love with you, then you have to let him.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, watch James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your man.

I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across. And James Bauer is the real deal when it comes to relationship advice.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

17) He acts like he’s essential in your life

Men have a built in desire for something that goes beyond love or sex.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel essential to the woman in his life. Feeling essential is an important sign he likes you now. And is needed to trigger feelings of “love” down the track.

This biological drive compels men to provide for and protect women. He wants to step up for her, feel essential, and be appreciated for his efforts.

Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I mentioned this concept above.

Watch his excellent free video here. He explains exactly what the hero instinct is and how understanding can rocket your relationship to the next level.

James argues that men are not especially complicated; we’re just driven by primal instincts when it comes to women.

We all know that instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior. James Bauer simply takes this a step further and applies it to the romantic behavior of men.

I don’t often pay much attention to new fads in psychology. However, I think the hero instinct is a compelling explanation for what drives men romantically.

No one is saying that women need a hero to take care of them. Today women can change a tire, open their own jars, and generally fend for themselves in life.

While women may not need a hero, this doesn’t mean men still don’t want to feel essential to the woman in his life.

That’s why it’s important that women understand what the hero instinct is all about and how they can use it to their advantage.

Here is a link to James Bauer’s free video again.

Some ideas can be life-changing. And for relationships, I think the hero instinct is one of them.

Signs he’s pretending not to like you (but really does)

Okay, it’s really important to go a little deeper and be aware of the signs that he’s pretending not to like you but really does.

1) He starts talking to you then pretends it was just a joke

He’s probably insecure. When a guy isn’t sure what to say or doesn’t feel confident he can get a lot of anxiety over approaching a woman or what to say to her.

He may start talking to you then joke or pretend it was a dare from his friends.

He might even say hi or ask how you are and then awkwardly make an excuse and say he has to go when you answer.

It’s because he feels worried about how the interaction will go and wants to feel “safe” again by ending his time with you.

But deep down he is probably into you.

2) He acts casual and aloof but he sometimes slips up

Often guys will act casual and aloof – even when they really like a girl.

They do this to try not to get hurt by rejection. It’s a classic sign that he likes you but is hiding it if he acts casual and aloof but sometimes shows signs that you mean a lot more to him than a short-term fling.

These can include:

  • Sudden sweet compliments on your appearance or personality
  • Asking you out for a romantic date that seems pre-planned
  • Noticing him cruising your social media and liking a lot of posts
  • Answering texts and calls right away
  • Sounding very eager when he talks with you but then noticeably “toning it down” as he attempts to found more easygoing and disinterested

The truth is that when a guy is really interested it is hard for him to hide it completely.

He can be really good at masking his attraction.

But if you look hard you’ll see signs.

3) He seems sad or resigned around you

Sometimes a guy will pretend not to like you for a very sad reason.

He doesn’t believe you like him. Or that you could ever like him.

He doesn’t think he has a chance.

And he’s convinced that he’s not good enough.

For whatever reason of past experience or low self-esteem, he’s developed a resigned attitude about love and finding love. When he looks at you you can sense his attraction and desire.

But when it comes time to make a move or invite you on a date he’s a cold fish.

This guy will take time to open up and trust you and really see you like him.

But if he’s acting sad and resigned it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you.

4) He’s over-cautious around you

If a guy is being over-cautious around you it can be because he’s trying to hide that he likes you.

This could be for various reasons and one of the big ones is that he may believe you already have someone and he doesn’t want to spend his time an energy on an uphill battle.

Keep in mind that some guys have been badly burnt.

And they’re just trying to keep away from the flame this time around.

If he’s acting over-cautious and avoiding flirting, eye contact or deep conversations but he still seems to want to spend time with you it could be a good sign he’s been badly hurt and is trying to hide his attraction to you.

Don’t give up right away.

5) He’s curious about your dating history but never talks about his

This is a classic sign. If he’s asking who you’ve dated and perks up with big bunny ears when you talk about your ex-boyfriend but clams up when you ask about his romantic past there’s a good chance he’s into you but hiding it.

He’s just not ready to talk about his romantic experiences for some reason.

And it could take time to open him up.

If he wants to know all about who you’ve been kissing there’s a very high probability that he’s hoping to be the next guy on that list.

6) He just seems to … always be around but then acts like it’s no big deal

This is no mistake, trust me.

