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15 clear signs you’re suffering from self-entitlement

If you’re like me, you hate spending time with self-entitled people.

They’re self-centered, crave attention and won’t hesitate to chuck a hissy fit to get what they want.

And yet, they’re everywhere. Experts even go as far as saying that our generation has been raised to become so self-entitled, it affects the way we do our jobs and handle our relationships.

In fact, statistics show that 65% of American adults think that millennials are entitled. There are different reasons why we become self-entitled. It can be because of parenting, our sense of “ownership” to the world, or the fact that are generation has been more intellectually trained and skilled than other generations before us.

No matter what it is, self-entitlement is not a good thing. Having this trait could affect every aspect of our lives. It may even hinder our happiness.

I don’t know about you, but life is too short to spend time with people who think they’re God’s gift to humanity.

So if you’re wondering whether you’re a little self-entitled, here are 15 behaviors you need to stamp out.

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1. Set Unrealistic Expectations On The People Around You

Self-entitled people will always find themselves superior to others.

You expect everyone to be at your beck and call, and you tend to act violently when they don’t.

This superiority complex gives you the notion that “you deserve” things. You believe that you are entitled to their attention and efforts, and find ways to punish them when reality proves you otherwise.

But actually, your habit of setting unrealistic expectations is caused by unmet past expectations from your parents or your superiors.

According to this study by researcher Paul Harvey;

“These unmet expectations stem from the discrepancy between psychologically entitled employees’ inflated
assessments of their own performance and the relatively objective assessments of evaluators.

“Given this tendency toward inflated expectations that are based on unfounded self-worth perceptions, unmet expectations can be viewed as part and parcel of psychological entitlement.”

2. You Find Ways To Assert Your Superiority

Feelings of entitlement often come as a side-effect of deep seated insecurity.

If you dig deep down into a self-entitled person, instead of high self-esteem, you’ll see someone who actually feels inadequate.

To prevent feelings of insecurity from actually surfacing, entitled people will find ways to assert their dominance over others. They do this to compensate for their lack of confidence. They don’t feel good about themselves, so they try to look dominant.

Narcissistic individuals find it hard to collaborate because they are focused on amplifying their strengths while undermining everyone else’s.

3. You Sincerely Think You Are Better Than Most People

There’s a fine line that separates self-confidence and entitlement.

Entitled individuals think that they deserve respect from peers, colleagues, and even superiors, no matter what happens. Even if they don’t deserve it.

Lonerwolf suggests that self-entitled people have something in between a healthy belief that they deserve things to extreme and “malignant self-love” and “full-blown narcissism.”

You believe that your superiority protects you from most consequences and this encourages you to act haphazardly against co-workers and loved ones.

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4. You Don’t Have A Lot Of Friends

This one is a pretty strong indicator that you have a personality problem.

People who radiate negativity and have entitlement will deter any good, positive people from their lives.

Perhaps you won’t find it difficult to attract people. Some may even find your confidence attractive and desirable at first. But over time, the negative manifestations of your entitlement shines through, and you end up pushing people away from you instead.

Are you having trouble maintaining meaningful relationships with friends and romantic partners? Do you have difficult and strained relationships with family members?

Your lack of genuine, intimate relationships can be a good indication that you’re entitled.

5. You Are Convinced That Your Priorities Should Come First, No Matter What The Cost

When it comes to fulfilling needs, you think that yours should always come first, no matter the situation.

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You often find yourself saying, “to hell with them,” because your interests always comes first. You’re not even afraid of the consequences. Even if it means losing important people or opportunities. Being considerate comes second to getting what you need.

You don’t care if someone is experiencing a bad week or is undergoing through an emotional stage in their lives. You’re not able to see other people’s suffering, because you’re blinded by your own interests.

You will demand that your needs, although not as urgent as someone else’s, be put above all else.

6. Compromise Is Almost Impossible With You

Whether it’s deciding simple things like where to eat or what movie to watch to making life-changing choices, you tend to find a way to have your way with people.

