Falling in love is easy. It’s staying in love that takes a little work.
True, it’s important not to force love or push a connection. But if you’ve been together long enough, you know that it’s essential to keep that spark alive from time to time.
There’s a stage in every relationship where couples get too comfortable with each other, that they start taking each other for granted.
You start forgetting to do the little things that make each other smile. Or you fail to show how you appreciate one another.
According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist, counselor, and author of ‘Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other.,
“Realise that it is in moments of restlessness and upheaval that you find out who you are and what it truly means to love.
“It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the setting is romantic, when you’ve got jingle in your pocket, when you’re looking good and feeling fine.
“But when one of you is out of sorts, exhausted, overwhelmed and distracted, behaving lovingly requires conscious effort.
At the end of the day, relationships take work, and you need to put on the conscious effort of choosing to stay in love with each other.
The good news is, you don’t need to do grand things to make your partner fall more deeply in love with you. Read ahead to learn 11 simple things that can ensure your love lasts a lifetime.
1. Appreciate them every day.
You’ve gotten used to each other. That means that you don’t think twice about the things they consciously do to make sure you’re happy and comfortable. But try to remain appreciative of these small things. Always say thank you and show appreciation when they go out of their way to make you dinner or when they buy you your favorite pastry. It might be inconsequential to you, but showing them you’re grateful for all the things they do, no matter how small, goes a long way to making them feel loved.
2. Let them have a life.
Just because you are a couple doesn’t mean you need to be joined at the hip every second. You need to remember that you both have your own lives. You have your own careers, goals, social life, and interests. And it’s absolutely healthy to give each other space. Giving your partner time alone to relax, do what they love, or spend time with their friends and family, can be a nice gift to give them from time to time
3. Offer to do things they don’t like to do themselves.
This is a small gesture, but you have no idea how much they’ll appreciate it. You probably already know the chores or errands that your partner hates doing, and offer to do it for them. If they don’t like doing the groceries, take the initiative to do it yourself.
If your partner’s language of love is “acts of service,” they’ll literally give you the heart eyes.
4. Stay away from your phone when you’re together.
Nothing is more annoying than trying to talk to someone who is so busy with their phone. Not only is it irritating, but it’s extremely disrespectful to your partner. It might be good to establish a “no phone” rule when you’re out on date night or when you’re chilling with Netflix at home. Stay connected with your partner, not your smartphone.
5. Don’t ask them to give up anything important to them.
If you really love someone, you don’t ask them to give up anything they love for you. Never ask your partner to choose you over their passion. They will resent you for it. Ultimatums like this can even damage your relationship beyond repair. Instead, support them. Don’t make them feel guilty for spending less time with you. Tell them that it’s okay to do what they love. They will appreciate you for it.
6. Learn to handle arguments in a healthy and mature way.
No one wants to be with someone who loves drama and acts immaturely during fights. If you want your partner to listen to you and respect you, you need to handle your fights and disagreements like an adult. They will appreciate you more as a partner. And it’s good for your relationship, too.
7. Be their soundboard.
Sometimes your partner just wants to vent out. Maybe they’ve had a horrible day at work, or are frustrated about something. Or perhaps they’ve discovered a new idea they are passionate about. Take the time to listen to them. Be a place of comfort for them. They probably do the same thing for you. So don’t forget to return the favor.
8. It’s all in the small details.
You don’t have to buy the biggest and most expensive gifts for your partner. In truth, they’ll appreciate it more if you give them something intimate and personal. Sometimes, even showing up at their workplace with their favorite coffee in hand can make them smile for weeks. Truthfully, it’s all in the small details. Remember the little things they love and incorporate it to everything you give them. This makes all your gifts more memorable and meaningful.
9. Make time for them in your busy schedule.
Sometimes life just gets too hectic that it’s easy to be out-of-sync with your partner. But it’s important to make sure you both have time for each other. Even if it’s as simple as making sure you go to bed at the same time, or having lunch once a week. Doing this makes your partner know that you prioritize your relationship, too.
10. Surprise them with nice gestures.
Everyone loves to be surprised with a nice gesture. Even if it’s just randomly calling your partner to check up on them. It doesn’t have to be big or grand. Take them out on a surprise picnic at the park, or throw them an intimate surprise birthday party. Not only is it fun to plan for you, but it also gives them a feeling of being well-loved.
11. Be their cheerleader.
The best thing about being in love, is having a best friend – and everything that comes with it. Don’t forget to be there for your partner through the good times and bad. Grieve with them when they fail. And celebrate their successes when they come. Be their life’s cheerleader and never fail to make them feel like you have their back. There’s nothing more that speaks of real, deep love, than having a true life partner holding your hand.
By now you should have a good idea of how to make your partner develop deep feelings for you.
So what can you do to impact this?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.