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Why is he ignoring me? 23 reasons (+ what to do about it)

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Have you ever had a situation where your significant other is being rude to you, ignores you, or just doesn’t seem interested in your needs?

You’re not alone.

This happens to all of us at some point in our relationship.

Sometimes it can be hard to know what to do when this happens; we might feel like we are losing our partner or that they aren’t treating us with the respect we deserve.

Here are 22 reasons why your significant other might be ignoring you and what to do about it.

1) He’s doesn’t have time

When was the last time he shared some details with you about his schedule?

Yes, that’s right. Maybe he’s busy and just doesn’t have as much time as he used to have before.

Have you ever considered that your significant other is really busy right now? As a result, he can’t find the time to talk or hang out with you. But guess what?

It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s ignoring you. Instead, he’s busy with other things.

Even if you’ve heard the advice a million times, you definitely need to ask him if he has a plan for the weekend and what he wants to do.

2) He’s not into you anymore

Want to hear the most frequent reason for ignoring somebody?

That’s losing interest in someone.

Does he still seem attracted to you? Is he still into you?

Just ask yourself these questions and try to answer them sincerely. If you’re sure he’s still into you, then you should continue identifying why he’s ignoring you. But if he’s not, then you should take different steps.

Ignoring is something that all of us have experienced at some point in our lives. When we don’t feel like someone cares about us anymore, we tend not to talk or become distant ourselves. The result?

Maybe he’s not attracted to you anymore, or maybe he can’t stand the sight of you. It’s happened to every woman at some point in their life.

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if your significant other is just not into you anymore or if he has some sort of issues with you and doesn’t want to be with you.

If this is the case, then you need to talk about it.

You might feel a little insecure about it, but it’s good that you brought it up with him and they came up with a solution together. It will save both your time and energy in the long run.

3) It makes him feel like a hero

Another reason why he’s ignoring you could be the fact that he feels power by doing so. In simple words, ignoring you makes him feel like a hero.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including exactly how to trigger it in your man.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

4) He feels like he’s not getting enough attention from you

It’s one thing if your significant other is busy all the time and doesn’t want to spend time with you. Another thing is if he doesn’t feel like he gets enough attention from you.

See the difference?

Now you might be wondering how that could be, but it could be because of something that happened in the past or something that happened recently.

This is a very common mistake that many people make. What about you?

You might be the only person that he talks to, but he’s not getting what he wants from you.

If you want to know why your significant other ignores you, then you should pay attention to how much time he spends with other people.

  • Are they getting closer to him?
  • Do they have more fun together?
  • Is he just not as happy as he used to be when you were together?

If this is the case, then you should definitely start taking care of him to show that he’s worth your attention.

5) He’s in love with somebody else

Losing someone is hard, but you know what’s worse?

Losing someone because they are in love with another person isn’t so easy to deal with.

In this situation, the person being ignored is completely devastated and feels rejected by their significant other. They feel like the relationship is over and they might even think that their significant other might be cheating on them.

Why do I say this?

Sometimes, it’s not even you that he ignores. It could be another girl. Maybe he’s in love with her and is trying to figure out how to tell you about it.

But if this is the case, then you need to take a step back and think about what you’re doing wrong. You may have been ignoring him for a long time, and he’s just now telling you that he loves somebody else.

You might be thinking that this is all your fault because of how much time you’ve been ignoring him, but it’s not your fault at all. You can’t make someone fall in love with you if they don’t want to be with you first.

So, here’s what you can do:

1) Go back to the beginning and try to understand why he might be ignoring you.

2) Take a step back and wait for him to tell you about his new girl.

3) If he doesn’t tell you about her, then try to talk to him about it again, but if it still doesn’t work out, then this relationship is over and there’s nothing more that you can do about it.

6) He’s in love with himself

Sounds a bit weird, right?

I know, I get it. It really does sound weird.

But it’s true.

This one is very similar to number 4, except that this one is also very common. If he’s already in love with himself, then he will most likely not be able to see you as a woman and will only be interested in making himself happy.

