The concept of finding “the one” is a polarizing thing. Do you honestly mean to say that in a world of 7 billion people, there’s only one perfect person for each of us, just one?
No wonder there’s such a debate.
But why do we even date? Why do we dedicate so much time and effort meeting people, putting ourselves out there, swiping right, if we’re not looking for something great, wonderful, or magical?
We’ve all learned that love is not like the movies. Life is not a romantic comedy.
No one will chase you at the airport gate with a monologue declaring their love. Chances are you won’t meet someone who will build your dream house and spend their days pining after you in misery.
If you’ve loved and lost many times before, you know that those things do not equate to real love.
For you, finding “the one” then becomes a simpler case of finding someone who accepts you entirely. Someone who chooses to love you every single day, even when it’s not the easiest choice. “The one” becomes less about perfection, and more about finding a life partner.
So how do you know when you’ve met “the one?” Here are 10 clear signs.
1. You can be yourself with them.
There is no clearer sign than this that you’ve met “the one.” You can be completely yourself with them. They’ve seen you at your worst – messy hair, puffy face, sweat pants you haven’t changed out of from the weekend – and they still think you’re the most beautiful, adorable person in the world.
But that’s not all. You can be at your most embarrassing, horrible, moody behavior with them. In fact, you can show them your worst side, and somehow you’re not afraid they’ll leave. You can let your guard down and still feel safe.
You’ll know you’ve met the one when you’re unafraid to show them the real you, and all the imperfections that come with it.
2. Your goals and values are aligned.
One of the major reasons why relationships don’t work out is because two people just have different goals and values in life. When you’ve met “the one,” that won’t be the case.
Sure, everything is not perfect. One of you likes coffee and one likes tea. It’s not a perfect puzzle piece. And there are aspects in both of your lives that aren’t totally compatible.
But for the most part, you are both working towards the same thing. You are both at a stage where you want to establish a life together, be it a home, a project, or a family. And while you have individual lives – careers, friends, and hobbies – you agree about one thing: Where your relationship is heading in the future.
3. You handle challenges in a mature and healthy way.
Fights and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. But you know you’ve found the one when you can go through arguments in a healthy way.
In fact, you don’t fight about insignificant things. When you do have arguments, it’s about things that matter, not about petty things.
You talk it out like mature adults, instead of having a shouting match in the middle of a social event. You know you’ve found the one when you can listen, communicate, and compromise with each other effectively. You’re stronger after every fight. You’re a team, for better or for worse.
4. You’re filled with gratitude for each other.
You feel incredibly lucky to have found this person. And they feel the same way about you. That’s something. Because you know each other’s flaws, you’ve seen your worst together, and yet, you still feel like you’re the luckiest couple in the world.
That’s because you recognize and value each amazing thing about one another. You are incredibly proud of what the other person has achieved. You know this person will be a great partner.
So every time you look at them, you can’t help but feel so grateful to finally find “the one.”
5. They are committed to you.
When you’ve met the one, you won’t have to worry about the “status” of your relationship. It’s a no-brainer. You are in a committed relationship with each other.
Your trust in this person is complete. They give you so much security, that you no longer feel any anxiety when they’re out without you.
If you’ve found someone who puts effort into making you happy, puts your needs above their own, and doesn’t risk your relationship for anything – then trust me, you’ve found the one.
6. You’ve found a home in them.
Being around them gives you a sense of comfort and peace that you’ve never felt before. In fact, you may have started feeling this early on in the relationship.
It’s something hard to explain. But there’s a sense of being “home” when you’ve found your match. Life is easier when you know you’re part of a strong team. And though there are bumpy things ahead, you know that this home can’t easily be broken.
It doesn’t matter where you go or what you’re doing together. You can have fun and laugh at the silliest things, even when things don’t go your way. You don’t need to go out of your way to have excitement.
As long as you’re with them, everything is an exciting adventure.
7. Everyone sees how happy and content you are.
You can’t always please everyone, that’s for sure. Your family and friends, especially have high standards when it comes to you and your partner. They want nothing but the best for you.
So it’s a definite sign you’ve found your soulmate when everyone close to you approves of them. They can see how happy this person makes you, and that makes them happy, too.
It’s an added bonus when everyone important to you is 100% backing your relationship up.
8. You feel beyond loved.
It’s love, but it’s absolutely more than that. Love isn’t just a feeling that gives you butterflies and sweeps you off your feet.
Real love makes you feel supported. It motivates you to become the best version of yourself. Real love inspires you to achieve greater things.
So if you’re with someone who not only supports you, but cheers you on as well – you’ve found the one.
If they respect your dreams, goals, values, though they might not share them entirely, then you know they’re in it for the lifetime.
9. There’s just a gut-feeling that they’re “the one.”
You just know. Most of the time, it’s really as simple as that.
All of these little signs just point that you’ve found your life partner. And there’s a feeling in your gut, something in your instincts telling you you’ve met “the one.”
It’s a palpable thing that science simply can’t explain. And to be honest, you don’t need to understand it.
10. They’re teaching you important life lessons.
Are they challenging you to become better? You know you found the one when they are teaching you important life lessons. Maybe not directly, but they are forcing you to look at life differently.
Your soulmate is not only your partner, but also your greatest teacher. They will push you and challenge you and expect nothing less of you. But they don’t do it for them. They do it for you, for your betterment, for your well-being, for your happiness.
They will recognize your true value better than you do. And they will teach you to embrace your potential so you can achieve greater things.
It’s having someone who forces you to look at yourself better, and then making you want to be better.