If he’s always checking up on how you’re doing and popping up where you are it’s a good sign he’s into you.

Sure, if you ask why he’s around so much he’ll downplay it.

But the truth is that he’s probably around you a lot because he likes you.

If he seems to always be around it’s a major sign that he’s into you but may just be too shy, insecure or hesitant to have made his feelings clear yet.

7) He says you’re just friends but never talks about other women

If you’re really just a friend and he’s not hoping for anything more then why does he go quiet when you ask about the women in his life?

Even if a guy says you’re only friends and he acts very noncommittal around you, the fact of the matter is that he’d be happy to tell someone he’s not into about women he finds attractive or interesting.

But with you he seems to only have eyes for you.

Even though you’re just a friend to him.

Sure.

In reality, you may be more than just friends.

8) He jokes about dating you

If he jokes about you two being together a lot but then seems to shy away when you take it seriously there’s a good chance he’s using humor to mask his attraction.

Sometimes jokes can be a way to hide our insecurity.

But as they say, every joke also has a grain of truth.

And the big grain in this one is that he’s thinking of being together with you.

Even if he finds the humor or lighthearted side of it there’s no reason he would be quipping this kind of stuff unless you were on his mind in a romantic context …

Take notes.

9) His friends don’t hit on you

Obviously any guy with decent friends shouldn’t let them flirt or be inappropriate with you, but if this guy likes you then you will notice his friends seem to have a special respect or distance around you.

That’s likely because he told them to back off from the girl he likes.

Even if he acts like no big deal around you and plays it cool, take a look at his friends and those around him.

How do they treat you?

If they treat you like you’re a girl he really likes then there’s a good chance it’s because you’re a girl he really likes.

10) He plays hot and cold

A guy who is a player will often do just that with women … play with them.

But not in a good way.

A player has often learned negative things about women from pickup artists, online videos and even their own attitudes that makes them scared to be vulnerable or fall for someone.

They will intentionally take a long time to respond to texts …

Post photos with other girls …

Speak in vague ways whenever emotions or your dating comes up …

And go from being all over you to distant and hard to read.

Players think that liking a girl is weakness. If he’s acting this way you need to demand consistency and break past his hard outer shell to find the real guy underneath.

 

 

What now?

There are many telltale signs that show if a guy likes you. At the end of the day, however, if the time is right then the best strategy is just to ask.

The problem is that men and women see the world differently. And men are motivated by different things than you when it comes to relationships.

I know this because I’ve been an emotionally unavailable man my whole life. My video above reveals more about this.

And learning about the hero instinct has made it crystal clear why I’m like this.

It’s not often that a mirror gets held up to my lifetime of relationship failure. But that’s what happened when I discovered the hero instinct. I ended up learning more about myself than I bargained for.

I’m 39. I’m single. And yes, I’m still looking for love.

After watching James Bauer’s video and reading his book, I realize that I’ve always been emotionally unavailable because the hero instinct was never triggered in me.

Watch James’ free video here for yourself.

My relationships with women involved everything from ‘best friends with benefits’ to being ‘partners in crime’.

In hindsight, I’ve always needed more. I needed to feel that I was the rock in a relationship. Like I was providing something to my partner that no one else could.

Learning about the hero instinct was my “aha” moment.

For years, I wasn’t able to put a finger on why I would get cold feet, struggle to open up to women, and fully commit to a relationship.

Now I know exactly why I’ve been single most of my adult life.

Because when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to commit to a relationship and forge a deep connection with you. I never could with the women I was with.

To learn more about this fascinating new concept in relationship psychology, watch this video here.

What would Sigmund Freud say?

Sometimes working out whether a guy likes you seems like an impossible task. Is he into you or just playing games?

Now, I know a thing or two about relationships and in this article I’m giving you the main signs to look out for.

But why not take things to the next level and get a love diagnosis from Sigmund Freud himself?

Yes, Freud himself can tell you whether he likes you.

I’ve just created a fun new quiz where Sigmund Freud will answer the one question all women ask about a guy at least once in their lives. All based on his most famous theories.

Sigmund Freud was the grandmaster at understanding sex and attraction. In my quiz, we’ll dig into the deeper layers of your man’s subconscious to reveal what’s really motivating him in your relationship.

Simply answer a few personal questions and Freud will give you the answer you need.

Take my epic quiz here.

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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