Lyndol Lyons
It’s been said that love is a blind alley.
And that’s totally true.
You can’t see what the other person is looking for, or you might not like what you see. But if you’re in love with your partner, but not sure where you stand what now?
You are not alone!
If you’re facing this exact scenario, This article contains the brutal truth about being with a man who doesn’t want a relationship.
If you’re brave enough, read on to find out how to deal with the situation.
Let’s dive in.
The Ugly Truth
Do you want a real simple answer?
He’s just not that into you.
You might have an awesome time together, the sex is mindblowing and the chemistry is off the charts, but….
Why?
Because he knows that if he commits to a relationship with you, then that’s it. He won’t be able to explore other avenues and he might feel that he will be missing out.
But, there’s more to it. Let me explain…
1) He doesn’t think that you are girlfriend material (yet).
He likes you and the vibe between you both is amazing, but he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship because he thinks that you aren’t his type.
He might think that you are too young or too old for him, or that he is too young or too old for you, or he might think that your personalities don’t match up, etc.
Whatever the case may be, he thinks that there are some fundamental differences between the two of you that will make you incompatible in the long run.
So, he’s looking for Miss right now and not Mrs long term.
Basically, you’re being used.
Let that sink in…
2) He’s still trying to figure out what he wants in life.
He might be going through something in his life that has made him realize that it is too soon for him to get into a serious relationship.
Some of us might not have it together even when we’re well into our 30s, and that’s ok.
But, do you really want to be with a man who’s uncertain about the future?
I wouldn’t..
Who knows, he might find himself and then hit you up when he’s gotten his sh@t sorted out.
For now, though, be strong and move on.
3) He doesn’t want to be judged.
The sad reality…
This man wants his bread buttered on all sides and expects you to just go along with it.
He might be afraid of losing his friends if he gets into a serious relationship with someone, or afraid of being judged by others for choosing one person over another.
Maybe he is afraid of not being able to live up to your expectations, or afraid of being judged by his family for choosing a particular person over another, or afraid of getting hurt by you.
Men can be frustratingly complicated but as the adage goes, when in doubt, leave out!
If I were you, I would call time of death on the relationship and move on.
While the points in this article will help you deal with the ugly truth about your relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like whether you should cut him off if he doesn’t want a relationship. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
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4) He doesn’t have the necessary maturity to commit.
He is a boy trapped in a man’s body.
He hasn’t developed the necessary maturity to be in a relationship.
He still has his boys’ nights out, and he still plays video games for hours on end.
He’s not ready for a serious relationship because he isn’t ready to grow up yet.
5) He has a fear of settling down.
I’ve touched on this previously.
He might have a fear of commitment or a fear of settling down because his parents divorced when he was younger, or maybe his parents are still together but they are not happy, which makes him fear relationships.
Alternatively, maybe his last relationship ended because he broke up with his girlfriend because he didn’t want to get married and start a family, so now he doesn’t want to even get involved with anyone again in case it leads to marriage.
He’s clearly not a long-term prospect.
The brutal truth..
Let him go.
6) The intensity of your feelings are not mutual
He doesn’t have the same kind of feelings for you as you have for him, and he doesn’t want to lead you on by pursuing anything further.
Why?
Well, because it would just make things awkward between the two of you.
7) You’re not his type, and he’s not your type either.
Sometimes we tend to be with someone just for the sake of having a partner.
It happens more often than you may think.
Let me explain…
He thinks you are amazing, but he just doesn’t see you as girlfriend material or you think that he is great, but you don’t see him as boyfriend material because he doesn’t do certain things.
Here’s the kicker.
When it comes to relationships, you might be surprised to hear that there’s one very important connection you’ve probably been overlooking:
The relationship you have with yourself.
I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his incredible, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
And once you start doing that, there’s no telling how much happiness and fulfillment you can find within yourself and with your relationships.
So what makes Rudá’s advice so life-changing?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s experienced the same problems in love as you and I have.
And using this combination, he’s identified the areas where most of us go wrong in our relationships.
So if you’re tired of your relationships never working out, of feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, this free video will give you some amazing techniques to change your love life around.
Make the change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve.
Click here to watch the free video.
If this is the case, you’re setting yourself up for failure and the brutal truth is that you need to end it now.
8) He’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend or his ex-wife.
He might have been married before and divorced, or maybe he was dating someone for a long time and things ended badly with her, but now that you’ve entered the picture.
Perhaps it has made him realize that there is something missing from all of his previous relationships, and it has brought back memories of what he had with his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife.
He might want to be with you, but he’s not over her yet.
But, it’s not fair on you. If he really wants you, he will show you that he does.
Sorry but this excuse just doesn’t cut it, so with that, cut him off.
9) He is focusing on other things in his life.
Maybe he’s too busy working on his career, or maybe he’s still in school and has a lot of work to do?
