Men can be strange creatures. They’re good at pretending they don’t need us, but in reality, they do—a lot!
It’s like they live in the land of opposites.
Act like you give a damn, and you’re unlikely to get a reaction. But ignore them, and watch how quickly you bring out their crazy.
Ignoring a guy is one of the smartest and savviest tricks to get him to chase you. It makes him want you more and is a surefire way to get him right where you want him—but only if you do it right.
Remember, the goal is never to manipulate or play games, but rather to inspire genuine connection. Your intentions should always be honest and positive.
If your curiosity is piqued and you want to find out more about how to go about it, you’re in the right place. This article looks at 12 no-nonsense reasons ignoring a guy works and how to do it properly—while always staying true to yourself and maintaining good intentions.
Let’s dive in.
Why does ignoring a man work?
There is an element of predictability about guys.
As mentioned before, they seem to live in opposites land, so, to get the results you need, you have to use good old-fashioned reverse psychology on them.
It’s no secret that chasing them is a huge turn-off. Also, don’t come across as too clingy or needy because this will cause your man to run screaming for the hills.
Men love doing the chasing. The thrill of trying to get something out of their reach is what drives them.
So what do you do?
Exactly the opposite. Even though just the thought of him makes you weak at the knees, you shut that feeling right down and put on your poker face.
You’re going to put on the best performance of your life and act like you’re unfazed, unbothered, and not interested in him in the slightest.
Think of it as a sport—almost like Squid Game—but in this version, the game is playing hard to get, and the prize isn’t money; it’s your dream man (minus the gory parts, of course).
It’s hard—I know!
The key here is to follow the steps provided and fake it until you make it!
1) Unleash his inner hunter
Through the ages, men have been hunters. So, yes, we live in 2024, but biologically, that instinct is still embedded in the male species.
There is nothing that men love more than the thrill of the chase. All that ducking, diving, stalking, and waiting that goes along with the pursuit, makes it that much more enticing.
So, what I’m getting at here is that when you ignore him, it triggers his hunting instinct. You start making him feel like he’s not able to have you, which makes him even more eager to pursue. It sounds idiotic and childish, but it’s the god honest truth.
So, when you find yourself in his presence, activate your inner Jennifer Lawrence and put on an Oscar award-winning performance pretending like you’re entirely unbothered by him.
2) You do you boo
Guys love feeling like they’re the ones who are in control. It makes them feel powerful and vital. It’s just how they are (generally speaking, of course)
The more unattainable you appear, the harder he will try to get to you.
When you act like you don’t care and ignore him (even though your heart is about to jump out of your chest), it makes him feel powerless.
You’re driving him insane because he is unable to figure out why the hell he can’t seem to have you.
In turn, he tries harder. When you fail to acknowledge him, you’re driving him nuts.
And no, don’t panic thinking he’s about to throw in the towel and give up. Men don’t work like that. What he’s now back to do, is to use every single trick he has in an attempt to conquer you!.
3) Be patient
Yes, I know. Good old patience. Blah blah blah…
Patience might sound boring, but it’s your best defense and greatest ally when it comes to using the tactic of ignoring someone.
You’ve done all the groundwork, and now it’s time to kick back, relax and watch him sweat.
Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up, and don’t waste your time waiting on him.
Also, if you guys are just getting started, don’t respond to his text and calls immediately.
Don’t flat-out ignore him because he will lose interest.
In this case, just let some time pass before you respond to his messages.
While you’re playing the patience game with him, turn some of that focus inward.
Let me explain what I mean.
Believe it or not, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have in the long run.
I’ve tried this strategy myself and let me tell you, it was transformative.
I used to be so focused on how my actions would be perceived by the guy I was interested in that I forgot about my own needs and feelings. It was exhausting and, honestly, it wasn’t getting me anywhere.
Then, I stumbled upon Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy Masterclass. This free course made me confront the fact that I was feeling lonely and that my emotional needs weren’t being met—no wonder I was having such strange dreams about finding love.
Taking the time to focus on myself allowed me to see where I was lacking in self-love and self-respect.
So while you’re giving him room and ignoring him for a bit, why not turn inward?
Focusing on your own self-improvement can make a world of difference in your relationships. I promise you, it’s worth it.
