10 signs you’re dealing with a genuinely cool person, according to psychology

“A person who is truly cool is a work of art.”– Suzy Kassem

Trying to explain what exactly makes someone cool is like trying to define love, since everyone has a unique vision of what “cool” looks like.

For some leather-clad rock musicians are the zenith of cool, others are more impressed by English professors surrounded by stacks of literature, or their neighbors who can decorate their houses using three pine branches and a roll of twine.

These are all very different vibes and skill sets, but they are all considered cool because they possess that certain “something” that allows them to stand out from the crowd effortlessly.

But coolness does not depend solely upon outward appearances. How someone behaves carries much more weight than how they look or dress. 

Psychologists suggest it’s the cool person’s chill attitude and composed demeanor that makes them who they are.

Coolness is also about self-acceptance and behaving authentically, being kind to others, meeting people where they are, and so on.

Wondering what other traits people who are considered cool may have? Read on!

1) Cool people put everyone at ease

One of the coolest things about cool people is how quickly they put everyone at ease. This is because cool people are entirely present in the moment and genuinely interested in other people’s feelings and perspectives.  

They utilize a technique experts call active listening and enthusiastically engage in conversation, which makes everyone feel heard and valued.

And that tends to make quite an impression on people.

2) They are who they are

Many people will change their outward personality based on the people they’re with. For example, the boss gets the more subdued version of you, while your friends get your wilder side. 

But cool people, on the other hand, bring their own unique vibe to every situation, every time. In an appropriate manner, of course, but they are who they are.

More importantly, they understand that in most instances the truth comes in shades of gray more often than in black and white. 

Cool people instinctively understand nuance and can tune into others even when their own energy is not in alignment with theirs.

This is because most people we would consider cool are self-confident enough to be authentic themselves, and they also allow others to be.

3) Cool people are independent

Effortlessly cool folks are usually fiercely independent. Since they tend to be so personable, other people usually admire this individualistic streak.

After all, there’s nothing quite as cool as having the confidence to fearlessly pursue the life you want.

Another crucial component of coolness is the person’s disinterest in impressing other people. Cool people do stuff because they want to, not because of the optics.

Part of being cool is not caring if you’re seen as cool.

4) They’re unflappable

According to psychology, cool people are just as exposed to life’s pressures and prone to stress as anyone else is.

And yet, they remain unflappable.

Picture Bug Bunny nonchalantly munching on his carrot when Elmer Fudd is holding a rifle to his head.

Cool people (and wascally wabbits) get that staying in control under stressful circumstances is advantageous in the long run. They understand that there’s nothing to be gained from freaking out except more chaos and misery.

They maintain their laid-back attitude, allowing them to judge a situation with far more clarity than someone who falls apart. These folks have an innate ability to see the big picture and realize that most of our worries never actually materialize

At the very least, cool people know that losing it won’t change anything or improve the outcome. That’s why the presence of calm, cool, and collected folks is so comforting.

5) They’re up for anything

I can make it happen 10 signs you’re dealing with a genuinely cool person, according to psychology

Cool people carefully assess the situation at hand before getting upset or giving up. They appear more capable than anyone else because they’re always prepared.

Cool folks make everything they do seem organic and effortless, whether it’s changing their own oil, learning to master the piano, or running their first 10 K. They just take a deep, cleansing breath and figure it out.

“How hard can it be? I’ve got this,” is a cool person’s mantra.

6) Cool people are not judgmental

Cool people don’t try to hide their quirks. They embrace them, which makes it easier for them to accept the quirks of other people.

Because of this trait, cool people are exceptionally open-minded and nonjudgmental, which makes them a people magnet.

After all, people enjoy being in the company of someone who makes them feel good about themselves, and cool people exude positivity.

7) No outside validation

As we’ve touched upon, coolness denotes no desire to impress others, especially by pretending to be something they’re not.

Cool people understand they don’t need outside validation to be who they authentically are. They understand that the only validation that carries any weight is their own.

8) Adventurous and unafraid

Why do we admire cool people?

Simple. Because they do all the things we are afraid to do ourselves. This sort of unwavering self-assurance is one of the main reasons people seem cool to others.

Most cool folks are natural-born rebels. They don’t believe that might makes right. They believe values and ethics are the true barometer of justice, not authority.

9) They’re authentic

According to psychology, the very foundation of coolness is someone’s authenticity. People who are effortlessly cool do not try to be anyone except exactly who they are.

They never hide their genuine selves no matter how quirky or downright unconventional their personality is.

In fact, it would never even cross their minds to wear separate masks for every situation. With cool people, what you see is what you get.

10) Cool people are fun

Why do people always gravitate to those they deem as cool? Because cool people are fun to be around, plain and simple.

And that’s because it’s impossible to be bored around someone who can make a trip to the dump a rollicking good time.

We love them because they make the most mundane experiences into something memorable.

Cool people know how to get the best out of life.

This explains why the coolest person in your friend group is forever diving into freezing water, spontaneously pulling you along on their latest adventure, and cracking everyone up with their unique observations.

Final thoughts

Social media makes it way too easy for people to toot their own horn while basking in the glow of their followers’ adoration.

You can make yourself appear larger than life with just a few keystrokes.

Cool people don’t play that. They know their hard work and persistence are responsible for their successes, but they never forget that their mentors, a great team, and a heaping helping of luck also played a part.

Cool people are humble. That’s why they’re not afraid to ask questions or seek advice.  They know the only silly question is the unasked one.

And they recognize and acknowledge the strong points and accomplishments of others they associate with.

Cool people don’t pat themselves on the back for how much they’ve accomplished in the past. Instead, they’re focused on what they want to achieve in the future.

All in all, cool people are pretty, well – cool.

Picture of Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden lives in a New England forest paradise with her cats, kid, and trusty laptop. She has been writing since age 8 and is such a pack rat she can back that up with physical evidence. Music is her solace and words are her drug, so her house is strewn with records and books. Watch your step.

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