It could simply boil down to the fact that can’t focus on a relationship right now because it wouldn’t be fair to the both of you if he can’t give you 100% of his attention and energy.,
I can respect that, but, he needs to let you know instead of keeping you in limbo.
You can’t have the best of both worlds!
10) The chemistry is gone and he’s lost interest.
He doesn’t feel that there is any chemistry between the two of you, so he doesn’t feel like there is any point in trying to pursue anything with you.
He’s also not a big fan of awkward conversations and being rejected, so he’d rather just keep things casual and not try to pursue anything with you because he doesn’t want to get hurt again.
As mentioned earlier, you’re being used.
This is not ok.
Break it off or else prepare to get your heartbroken.
11) He’s scared
He might be scared to get into a relationship with you because he’s worried that you’re going to end up breaking his heart.
Maybe he was hurt by someone in the past and now he is afraid of getting hurt again, or maybe he has seen someone close to him go through a really bad breakup, and now he is scared that the same thing is going to happen to him as well.
If this is the case, do your best to show him that you’re committed to him and that you’re not going to hurt him.
Sometimes reassurance can be the best medicine for a man with past relationship trauma.
12) He’s lost interest
Sometimes there’s just no “nice” way to say this.
He’s just not attracted to you anymore and he wants to let you down easy, so he’s saying no.
Maybe his feelings for you have changed over time and now all of the sudden, he can’t even imagine himself being with someone else other than his ex-girlfriend or a new love interest that has recently come into his life.
Take it for what it is and move along with your life.
No good crying over spilled milk, right?!
13) He’s just not ready to give up his freedom just yet.
He might just not be ready to give up his freedom just yet.
He might want to continue having fun with women, and he doesn’t want to settle down with one woman until he’s ready to do so, so maybe all of this time, it really is his fault because he never wanted to settle down in the first place.
You can’t force him to love you but you can make the right decision for you, move on.
How do you let go of someone who doesn’t want a relationship?
It’s a bitter pill to swallow but there are some things that you can do to make the process easier.
Accept the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship.
You need to accept the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship, and you need to stop trying to convince him otherwise.
You can’t force someone to love you, and if he’s really not ready for a relationship, then you’re just going to have to let him go.
Stop trying so hard.
Stop trying so hard and stop forcing yourself on him because it’s only going to make things worse for both of you in the long run.
If he doesn’t want a relationship with you, then there’s nothing that you can do about it, so just let him go and move on with your life instead of wasting any more time trying to convince him otherwise.
Try to get over him.
Try to get over him and move on with your life instead of wasting any more time with a man who’s not interested in you, so if you really want to move on with your life, then you need to accept the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship and stop trying so hard.
Realize that you deserve better than this.
You deserve better than this, so if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone, then you need to get over him and start living your life again because it’s time for you to start living your own life instead of spending all of your time worrying about someone who’s not interested in you.
Let go of the fantasy.
Let go of the fantasy and stop thinking about him because it’s not going to do you any good.
If he can’t see what a wonderful woman you are, then there’s nothing that you can do about it, so instead of spending your time thinking about him, why not just let go of the fantasy and move on with your life instead?
Don’t think about him anymore.
Don’t think about him anymore because if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, then there’s nothing that you can do about it.
Just try to forget about him and move on with your life instead because it’s time for you to start living your own life and not waste any more of your time on someone who’s not interested in you.
Realize that you are enough and you have lots going for you!
Realize that you’re still young and attractive, so if you want to find a good man, then you need to stop wasting your time with someone who’s not interested in being in a relationship with you.
Start living your life again instead of spending all of your time thinking about someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
There are plenty of guys out there who would love to be with a woman like you!
How do I know if he’s not interested in me?
A man who’s not interested in you will never call you, he won’t answer your calls, he won’t ask you out on a date, and he won’t try to see you again.
He’ll also never tell you that he loves you, that he misses you, or that he cares about you. He’ll also never tell his friends about how wonderful a woman you are and what a good relationship the two of you have together.
A man who’s not interested in being with a woman will simply disappear from her life without any explanation whatsoever..
And then come back for a booty call when the need arises…
Need I say more?
How do I know if I’m wasting my time on him?
I call this one the six-week test
If after six weeks or so of dating a guy and going out with him on dates and spending time with him, he still hasn’t even tried to kiss you or make love to you, then it’s a pretty good indication that he’s not interested in being with you.
If after six weeks or so of dating a guy and going out with him on dates and spending time with him, he still never calls you, then it’s a pretty good indication that he’s not interested in being with you.
If after six weeks or so of dating a guy and going out with him on dates and spending time with him, he doesn’t ask you out again after the first date or two, then it’s a pretty good indication that he’s not interested in being with you.
Wrapping Up
In conclusion, if a man is not interested in you, then there’s absolutely nothing that you can do about it other than to cut him off.
That, ladies, is the brutal truth.
There are plenty of fish in the sea so don’t waste another moment of your precious time trying to please someone who’s only making you an option instead of a priority.