Check out the Love and Intimacy Masterclass here.
4) You’re the s#it!
Ok, so he doesn’t need to know that you basically live in your PJ’s, have absolutely no social life, and drink box wine while binge-watching episodes of the Crown with your two cats.
Here, once again, queue Jennifer Lawrence and make it seem like you live like an absolute queen.
Social media is going to help with this one. Be sure to post loads of pictures of yourself doing things. If you feel slightly insecure about yourself, girl, use those filters to make yourself look like a celebrity.
Ok, don’t get carried away and full catfish. There’s nothing wrong with adjusting the lighting and enhancing one or two things to make yourself feel better.
Also, post pictures of yourself where you’re posing with other guys. Then, get your guy friends to like and interact with your posts.
He doesn’t need to know that so and so is your gay best friend. It’s been coined “Fakebook” for a reason so, if you can’t beat them, join them!
What you’re doing is making yourself look like you have loads of options and that he (if he’s lucky) is merely one of them. (evil laugh)
This will get him super bothered because you’re just not paying him any attention, and it will drive him nuts knowing that you’re not obsessing about him.
You’re welcome 🙂
5) Let him obsess about you
Let’s cut the crap. Guys love attention. They crave it and love nothing more than being admired and doted on.
If you do the opposite, he’s going to try his damnedest to make you notice him. For example, you’re out at a bar.
There are loads of girls around him, hanging onto his every word. They’re giggling and flirting, all trying to vie for his attention.
So, instead of acting like a giddy school girl like the rest of them, act disinterested in what he’s saying. Then, take it up a notch and fake a yawn. Look at your watch and keep your poker face on at all times.
There might be loads of ladies around, but he’ll start wondering why on earth you’re yawning, looking at the time. Is he boring you? How can this be?
When he realizes that you’re not fixated on him, the opposite will start happening. He will begin to obsess about you. You’re unique, unimpressed by his boyish antics, and you become hot property. You leave him intrigued, wanting more and more.
6) Curb bad behavior
Another one for my non-single ladies, but this can also apply if you’ve got a crush on someone.
Sometimes, ignoring a guy is necessary to give him a reality check. But, unfortunately, some boyfriends take great pleasure in pushing our buttons to get a rise out of us.
For example, does your boyfriend purposely do things to piss you off? Does he try to say something to get under your skin to cause unnecessary drama?
Maybe he thinks causing a rift will give him leverage to go out and spend the weekend with the boys.
You know what I mean.
If you have a man who does this and enjoys winding you up, go ahead and ignore him completely. Don’t respond to his messages, engage in his silly antics, and just give him the silent treatment.
It’s a great way to get him to see the error in his ways, make him stop dead in his tracks, and think about what he’s done.
7) Show him who’s boss
If your man doesn’t pay you any attention and if he’s the type who likes to let his eyes wander when you’re out and about, give him a taste of his own medicine.
Let him feel you’re scorn and show him what it’s like when feelings are disregarded and what it’s like to feel inferior.
A guy who doesn’t seem to give a damn about you needs to be taught a lesson. So, do just that. Dump his ass. Shut him out entirely and cut him off cold.
Utterly drastic and dramatic, I know, but it works.
This will evoke a massive wake-up call in your man. It shows that if he’s not going to get his s@it together and is unwilling to play an active role in the relationship, you’re not afraid to pull the plug.
Disclaimer – This step takes guts! Only attempt this if you are 100% sure it will work. I would hate this to backfire!
So, with all that said, what you’re doing is making him feel like he’s replaceable, and he’s going to cling onto you like saran wrap.
Remember when Beyonce said: “ I can have another you in a minute.” Channel your inner Sasha Fierce and go for it.
When you make him feel like he’s replaceable, and you’re not, he’ll hold onto you much more tightly.
8) Create a sense of mystery
It’s time to introduce a little intrigue into the mix.
While it might feel tempting to sit around waiting for his texts or calls, don’t fall into that trap. Instead, fill your time with meaningful activities that keep your mind and hands busy.
Build your life so full of excitement that it naturally limits his access to you.
This isn’t about pretending—you should genuinely be pursuing things that make you happy. When he sees that you’re thriving on your own, with a full social calendar and personal goals, it sends a powerful message: he’s not the center of your universe.