Do people find you pushy in this sense? Have you been told you’re too proud and unwilling to bend to anyone else’s wants or opinions?

You’ll find that most people find it challenging to talk to you because they know negotiating with you is like talking to a brick wall. This can manifest negatively to your work, and you may have trouble forming friendly, if not, civil relationships with your co-workers.

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7. You Take Your Relationships For Granted

The people around you don’t feel like people. Instead, you look at them and treat them as objects that you can manipulate and use.

You tend to be attracted to people who can give you something. And once they no longer serve you purpose, you don’t take a another second to cut them off.

You gauge relationships according to how much value and use you’ll siphon from them.

But when it comes to asking you for favors, you never have any inclinations to help people unless it benefits you in some way. You are simply not capable of reciprocity.

8. You Treat Everyone Around You As A Threat Or Competition

Self-entitlement will inevitably manifest itself in toxic powerplay.

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Because you recognize that your needs, thoughts, and feelings take precedence over others’, you strive to maintain this position by ensuring that people know who’s the boss.

This mentality means you are not capable of taking directions. You resent having to follow instructions and don’t like it when you’re made to feel inferior.

You are deeply suspicious of individuals outside of your comfort zone, and naturally so, because you are paranoid that they are trying to “usurp” your position.

9. You Have No Moral or Ethical Bounds

You are an incredibly goal-oriented person, which is a potentially positive trait for most people.

However, your perseverance typically comes at the expense of other people and you are willing to stop at nothing to achieve your goals.

It doesn’t matter if you are violating rules or hurting individuals; the only thing that matters to you are your goals.

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10. You “Punish” People

Because you like imposing unrealistic expectations on the people around you, you find yourself often disappointed when confronted with the fact that what you want isn’t always what you’ll get.

This doesn’t stop you from conditioning people to follow through your impositions, though. You find ways to punish people–discreetly or directly–and train them to always look out for your needs.

Different forms of punishments can take place. It can be anything from silent treatment to torturing a colleague to ensure that you get what you want every single time.

11. You Think You Deserve Happiness and Will Do Anything To Have It

When you see yourself above other people, you start believing that your happiness should come unconditionally.

You often justify your manipulative and destructive behavior as a means to achieving happiness.

When confronted with your own behavior, your retaliations revolve around deserving happiness.

12. People Often Think You’re Manipulative

How people see you is often a good indicator of what you are objectively.

If your peers see you as someone who is manipulative and tends to resort to bullying to get their way, then it only means that you have a bad attitude.

13. You Love Creating Drama

Everything revolves around you.

When things don’t go according to plan, when you feel even the smallest inconvenience, you tend to stir the pot and cause drama.

You tend to rebel against other people if things don’t go your way and harbor self-pity that manifests in destructive and attention-seeking demeanor.

14. You Crave Praise and Admiration

Entitled people need to know they are the best.

Insecurity tugs at the core of every narcissistic person, so they rely heavily on compliments and admiration to both justify their unruly methods and appease their hunger for attention.

15. You Have No Regard For Others

They don’t care about anyone else but themselves. If they make your life worse, it doesn’t matter because they’re trying to get what they want.

Self-entitlement can be healthy, but only in small degrees

Recent studies suggest that self-entitlement can actually be healthy, if only a little bit.

One particular study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology even suggests that in small doses, self-entitlement can boost creativity.

The study’s lead researcher, Lynne C. Vincent, a post-doctoral research fellow at the Vanderbilt Owen Graduate School of Management, says;

“Our results suggest that people who feel more entitled value being different from others, and the greater their need for uniqueness, the more they break convention, think divergently and give creative responses.”

And in truth, a little self-confidence and self-love goes a long way in ensuring our success. Entitlement allows you to think outside the box, and when you believe that you can do it – you more than likely will.

However, it does you no good when your entitlement issues negatively affect your life, or worse, your relationships to other people.

Maturity starts in taking responsibility for your choices, attitude, and behavior. At some point, you also have to realize that the world owes you nothing. And then you can start reflecting on your behavior.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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