But also, if your significant other is in love with himself, then it’s because he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for you.

This is something that I’ve experienced personally with my own boyfriend, and I know how hard it can be to deal with when you’re in a relationship. You need to understand that if he feels this way about himself, then he just might not think that he’s good enough for you at all.

7) He has an ex-girlfriend in mind

You know what? Sometimes your significant other will start ignoring you because he has an ex-girlfriend in mind.

He’s trying to forget about the problems that he had with her, and he doesn’t want to talk about her anymore. He wants to have a fresh start with you and wants to forget about everything that happened before. But the problem with this is that he’s not really over his ex-girlfriend. He’s just trying to forget about her.

Still not convinced?

You need to understand that he might be trying to forget about this ex-girlfriend because he’s still in love with her.

8) He thinks you’re not interested in him

I know, this one sounds a bit unusual, right? But it’s very common.

In this case, your significant other thinks that you are not interested in him and will try to find out why. But believe it or not, if you’re not interested in him at all, then he’ll probably still be in the same state as he was before.

He’ll keep ignoring you because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. He wants to believe that you’re just not interested in him.

But if you are really not interested in him at all or have any other reason as to why you’re not interested in him, then don’t worry about it because it’s just going to make things worse for both of you.

Does this sound familiar?

If so, then you should try to express your feelings and show him that you care.

9) His shyness makes him ignore you

Imagine this: you’re out with your friends, and your significant other is just sitting there. He doesn’t say anything and doesn’t seem to be into the conversation at all. You think that he’s not even paying attention to what you’re saying and how you’re looking at him.

You wait for him to say something, make a joke, or smile, but he seems like he’s not even listening to you.

It’s a familiar story and begins with a feeling of shyness. It’s like he’s afraid that you’ll think that he’s not good enough for you.

And guess what?

This could be because of his shyness, which makes him act in this way. He wants to know if it’s okay for him to talk or if it’s too bold for him to start a conversation with you. But if he wants to talk about it, then start talking about it!

You need to understand that if he can’t talk about anything personal with you without feeling awkward, then it’s going to make things harder for both of you in the future.

I learned this from relationship expert Amy North. In her excellent free video, you’ll learn about her life-changing solution for dealing with emotionally unavailable men.

Amy North’s techniques work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.

If you want science-based techniques to make a man fall in love with you, this video is well worth checking out.

Click here to watch the free video.

10) He tries to play it cool

Want to know the most common signs that your significant other is ignoring you?

He wants to play it cool so he doesn’t seem too desperate, but he’s actually desperate. It’s that simple.

He doesn’t want to be too forward or make a move because he thinks that it might make him look desperate.

But do you have any idea why he’s trying to play it cool?

It’s because he doesn’t want to make you feel rejected. He’s afraid that you’ll think that he doesn’t like you or that he doesn’t want to be with you.

And guess what?

You don’t have to reciprocate his feelings. You don’t have to say “I love you” or anything like that. Don’t play along with his games, and don’t try to please him. If he wants to play it cool, then let him play it cool!

But if you’re not interested in him at all, then why should you try to be cool with him? You shouldn’t try to be cool at all because that’s going to make things worse for both of you!

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11) He’s getting ready for a breakup

You care about your significant other and want to stay with him, but he’s going through a breakup. He’s acting like everything is fine and that there’s no problem at all.

But what does he think about you? Does he still love you?

If he really loves you, then why does he keep breaking up with you?

He knows that it’s going to hurt a lot, but if he really loves you, then why is he going through this? He doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants to be with someone who will make him feel good and happy.

And if that person isn’t him, then it’s better for both of them if they break up.

But if he isn’t sure about the relationship, then he needs to tell you that he doesn’t want to break up. He wants you to stay with him and not break up with him. If you don’t like the way he’s acting, then tell him that you’re going to break up with him so that he can change his behavior. Trust me, it’s easier than you think it is.