By limiting his access, you create a sense of mystery. He’ll wonder what you’re up to, and that curiosity will make him crave more of your time and attention.
It’s like having your own exclusive “members-only” club, and he’ll want to be part of it.
9) Embrace a fulfilled life
Living your best life isn’t just a tactic—it’s a mindset.
Instead of waiting for him to call, take charge of your own happiness. Focus on the things that make you feel fulfilled and energized.
Whether it’s exploring a new hobby, connecting with friends, or pouring energy into your career, you should be investing in activities that enrich your life.
Staying active and pursuing personal passions will not only make you feel great but will also naturally make you more desirable. When you’re confident and fulfilled, you attract others without even trying.
But living your best life starts with self-love.
You can’t truly thrive if you don’t appreciate who you are at your core. If you’re not sure where you stand with self-love, a great place to start is the free Self-love Quiz by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
It’s a valuable tool that can help you gain insights into your relationship with yourself, highlighting areas where you can grow.
This journey of self-discovery will benefit both your personal well-being and your relationships, helping you build a life you love, regardless of whether a man is in the picture.
Take the Self-love Quiz today and start investing in yourself.
10) Save the drama (for your momma)
Most men are allergic to dramatic women.
They don’t enjoy seeing you throw tantrums, sob, and scream when you’re upset, or watching you fly into a fit of rage.
It causes them to feel overwhelmed and makes them reluctant to be around you. Also, you end up looking like a giant douche.
Often, guys struggle to understand our emotions, especially when you’re just starting to see each other.
So while it’s natural and completely normal to show some emotion, don’t make the fatal error of sending him bible sized texts and overly emotional voice notes of you sobbing because you miss him.
Keep it to yourself. That argument you had with your friend or boss, the frappuccino that spilled all over your Good American Jeans, etc.
Keep your wits about you when you’re upset or angry with him, and do your own thing. Saying nothing and ignoring him is way better than letting him know everything about your daily grind.
Some things are better left unsaid, and you need to keep an air of mystery going.
11) Let him do the work
Don’t do it, girl. Yes, I know you have the next three months’ worth of dates lined up. That’s what we do; we’re women. Unfortunately, it’s also unfair, and you end up looking like a control freak.
Ultimately…
Guys want to feel like they are in control (even if they aren’t). Remember what I said in the very beginning about hunting and chasing. Yup, let me repeat it.
When you plan everything, you’re taking away their chance to impress you. Remember, you’re an unattainable target with tremendously high standards, and he needs to pull out all the stops for you.
Remember how Kanye proposed to Kim? Ok, not that extra, But, unfortunately, what I’m saying.
When you let him do the work, you’re triggering his hero instinct. And no man I know doesn’t love being the hero in the story.
So, ignore the urge to want to control everything. Instead, leave it to him, and you might be pleasantly surprised.
12) Unleash his green-eyed monster
There’s nothing wrong with slapping on the peanut butter and JELLY from time to time.
If you want a man to chase you like you stole his money, there’s no better tactic than making him jealous—that and ignoring him, of course.
You can do this very quickly, but there’s a very fine line between making him jelly and making him feel like you’re not interested in him.
When you’re out, maintain eye contact with that hunky bartender, or laugh and gently touch your male bestie’s arm. See what I mean, subtle, yet effective.
What you’re doing is showing him that you’re desirable. Others want a piece of you too.
When he realizes that he could lose you to another guy if he doesn’t pull his weight in the relationship, he’ll sit up and start taking the initiative.
Wrapping up
So, I hope you’ve been paying attention and taking notes!
Whether you’re in a relationship or have your heart set on a special someone, using the ignore tactic is extremely important to keep his attention and stop him from acting like a douche.
Men aren’t that complicated after all. You just need to know how to play the game and be sure that you’re two steps ahead at all times.
But remember, it’s not just about him—it’s about you too. In fact, that’s where your real power lies.
So while you’re navigating the game of love, don’t forget to build a meaningful relationship with yourself first.
And for this, this free Love and Intimacy Masterclass from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê can be the best starting point.
As I mentioned above, it helped me rediscover the importance of self-love in a relationship dynamic, and it can do the same for you.