12) He’s hiding something

He’s acting like everything is fine, but you know that something is wrong. He’s hiding something, and he doesn’t want to tell you what it is.

You’ve tried everything to figure things out, but he won’t talk about it.

You’re not sure whether he’s cheating on you or not, but you know that something is wrong and you want to know what it is.

And he doesn’t want to tell you because if he tells you, then that means that there’s a problem. If there’s a problem, then things are going to get even worse than before.

If you’re not sure about the situation with him, then take things into your own hands and ask him about it. Ask him what is wrong with him and if there’s anything that he needs help with.

If he loves you, then he would tell you what’s going on so that you can work together to fix the problem. But if he doesn’t love you, then why should he tell you? He doesn’t have to tell you anything because it’s better to keep the secret.

13) He has someone else to spend time with

He’s telling you that he wants to spend more time with you, but he’s spending most of his time with someone else.

He doesn’t want to talk about this person, and he doesn’t want you to know who she is. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him for spending time with her, and he doesn’t want you to see her or talk to her. He’s trying to protect himself from your anger because he knows that if you’re angry, then there will be problems in the relationship.

I bet this sounds familiar.

If that’s the case,  then you have to have the courage to tell him that it’s not working out between the two of you. It’s going to be hard, but you need to hold yourself together because if he doesn’t love you, then he doesn’t really care about your feelings and happiness.

14) He thinks you’re better than him

He’s telling you that he’s a better person than you, and he thinks that you’re not good enough for him.

He’s telling you that your friends are better than him, and he doesn’t care about them. He knows that this is wrong and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but it’s hard for him to keep his mouth shut when what he really wants is to tell you how much he cares about you.

But even if he thinks that you should ask yourself these questions:

  • Why is he ignoring you?
  • Why is he ignoring your feelings?
  • Is he trying to protect himself from you?
  • Or is he just trying to show you that you’re not good enough for him?

Just try to think about these questions, and you can figure out what’s going on.

15) He doesn’t want to talk about the future

Have you and your boyfriend ever talked about the future?

If so, the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about the future might be the reason why he’s ignoring you.

Maybe talking bout the future is like a burden to him. He doesn’t want to think about the future because if he starts thinking about the future, then he might have to make a decision.

He doesn’t want to make a decision, because then he would have to deal with all of his problems, and that’s something that he really doesn’t want. He wants you to do all of the work for him.

In fact, it’s better for him if you don’t ask him any questions about the future because that means that you’re not asking him any questions about his feelings or his thoughts.

16) He doesn’t want to show you love in public

Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend is never around when you go out in public?

Maybe your boyfriend is afraid of showing your love in public because if he does that, then he might get a lot of attention.

He doesn’t want to be around people because it’s hard for him to deal with all of the attention that he gets from other people. He prefers to be alone and not have to deal with any of the attention that he gets from other people.

In fact, sometimes when you’re out in public, your boyfriend will ignore you and just pretend like you don’t exist.

If that’s the case, then maybe it’s time for you to ask yourself these questions:

  • Why is your boyfriend not around when you go out in public?
  • Why does he ignore you when you’re out with your friends?

And don’t forget to make sure to explain that the way he acts around you in the public isn’t acceptable for you.

17) He doesn’t want to talk about his problems

Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend seems to be in a bad mood all the time?

If so, then let me guess. Your boyfriend is afraid of talking about his problems because if he does that, then he might have to make a decision.

He doesn’t want to make any decisions because that would mean that he would have to deal with all of his problems, and that’s something that he really doesn’t want. He wants you to do all of the work for him.

In fact, it’s better for him if you don’t ask him any questions about his problems because then he can pretend like nothing is wrong and everything is fine.

18) He’s losing his private space

Admit it. How much do you try to stay away from your boyfriend?

Deep down, you know that you’re not giving him enough space. But the truth is, everyone needs to have a private space.

Whether you like it or not, you need to understand that everyone needs personal space in order to feel safe.

When you’re in his private space, he feels like he can be himself and not have to worry about anything.

So if your boyfriend is losing his private space, then it might be time for you to help him get his private space back.

19) He’s really stressed out and has a lot of work to do

Maybe they have too much on their plate and they aren’t able to give your needs the attention you deserve right now. This is especially true if your partner is also working full-time and has a lot on their plate at the same time as not being able to spend as much quality time with you as usual.

It’s normal to have a stressful day every once in a while, but if your partner is constantly stressed out,  then it might be time for you to ask him what is going on.

For example, if you notice that he’s really stressed out and has a lot of work to do, then let him know that he needs to relax a little bit.

What’s the catch?

If your guy wants to relax, but he can’t because he’s under a lot of stress, then it might be time for you to take matters into your own hands.

20) You demand too much from him

If you’re constantly asking your boyfriend to do things for you, then it might be time for you to understand that he is not a mind reader. Why?

Because he can’t read your mind and know what you want him to do.

That’s a fact.

It’s not his fault that he doesn’t know what you want him to do, but if it’s something that he can do, then he’ll try his best to help you out.

And have you ever asked yourself why you’re demanding so much from him?

If you’re constantly demanding things from him, then it might be time for you to understand that he probably has a lot of things to take care of.

21) He’s secretly dating someone else

It’s normal to want to date someone else, but if your boyfriend is secretly dating someone else, then it might be time for you to be honest with him.

If your boyfriend is secretly dating someone else, and you find out that he’s cheating on you, then it might be time for you to end the relationship.

Let me tell you something.

It’s normal for people to want to be alone sometimes, but if your partner is secretly dating someone else,  then it might be time for you to ask him why he’s not with you anymore.

For example, if your boyfriend is constantly on his phone checking his social media and talking to his friends and he doesn’t even notice that you’re standing there, then it might be time for you to talk about it.

But seeing someone else secretly is different. And there’s nothing normal about it. Actually, it’s not even acceptable. And that’s why you should start working on this problem right now.

22) He’s in denial (or pretending)

If your boyfriend is in denial about his cheating, then it might be time for you to confront him.

First of all, let me explain something.

Denial is not a good sign, and it’s not good for your relationship.

And if your boyfriend is in denial about his cheating, then it might be time for you to confront him.

If he still won’t admit that he’s cheating, then it might be time for you to dump him if he doesn’t change his ways.

23) He doesn’t respect you enough (or respect your relationship)

Can I be totally honest with you?

If your boyfriend doesn’t respect you enough, then it might be time for you to end the relationship.

Don’t you think that his lack of respect is a problem?

Maybe he doesn’t respect your relationship.

Or maybe he doesn’t respect your dreams and goals.

And if he’s not respecting your relationship or your dreams and goals, then it might be time for you to dump him.

What can I do about it?

It’s not easy being a woman in the dating world, especially when you’re constantly being overlooked. In fact, it can be downright devastating.

But, as you can see, there are many reasons why he might be ignoring you, and it’s not all because he doesn’t find you attractive–even though that can definitely be a factor.

There are also different ways to respond to and fix this issue, including sending them an email telling them how much love and care they mean to you, asking for a date night together out of nowhere, or reaching out to them on Instagram or Facebook.

Whatever you think feels right for your relationship, you should definitely try to fix the problem because ignorance will indeed damage your relationship. And soon you’ll try to tell him what you feel, the better he’ll feel about you and the more he’ll want to see you.

So, if he’s ignoring you, then it might be time for you to ask him what’s going on.

And if he continues ignoring you, then it might be time for you to end the relationship.

There are many ways to respond to this problem, but I’m sure that the one that feels right will come naturally to you.

But first, make sure that he’s actually ignoring you and that it’s not something that you imagined instead.

He’s ignoring me for sure. What next?

By now you should have a good idea of why he’s ignoring you all the time.

So what can you do to resolve this?

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

How this one revelation changed my love life

It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

We do this by promoting his masterclasses.

One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.

Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.

==> Check it out here.

Best wishes,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

Written by Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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